Dear Diary,

It’s Youngjae. I’m writing this entry on the plane because our manager hyung just told us that our flight has been delayed, so the one-hour travelling time has been extended to at least another three to four hours. I’m not exactly thrilled, but I guess I could do with some extra resting time.

I feel bad for the fans who were anticipating our concert… I mean, it’s not like we could have predicted the torrential downpour that’s hindering all flights from taking off and causing the runway to be packed, but I can’t help but feel uncomfortable about having to push back the concert by an hour. The hectic schedule which does not allow for rest time also translates to us having to give a concert before we’re completely warmed up, which is the reason I’ve decided to sit next to Mark on the plane. Well… one of the two reasons.

First, even though our members aren’t all seated together, we’ve been split into pairs – Mark and I, Jackson and Bambam, Yugyeom and Jinyoung and lastly, Jaebum and our manager hyung. And even though we’ve literally been separated into pairs across this plane, I can hear Jaebum warming up his vocal cords (which, contrary to popular belief, he actually does because he does not have a perfect voice that’s fully functional as and whenever he needs it to) with breathing exercises. I can almost picture our manager hyung’s face, pressed out of the window and wishing he had seated Yugyeom next to our embarrassing leader instead, as he glares at the other planes on the runway, wishing he was anywhere but beside the boy who had already gotten four complaints since we had sat down and prepared for take-off.

Secondly, Mark’s just reading his own book, not paying me a single bit of attention as I write in this diary. That gives me enough freedom not to act all suspicious as I try to cram in an entry without being noticed. I’m pretty convinced that Mark already knew what I was up to when I asked to borrow a pen from him, but he’s not giving me any empty threats or stupid grins today, so that’s good.

He’s reading some English book now, with his headphones covering his ears and his reading glasses perched on the tip of his nose. I can’t recognise the song that’s currently playing, but I can hear the soft thumping of the bass from a seat away. After some stealthy (probably not, since my target is Mark Tuan) peeks and glances, I’ve discovered that the book is titled, ‘The Art of Thinking Clearly’. It takes me a while to translate the English words into Korean, then piece the jumbled characters together until they form a sensible phrase.

I wonder why Mark chooses to read non-fiction, self-motivational books. He’s unlike Jinyoung, who pretty much reads anything from sappy French poetry to historical novels and biographies. I don’t doubt that Mark borrowed this particular book from Jinyoung’s library in our dorm, which is only expanding each time he visits the bookstore in the airport. The spare one hour of shopping time we have after we enter the boarding terminal is the only real breather we get in between our schedules. I guess that’s why I’ve come to love flying even more. The adrenaline rush when the plane lifts its wheels off the asphalt road and gradually settles in the sky – it’s like I’m finally above the clouds. I’m calm, and no one can stress me anymore because all my problems are literally miles below me, on the ground. I’ve always preferred longer flights, because the more time we spend in the air, the more I feel my mind being at peace and the more time I have to finally breathe again.

After confiding in Mark how I really felt about my decreasing passion for singing and being a part of our group, there isn’t an hour that passes by without me mulling over what I said. Maybe JYP-nim was right. He had warned me about debuting just seven months of training. The others had so many more months of experience than I did, and the only thing that I had which levelled theirs, was probably the desire to debut. Perhaps, just maybe, if I