Park Yu Mi quietly watched her warm breath make little white clouds getting easily dissolved into the icy March air. The way they would create pretty little shows that could only last for a few seconds made her feel self-conscious about the small things that surrounded her. She had been watching the lonely street in complete silence for a whole of 25 minutes, simply dazed by the crazy idea that she was alive, breathing and existing.

She mostly blamed her parents for such a flaw. Over analyzing things and having philosophical conversations with herself had stigmatized her as an abnormal being for the rest of society, often making her a laughing stock or having others over alienating her, to the point of becoming completely withdrawn from society.

She blamed the books they bought to make her open minded, and the cultural conversations they would engage into to make her a thoughtful person. 

Now she had to go to counseling to solve her ‘‘problems with people skills’’, or rather the lack thereof.

Comfortable with the peacefulness of her reflections, she skillfully lighted a cigarette and took a drag; meaning to enjoy more of her little space away from the noise, away from the mess life was, outside of the world.

If mom saw you like this, what a freaking disappointment

A faintly sight escaped her lips at the memory of what her parents had told her two months ago

‘‘We believe it would be better for you, for all of us, if you could get a chance to start afresh in a new school. Somewhere where you can make friends and happy memories of high school ’’

Yu Mi remembered her last attempt to be part of high school society, that little memory that was destined to be forever imprinted on her mind, like a broken Pistols record reminding her of how disturbing human beings could be.

 

 

 

‘‘Maybe this time could be different’’

 

 

But of course, not it wasn't. One week into high school and she was being skillfully ignored. She had introduced herself looking like she had just discovered the secret of the universe on the floor and stuttering like an idiot, only to find furtive looks from the girls and scary wolf like grins from the boys when she finally managed to look up.

I honestly don't know what you thought was gonna happen.

 But now, almost catching the second week, Yu Mi had adapted herself pretty nicely to the unrelentingly threatening territory.  She got used to eating lunch at the stairs again and speaking only when questioned by the teacher. Somehow, although it sounds pretty bad, she was content with it. At least people talked behind her back this time, which was nice.

Don't things up again

Also in the peacefulness of being invisible she had found many secrets with the simple power of observation.  Like, she was sure that if no one stopped her,  senior TaeYeon, the prettiest girl in school, was going to commit suicide before she reached 20. Don’t get her wrong she didn't hate her, but she knew because in her eyes there was nothing, she was present but sometimes you would confuse her with a shadow or a memory of who she had been.  Also, Yu Mi was pretty sure it was her boyfriend’s fault; you know, the one who made her flinch every time he tried to kiss her and the one she lost her ity to, although Yu Mi was pretty sure they didn’t love each other and that she just ed him to feel a little less dead. 

If not take that shy pretty boy Choi Min Ho that was always smiling at Yeri but actually held Sulli's hand when no one was looking; Even though she had an older boyfriend, probably twice his size. 

This world is crazy.

Of course she did know someone in the whole school. That was Park Ji Min, her cousin.

He was somewhat the star of the family, The golden boy. But maybe that was because there was only Yu Mi and him, and it wasn’t hard to choose since one could spot the normal child from blocks away, something that always set Yu Mi on uneasiness. Her parents wanted a school where she could feel ‘comfortable’ so they chose JiMin’s school, with hopes he would integrate her into the high school life.

Of course that also didn’t happen. Rounding her second week Ji Min was nowhere to be seen. She wondered if maybe he also didn’t want to be her friend and was simply hiding or changing schools by now. She was sure her cousin was really popular in school as he was the angel of the family.

But on a Thursday as she was heading to her spot on the stairs for lunch, she saw the figure of  boy she knew too well. He was against a wall and spying over the edge of it towards the hall that was full of students. Besides him there was another boy, a little bit taller than him and with darker hair. He was whispering something to her cousin in a too close way.

Suddenly a laughing Ji Min turned around quickly only to find the curious eyes of Yu Mi watching the boys intently. His little eyes widened in a funny way and for a moment he really wished he could just disappear. Without much thinking he looked away as if he had seen air and started walking the opposite way.

Now that made her feel special.

He doesn’t want you

‘’ Park Ji Min, freeze ‘’  She yelled as if they were eight again playing cop and robber

The boy immediately froze, not realizing that that was real life and they clearly weren’t eight anymore.

When would he ever not obey Yu Mi if they were children again?

He turned around, Yu Mi looked at him with a pained expression like she couldn't hold her tears, while in his eyes there was no regret or pain, just pure panic

‘’ I am doing is for your own good, trust me ‘’

The dark haired boy that was next to him also turned around to face her ‘’ Gee, you two don't look alike at all ‘’ A smile immediately appeared on his face '' Luckily for her '' 

Yu Mi wouldn’t say he was ugly, maybe not the most attractive person on school, but he wasn't what you would call horrible.

‘’ Why are you evading me? ‘’ She pouted. She knew her cousin had a really soft spot for girls, especially for her. ‘’ I thought you said you would help me make some friends’’

Ji Min's friend laughed out loud as if she had said the funniest thing in the world. Yu Mi stared at him confusedly while her cousin elbowed him on the ribs 

'' Would you shut up Ho Seok '' He told him harshly making Yu Mi frown

The boy shrugged and stepped closer to her with hands on his pockets and a dirty smile '' I am Jung Ho Seok, your cousin's lover ''

He scanned her face looking for the reaction he was expecting which never really came. At first her face was blank, but then her features were adorned with a warm smile. 

'' Nice to meet you, cousin in law ''

Jung Ho Seok was taken aback, he only managed to stare at her. The silence that surrounded them only made Yu Mi feel worse, trying to figure out what she had said that blew up the only chance she had had that week of making a new friend

Great Yu Mi, you have ed it up yet again

Ji Min suddenly interrupted their awkward silence with laugh  '' Yah stop messing around with her '' She carefully watched Ho Seok, who was staring at Ji Min intently, his Adam apple raising up and down as if meaning to say something else        '' She isn't one of them, J-Horse; She is my cousin after all '' He displayed a proud smile that made her tummy feel hot and nice.

However, his expression quickly changed and he turned around  '' Anyways...we have to run, see ya around '' Ji Min said, walking like a mad man towards the other end of the corridor

 

The girl stood still not knowing what had happened to make the boy change so quickly '' Wait Ji Min, d-did i do something to upset you ? ''   

The boy sighted, when would this ridiculous girl ever understand something?

'' Please, just act as if you don't know me '' He pleaded, not realizing she was about to leak a tear '' I swear it's for your own good''

'' I, I don't understand ''

She was confused by his words. No,  she wasn't air headed, she knew it probably was an insult but that was the first time Ji Min had said something offensive about her. They usually got along so well people would confuse them with siblings.

Ho Seok rolled his eyes and kneeled to her eye level '' Isn't it obvious? '' he asked with a snarl '' It would be social suicide to hang out with a member of the Greek Club ''