Denial is probably the worst state one has to go through. It adds up on confusion and then you’re on your way to losing yourself to conformity. It isn’t easy, but it isn’t that difficult as well.

An open mind would take you places, would teach you things and would make you happier. Maybe that’s how the world would get peace, if every single one of its people had an open mind. He thinks to himself, and then he moves on with that random conclusion.

Who the would care if he was gay? He’s a genius, he’s talented, he has an intriguing personality and he’s far better looking than most straight men, anyway, girls can just cry. Shim Changmin was beginning to accept that he might just be in love with his best friend.

He need not know, or maybe not yet. He doesn’t think about it often. Changmin sees Kyuhyun everyday and the mere thought of having to confess was terrifying, if he may honestly say so. It was weird that he wasn’t scared of anything and then this comes along.


He completely blanks out these days. Having nothing more to talk about because his thoughts would linger a little too long on Kyuhyun. They’d meet up with a few other friends and he just sits there, right beside the boy and avoiding his eyes.

He wants to get away for a while and it was good that they were having promotions abroad. Less time with him means less worries of being found out. He can just move on without doing the boy any damage, without their friendship changing because of a not-so-little secret.

Changmin knows that’s impossible since they’ve always kept in touch no matter where in the world both of them could be. He wasn’t going to lose into hoping that Kyuhyun felt the same for him because it was anything but sensible.

He doesn’t relent, though. He knows that it would be more suspicious if he stopped their usual antics.

He still had his head over his heart – typical Shim Changmin.


He sets foot back in Korea after a couple of months of unending promotions, performances, photo shoots, interviews, guestings and what not. Needless to say, he was tired physically. That he lets his friends know. He skips a night out and unwinds alone at home.

The next time they see each other, he’s