“Heechul-ah, we’ll be together forever, you know…”

           Heechul came in the pink room and sat down on the bed, staring at the crib. There was a small thing in it, breathing slowly and looking at him through the bars. He sighed and got closer, when he heard a small cry. “Kyung Hee-ah, don’t cry. Daddy is here.” he whispered as he carresed the baby’s cheek. The little girl stopped crying and glanced up at her father, with her big eyes. “Ah, you’re just like him. The two human beings that listen to what I say.” he said chuckling darkly.

“Don’t cry! It hurts me more when I see you like this.”

           “Daddy! Look what mommy gave me!” the girl shouted, coming into the studio. Heechul smiled and turned around, staring down at the Chinese doll in his daughter’s arms. He gulped, trying to hold back his tears, but he couldn’t. For the first time since he left, Heechul showed his tears to someone else. “Why are you crying?” the four year old said, her eyes glimmering with sadness. “Daddy, don’t cry. Kyung Hee will be upset too.” she continued, her lower lip trembling as tears gathered in her eyes. “Ah, sorry, baby. Daddy is just happy that his daughter is smiling.” Heechul replied and hugged her, another lie slipping off his tongue. “You’re so much like him…” he whispered.

“Are you hungry? Just stay in bed and rest. I’ll make you some fried rice.”

           He looked down at the paper that was laying on his desk and sighed. It was almost midnight and he couldn’t write anything. Kyuhyun has asked him for help, wanting to surprise Victoria. He wanted a love song, but every single one that Heechul had written so far, were all with heartbreaking lyrics about separation. “So it has gone this far. Now you’re affecting my work too.” he sighed leaning against the back of the chair, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples. “Daddy!” Kyung Hee whispered looking at him from the half opened door. Heechul smiled “What is it, angel? Why aren’t you sleeping?”. “I was worried about you. You’ve been working since you woke up and haven’t eaten anything. Shall I bring you something?” she asked, worry clear on her small beautiful face. “Come here.” he replied signaling for her to come closer. He brushed the hair out of her big brown eyes and smiled “Daddy is okay. Don’t worry.”. He kissed her forehead and sighed, looking into her innocent playful eyes. “Why do you two keep worrying about me? I’m not a kid anymo…” he started, but stopped when he realized what he was saying. Kyung Hee frowned, waiting for him to continue. “Nevermind. Nothing important.”.

“I will look for you, when I come back to Korea. It’s a promise.”

           Heechul walked down the street, smiling down at his phone. Her daughter just got her driver’s license. “They said I’m so calm and relaxed while driving, like I’ve been doing this for years!” the message read. “Oh, you’re not the only one, baby. He was too…” he whispered and entered the park, the place that once was their place. It was autumn, the season Heechul hated the most. So many things disappeared during it: trees died, animals hibernated and Hankyung, no, Han Geng, left him.

           He was looking down at his feet, while walking slowly and thinking about him, when he felt a familiar perfume. His head shot up and he bit his lip. “You haven’t changed a bit.” he whispered and got closer to the younger. Hankyung turned around and smiled brightly at Heechul “Glad to see you again, Chul.”. “You’ve kept your word.” the older spoke almost whispered. “I know. I missed you too.” the Chinese man replied. “I’ve heard you’re married.” Heechul stated when there was only one metre between them and after years of not seeing each other, that felt like burning prints on his heart. “You are too. Kyung Hee is a beautiful and talented girl, just like her father.” Hankyung responded.

           Heechul smiled bitterly, sadness reaching to him again. The love of his life was so close, but he still felt like Hankyung was too far away for him to touch. Heechul’s phone rang and his smile faded slightly, leaving behind a trace of heartbreak. “I guess this is goodbye?” Hankyung asked. Heechul looked at him and turned around trying to hide the tears “Yeah….I guess it is.”. “If you want it to be…” he thought biting his lip. He heard the other’s footsteps fading slowly and he quickly turned around, hoping to be able not to let go of that hand, but it was too late. Their second “goodbye”. The hand he held until now disappeared and wasn’t going to come back. Heechul whispered to himself “Liar…”, the song on the phone still playing:

*I’m so sorry, but I love you da gojimal, iya mullaseo, ijeya arasseo; niga piryohae.

I’m so sorry, but I love you nalkaroun mal, hwatgime nado moreuge neol tteonabonaetjiman…*.

           “Dad! Mom introduced me to Hankyung oppa today! Ah! She’s so evil. She knew I like him a lot.” Kyung Hee said sitting down on the couch beside Heechul. “That makes two of us.” he whispered. “What did you say?” she asked confused. “Oh? That she’s evil indeed.” he replied chuckling nervously. “Hmm, daddy, it’s not good to lie, especially to your heart.” Kyung Hee stated getting up and leaving the room. “That’s what he said to me too, but my heart is the one lying when she made me think I don’t love him anymore, when I do.”.