Sometimes, memories about us can be too suffocating.

(HunHan)

There are a lot of memories I want to erase.

First is a painful memory about you. When you smiled bitterly at me after I asked if you ever thought of leaving. When I accidentally heard your talk with Minseok about why are we so heartbroken with Yifan’s departure, and Minseok said that “the problem is not because he left us, but because he never shared his feelings with us, as if we never mattered to him.” When I thought that maybe you were just pitying Yifan. When you came into the meeting room with a guilty face. When you left. When you left and didn’t plan to return.

Then what I want to erase is beautiful memory about you, because if there was no beautiful memory then the painful memory won’t be… painful. When you smiled warmly at me after I jumped in joy because I could debut with you. When you held my hand tight and stayed still with me, which what you always did everytime I cried silently because the pressure I felt got too heavy. When you cried because you missed home and I tried so hard to make you smile again. When you said I’m your most favorite person in this world. When I thought I’m meaningful to you. When I thought you’d never leave.

And the last is the memory of our first meeting. Because if we never met then there wouldn’t be any memory of us, beautiful or painful. But what I realized is that –

– we will never be able to erase the memory of something so significant in our life, because the said significant memory had took part in building what we are now.

It means, I will never be able to erase you, Luhan.