I can’t figure out why Yuri is ignoring me since we broke up, whereas back days we promised to remain cool when in the end we have to go separate ways and are never meant to be. I can’t do this, I can’t live like this with her refuse my existence. Is she doing it in an effort to drive me insane? I’ve gone crazy already, if only she knew. There’s too much stuff going around in my head.

As I’m thinking hardly my cell phone rings. I answer it without checking the caller ID. “Yeah,” I say, raising from my bed and lazily reflecting myself in the mirror. , I look like .

“Hyung.” I hear my dongseng friend, Seungri, sounding wide awake. “What’s up?” I say, fixing my messy hair. “Breaking news, hyung.” He says, sounding nervous. Seungri always has news. It used to always involve some girls he wanted to hang with. But lately, he’s been going out with Yuri’s friend, Hyuna.

“Is that why you up so early?”

“Huh? Oh, no, I haven’t been to sleep yet.” He says.

“You’ve been up all night?” I ask, glancing at clock. “It’s nine in the morning.”

“Hyung, the party went until five this morning. Youngbae hyung was also there, we went to breakfast, you missed a great ing time.” Last night party was messed. I was there for a while before things got really out of control. I’m actually a party animal, but recently, after the break up to be honest, I have no passion for it anymore because things about my life, Yuri and ours filling up my head. When the party started, I couldn’t really enjoy it, I was just worried my head is gonna explode.

“Youngbae?” I ask, making sure I don’t mishear him. Seungri and I love to party but Youngbae, my best buddy, he’s not the type who is willing to spend the night till dawn for a party.

“Yes, Youngbae hyung was in the party with me till morning. You must think it’s kinda weird, right? But believe it or not, nowadays he often parties until sunrise.” He sounds convinced.

“Well, I know it’s his business but I’m just a little scared he’ll become like you.” I say, half serious half joking.

“Yah, hyung! Just because lately you missed your party time now you think you’re a good one?” His boyish voice raises, sounding a bit angry.

Before we prolong the party topic, I shift it to the main. “What’s the breaking news?”

I hear him sigh. “It’s about Yuri noona.” He says, and I feel my stomach drop.

“What about her?” I say calmly as I can.

“I heard she’s hooking up with some guy.” He says, and I swallow hard.

“What do you mean by some guys? And how do you know?” I ask, not sure if I want to know about this.

“I said some guy, I don’t know the name. Heard it from Hyuna last night, who heard it from her college friend.”

“When?” I ask, sitting down on my bed.

“Not sure.” Seungri says. “But Yuri noona is getting serious about this one because I heard he’s really a good man.”

“Well, whatever. Yuri can do whatever she wants.” I reply. I stand up, take the clothes I’m gonna wear today from the wardrobe, and slam it shut.

“You okay?” He asks and I can hear his anxious tone.

“I say, she can do whatever the hell she wants.”  I lie.

“Well, cool. Since you’re the one who broke up with her, I see that you’re fine.” I hear a mock in his tone.

“Yes, I dumped her. Look Seungri, things aren’t just so easy. I have my reasons,” I can’t keep go on.

“Reasons that you’re bored with her and she has no fun and you have another girl. That’s cruel, hyung. I just hope you really have the worthy real reason.” 

“Thanks for letting me know.” I simply state.

“Yeah, call me later.” Seungri responds.

I click off my phone and take a deep breath. Things seriously get worse. Yuri has a new man and now Youngbae becomes a party lover meanwhile I can’t even move on. What the hell happened? What exactly happened with these two? They already made me suffer and now they’re mentally torturing me.

I just want to do the right thing. Did I already do the right thing? Can I finally do the right thing?

I lean my head against the side of my bed and let a heavy breath. I’ve spent three weeks driving myself completely insane with the fact that if it weren’t for the good and one second that changed everything, Yuri and I’d still be together. But instead, we’re not and I was such an and she extremely hates me. Who could blame her? She thinks I dumped her for another girl. If only she knew what really happened, she’d probably understand. 

I broke up with Yuri one day after my birthday, on the day after my special day. After she successfully threw a surprise party and gave me a lot of physical gifts, I heartlessly dumped her. I actually had no intention to break up with her until something changed my mind. The truth is Yuri and I broke up for a really ed-up reason that she doesn’t know about, and hopefully never will. There is no word ‘bored’ or ‘no fun’ or even ‘girl’. I just made things up.