*Beep* "

Honey, I just remembered I had a business dinner. I'll try to be home but don't wait up for me."

*Beep*

"Sorry hon, I'm not going to be home tonight. I have a unexpected business trip. My flight leaves in three hours and it would be pointless to come home to leave immediately. I'll be back next week."

*Beep*

"You're mad. I'm so sorry. I messed up. I walked in to an anniversary present from your bestie. I'm going to miss her but I'm sure you'll make friends quickly with all the new staff. How about you go crazy in Rolex? Get those matching watches you were talking about."

*Beep*

"Not even responding to text. Ok you're angry. I'm sending you a surprise at work to make up for the missed dinner."

*Beep*

"WOW! I know you miss us. What a way to rub in how awesome your new job is and how wonderful your husband is? The lunch was awesome! Got to go sneak some seconds in. Yummy!"

*Beep*

"I'm going to say I really messed up. I saw the gift I left in your car still there and the flowers still on the porch. Tell me how to make it up and I will. Call me. I'll be in the office all day."

*Beep*

"Babe, call me. I tried your job and they told me you don't work in that location. Why aren't you calling me?"

*Beep*

"Call Me!"

*Beep*

"Hey first wife, it's work wife. *haha* I'm going to miss this title but now I get to be "Only" wife. *hehe* I got the present. OMG! I almost my pants. They are so beautiful. How did you find them? They make me almost forgive you for not being able to come to the wedding. The hubby looked so lost and confused. Kept staring at the door the whole evening. I hope his new Secretary finds her groove soon. Anyway thanks again. Love them and love you, see you in two months. Oops wrong number. "

*Beep*

"Babe, I'm so confused. I got a call from a lawyer about papers I've supposedly been served. I have no idea what he is talking about. You haven't given me anything. These pants should have been tailored. Why hasn't the laundry done? The dishes are piling in the sink and there's no more coffee. *slamming door* Where are you because it sure isn't home. Nothing has been done. There's even food still on the...good god that smells awful how long has that been there. What the hell...wait this is your phone...divorce papers?"

*Beep*