---

            The rain poured

                        Dripping, falling to the ground

            Darkness was alive but it mourned

                        Love's kiss needs to be found

---

The ringing sound of the alarm clock woke me; it was 6 in the morning. I looked at Su Ho's bed, checking if he already woke up. But he was still there, hugging his pillow and blanket tight. Used tissues were scattered on the floor and on his bed.

I quickly stood from my bed. I nearly touched his forehead but...

"D-Don't..." He said. "I'll stand up soon," Su Ho said but his voice was weak.

"You're not going to school," I said and held his forehead. "Holy cow, you're burning hot! You can't go to school, Su Ho,"

"I will go to school! I can still stand," Su Ho almost shouted, but he ended up sneezing.

Aigoo, why haven't I stayed up late to see how he's doing?

"Don't worry, I'll ask some of your friend's notes, alright?" I convinced him.

"No," Su Ho suddenly stood; irritation written all over his face. "Look, the last think that I'm going to ask for your favor is this marriage. I don't need your help, Gaeul. I don't want any more favors from you! Stop taking care of me because the more you do the more I get attached to you and you make me feel so intimidated! I hate these feelings!"

What? Su Ho's intimidated with me?

Su Ho walked out of the room. "I will finish the paper, and don't stop me. Stop nagging that I'm sick and all, I'm tired of it!"

Why is he so mad? Is it because he's sick? My knees trembled and I'm not sure how to approach him anymore. He was scary, as if he was a different person.

I ended up walking towards the school. I did not take my breakfast, nor waited for Su Ho to finish taking a bath. I think I want to go home now. Not in Su Ho's house in our own house. I needed to be away from him. He's right, I hate these feelings too. The more I see him and talk to him, the more I get attached.

I felt a tear drop on my cheek. Then I felt my knees drop too. I was crying. Crying on the sidewalk like an idiotic, depressed girl.

Tomorrow's the wedding. And today doesn't seem like it. Nor the past two days I've stayed with him.

"Gaeul-ah?!" I heard JB's voice from afar. He was inside a car that stopped just beside me. He walked out of the car and quickly went towards me.

"How did you know that the idiotic-looking crying girl on the sidewalk was me?" I asked.

"Gaeul, I've seen your limited edition backpack, alright? You bought it with me remember?" JB asked, and I chuckled from it.

I wanted to keep on laughing but my melting heart stops me. "Sorry for everything, JB. I know I've said something really harsh to you yesterday,"

"It doesn't matter to me, Gaeul," JB pulled me to stand up. "What's the matter? Why are you crying?" He asked, holding my cheeks and wiping my tears with his thumb.

"I don't know, I just feel really sad and the tears are falling," I said, my tears starting to fall again. "See?"

JB hugged me. "Let's get you inside the car,"

I finally stopped from crying as we reached the school. Yet something was wrong. Everyone was staring at JB and me, like we've done something wrong.

"Do you get why they're staring at us?" I asked.

JB's eyebrows furrowed with curiosity written all over his face. I know how he looks like when he's nervous, and at this time, he looks like he is.

We reached the lobby and a bulleting board was so crowded. I thought there was a commotion, but when JB and I came, people stared and got quiet, giving us space to see what's on the bulletin board.

It was a picture of us hanging out for some pizza, after their defense and a picture of me with Su Ho, going out of his car. And a title saying: How to be the school's top? Hit on the school's Top One!

And then I heard someone sneeze behind us. It was Su Ho. He breathed heavily, looking so tired and stressed. He didn't greet me, instead he walked straightly to the bulletin board and quickly took all of the pictures; tearing and crumpling them into a ball and throwing it towards the crowd.

"Got some better tips than that?" He asked and snickered.

One by one, the people left. And then, no one's around but me, Su Ho and JB. We all stood quietly.

"Didn't I tell you to stay away from her?" Su Ho asked in a very weak voice. I wanted to tell him to go back home but...

"I can't and I won't," JB said and suddenly pulled me, but then I felt Su Ho's hand got my free hand, pulling me to the other side.

"She's my fiancée," Su Ho said.

"I told you to act like one," JB said. "You should let her go if you don't like her,"

"A contract's a contract. She's mine," Su Ho said sternly. I could feel the heat under his palm. He shouldn't be angry right now! He should be resting and relaxing...

My stupid mouth wanted to speak out. And so it did. "If you're just following the contract, we can just call off the wedding,"

Why did I say that? I don't want it to happen, but I think it's the right way. I've been contemplating back in JB's car on our way here, and this was the 'best' decision I could make? This is the worst!

Su Ho looked at me. I don't know if he was just sick, but his eyes looked so hurt and broken. It wasn't his typical disappointed look. It was just so sad, that I looked on the ground so I wouldn't meet those eyes anymore.

"Are you trying to threaten me?" Su Ho asked, his voice cracking.

"No. I'm just telling you I can't marry someone who will just act so burdened because of the marriage contract," I said.

Su Ho looked at me and then at JB. He then walked away, leaving JB and I alone.

"Are you serious, Gaeul?" JB asked.

"I don't know anymore, JB."  I said.

"Your wedding's tomorrow!" JB reminded me, more of scolding me.

That night, I walked back to the house. To my family's house. They were so surprised to see me and they flooded my mind with questions that I couldn't answer. I know, I shouldn't be here. But going back to Su Ho's house seems like a worse idea than this.

I locked myself inside the room, leaving my family hanging. My parents were so surprised, they were even asking me if we're going to call off the wedding. And to be honest, I don't know what to answer to. I don't want to call it off. I am very willing to marry Su Ho. Only he doesn't seem like he is.

I closed my eyes, and a tear fell on my cheek. It didn't surprise me. I feel like my heart itself was crying as well. The swelling pain on my chest, the heavy feeling of my breaths, the different blanket I was covering myself with - they were all very depressing.

I miss Kim Junmyeon. And I don't know if I'm going to miss him forever.

I drifted off to sleep, dreaming of Su Ho holding my hand so tight, telling me, no, pleading me with the words I heard him say in his dream: "Gaeul ah... Don't let go of me."