When a man’s in love, he wants to stay by your side

There’s always so much he wants to do for you

When I’m in love, I want to give everything in my life to you

With just one expectation, your heart

When I’m in love

Jimin was sitting on his bed playing with his phone when someone slowly knocked on the door and then opened it. Jimin lifted his gaze and flashed a bright smile at the person who entered the room, Yoongi.

“Hey, hyung!”

Yoongi smiled at him as he made his way through the small room to sit on Jimin’s bed. He looked a bit nervous, Jimin thought as he put his phone aside and focused completely on Yoongi. The older boy was fidgeting with his hands, not looking at Jimin.

“You okay?” Jimin asked worried. Yoongi wasn’t really the type to get nervous.

“Yea.. I just.. uhm, need your help”, Yoongi said. Jimin’s eyes widened in surprise, and an excited smile lightened up his face. He loved helping Yoongi, even though the rapper rarely asked help (which is why Jimin had to often offer it himself even when Yoongi didn’t want it). Jimin couldn’t actually recall the last time Yoongi had asked for his help.

“I’ll do anything, hyung!” Jimin beamed, making Yoongi blush a little and turn his head away from Jimin’s shining smile. When Yoongi didn’t say anything for a while, Jimin continued: “So what it is that you need help with?”

That made Yoongi blush even more. He cleared his throat nervously. “Love song.”

“..Huh?”

“I need your help to write a love song.”

Jimin blinked few times, confused. “But you’re better lyricist than I am.. Why would you need my help?”

“So you won’t help?” Yoongi asked instead of answering, his tone telling that he had expected that. Jimin quickly shook his head, shocked that Yoongi could even think something like that of him.

“Of course I’ll help! But I honestly don’t know how much of a help I am”, he said. Yoongi just shrugged and stood up.

“Let’s go then.”

Jimin happily complied.

*********

“So,” Yoongi said as they had arrived to the studio. He had opened the computer and played a rough sketch of the song he had been working on lately. It was slowish, soulful piece, and Jimin liked it a lot. Yoongi had coughed embarrassed when he had said it aloud. “I’ve been trying to come up with fitting lyrics for this for a long while now. I got the basics done, but it seems to lack.. emotion. I’ve never been in love with anyone so I don’t know how to properly describe the feeling. And that’s where I need your help.”

“You’ve never been in love?!” Jimin exclaimed, making Yoongi groan loudly.

“That’s not the point!” he almost whined. He knew it had been a bad idea to ask for Jimin’s help, but he couldn’t back down now. The song needed to be finished, and for some reason he felt like only Jimin could help him. “Please, Jiminnie, I really need your help.”

Yoongi hated how pathetic he sounded.

“Sorry, hyung”, Jimin said, patting his hand gently. Yoongi fought the urge to jerk his arm away when Jimin’s fingers lingered there a second too long. “Just tell me what I can do.”

“Uhh… well, just describe.. like how does it feel? To be in love?” the older boy asked, careful not to look at Jimin. Instead he focused his eyes on the paper in front of him and started writing while listening to Jimin’s soft voice.

“When I’m in love, I feel happy, but at the same time sad. I guess it depends on if the person you love, loves you.” Yoongi silently said no, and Jimin nodded and continued: “Then it’s painful. You want to stay by the person’s side as much as possible, but you can’t really show your feelings. It’s hard. Whenever they look at me, I blush and feel all warm in my tummy. They make me laugh for no reason, and when I make them laugh, it’s… heaven. Oh god, that sounds like something Namjoon-hyung would say! What I mean, is..”

Jimin was rambling now, and the uncomfortable feeling inside Yoongi grew by every word that passed Jimin’s lips.

“That’s not love,” Yoongi suddenly stopped Jimin. Jimin looked genuinely shocked.

“It is!” he whined loudly.

“It can’t be..” Yoongi muttered under his breath so silently Jimin could barely hear it. Then, louder, he said: “Nevermind. Continue.”

Jimin looked at the rapper very confused, but shrugged it off as one of Yoongi’s many, many weirdnesses.

As Jimin continued, Yoongi only half-heartedly scribbled words to the notebook. He was still sure that what Jimin was describing couldn’t be love. Because everything he had said, hit so close to home for Yoongi. Didn’t he blush and feel weirdly warm inside when Jimin touched him? Didn’t he seek out Jimin’s presence when he was feeling down?

Yoongi grabbed the pen tighter, so tight his knuckles turned white. I see him as my friend, brother, nothing more. It’s not love, Jimin is lying, he repeated in his head like a mantra.

“...and I can never feel complete unless I’m with h- yah, hyung, are you even listening?” Jimin’s sudden loud voice brought Yoongi back to the studio.

“I, uh, yea, of course”, Yoongi stammered.

“Well, you’re not writing”, Jimin stated matter-of-factly. Yoongi looked at the paper. There was few lines of words on it, nothing more. Sighing deeply, Yoongi banged his head on the table, laying there powerless.

“It’s useless. I’m never finishing this.”

“Was I that bad?” Jimin asked, sounding a bit apologetic. Yoongi felt a stab in his heart, and he turned his head to look at Jimin.

“No,” he muttered. Jimin looked so good. His eyes were gentle when they looked at Yoongi, and his lips were curved a little downwards. Yoongi wanted him to smile. “It’s not your fault. It’s me. So don’t be sad, please.” Jimin smiled softly, making Yoongi’s heart flutter. He stopped denying everything for a moment, for the first time ever just enjoying the effect the younger boy has on him.

Yoongi thinks he has always known he loved Jimin, he just didn’t want to admit it. In his opinion love made people weak, but when Yoongi really thought about it, Jimin had actually made him a little bit better person. He smiled and laughed more, he was less snappy and overall, just more happier.

But the cruel, cold truth was, none of that mattered, it didn’t change the fact that Jimin would never love him. And that hurt Yoongi more than he would ever admit. Jimin made him feel warm and happy when they were together, but he always felt a dull pain throb in his heart whenever he heard Jimin laugh with Hoseok or Taehyung or anyone else - it made him horribly aware of the fact that Jimin’s giggles, grins and looks weren’t only for him.

Yoongi always pushed those thoughts away so well that he forgot he was in love with Jimin at all. Being in love was dangerous, and Yoongi wanted nothing to do with it.

And now Jimin had reminded him of it all, and Yoongi felt like he was drowning in feelings as he stared at Jimin’s sparkling eyes. He was saying something but Yoongi was too deep in thoughts to hear it. The younger guy pouted when the rapper ignored him, and lowered his head near Yoongi’s. Suddenly Yoongi felt his breath hitching. He’s so close..

“Are you okay?” Jimin asked, his voice silent and deeper than usually - or was Yoongi imagining it? He needed to snap out of it - now. Blinking, Yoongi pushed his thoughts away, like he had always done, sealing them in the imaginary box he would never open again.

“Yea, I am,” Yoongi huffed. His voice sounded normal. Good. “Anyways, thanks for the help, I appreciate it. You gave me a lot to work on.”

“No problem!” Jimin said and he was back to his happy self again, leaning back on his chair, away from Yoongi who felt relieved and totally not sad at all. “I’m super hungry! Wanna get something to eat, hyung?”

Yoongi shook his head, lifting himself up from the table and taking the pen in his hand again. “Nah, I’m not hungry. You can go now, though, I can do the rest by myself.”

“..Oh. Okay. Well, uhh, see you”, Jimin said and if Yoongi wasn’t so deep in denial he might have heard the clear disappointment in Jimin’s voice. But the rapper was so sure Jimin could never love someone like him, that the possibility of Jimin wanting something more from him too, didn’t even cross his mind.

“See ya, Park Jiminnie.”  

Look carefully – if you feel this, that means he’s fallen for you

If someone gives you a sign like I am right now, then please notice it