a/n: here's a chapter for wenrene. this chapter but oh well, i have always been at writing so.. se you in another chapter! thank u for all of u who supports this story! ciao

****

“Seungwan.”

Wendy flickered her eyes open as if she had not been sleeping the entire time. Her body jolted upward in instinct. She sat herself up. Her breath was shallow; chest heaving up and down heavily and she inhaled a huge amount of breath before letting it out through her nose. She put her palm against her sweaty forehead in attempt to ease her throbbing head. Another hand soon tugged on the sleeve of her white t-shirt. She let go obediently and let the same hand massaging her temple instead.

"Are you alright?” Irene questioned groggily yet worriedly. Wendy knew she had woken the latter up in this ungodly hour.

"I’m alright.” She said, voice tight and hoarse before she pulled the woman’s hand off her forehead. She looked around her surrounding. They were in their bedroom. Nothing was wrong. It was just like any other night with Irene sleeping beside her and her phone underneath her pillow in a silent mode. The mattress was as smooth as ever and the room was as dark as the night outside the window. The loudness of her breath was somewhat deafening and Wendy thoughts unconsciously went back to her dreams. 

Wendy shook her head and shuddered. It was better to let go than thinking about it. She tugged both her and the worried Irene back to bed, lying on her right shoulder and let her bandage hand behind Irene's back for her not to see while she rest the other one on the curve of the woman waist, just like what she would always do on any other night. She pulled the blanket higher for them and gave the woman a tired smile, which was returned with an uncertain one.

"It’s just nightmare.” She tried to assured but Irene stay unfazed and just keep looking at her with concern.

"Want to share?” Irene offered. Wendy was touched at how considerate Irene was to her. It was like she totally forgot that Wendy had just told her a story of the other side of her life that Irene has never heard before, even after three years of dating. 

The guilt was there.

Wendy wiped those frown drawn on Irene's forehead with her thumb, caressing the skin lightly. "It's fine, maybe some other time." Wendy said with a smile. "And Joohyun.."

Irene hummed her answer, looking at Wendy expectantly, waiting for her to continue her words. Irene always like it when Wendy called herby her real name. She told Wendy once before. Just like how she like it whenever Irene always put her at peace.

Wendy bit her lips for a moment, contemplating if it was the right timing to say this. Thousands of pessimist-kind-of-thoughts were jumbling all over her head, and she felt like going crazy for a second. But then again, dragging it any longer would made things become more worse and complicated. She needed no more complication in her life at the moment.

"I'm sorry.." Wendy whispered on the small space that separating both of their face together. Irene stared at her and Wendy found it unbearable to look at those unreadable eyes. Irene's eyes were like a vast outer space with millions of stars waiting to be discovered. She always lost in it.

Irene was the type of person who talk with her eyes, she acknowledge that. That was why even though Irene was trying to cover the reflection of her feelings in her eyes, she knew that Irene was obviously upset and frustrated at her. She cursed herself mentally because of that, and looked away from Irene's gaze with excuse to find out what time it was. 03:46 in the morning. 

Wendy fingers fiddle with Irene's brown hair, enjoying the feel of each strands slipped off from her fingers, distracting her attention from everything that was happening including the fact that Irene's answer was still on delay and it was bothering her more than she had expected. Maybe she should have never talked about it in the first place. What if Irene would not talk to her after this? She was not sure whether she could stand having Irene hate her, let alone leave her. She was about to pull her hand away from Irene’s locks when the latter called her.

"Seungwan-ah."

"Yeah?" She asked, a bit terrified of what she was going to hear next. The time she told Irene about herself, her past, Irene did not say anything. The first time she heard Irene talk after that was when she woke her up from the nightmare she just had. So she prepared herself for any curses or anything, anything hurt.

What Irene did next was not screaming at her, or slaps her or anything along those lines but instead she could feel Irene tangling her feet with her and cuddled closer to her, nose placed at the base of . Wendy's heart started to skip a beat yet at the same time she felt calm, content and everything that was a total opposite of what she felt just now. Too bad all those feels had to be accompanied with the guilt. If not Wendy would want the time to stand still right at that moment.

"Tell me how you got recruit by the organization?" Irene requested with a thin voice, like the wind's whispers, like the shrieking voice the leaf made against the road. It was small but somehow Wendy managed to hear her. Was it the close proximity? It could be. Nonetheless, Wendy found no reason not to answer her, despite her unwillingness to bring up her past.

"I was crying outside the building when my uncle told me that my parents were death," Wendy said as soft as what Irene just did. She found it unnecessary to raise her volume at the moment. It was quiet enough for them to hear each other breath and Wendy swear if she concentrated enough, she could hear Irene's heartbeat with her bare ears.

"And there was this man, the head of the organization actually, approached me. He was quite old back then yet the badges on his old black suit kind of intimidated me." Wendy said chuckling, and she heard Irene giggling too. It felt as if she was telling a story. A bedtime story early in the morning. Shifting on her position, she put her chin on the peak of Irene's head, sighing quietly.

"I thought that by joining the CIA I can track those people who.. Killed my parents. And I did. At the end I finally found them." Wendy said, felt dry at one point of her short story. It was not like she did not want to tell Irene the whole thing that happened. It was just that the words felt sting at point of her tongue and she did not want to scare Irene with more details.

The mission was nasty, Wendy remember it so vividly as if it just happened yesterday night. It stills haunted her until this exact point, especially when she was stressed out, the memory would hunted her in her sleep. Blood was everywhere, screams and pain were scattered by not only her but also the other agents presented at the abandoned premises that night. She remembered how she almost lost her life. She remembered the pain of having a silver bullet gracing over her cheek and shoulder. She remembered her whole life played in a slow motion after that, like a film. She remembered the hatred, the brutality, and the violence that flashed through his eyes. It frightened her, more than some random guy pointing a gun to her head.

"What about.. Those foreigners at your office?" Irene asked gingerly, playing with the material of Wendy's loose T-shirt.

Wendy was not sure how many times she let out a sigh that day, let alone that night. Not because Irene, but because of herself. Wendy eyes gradually travel upward to look at the ceiling, trying to find a perfect answer. The image of a grumpy young Krystal and a cheerful Seulgi in between her and the now blonde haired girl somehow brought a slight smile to herself, really small that it was hard to be counted as a smile. Besides, the time she had with them was obviously not all that unpleasant, if anything, she considered both of them as her second family, where she could show everything underneath her thick skin. Oh well, not anymore.

"We were a team. Best friends working in a team." Wendy started off. She felt a nod from Irene, indicating that she was listening. "But it just that, everything went downhill somehow."

Irene pulled away slightly, placing her hand on Wendy's cold cheek. "So you guys are no longer close to each other?" 

"I'm not willing to." Wendy said shamefully. Yes, she would not want to be close with them again. Maybe she did not hate them as much as she used to, but she still keep on standing on her feet and avoid both of them as much as possible. 

"But they help you.." Irene trailed off and put her hand away.

"I know." Wendy uttered. "I know."

"I'm scared Seungwan.." Irene admitted. Her voice was not more than a whisper but Wendy heard it loud and clear as if the air vibrations went straight to her ears. She pushed herself to get a better look of her girlfriend and the sight of Irene's biting her own lips with watering eyes broke her heart into million pieces. When she saw her own reflection in those eyes, she felt a part of her had just death.

"I'm sorry.." That was she could say, aside from bringing Irene closer to her body for a protective embrace, she could do nothing. She was practically the reason behind Irene's sadness, there was no denying.

"What if, what if they found you? What if you got hurt? I just.." Irene paused on her words the moment, her voice cracked. A sniffling sound soon followed after and Wendy closed her eyes painfully while listening to Irene's uneven breath. Dear god what should she do? She felt awful, because Irene's still worrying about her, not about herself while it was the opposite for her. She did not want Irene to get hurt. Not even one strand of her hair.

"Hey, hey look at me." They locked eyes and an unpleasant feeling started to crawl up to her brain when she looked at Irene's red eyes. It felt like she had just killed someone and she felt the regret started to eat her alive.

"We will be safe, we will be fine." Wendy tried to assured her, giving her hands a reassuring squeeze. She brushed her lips with Irene's quivering one before giving her a sweet gentle kiss. She sense the needy movement from Irene and she devour the taste of her chapped lips with her whole heart and let her instinct to play for her.

She transformed her guilt and despair to lust and love.

"Yes, I'm sorry sir for this sudden news. Uhuh, Wendy got a new job and we need to move out as soon as possible." Irene took a glance at the younger girl who was looking at her the whole time. Irene gave her a smile before focusing back to the words her soon to be ex boss said to her. "Yeah, i will say it to her. Thank you sir, once again i apologize. Have a pleasant day sir." Irene ended the call.

"You know.. You can just call him later. We still have three days before we move out." Wendy said as she pushed herself away from the doorframe between the kitchen and the living room to the awaiting Irene.

"The faster the better." Wendy just chuckled.

"And he said to sent his greeting to you." Irene added as Wendy plopped her body down next to Irene on the couch and she automatically scooted closer to the younger woman. There was more actually, he also congratulated Wendy for the new job, but she did not say it.

"Massage is received." Wendy said smiling and put her right hand on Irene's shoulder. She heard Irene giggling slightly and her smile only got widen when Irene intertwined her fingers with her right one. Unfortunately, it did not last long enough as she hissed in pain when her injured fist started to burn.

"Sorry," Irene muttered as she inspected the bandaged fist. She turned Wendy’s hand around slightly and Wendy could only watch as Irene grimaced when she was inspecting her injury, as if she was the one who was hurt instead. "We need to change the bandage." Irene said quietly with a frown. "And that one on your left upper arm too."

Having years of experience tending wounds from the lighter to the more serious one, Wendy was glad that Irene was capable on taking care of her. She could not help but to admired her girlfriend as she watched Irene's nursing instinct came to surface. She always thought the older girl look a thousand times more beautiful when she did that, not like she was not beautiful in the first place.

Irene stood up from her sit and tugged on her hand slightly, motioning for her to get up. She obeyed it without a second thought and followed Irene to get the first aid kit Irene had always stored at the counter in the kitchen. She let Irene dragged her by her pinkie finger and quietly laughed at the cute gesture. 

She just hope god would give her another infinity chances for them to be together like this.