We made it to land and everyone from the boats were gathered on the beach. There were buses, and someone said that they were going to take us to a school. Hand in hand, Hyuk and I boarded the bus, too scared to do anything but follow instructions. The bus stopped at a nearby school, only a couple of minutes away from the beach, and we were corralled into a gym, filled with dozens of other people, all looking as shaken up as we felt.

“What are we supposed to do?” I asked Hyuk, looking around.

“I don’t kn…” Hyuk’s voice trailed off as our attention was redirected to a woman standing behind us. She was arguing with the stationed police officer that she wanted to leave.

“Sir, my husband is right outside. You can’t keep me here against my will!”

“We have to keep everyone here until we can identify every person who was aboard that ship. That could take days. I’m sorry, but you have to stay here.”

I looked to Hyuk, and found him staring right back at me, apparently looking to me for some kind of instruction. I took a deep breath, trying to keep the looming feeling of panic at bay.

“We’ll stay here,” I said slowly, looking around at the dozens of people wandering around the gym. “We’ll stay here and play it by ear until we find the rest of them.”

We found a spot to sit in the gym, fairly secluded from the rest of the people. A woman came by, passing out blankets and sweaters. I grabbed two sweaters and wrapped a blanket around Hyuk. He was still nearly drenched in water from the fall and was shivering. Since it was the summer, the air conditioning was on making the gym extremely cold. He pulled me over and opened up the blanket so that I could be under it too and we leaned into each other, trying to make the most of our shared warmth. Neither of us talked. We simply sat, watching others try to cope with the situation and mull over what we had all just gone through.

There was no clock in the gym, but around what felt like an hour later, I heard Hyuk’s stomach grumble.

“Hungry?” I said, lifting my head from his shoulder and grinning. Rather than smile back, he looked back at me with a pitiful expression. I sighed. He must be starving. It was probably almost evening by now. It had been hours since either of us had last eaten. I nodded and stood up.

“I’ll try to find us something to eat.” Hyuk didn’t respond. I gave him one more considering look before exiting the gym into the lobby of the school. It turns out we weren’t the only ones who had grown hungry because there were dozens of people in the lobby asking about food. Thankfully, someone had donated a bunch of sandwiches and snack bags. Apparently, our story had made breaking news around the country. People in the area were getting together to get food and clothes for all of us.

While I was immensely thankful to the complete strangers who were making an effort to help us out, part of me felt strange upon hearing the news. It was like we were refugees, or homeless or something. It didn’t feel right. I suddenly felt so vulnerable. As I walked back to Hyuk with a few sandwiches in hand, and I saw him sitting alone against the gym wall wrapped in the blanket, I realized that we really had nothing. No phones. No money. We didn’t even have any access to food of our own.

And at the moment, no ability to talk to our family or the other members.

I approached Hyuk, feeling numb. When I knelt down next to him, he eyed the food in my hands and his face lit up. Before he could reach for a sandwhich however, I dropped them onto his lap and threw my arms around him.

“Nari, what…?” He awkwardly put his arms around me as I buried my face into his shoulder, trying with all my might not to make a sound as I let my silent tears fall. I didn’t want him to see me cry. “What happened?” He asked, sounding concerned.

I shook my head. “I just…” I started in a strained voice, “…I need to know that the others are okay. I want to go home.”

He sighed and gently patted my back.

Neither of us talked much for the rest of the day. The feeling of emptiness didn’t leave me. All evening, thoughts of Ken, N, Leo, Ravi, and Hongbin took over my mind. Where they could be. If they were off the ship. If they were still in the water, waiting to be rescued. When I forced myself to think of something else, I watched the room full of strangers around me and felt extremely alone.

We used the sweaters as pillows on the hard gymnasium floor and shared the blanket. That night, as I was trying to fall asleep, I could faintly hear Hyuk’s whimpers.

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of people talking. I rubbed my eyes and sat up, and was shocked to see how many more people had arrived while we were sleeping. The gym was full of people all on their own blankets scattered on the floor. I turned to Hyuk, wondering if I should wake him up, but when I leaned over, I saw that his eyes were already open. And bloodshot.

“Hyukkie, did you sleep okay?”

He shook his head.

I rubbed his shoulder and just then realized that he was in a fetal position. My heart broke for him. He needed his hyungs.

“Some more people arrived,” I said, trying to sound hopeful. “Do you want to look around and see if we can find them?”

He was still for a moment, but then slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. His back was to me, and I could tell that he didn’t want me to see his face. Just as I was about to suggest we get up, we heard a loud beep and then a man’s voice speaking. It was the school’s intercom system. I struggled to hear, but could only make out bits and pieces of what the man was saying over the noise of everyone.

I turned to Hyuk who was looking up, also trying to hear. When the voice paused, he looked down at me, his eyes wide.

“It’s a list of the deceased.”

My breath hitched.

Without warning, the man began reading out names, but the gym was so loud and his voice echoed badly. I could barely make out a single name.

“Be quiet!” I yelled to the people closest to us, but only a few people actually quieted down. I listened desperately and took hold of one of Hyuk’s arms for support. All I was listening for were five names. With every name that started with “Lee,” I felt my heart race a little faster.

Lee Sooyin

Ahn Jiwoo

Noh Sungmin

Park Jaerim

Kwon Chulyeong

Lee Jae…

My heart stopped altogether. I turned to Hyuk in desperation.

“Did you hear—?”

He shushed me, still listening. Only two more names were said. The second the intercom went quiet, I screamed Hyuk’s name.

“Did you hear it?”

He was shaking his head.

“Hyukkie, did they say Jaehwan’s name or not?!”

“I—I don’t know,” he said quickly and sounded as though he was on the verge of panicking himself. My mind was whirling. No. It wasn’t possible. It wasn’t true. We heard it wrong. It could have been a name that sounded similar. Lee Jaewon? Lee Jaekwon? Definitely not Jaehwan. Without warning, my mind flashed back to the image of the ship sinking. Ken still on it. Struggling to stay afloat as the water took him. He was the only one of them who couldn’t swim.

“Hyuk!”

“I SAID I DON’T KNOW!” he screeched. I looked up at him and he had broken into a sweat. I knew he had heard it too.

“Hyuk, we need to find them. We need to find them now.”

He nodded and took my hand. We ran through the gym, desperately eyeing every single person we passed. With every curious face we got back, I gripped Hyuk’s hand even tighter. They had to be here. There must have been over a hundred people in the gym by now.

“We should split up,” Hyuk said suddenly. I stopped.

“What?! No way!”

“Nari, look!” He pointed to the entrance of the gym and dozens more people were entering. “It’ll be faster if we split up now and then meet back at where we were sleeping.” I barely took in his words as I immediately began scanning the new crowd for any familiar faces.

“Fine,” I said and turned to him. “But don’t you dare leave this gym until you find me again, okay?” He nodded and we went our separate ways. I desperately looked from face to face of the people sitting, internally begging for any of them to be one of our five.

After what felt like an hour, I wanted to give up. I was exhausted, both mentally and physically. My body was sore from being so tense yesterday. My feet were tired. My mind didn’t want to be disappointed anymore with each new face that I didn’t recognize. I needed to get back to Hyuk. I needed to be with family.

I needed Ken.

Just as I started scanning the gym, trying to figure out where I was supposed to meet Hyuk, I heard loud voices. I ignored them at first, but after the third time, it sounded like someone calling my name. I turned at the noise, refusing to let myself get hopeful again, but the sight I saw nearly made me faint.

“Oh my gosh…” I was frozen with shock. Two men were running across the gym, dodging other people and blankets. They were smiling. I felt my knees grow weak.

“Oppa.” Just as I was about to collapse from sheer overwhelming sense of relief, Leo threw his arms around me and Ravi came around to hug me from behind.

“You’re okay,” I breathed into Leo’s chest, taking in his and Ravi’s warmth.

“Is Hyuk with you?” Leo said, still holding me tightly. I loosened my grip and the three of us broke apart slightly. I looked around.

“He’s in here. We split up while looking for you. But he’s here. He’s safe.” I saw them both heave a sigh of relief and I looked behind them, expecting to be bombarded by three more hugs. But no one was there.

“Where…?” I suddenly felt myself grow weak, this time with fear. Ken wasn’t with them. I looked desperately from Leo to Ravi. “Where are the others?”

Leo’s face fell. “They…they’re not here with you?”

My eyes widened. “Of course not! They were back on the ship with you!”

“We got separated,” Ravi quickly explained. He glanced at Leo who looked absolutely crestfallen.

“What do you mean?”

“On the beach,” Leo said slowly, coming back to his senses. “We know they got into rescue boats, but we were on a different one and by the time the two of us got to the beach, we couldn’t find them and had to board the bus.”

“But…are they okay?” I could feel the rising panic coming back. Leo blinked, as if processing a thought, and then nodded.

“They should be.”

“But are you sure?” I said desperately. “Hyuk and I…we heard them say… the deceased—” I couldn’t bring myself to say my fears out loud, but they understood. Leo was shaking his head.

“There was a Lee Jaehwan, but it wasn’t ours.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded. “We saw him on the beach. It wasn’t Jaehwan.”

I should have felt relieved, but I wasn’t. Until I saw Ken with my own two eyes, I wouldn’t be able to relax.

“So where is Sanghyuk?”

I looked around and finally identified where I thought we had slept. The gym was getting extremely crowded, and we had to push past many unhappy people to get to our destination, but I made sure to never lose sight of both Leo and Ravi. I was not going to lose anyone anymore. When we were only a few feet away, to my relief, I saw Hyuk sitting at our blanket, with his head in his hands. I called his name, excitedly. He didn’t look up right away, but when he did, I could see that he was just as defeated as I had been only minutes ago. Before I could say anything, Leo pushed past me and sprinted to the maknae, throwing himself down onto him. Ravi and I followed, and knelt down next to them.

At the sight of Leo, Hyuk finally let down the guard he had been holding up in front of me and quietly whimpered into his hyung’s shoulder. Leo too was crying, though his tears were silent.

-

“How is he?” Ravi asked as he took a bite of his food. We were sitting on the blanket picnic style, eating cold eggrolls that had been passed around.  Leo and Hyuk were using the bathroom.

I shook my head. “He won’t talk. I think he’s really shaken up, but he just doesn’t want to admit it.”

Ravi laughed dryly. “I’ve never seen Sanghyuk cry like that before. You two must have had a hard time.”

I nodded and looked down at my half-eaten eggroll.

“And how are you?”

I looked up at Ravi, surprised at the sudden question. His head was cocked and he was looking at me with a soft expression.

Of all of the VIXX members, I was probably the least close with Ravi. We were the same age and had grown to be friends, but I had always been closer to Hongbin and Ken. Sometimes, however, Ravi had a way of asking just the right question to get me talking. Though today, I was at a loss for words.  

“I…” I tried getting words out, but I honestly did not know how to appropriately phrase how I was feeling. I thought about everything that had happened yesterday and this morning and I felt my chest tighten again.

“Honestly…Ravi, I feel like I can barely breathe.” I tried to control my expression as the image of Ken entered my mind, but I could feel every muscle in my body tremble as I opened up that box of thoughts. “I’m going crazy, wondering where Ken could be or if he is alright. I…I can’t even begin to think about him being—“ I nearly choked and put my head in my hands. “And I’ve been trying to hold it in,” I croaked, “and stay strong for Sanghyuk…but it’s just…so hard.”

Ravi patted my shoulder as I tried to keep the tears inside, taking deep breath after deep breath. I kept my head in my hands, simply holding myself, waiting for the moment to pass. When it eventually did, I looked up and saw that Leo and Hyuk had already come back.

We sat in silence, finishing our lunch. Ravi had tried to make small talk every once in a while, but a topic never stuck. I had settled with simply watching the people around us again. It was mostly older people in the gym. Since the cruise was expensive, most of the people were middle-aged or older. There were very few people our age, which made sense considering that most people our age were students without money to be spending on a cruise. However I did notice one other group of younger people similar to us; a boy and girl who were clearly a couple with a few other people, presumably their friends. Seeing the couple together made my heart ache for Ken, so I quickly looked somewhere else, looking for something, anything else to think about. My eyes landed on a family about two groups away from us. It was a father, mother, and a little girl who looked to be about ten years old. The mother was holding her and she was crying.

I gasped. I recognized them. I remembered them from the cruise. That little girl was at the pool every single day, looking like she was having the time of her life. Now however, she looked absolutely miserable. I saw the mom hug her daughter and was reminded of my own mom.

I shook my head. “Our parents must be worried sick.”

“God, don’t talk about that. I can’t even think about them,” Ravi said, putting his head in his hands.

“I told my sister what happened.”

Ravi and I shot our heads up at Hyuk. He was looking down with a solemn expression.

“When?!” I said. When in the world did he have the time to do that? And how?

“Back on the ship, when we were still in the room. I messaged her everything that was going on.”

I stared at him, my eyes wide. He watched all three of our expressions.

“I told her to tell our parents in case anything happened,” he said, and then added, “all of our parents.”

Ravi made a sound of awe. “You smart little maknae.”

“Do you still have your phone on you?” I said desperately. His last minute message may have been useful for the other members, but it was unlikely that any of them would think to contact my parents. He sadly shook his head.

“I do, but it got so wet yesterday when I fell. It doesn’t even turn on.”

I put my head in my hands. “I left mine in our room. I just wish I could call my mom and tell her I’m okay. I just need to hear her voice.”

“You know there’s a phone here,” Leo piped up. My head shot up.

“Really?” I said, excitedly. He nodded.

“I saw some people using it when we were getting our food. There was a huge line, but it’s there if you want to call her.” He scanned all of our faces. “We should all call our parents.”

My heart started beating faster, relieved to finally be receiving some good news. After short discussion, we agreed that Hyuk and I would go first while the other two watched our area. When we got to the lobby of the school, we were met with disappointment. Leo wasn’t joking. The line was ridiculously long.

“It’s okay,” I said, trying to sound cheerful, though this was yet another test of patience, “We’ll wait. It’ll be worth it.”

So we waited. And waited. And waited. It had been over an hour and there were still at least 20 people in front of us.

“Excuse me?”

Hyuk and I both turned in surprise and were faced with two women, one middle-aged and another who looked to be a little younger than Hyuk. The older woman was beaming at us and the younger one was staring at Hyuk with wide eyes.

“Can we help you?” I asked, but neither of them seemed to have heard me.

“Are you by any chance the singer that everyone is talking about?” the older woman said. “I know I’ve seen you before.”

Hyuk and I glanced at each other uneasily. He awkwardly scratched the back of his head. “Uhh…”

“You’re Hyuk, right? From VIXX?” The younger girl said excitedly. I internally groaned. We should have been expecting something like this.

“Um…y-yeah. I am…” he slowly responded. The girl beamed and the woman took a step towards him.

“Aigoo, I knew it! You’re too handsome to be just anyone!” She then had the nerve to reach up and touch his face. I looked up at Hyuk in astonishment, and he looked absolutely uncomfortable. The girl stepped closer to him too, to which he took a surprised step back.

“Can I get your autograph? I’m sure I can find some paper and a pen in the office. Please?”

“Oh…um…I was just going to use the phone—“

“Come on, please? I mean when am I ever going to get to see you again?” I glared at her. Could she be any less sensitive? Meanwhile poor Hyuk squirmed under the gaze of both women.

“Oh Honey, you’re so young to have gone through all of this!” the older woman said, brushing his arm. He immediately pulled his arm close to him.

“Listen, I’m sorry, but I—“

“Can you at least do some aegyo or something for me?”

I scowled at the girl. Was she really serious? Hyuk looked back at the telephone line nervously. “I don’t think—“

“Where are the other members? Are they here too?” At this Hyuk’s expression hardened at once and I stepped forward.

“Hey, back off,” I said firmly. Both women took a step back and looked at me, dumbfounded, as if they didn’t even realize I was there until then.

“And who are you?” The older woman asked with clear disapproval.

“Does it matter? He clearly doesn’t want to talk to you so why don’t you just leave him alone?”

“What? Are you dating him or something?” The younger girl said.

“No, I’m—“ I stopped myself. These people were not worth the energy or attention. Instead of replying, I pulled Hyuk by the arm.

“Come on. We’ll use the phone later.”

He didn’t hesitate one bit in following me. As we reluctantly walked back into the crowded gym, Hyuk started looking around erratically.

“Nari, we can’t be here,” he said, and there was a hint of panic behind his voice.

“What are you talking about?”

“There are so many people here. If they know who we are…the company is going to be so—“

“Are you serious?” I jumped in front of Hyuk, stopping him in his tracks. “Hyuk, I think they’ll understand if you’re not the perfect public figure in a situation like this.” He huffed in frustration and angrily walked past me back to Leo and Ravi.

“What happened?”

“He got recognized,” I muttered bitterly to Ravi and sat down.

“What? Really?” Ravi looked surprised.

“Apparently we’re all over the news.” I said, recalling what I had learned the day before. “It was bound to get out eventually that the cruise VIXX was on is the one that sunk.” Ravi sighed and then we both jumped at a noise. Hyuk had just kicked the wall in frustration. The three of us looked up and saw him leaning against the wall, fuming.

“Sanghyuk, calm down,” Leo said in a low voice. “It’s okay. It was only a matter of time before people realized who we were.”

Hyuk put his head in his hands and slid to the floor. We then heard his muffled voice, “Hyung, I can’t do it anymore. I just want this to be over.”

To this, Leo sighed.  After a moment of watching Hyuk, he suddenly stood up.

“I’m going to find out what’s taking so long,” he murmured and without another word exited the gym.

By the time Leo came back, we were all itching to hear what he had found out. Unfortunately, that ended up being close to nothing. All the officers were saying was the same message Hyuk and I had heard when we first arrived: they were still waiting to identify everyone who was aboard the ship. No one was allowed to leave until then.

“What about Ken?” I asked desperately, “Did they say why it’s taking so long for them to get here?”

Leo shook his head. “He said…” he paused and checked everyone’s expressions before continuing slowly, “…he said they’re still trying to find them.”

It was like my breath got caught in my throat. After a moment of chilling silence, we were all bombarding Leo with questions.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I thought you said they got in the boats!”

“How do they not know where they are?!”

“Guys, I don’t know!” Leo said loudly. “That’s all the officer said. I don’t think even he knows much more than we do.”

I opened and closed my mouth several times, unable to believe what I was hearing. The other two were silent as well as we all delved into our own terrifying thoughts. Needless to say, no one talked much for the rest of the day. Every so often I would glance at the entrance of the gym, hoping to see one of our missing faces, but each time was met with disappointment. We went the rest of the day without any sign of Ken, N or Hongbin.

That night I silently cried myself to sleep, in despair at the fact that this was now the second night I had gone to bed without knowing if Ken was alive or not.

The next day when I woke up, for a moment I forgot where I was. Then when I saw Hyuk, Leo, and Ravi lying next to me, and then the other people around the gym, reality came crashing back like a wave.

The look on everyone else’s faces as they slowly woke up and came to the same realization was nothing short of defeat. Hyuk and I were now going on our third day in this godforsaken gym.

“Hyukkie, eat something,” Leo said with concern, gesturing to Hyuk’s barely touched breakfast. He had taken a couple of bites, but after we noticed some nearby people watching us and whispering to each other, he had put his food down and resorted to pacing around our little living area.

“I’m not hungry,” he mumbled. Ravi and I exchanged worried glances.

“It’s actually pretty good today,” I tried. When getting our food that morning, we were informed that a group of women, after hearing about what had happened, got together and made batches and batches of jajangmyeon for all of us.

Instead of responding, Hyuk groaned in frustration and fell to the ground.

“I wish they would at least let us walk around the school! I can’t stand being in here!”

I sighed. He was getting stir-crazy. I looked at Leo, imploring him to try to do something. He met my gaze and nodded, putting his bowl of noodles down.

“Hyuk, get up.”

“Why…?”

Leo grabbed one of Hyuk’s arms and forcibly pulled the maknae to his feet. He also grabbed Hyuk’s bowl of food.

“We’re going to try the phone again. You and Nari never got to make your call yesterday, right?”

Hyuk nodded and Leo spun him around so that he was facing the door.

“Then let’s go,” he said, and shoved the noodles into Hyuk’s hands, “and I want at least half of that in your stomach by the time we get to there.”

He then marched Hyuk right out of the gym, the younger having no energy to resist. Once they were out of earshot, Ravi sighed.

“Thank goodness for Taekwoon-hyung. I don’t know how we would have been able to handle this without him.”

I laughed dryly. “You have no idea how hard this was when it was just me and Hyuk.”

“I mean, I saw you yesterday,” he said, taking another bite of noodles. “You were a mess.”

“Gee, thanks.”

We were silent for a minute while we both ate, and then I spoke again.

“So how…how did you all get separated after Hyuk and I got off? I thought Leo-oppa was supposed to stay with Ken.”

At the mention of Ken, Ravi gave me a sympathetic look. I tried to control my expression but when I said those words, my face automatically hardened. He put his bowl down and turned so that he was fully facing me.

“After you guys left, all of the boats that were there had been filled, so we had to wait for the next batch. It took a while, at least an hour.”

“And hour?!” I gaped at him in shock. “The water was coming up so fast! How…?”

Ravi shuddered. “It was scary, Nari. Let me tell you, watching rescue boats leave while you’re still on a sinking ship is terrifying. We just kept moving closer and closer to the back of the ship, but we still wanted to stay at the front of the crowd to catch the first boats to come again. It was crazy.”

I shook my head in awe. “So when did you get separated?”

“When the next boats came, Leo-hyung practically pushed Jaehwan-hyung to the front of the line. Then he made Hongbin and N-hyung go. Meanwhile I found another boat and was waiting for Leo-hyung to come with me. So after he made sure Jaehwan-hyung was getting his own boat, he came to mine. Then we left.”

He stopped speaking, as if that was the end.

“That’s it?”

He nodded. I furrowed my eyebrows.

“That doesn’t make sense. You both left at the same time. How did you guys make it here and they didn’t?”

Ravi shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s the worst part. One minute they were safe, and then the next we had lost them.”

 “But…how?! Leo-oppa…he was supposed to stay with Jaehwan. How…how could you guys just leave them?” I still couldn’t understand.

“Shhh!” Ravi said, his eyes darting around. He leaned towards me and lowered his voice. “Nari, Leo-hyung feels terrible, absolutely terrible for losing track of Jaehwan. Once we got to the beach and realized they weren’t there too, you should have seen him. He was a wreck. He wouldn’t have dared gotten on a boat if he didn’t really believe they were also getting rescued.”

“But…but…” I wanted to say more. That couldn’t be all. It wasn’t that simple. It couldn’t be that simple. I sighed, my breath shaking. “It just isn’t fair. How could something like this happen?”

Ravi simply shook his head. No words he could say would make me feel better, and he knew it. So he just shook his head and rubbed my shoulder while I sat with my head in my hands.

Nearly an hour later, Leo and Hyuk still hadn’t come back. Ravi went out to check on them, and came back shortly saying that they were fine. They were simply talking outside of the gym. He said Hyuk was crying.

“That’s good,” I said. “Hyuk needs that.”

While I wasn’t lying, I couldn’t truthfully say I was feeling any sense of happiness. Honestly, I was just feeling empty and tired. And lonely. Hyuk, my only companion throughout this entire ordeal was no longer available to listen, and the ones who I really wanted to be with were not here. All I could do was curl into a ball and hug myself.

I couldn’t stay like that for long though. After only a couple of minutes, I felt like I was suffocating. Staring at the same white walls of the gym rather than give me something neutral to think about now mocked me. I needed to get out. I mumbled something incoherent to Ravi and took off towards the bathrooms. Once I was inside, I went to a sink and ran my hands under the cold water. When I couldn’t feel my fingers anymore, I pressed my hands to my face, letting the cold spread. I took a deep breath and did it again. With each repetition, the lump in my throat got smaller and smaller. Finally, all I could feel on my face was cold, and surprisingly, I felt refreshed. I looked at myself in the mirror and almost, almost, laughed. I looked disgusting. I hadn’t showered in days, and my face was sickeningly pale from not eating properly.

After a few more deep breaths, once I was sure my moment of weakness had passed, I exited the bathroom and went back to the gym. On my way, I noticed that they had begun laying out newly donated food.

“Ravi,” I called, approaching him.

He looked up and did a double take. “Why are you all wet?”

I shook my head, dismissing his question. “Let’s go eat. They brought buns this time.”

He was still looking at my wet hair and shirt in confusion, but suddenly, his expression changed. His eyes were wide.

I knelt down in front of him. “Don’t worry about my hair. I just needed to splash some water on my face. Come on, let’s go eat before the buns are gone.”

But he wasn’t looking at me. He was looking past me.

“Hey,” I said, trying to get his attention. “Did you hear me? I’m hungry.”

He shook his head. “Look,” and he pointed behind me. I sighed, irritated, and turned around. I scanned my surroundings in confusion, wondering what he was pointing at, but once I saw it, I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Three people had just wandered into the gym. They were walking around aimlessly, and for a moment I thought maybe I wasn’t recognizing them correctly. However, once I really focused, my heart leapt. Walking in our direction were N, Hongbin, and Ken.

Ken.

They looked lost, as if still trying to look for us and not realizing that we were right in front of them. I put a hand to my mouth in shock and turned back to Ravi, trying to confirm that he saw what I did. He looked back at me and his eyes were filled with tears. We both jumped up and took off.

I heard Ravi calling for N, but I wasn’t aware of if they actually met because I only had my eyes on one person. I didn’t even think to say his name. I just needed to feel him. When he picked up on Ravi’s shouts, he looked in our direction and our eyes met. He froze and looked, as I did, as though he did not fully believing what he was seeing. He slowly opened up his arms, watching my face with awe, and I jumped into them.

I buried my face in his shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably, and he slowly spun around at the force of my hug. He breathed heavily into my hair.

I was crying incoherent words. “I thought…I thought you…”

I needn’t say more. He only held me even tighter in response. I choked on my sobs, but I couldn’t stop. I had thought I had been an emotional wreck for the past couple of days, but when I finally laid eyes on Jaehwan, I realized just how much fear, worry, and anxiety I had been holding in. I was shaking so much; Ken slowly lowered himself so that we were both sitting on the ground, right in the middle of the gym.

“They said…they said your name…I…I was so…” I couldn’t form a whole sentence through my weeping, but he understood.

“I know,” he said softly, and I cried even harder into his chest at the sound of his voice, the voice I had been yearning to hear for the past 72 hours. He rested his chin on my head and ran his hand soothingly up and down my back. “It’s okay. I’m right here.”

My tears were not the only ones that fell in the gym that day. After reuniting with Ravi, N’s didn’t appear to be able to stop crying, from sheer overwhelming at all of us finally being together again. When Hyuk and Leo returned, at first they were speechless at the surprise they had stumbled upon. Leo politely waited for me to separate from Ken before throwing himself on him, muttering apology after teary apology. Finally, Hongbin cried silently, for the first time since I had met him, when reuniting with Hyuk.

Surprisingly, it was Sanghyuk who seemed to be the only one who had run out of tears.

Finally, once everyone had been properly reunited and calmed down, we got the real story of what had happened. We all sat in a close circle, I clutching onto Jaehwan’s arm, refusing to let him go, and the three spoke in hushed voices. By now, everyone knew who they were and it seemed as though the entire gym was watching us though trying to appear not to be. N said that as they entered the school, they had passed countless reporters waiting outside.

“Well, that’s going to be fun to face once we leave,” Ravi said. After Leo and I both shushed him, we were ready to hear what had happened.

After Leo had left them to go to the other rescue boat, they were about to get on, however everyone was pushing each other, desperate to get off, and it was difficult for even the three of them to stick together. Even after Ken had gotten on the boat, a woman with two kids had appeared, desperate for refuge. So, Ken got out of the boat and let the family on.

“You what?!” I screeched at Ken. He looked down at me, shrugging.

“Of course I did. I had to!”

“Ken, you don’t know how to swim! You’re just as vulnerable as them!”

“Shut up!” Hyuk said, waving his hand at me. “Let them finish!”

After getting back onto the ship and gathering with N and Hongbin, Leo and Ravi’s boat had already started heading out as well as the other boats. So, the remaining three had to wait for the third round of boats. It was already dark out by the time they actually got into a boat. Because of the darkness, and then rain, it was difficult for the recue person to navigate safely back to shore. They ended up at a different beach and in arranging where to go, getting fed and dry, and actually getting to the right school, the entire process led to the two-day delay.

The good news was that they, along with the three other boatloads of people who were with them, were the last of the passengers that needed to be found, and after a couple of hours after being reunited, we got an announcement that they would begin the process of releasing people.

Based on how difficult it was to make a simple phone call, we should have expected a long line for checking out. We waited for hours, however everyone was finally in high spirits. N, Ravi, and Leo were even engaging with fans who had finally mustered up the courage to approach them. Meanwhile, the entire time, Hongbin and Hyuk were exchanging stories of their different experiences in the past three days, Hyuk’s recollection now being much more pleasant than I had remembered. Ken bounced between groups, mingling with the fans, adding to Hongbin’s story, and talking to random people in line, and I followed him. Wherever he went, I followed, not caring at all who saw us or what they would say once we were all back in the real world. I had Ken back. He was alive, he was smiling, he was well, and that was all that mattered.

When it was my turn to check out, I was shaking in excitement.

“I just need your full name and phone number.”

“Moon Nari.” The woman behind the desk looked up my name in the record, typed something on her computer, and then asked for my phone number. I told it to her and she typed it into the computer. She then took a ticket, signed it, and handed it to me.

“Alright, you’re free to go. Be prepared for us to contact you in the near future as the investigation continues.” I nodded and exited the line, reading the ticket. It simply said “approved” with the woman’s signature.

I waited until Ken got his and grinned at him as he exited the line.

“So…this means we can go home?” I asked, excitedly. He looked down at his ticket and frowned.

I looked at him, confused. “What’s wrong?”

“That’s it?” he said in disbelief. “After everything we went through we just get ‘approved’ stamped on a little piece of paper?”

“Ken, does that really matter?”

“Does it really matter?!” He looked offended. “I thought I lost the people most important to me in the whole world. I made it alive out of a sinking ship even though I can’t even swim! I think I deserve at least a ‘good job.” But all I get is approved?!” I laughed and Ken finally broke into a smile and looked down at me.

I put my arms around him. “Good job, Lee Jaehwan. You did really, really great.” He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close and pressed his lips against my forehead.

“It’s over, Nari. We made it.”

-Fin-