Finding your spouse cheating is a blow to anyone.  You put your trust and love into someone and place them above everyone else and only to find out you are not held in the same place .  I thought I found the perfect one for me.  He treated me as if I was the most precious in the world, we talked, we laughed and we made magic when ever we were together.  That was in the beginning.  But it was four years of dating and two years of marriage, when I started to notice small changes.  I chalked it up to honeymoon phase is over.  I realized with the increased work hours he was tired, so not much talking and was not as regular but we still cuddled and he still needed me by his side. 

I honestly wasn't looking but when you grow up with a suspicious mother you learn to notice little things. Your cell phone is never far from your hand, you started filling up the car more but your only going to work and back, the toll receipts aren't matching your stories.  I knew but I didn't want to know.  I let myself become delusional.  You love me above everyone else.  I was your spouse, your partner, I had the ring. I looked in the mirror and saw an idiot.

You never saw me standing there watching you.  I was right in the middle of the window watching you give my affections to someone else.  That smile, that laugh, those touches, all of those were mine and yet I was not the one receiving them anymore.  It hurt and yet the pain made me feel something seeing as how you basically left home, being me.  

Sure you came home from time to time, business trips, overnight stays you claimed.  But you came home to a house.  We no longer talked outside of reminders.  I became your calendar.  You looked to me to remind you of dates and family and friendly obligations.  I was a glorified personal assistant. I got the house and a bank account as payment.  I decided to not remind you of our anniversary.  I hoped you wouldn't forget it.  

You forgot it, In glorious fashion you forgot it.  I sat in our restaurant and watched you have dinner with my replacement.  I watched you ignore my calls, receive adoring kisses and compliments about this great surprise.  You see your secretary booked the restaurant, the flowers and the surprise band for our third anniversary but little did we know that was your lovers birthday as well.  Surprises all around.

As I sat there watching my home be burgled, I decided it was time for me to move on.  I sipped my drink and as the tears rolled down my face,  I boarded my one way flight out of Egypt.  I had enough of that river.  It was time for me to move on.

I found a job.  I told you about it.  You said why would I need it and I said I was bored.  You smiled and told me you had a business trip to a conference in NYC.  You would be gone for the weekend. You fell asleep in your office as you have taken to do recently.  Not sure if your actually working or actively avoiding me. I moved in the guest room that night.  I could stand sleeping in that bed we bought together.  The guest room was the my bed from my apartment.  I guess it was time to start my single mentality over again.

I loved my new job.  My coworkers and I got along so well and honestly I missed working and being independent.  I told them I was married and they wanted to meet my husband.  I told you to show up at my award ceremony and you did.  You made everyone fall for you.  You played the loving husband that I almost forgot you weren't mine any longer.  I always remember that night fondly.  

I threw myself into my job.  I got promoted and you diligently sent over the required flowers for valentines, my new office and birthday.  It was your secretary that sent them.  I found out when I called her about our fourth anniversary.  She asked if I liked the flowers since you were vague about which ones I liked.  You weren't sure if it was tulips or roses.  I hate roses.  You laughed at that the first time I told you that and always made sure I never got a rose in any flowers you gave me.  

I  guess fate was on my side.  After that informative call I was offered a position in our California office.  I was shocked. I was only a year in but they thought I was the best for the position and only hesitated because of my husband.  I told them I would talk to my husband and let them know my decision.  I already made my decision long ago.  

You beat me home that night.  I remember you asked me to show you how to make pasta.  We had a pleasant night. We have some wine and I told you about the transfer offer.  You laughed and said it was flattering. You never even entertained the thought to ask how I felt.  I told you that I was going to leave that branch and you said it's whatever I want to do.

I called you secretary and told her to empty your schedule for our anniversary.  She said she always makes sure it's clear.  I called you and told you that you had to come home early that day.  I told you our marriage depends on you not forgetting and coming home. You thought it was joke.  You laughed and promised.  I hoped you would really make it.  I even cooked all of your favorite food.  

I sat there and waited.  The dinner table was set for two candles an everything.  The food sat untouched but the alcohol much like our marriage was done.  I got up that morning and placed the signed document on the table with the now cold food. On top of it I placed my cellphone, the joint credit and bank cards, the keys to the house and my wedding rings.  I walked out the doors with my bag packed and a ticket to a new life.