It was every 8PM, without fail, I saw the thick lipped kid went out the train and entered our 7-eleven just to buy the cold banana milk. It was always banana milk, nothing else, nothing more.

"2 dollars", I said to him as he already prepared them. And it was also always exactly 2 dollars without fail. How could this preciseness happen every time, I thought? I already prepared my line in case he didn't gave me his usual 2 dollars; "Forget to prepare your small change? did you just pull some money from ATM?". Just to start a conversation, you know.

Because damn, I think it was love at first sight. I saw this tall skinny figure from afar, and thought that finally there was my type went into our store. His eyes was brilliant and his lips are other worldly. He kept his style casual but stylish. It was those plaid shirt over simple plain white t-shirt, ripped jeans, and sneakers. But somehow he always pulled it out. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I think it was his proportion that makes everything worked. He usually wore mask that hanging below his jaw, covered some apparent acnes. He probably traveled far and got lazy to wash up when he got home, so I kinda forgive it. You can definitely treat acnes, really... it wasn't that bad. He just has the most beautiful face out there.

It was on the fifth night that I decided to allow myself to fall in love with him. I saw him went out the train helping an old lady picking up her baggages, waited for her to get a cab and packed her things up!. I knew that time I picked the right guy to be in love with. Now the problem was how to approach him... or worse, how to see that he won't mind me?. I was soooo and naive about things like this, I never had boyfriend, hung out with any of my kind. I was so closeted it was frustrating. I'm scared about many things.

Like, I'm bored with my life but didn't do anything about it, working at 7-eleven was easy and could provide me with foods so I was fine with it....

Fuh. I blew my bangs out of my head and sighed. No, I'm not fine with my life.
I told my parents I went to Seoul to be a successful idol but no one wanted me in their agency so here I am, serving people and falling in love randomly. I took my TOEFL test a month ago, because I had a plan to study abroad but things get difficult so I should halt everything. Aaaaaargh. My head hurts, really. I will be 22 this November, I should have to know what to do with my life.

I wanna go to study music or acting in the US, but I'm not that talented so I'm hesitating a bit, and I have no one to recommend me, I'm basically screwed. Well.. my teacher back in junior high probably would help, but it means I have to go back to my parents for awhile and tell them lies about my progress for being an idol. That's what I'm scared of.

Anyway, just about a week ago I learned that the thick lipped kid's name was Ahn Daniel. I overheard him spell his name on the phone for something, it seemed like he confirmed his name for payment. Not long after, I learned that he was a singer... A SINGER. HOW PERFECT. he wa