Yunho has a scar across his neck when he comes back in June.

 

Yunho tells him he had a hormone imbalance, and he had to have surgery on his throat. Changmin’s just glad he’s okay, but then Yunho breaks down crying.

 

“Changmin—Changmin I can’t sing anymore.”

 

Changmin thinks his world starts crumbling around him. He even begin can’t imagine what Yunho’s feeling. He’s never had a dream—his only ambition in life to be off the streets.

 

He cuddles up next to him on the train station floor and holds Yunho until he stops crying. He has no idea what to say, or if he even should say anything.

 

He knows what this dream has meant to Yunho. He’d given up everything, slept in the cold and worked three different jobs at once, skipping all his holidays to train and finally get a contract, but now… now what was Yunho going to do?”

 

Yunho tries to sing, and it comes out hoarse. It’s not bad, but it’s definitely not what it used to be.

 

Yunho comes back from training one night and slips under the blanket next to Changmin. “Changmin,” he whispers. “Changmin, I think I’m going to quit.”

 

Changmin sits up so fast his neck cracks. “You’re what?”

 

Yunho curls into a ball. “I can’t do it Changmin. I can’t sing. What kind of entertainer can’t sing?”

 

Changmin has no idea what to say.

 

Changmin actually smacks Yunho. “Are you stupid?” he exclaims, frustrated beyond belief. “I can’t believe you’re saying those kinds of things. Listen to me, Jung Yunho. You are the most talented, hard-working, and caring person I have ever met. Ok yeah, I’m not exactly an expert, but your dancing is beautiful. And you know I don’t hand out compliments just because. If you could catch my attention, someone who has no interest in dancing, I’m almost certain that everyone else will go crazy over you. And so what if you can’t sing. Look at half the idols out there, they can’t sing for but they’ve still had fan girls hanging off their arms.”

 

Yunho laughs a tiny bit, and Changmin pulls him up for a hug. “Don’t ever say you’re quitting. Ever. I’ve watched you work too hard to just give it up. If you do, I’ll hunt you down and drag you back to S.M. myself. ”

 

Yunho sniffs and buries his head into the crook of Changmin’s shoulder. With a watery smile he looks up and says, “thank you.”

 

 

 

Yunho finds Changmin three days later, and he’s got this big grin on his face. Changmin thinks it’s the happiest he’s seen him since the throat surgery. He finds himself smiling along, too, without even knowing the reason why.

 

“Changmin. You’re not going to believe this.” He’s laughing and bouncing on the spot.

 

“What? What?” Yunho has Changmin by the shoulders and is forcing him to jump up and down.

 

“I think I might’ve found us somewhere to live!”

 

Changmin’s mouth drops open.

 

“Wait, what?!” Changmin can’t quite believe what he’s hearing.

 

“I know. I know. There’s this little room on top of this dance studio I go to, and the rent’s really cheap and I begged them and they said that yeah, we could live there if we wanted, and with both of us working I’m more than sure we can afford it, and, and even though I have to go home you can stay there while I’m away but we’ll have somewhere—oh my god.”

 

Changmin looks at Yunho blindly for a second then pulls him into a long hug. “Thank you. Thank you.”

 

If he lets a small tear down his cheek, well, neither of them brings it up.

 

 

 

The room is small and square. There’s a single bed pushed up against the wall, and there’s not much room for anything else but a shelf besides the bed and a small wooden table for two that looks like it has seen better days. The carpet’s this really ugly brown colour, and the curtains obnoxiously orange, and there’s barely enough room to walk from one end to the other comfortably, but—

 

Changmin thinks it’s more than perfect.

 

“There’s only one bed. We can either share, or I can sleep on the floor if you’d like,” Yunho offers, pointing at the ratty bed that Changmin’s almost certain is going to squeak horribly.

 

“We’ve been sleeping together for so long,” Changmin shrugs. “We can share.”

 

Yunho coughs and nods. “Yeah. Um. The bathrooms are public, and they’re on the first floor, so. There are showers and toilets and stuff. Uh, there’s a mini fridge in the lobby, but if you put anything in there you’re going to have to be prepared to lose it. Most people don’t really live here long term, so it’s more of a place to sleep than anything, but I hope it’s okay.”

 

Changmin drops his bag on the bed, and he’s right, it does squeak. “It’s great. It really is.” He scratches his nose, embarrassed, but turns to give Yunho a smile.

 

Yunho smiles all teeth and then lets out a small laugh. “Did you know, your eyes do this thing when you smile.”

 

Changmin his head to the side and lifts a hand to his face self-consciously. “What thing?”

 

“Your eyes get all, mismatched.”

 

“Mismatched?”

 

Yunho nods and tries imitating the smile. “Your right eye gets like way more squinted then the left.

 

“It does not,” Changmin responds childishly.

 

Yunho’s laughing and coming closer, and he ruffles Changmin’s hair. Changmin ducks and grumbles, fluffing his hair back into place.

 

“Don’t worry, it’s kind of cute.”

 

Changmin does his very best to smile wide for the rest of the day.

 

 

---

 

 

 

It’s a turbulent time between them. Yunho keeps being put in groups and taken out, and each week there’s a new line up, then someone leaves and he’s left in the dust again. Changmin has to sit through the nights awkwardly and listen to Yunho grumble that he’s never going to debut at this rate, and that if the other’s weren’t committed in the first place, then why did they even join the damned company? Changmin grunts along as he listens, but it’s enough for Yunho who just likes to vent, not exactly expecting any advice from the younger boy.

 

They don’t fight, but they do sometimes get pissed at each other and throw snide comments here and there. They’re always forgiven in moments, though.

 

 

 

They’re watching this sappy love story on the T.V downstairs that’s supposed to be for dance practice videos only, but they both take full advantage of anyway, and Changmin’s just about to fall asleep. Yunho, pushed up next to him, has a pillow in his lap and his bottom lip tucked between his teeth. Changmin stares at his lip then laughs when it wobbles at a sad scene.

 

“You’re pathetic, hyung,” he teases good heartedly.

 

Yunho smacks him with his pillow once before cuddling it twice as hard. “It’s just—it’s just sad. I mean, it’s all over some stupid misunderstanding, and if they could just apologise to each other and admit they were wrong for being jealous, don’t they realize they would be so much happier?”

 

“It’s a drama, hyung. They have to fight. It’s in the rule book or something.”

 

Yunho watches with wide eyes when the two main leads finally start to make up. The male lead had acted out of jealousy and been cold to his girlfriend, and then after a lot of drinking and moping to himself (which Changmin thinks is absolutely ridiculous but Yunho finds, god forbid, endearing), he decides to apologise to his girlfriend. He goes up to her and says, ‘slap me. I deserve it’. The girl holds her arm up and looks ready to hit him, and she tells the male lead to close his eyes. He does, then instead of hitting him, she closes in for a kiss.

 

Changmin is rolling his eyes so far into the back of his head he’s afraid they might disappear.

 

Yunho lets out a long, dreamy sigh. “I want my first kiss to be like that. It’s just so romantic!”

 

Changmin gives him a blank look. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Honestly, Jung Yunho, you are such a sap. I can’t even believe I’m friends with someone like ghjkfkgkjh--!” Yunho shoves his hand over Changmin’s face and then proceeds to sit atop him and pin him to the couch.

 

“Shh, it’s the best bit!”

 

Changmin ends up spending the rest of the ty movie squished into the couch and struggling to breathe.

 

 

---

 

 

 

“But hyung,” Changmin whines. “I don’t want to go.”

 

Changmin’s being forced by Yunho to go to his training room in S.M. Entertainment. Changmin doesn’t want to go, at all, but Yunho was like ‘It’ll be fun!’ and, ‘the food is nice!’. Changmin couldn’t care less if they decorated their jajangmyeon with gold flakes, but Yunho was so insistent that he at least take a look, so Changmin crumbled and agreed. He knew instantly it was a mistake, because as soon as they’d set foot on their way there, Yunho started being all, ‘oh, but you’re going to have to say hi to Leeteuk. Kangin, too. There’s also this guy named Heechul, and he’s kind of terrifying, but he’s… sort of nice once you get to know him’.

 

Changmin just wants to go back to their studio.

 

“Nonsense. You’ll get to meet all my friends at the company and see where I get to spend all my time.”

 

Changmin huffs and grumbles, stomping his way behind Yunho, being dragged forward by Yunho’s grip on his wrist. “You know I don’t like meeting new people.”

 

“And you know that’s not a healthy attitude to have.”

 

Changmin tries to yank his hand back, but Yunho’s grip is firm and he doesn’t let him budge. “Just because you’re a social butterfly and can charm everyone around you, doesn’t mean I’m like that. I just don’t like people, hyung. Why is that so hard to understand?”

 

Yunho sighs. “Because you need people. You need friends.”

 

“I have you.”

 

Yunho doesn’t say anything for a moment. “Well. Yes. But... Sometimes you need other people, too. Come on, you can just say hello then leave, I promise. I won’t make you stay, but at least just introduce yourself. I keep telling all my friends about you and they already like you, so. Don’t worry about it so much.”

 

“Oh, don’t worry Changmin, Yunho’s just going to throw you into the lion den.”

 

Yunho tightens his grip. “They’re nice people. And you have to be nice back. Just—I don’t know, just wave and say ‘hi my name’s Changmin and I’m fourteen years old. It’s nice to meet you’ or something like that. If it makes you feel better, I’ll make all the conversation.”

 

Changmin eyes him warily. “You better. And don’t you dare leave me alone. If you do, I won’t let you sleep on the bed for a week. And I won’t cook for you.”

 

“Deal.”

 

“Deal.”

 

The building is rather square and grey, but there’s this massive gold star tacked on the front under a sign saying ‘S.M. ENTERTAINMENT’, like someone realised that it was really ugly and tried to find a quick solution.

 

It didn’t work at all, Changmin thinks.

 

Scattered groups of teenage girls mingle around the entrance, trying to play it cool and look like they’re just hanging around, but it’s so plainly obvious they’re waiting for their favourite idol to arrive. Changmin snorts. The girls eye them up and down as they enter, whispering to each other and pointing. All eyes are on Yunho, as Changmin expects.

 

The guard eyes him up and down and reaches for something under his desk. He almost punches a little sticker onto the front of Changmin’s chest, and Changmin loses his breath for a second. It says ‘GUEST’ in bold letters, and it’s so shiny and ugly that Changmin would rip it off if he didn’t want to get kicked out.

 

On second thought, Changmin thinks it might not be a bad idea…

 

Changmin’s walking with Yunho by his side in the lobby when some tall lady with peaked glasses and a pinched expression catches him by the wrist.

 

Changmin blinks. He doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong. At least not yet. “Um. Yes?”

 

“What’s your name?” she asks, and her voice is hoarse like she’s been smoking one too many cigarettes.

 

“Shim Changmin. I’m fourteen years old,” he tacks on for good measure, because Yunho had said that was a good place to start conversations.

 

Suddenly, she’s got a hold of his wrist and is dragging him towards and elevator and saying all these things about contracts and higher ups and complicated legal words that Changmin has no grasp of. He looks over his shoulder and mouths ‘help’, but Yunho just gives a little shrug and waves.

 

‘I won’t leave you alone’ he’d said. ‘The people are nice’ he’d said.

 

Yunho wasn’t getting any dinner for one—no, two weeks.

 

He could cook for his damned self.

 

Before he can really even comprehend what’s happening, Changmin’s in an office and being given a business card and the scary lady is telling him that he just has to come audition for them some time next week when he’s free, and she’ll show him around the building and set up an appointment for him.

 

It’s all very confusing.

 

Changmin’s not even quite sure he knows what’s just happened.

 

She shoos him back to the lobby, and Yunho’s sitting on a green plastic chair looking kind of put out.

 

“What was that about?” he says, nodding his head at the elevator.

 

Changmin scratches his stomach and scrunches up his face. “Uh. I think they want me to audition as a trainee?”

 

Changmin’s sure Yunho’s jaw is going to hit the floor with how violently it snaps open, and how low it hangs.

 

“They what?!”

 

Changmin shrugs. “I don’t know either, but apparently I have to come back here for an audition or something.”

 

Yunho’s eyes are almost bulging out of his head. “They asked you for a private audition? Just from seeing your face?”

 

Changmin shrugs again. It’s pretty much the only emotion he can think to muster regarding this situation, because he’s still not exactly sure where, why, or what went on.

 

“That’s… well, good for you.” Yunho doesn’t look particularly happy, and Changmin feels guilty without even knowing why.

 

“I’m… going back to the apartment,” Changmin says, scratching his neck.

 

“Yeah. See you when I’m home.”

 

Yunho shuffles off, dragging his feet on the floor, and Changmin feels like the biggest on the planet for reasons he can’t explain.

 

 

 

When Yunho gets home, he doesn’t ignore Changmin, per say, but he doesn’t exactly acknowledge him either. He sort of grunts when he sees the younger and then plops down on the bed, pulling out a novel from under it and facing towards the wall. It’s probably about the biggest brush off Yunho is capable of giving.

 

Changmin feels awful, because he knows it has something to do with him being asked to audition, but he can’t exactly pinpoint what, because it wasn’t like he asked to be auditioned. They just dragged him off against his will and gave him some card.

 

If this is how Yunho’s going to react, Changmin thinks he doesn’t even want to audition in the first place. He thinks, maybe Yunho doesn’t want him invading his place. That was just Yunho’s thing, and maybe he just didn’t want Changmin to walk the same route.

 

It makes him frustrated just thinking about it.

 

He decides he won’tgive up on something just because Yunho’s being a sourpuss about it. No. He won’t. Even if he’s not exactly interested in the high life filled with glitter and sparkles, he kind of wants to audition now just to prove a point. Just to rub it in. Because if Yunho’s going to be all childish just because Changmin might be talented, too, then he’ll be childish right back.

 

He cooks himself a simple dinner and wolfs it down. Yunho doesn’t ask for any and instead eats two slices of bread, not even toasted, and hides under the covers, pretending to sleep.

 

Changmin knows he’s pretending, because Yunho snores like a ing pig.

 

He rolls his eyes and climbs into bed. Yunho is facing away from him, so Changmin does the same.

 

Changmin thinks this might be their first official fight.

 

 

 

It lasts for a week, and reality sets in for Changmin how much he needs Yunho. It scares him in the slightest, because he knows what it’s like to rely on someone then have them leave you. He wants to think that Yunho wouldn’t do that, but he also liked to think his parents wouldn’t have kicked him out and yet, here he is. Changmin is antisocial by nature, and the trait was further exacerbated by the time he spent on the streets, and now he’s antisocial and horribly wary of the people around him. He sends dirty looks to everyone that tries to come near him and succeeds in driving almost everyone away.

 

He feels kind of bad about it, because he’s almost certain they’re just trying to be friendly to a new trainee, but he can’t help but keep his defences up. He needs Yunho to tell him if they’re okay—he needs Yunho to introduce them and break the ice so he can actually feel comfortable around people.

 

The training in itself is hard, and being an outcast in a group of tight knit people, some of whom who have been here for years, makes it all that much harder. He can’t dance for , and when the dance instructor scoffs at him, he wishes Yunho was at his side to defend him and take him to the side and show him how it’s meant to be done. Yunho was in a different class, anyway, but the sentiment is there. Changmin wants to go home and ask Yunho to help him figure out the moves, but since they’re not talking, that’s totally out of the equation.

 

But Yunho’s ignoring him, and he doesn’t even fully understand why. He decides that tonight when he gets home and before Yunho rushes off to his waiter job, he’ll confront him and ask what the hell is going on between them.

 

Changmin goes home ahead of Yunho and waits on their bed, nibbling on his already short nails, just kind of staring at the door and mentally preparing himself for the confrontation. Yunho comes back twenty minutes later than him, sweat beading at his forehead, and as soon as he sees Changmin he yells, “CHANGMIN, I’M SO SORRY!”

 

Changmin winces at the volume.

 

Yunho charges up to him like a bull targeting a red flag and yanks him off the bed. He grabs his shoulders and looks into his eyes, and it all feels very dramatic. He can’t even get a word in edgeways before Yunho’s rolling into a spiel about how sorry he is.

 

“Changmin! I’m so, so sorry, it’s just that I was so frustrated, and it wasn’t even at you specifically, it’s just that I’ve waited so long to become a trainee and they just take one look at you and you’re scouted, and I mean, it’s fair enough because just look at you! But I was being so bitter and horrible about it all, and I was so immature to ignore you over something so pretty like being jealous of you over this, and I’m such an idiot and I just hope you can forgive me for being so stupid and jealous and idiotic—I think I’m repeating myself, but just please forgive me!”

 

Changmin blinks a few times, trying to keep up with his rapid speech, and before he can even form a reply and say its fine, Yunho take a step back and drops his arms.

 

“Hit me.”

 

“Um,” Changmin says.

 

“Hit me if it’ll make you feel better. I won’t hold it against you, just—tell me when you’re about to do it.”

 

Changmin is reminded of the movie they watched just a few days ago, very clearly.“Okay, I’m gonna hit you now then.”

 

Yunho closes his eyes so hard they scrunch.

 

Changmin reels his first back and takes a step closer.

 

His heart’s pounding in his chest at a million miles an hour, because he’s not sure, he’s not sure he should do this, but he’s already so close and Yunho’s face is just there. Changmin swallows down his nerves and then takes a deep breath.

 

He punches Yunho so hard that the older man stumbles back a few steps. He holds his cheek with both hands and stares at him with wide eyes, looking awfully betrayed. “You—you actually hit me!”

 

Changmin just stares. “But you told me to!”

 

Yunho’s lip wobbles. “I thought you were gonna give me a hug!”

 

Changmin looks from his red knuckles to the bruise forming fast on Yunho’s face and feels a tiny, tiny bit bad about it. “Um, oops?”

 

Yunho looks like he’s either going to laugh or cry, and Changmin breaths a long sigh of relief when he bursts out into laughter. Changmin follows along and Yunho ends up pulling him into a big hug. Changmin stiffens, because he hasn’t been hugged like this in almost a year, but it feels so good that soon he’s melting into it, despite his aversion to being touched.

 

Yunho pulls back and smiles big. “Sorry for being an .”

 

Changmin shrugs. “It’s fine. Go get ready for work. I’ll pack you some dinner.”

 

The smile Yunho shoots him gets etched into his heart for years afterwards.