“…but I really like you. Not as best friends, but something more than that. I…I think I have fallen in love with you Chanyeol…”

It takes Chanyeol a couple seconds to process Kyungsoo’s words. He knows Kyungsoo isn’t messing around because Kyungsoo’s serious face tells him that. Chanyeol thinks of the best option and laughs while pulling his hand away from Kyungsoo. “Ha ha very funny Soo.”

“I’m not joking around Chanyeol. I have never been more serious in my life. You do everything for me and we know so much about each other. I can’t help but fall in love with you more and more each day. You put up with me even though I’m super quiet. You never gave up on me. I-”

“Stop it Kyungsoo. You’re being selfish.”

Chanyeol doesn’t mean it for the words to come out so harsh because Kyungsoo’s retreating face tells him that he messed up. But Kyungsoo should know that South Korea is conservative. If Kyungsoo comes out as homoual, it could ruin his life from backlash. The public takes these things very seriously and Chanyeol really wants Kyungsoo to not get into trouble. This is his whole career he is putting on the line.

“Soo, you’re my best friend and I’m looking out for you.”

It was obvious that Kyungsoo’s face was super upset. He turns towards the window and looks outside so he can avoid Chanyeol. It was obvious because it was dark- there are no clouds to look at. Chanyeol feels guilty when he hears Kyungsoo sniffles when everyone on the plane was sleeping.

He wanted to reach out, hug Kyungsoo and tell him it’s going to be alright, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Is he becoming afraid because Kyungsoo loved him?

-----

The tension between the two of them was obvious to the point where Sehun talked to Jongin about it. The dense members within the group were catching on. “I mean they room in with you. You have to know what’s wrong with those two.” Sehun whispers to Jongin while they were watching a movie. Everyone else was in their room or playing games.

“I don’t know. I just know Chanyeol hyung doesn’t go Kyungsoo yahhh a million times anymore. If they do talk, Chanyeol asks a question and Kyungsoo hyung respond with a one-word reply. It’s strange because Chanyeol is more talkative with the other members and not Kyungsoo hyung. Even though he claims he and Kyungsoo hyung are soulmates.”

“People are pointing out how cold Soo hyung looks these days” Sehun sighs as he shifts on the sofa. “Also- I don’t know if I can say it”

“Say it”

Sehun whispers in Jongin’s ears, “some fans are speculating that Soo hyung is gay…”

“What the hell…? Why?”

“I don’t know. I read it online. People were bringing up proofs and a lot of people were against it. Some were defending hyung being straight; while others said Soo hyung is gay because of his actions. A gay fanboy said that he’s 100% sure hyung is gay.”

“Oh my god. That’s crazy! We are all straight guys who do fanservice. I can’t believe they are picking on hyung like this.”

Sehun shrugs his shoulder as he plays with his finger. “I mean it’s not like any of us can come out. We would be treated differently…”

Jongin knows that Exo would face more dramas if a member were gay. It would probably be as big as a member leaving the group. South Korea public would not leave the member alone. Some gays get beaten up till death because of ignorance people. When Jongin was going to say something, he felt Kyungsoo leaning over his shoulder, “dinner’s up. Come on Jongin, Sehun”

“N…Ne” Sehun gets up and follows his small hyung.

Dinner is normal because they were always screaming and making fun of each other while Junmyeon tries to stop them. He really felt like a single father taking care of all these kids. The craziest is of course the beagle line- Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Jongdae.

“Did you guys hear my voice crack today?” Baekhyun stuffs kimchi into his mouth, “I swear aliens could probably hear that.”

Yixing pats Baekhyun on the shoulder and smiles, “it’s ok. You did amazing.”

“Better than me always tripping or injuring myself on stage” Tao sighs but Junmyeon hugs him. They were good when it comes to comforting each other, but also the best when it comes to trash talking.

“I think stylist should keep us away from tight pants though. Jongin’s and Sehun’s is always big news.” Baekhyun laughs loudly making Sehun and Jongin give him dirty glares.

“Baekhyun please be appropriate at dinner” Junmyeon warns but of course no one listens. Who is scared of Junmyeon anyways?

“Oh yeah Soo, I heard you got a new movie offer” Junmyeon points out making Kyungsoo almost choke on his food.

“Congratulations hyung! You’re the best!” Sehun grins, “here have my kimchi”

“T…Thank you”

“How did you get an offer with Director Choi though? I heard he’s so picky on idol actors and actresses. You are getting so much recognition, I’m proud of you” Minseok compliments. They may always have bad news on the Internet but Kyungsoo always brings in positive light to the group.

“I met with him after the drama filming. H…He liked me so he asked me to be in one of his newest movie. Then he spoke with our CEO Kim Youngmin and he said it’s a good idea because Director Choi is the best…”

“What’s the movie about hyung?” Tao asks while he and Sehun were fighting over the meat on the table.

“It’s a love story. H…He told me there’s a bed scene but I…I don’t know”

“And you accepted that offer?” Chanyeol speaks out of nowhere making the whole table stare at him. “He probably just wanted you to shoot the bed scene to see you . Don’t be so naïve Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo puts his chopstick down and stands up from his chair. He walks straight to his room and the dinner table becomes quiet. “Go apologize Chanyeol” Junmyeon finally says, “Soo works hard. It’s bad to accuse him of getting the role because of the director. Besides, Soo is straight.”

Chanyeol grumbles with his meal as he gets up from his seat and follows Kyungsoo to their shared bedroom. They were roommates after all. When he gets inside, he sees Kyungsoo on his bed looking at his phone. “Hey Soo, look about what I just said, I’m sorry. I was just looking out for you. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Seeing that Kyungsoo was ignoring him like always, Chanyeol got on the bed and sit beside Kyungsoo, “you look skinnier these days. Are you not eating well?”

It wasn’t rare for Chanyeol to be annoying but it was rare that Chanyeol is doing this when they were awkward since Kyungsoo’s confession. “Stop acting like you care about me. Just stop it.”

“Why can’t I care about you? I’ve been telling you that you’re my best friend Soo. I can’t just drop you because you-you decide to come out!”

“Does it make me gross to you? Is that why you don’t touch me anymore? Is it Chanyeol? Because I actually fell for you?!” tears were falling out of Kyungsoo’s eyes, “you tell me that you’re my friend but you can’t even man up and reject me. You tell me I’m being selfish. Why? Because of the group? What if for once I want to be selfish and put myself first and not care about what others think of me? Do you know how hard it is to sing every love songs to our fans when all I think about is you!”

Kyungsoo continues through a crack voice, “it hurts Chanyeol. It hurts so much. I take up so many acting roles so I don’t have to see you often, because every time I see your face, I start to fall for you again.”

“Then stop it. Do everything you can to stop those feelings for me because they will not be returned.” Chanyeol gets up from the bed, he turns to the door and closes his eyes knowing this is the best for them- they will have no future if he accepts Kyungsoo. He has to do something to save this group from falling apart even more.

“Can you please give me a chance Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo pleads, “I swear I will try hard to keep our relationship a secret. I won’t pressure you about anything. I’ll take care of you. I just want to know what it feels to be loved by someone.”

“I can’t love you back Kyungsoo. I can’t force myself to love you that way because I love someone else.”

“W…Who?”

“Someone that you cannot compete with. Someone I think that’s better than you in every single way.” It was harsh but it’s the only way that Chanyeol can destroy every inkling of feelings that Kyungsoo had left for him.

When Kyungsoo looks up, Chanyeol already left the room. More tears rushes from Kyungsoo’s eyes as he muffles his cries into his blanket. He remembers a quote that kept him going with his feelings.

“I’m 99.9% sure he doesn’t like me. But it’s the .1% that keeps me going.”

Well Chanyeol just destroyed that last .1%.