The door creaked slowly as I tip toed inside. My apartment had looked fine, not a single decorations or mugs were misplaced. I stared at the sink, expecting it to be completely disgusting but then, there was nothing in it. In fact, it was clean. Clearing my throat, I dropped my luggage near the pantry and sat down. Changjo did a great job in taking care of the house and the fact that he could have spent all his time at the studio would’ve helped too.

“Jonghyun?” I called. But it was five in the morning so obviously, he would be all curled up in our bed.

I walked into our bedroom, admiring how tidy it was as I made way to the bed. I completely right, this kid was all curled up in our blanket snoring what was left of the night. His hair all ruffled up and his pink, full lips looked swollen. Still nothing brought me as much happiness as this sight. I ran my hand down his puffy cheeks, fixing his disastrous bed hair and caressed his brow which was so pretty. It was short, a bit sparse but thick too, simply lovely to my eyes. A smile grew on my face as I see him pulling the covers up to his nose, all sulked up with the disturbance. “Sara-ya… 5 mins…” he mumbled, turning around.

I left the room and heat up the pan, I was sure that he would be pleased to see breakfast all prepare the moment he wakes up. I threw in the strawberries into the pan, completing my ready-to-eat jam.

I hummed as I watched them char; the feeling of being home was undeniably sweet. How this house smelled like me and Changjo, how everything was in place and how my boyfriend was still sleeping in our room, innocently unaware that I was back felt all too comfortable. I missed this too much indeed. Just as I was about to throw in some salt, I felt Changjo sneaking up and wrapping himself around me from behind. “Morning.” I greeted as I held his hands around my waist.

“Mmmh” he mumbled on my shoulders, pecking it with his lips as he held me tighter. He was barely awake but I guess he wanted me close. “Jonghyun-ah, brown sugar or usual?” I asked, holding up the two jars of sugars. He grumbled something and pointed at the brown sugar, then immediately digging his face on the nape of my neck, tickling me. “Aha! Yah, go back to bed if you’re still sleepy.” I whined, pulling his arms away, only to make him hug me way tighter. “Okay okay, just don’t tickle me okay?”

He nodded as he rested his face on my shoulders. “I missed you.” I whispered. “I missed you Choi JongHyun” I said it once more, like a charm repeating it to him again and again. He nodded each time too, and I felt him smiling.

We stood there like that, all cuddled up for about ten to fifteen minutes. I stirred the pan, plated the pancakes and mixed the juice, carrying this huge man on my back. Changjo would just lean on my shoulders as he watched me make the table with a smile on his face. At times, I would ask him if he would let go now, but all he did was mumble on my shoulders and held on tighter. The delayed jetlag was quickly catching up and in minutes, I was getting exhausted. “Jonghyun-ah….” I whined, hoping that he would let go. He nodded and finally, letting me free from his arms. I quickly made way to the couch and laid there, too tired to even open my eyes.

“Sara-ya, you asleep?” Changjo asked with his hoarse voice still unrecovered from the early hours. Then I felt his fingers, resting gently on my forehead and slowly, very carefully running down my cheeks until my chin. He cupped my face with his warm hands and spoke. “Sleep well. Sorry I held on too long, it’s just….”

His thumb trembled on my skin. “I think I missed you too much.” My lips curled up, making him smile wide the moment he noticed. “You missed me too.” he said.

It was about an hour later that I woke up, realizing that Changjo was sleeping on the edge of the cushion, holding my hand close to his face. I curled closer to his face and stared at this handsome man for the longest time, relishing every tiny detail on his face. And then I titled up, trying to see if he ate the pancakes, and there it was the plates all cleared up. He even washed the dishes and made some hot tea.

After a while I sat up and the television, swapping through the many channels trying to find something interesting. That was when I heard a very familiar voice, one I switched over too fast to see who it was. “Could it be…” I turned the channel back and there he was, Kang Seo Jun. He was in a family drama, acting as a young entrepreneur who fell for the girl next door. Very cliché. But he does look a bit different, that twinkle in his eyes seemed sharper, stronger in this version of him. He pulled on the female actress, slamming his lips on her mercilessly and said that he loved her.

He was completely different from what I knew. The Seo Jun I knew had this gentleness in the way he spoke and act, everything felt comforting. But this character his acting was the opposite, all I saw was guts and passion.

“Wow, he’s different.” I mumbled, getting immersed in his character. “Uhm? Who’s that?" Changjo stood up and sat beside me, still half awake.

“I don’t know. An actor I guess.” I lied. “Uh! Ha, he looks like me. don’t cha think?” he laughed, nudging me as he pointed at the flat screen. I nodded, trying to change the channel. “What are you doing, let just watch this. Its fun!” Changjo excitedly took the remote from my hand and so at his demand, we watched his doppelganger acting all romantic on tv. At times Changjo would shrug, maybe finding the similarity too extreme and probably just scared that I would get offended seeing someone that looked so much like him with another, considerably hotter woman.

“Aha, lets watch something else.” he whined, an excuse to take away my attention. “No. let’s just stick to this, it’s interesting.” My tone sounded way too strained. Taken aback, he nodded and leaned back to let me have my way. “Why are you sticking to this drama, it boring honey” he whined again, quite sincerely this time.

“Because I’m a fan.” I confessed, still not looking away from the screen. “Of me?” Changjo asked, resting his arm on my shoulder and looking at my face. “Would you like a signature?” he joked. I answered that it was not funny, even when he really did make me smile like a fool. “Why do you like him Sara?” this questing made me choke with surprise, it sounded too dangerous to be honest. “He’s handsome.” I answered emotionless, still watching the drama and keeping safe of all my thoughts.

“But he’s not good at acting. He’s so rough on her you know, and he’s not that type of person.” It was not safe at all. ChangJo gave me the look, making me shrug it off too immediately. He ignored it, thankfully not suspecting anything. It wasn’t like I made a mistake too.

Later that night I was putting on my lipstick and brushing my hair. I made sure that I looked presentable since we were about to attend to a very formal party with some other idols that he knew. I got up and turned around, checking myself on the mirror in case of any flaws. Gladly, I look alright. The red dress Changjo bought for me looked great and this matching heels that I wore matched perfectly too. I took deep breath and walked out.

“Hi.” Changjo greeted me with this handsome, dreamy smirk. That moment, though I’m sure that everything else was moving normally, even the speed of my steps, I felt I was in a slow motion effects, like the ones in the movie. 

“Changjo.” I called his name, still in this trance. I watch as his strong arms naturally wrap around my waist and pulled me back to his solid, well-built body. Changjo looked breathtaking and somehow, it was love at first sight all over again. With his dark hair all slicked back and his eyebrows groomed to perfection up to the way the suit had matched him so well, left me breathless. I could barely say a word as he escorted me to his car with his hands still hanging lightly on my waist. When I got in, he stared at me and whispered that the dress look beautiful on me. Kissing me so gently, so confidently afterwards, leaving me pleading for air. The way his lips peeled off completely unwavered and how his eyes were brooding with passion made me realize that every day is a chance for me to fall for him completely. And that he is aware of it.

I cleared my throat and took a few minutes to calm down.  We made it to the hall and he was still holding on to me, warmly calming me with his smile and comforting words. Little that he knew, he was the very reason of my nerves. There was a lot people and many that he knew, so he had to leave me behind momentarily.

I couldn’t let him go but, I couldn’t stop him either. So I stood in the crowd, allowing this annoyance hinder me while I talked with the other guests, trying to look like I was fine. I would steal long peeks at Changjo and sometimes, get caught for it too making me more embarrassed than I already I was. I sipped the light champagne and tried to look away, distracting myself as I stared into spaces. I sipped the champagne, judging it while waving at some of the faces that knew me, being totally uninterested.  Then, I heard someone calling my name, and that deep, husky voice definitely did not belong to Changjo. I looked around until a very familiar face startled me enough to make me drop my purse. Kang Seojun was standing in a corner, staring deep into my eyes as he gave me a daunting, very mischievous wink. I was speechless but amused nevertheless. It was like a miracle; there he was my little escape that I thought I could never see again.

But like the passing seasons, there he was. Somewhere hidden as he teases me and calls me for another adventure. I looked Changjo and realized, no.

As tantalizing this doppelganger was I couldn’t do it again. I wouldn’t.

Wouldn’t I?