Chapter 23

He never had a decent sleep ever since he received that letter from Joohyun. It was her first and only letter for months after promising they would write to each other often. If one letter can be considered as often, then he doesn’t want to know what it means with rarely. She met someone, he read that line over and over again followed by I really like him. Looking back now, this is the first time Joohyun has been straight forward about her feelings. He always goes back to that night in Busan when she said she liked him, is it because of that, that she never really liked someone else? Now that he’s not around, she’s now able to see other people and the first month she was out of the country, she already found someone.

What’s more mind boggling is that these thoughts never left his mind. Try as he might, the army doesn’t really give you the luxury to think of anything else except for your task and for you to ponder on your life inside the confines of your barracks after a long day of work. Not that he doesn’t want to but almost every night after his enlistment it was Joohyun who he thought of more, even more than his family and it’s weird and he doesn’t like it. It’s not normal for him or so he thought.

Everyday, he waits for another letter from her not really sure what he wants to know from that letter, have they moved forward, have they stayed as friends? The mystery man is still a mystery. He threw away all the letters that he was about to send her and made a new one after he received hers. The new letter barely gives off the vibe that he’s okay and he’s fine. The letter is more likely a report of his daily activities and it’s not like he can elaborate in a fun way of how hard it is to roll in the mud and smell like dirt at the end of each and everyday. No, there is not much to say in that letter except who’s the guy?

The day of his first family visit, everyone in his family came meaning his mom, dad and Jessica. He missed them so much that he’s ecstatic even seeing the sulky face of his sister. Some of his colleagues even asked to be introduced to her of whom he kindly declined simply because he knows his sister and she won’t let him off that easily from the embarrassment.

“How are you son?” his dad asked him while they watch him eat heartily

“Hard but bearable”

“That’s good you’re already on your 5th month, can you imagine how time flies”

He swallowed his food but for some reason the number of months brought his reverie back to his lost friend.

“Oh Yonghwa, your Seo eomma sent you this, she said she’s sorry that she can’t come today she’s busy with the twins now that they’re back” his mom opened a lunch box filled with variety of bibimbap he only smiled thinking how cruel can this world be. It’s her again. Not until he figures what his feeling  everytime she comes to mind, he won’t be at ease. And it didn’t stop there.

Jessica sat in front of him smirking “So how does the bestfriend feel now that she already has a boyfriend?”

“What?”

“You know Joohyuns boyfriend?”

His heart stop and so does everything around him. For the first time in months he wanted to just be shot right then and there and get this over and done with. Jessica saw the change in his face and knew immediately that her brother was clueless, well clueless before but not anymore. She looked at her mom and dad who were just looking at Yonghwa too not knowing what to say. Them teasing him about Joohyun is completely different from the Yonghwa they are looking at right now.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know you didn’t know. Heechul just told me about it but hey it’s not like it’s confirmed right? You need to hear it straight from the horses mouth. Maybe her letter was just delayed and she was about to tell you all about it? Or Heechul might be wrong” she tried to sound comforting as much as possible but she knew it was useless, the face Yonghwa showed and continued showing was a face she never really have seen in all their sibling lives. She messed up and there’s nothing she can really do but apologize again.

“I’m sorry bro, I bet she’s about to tell you”

His family left without much of a word, the visit didn’t end on a happy note, it was like him floating into air and was looking past them when he said his goodbyes. He walked aimlessly across the building to his barracks with food on hand. He’d just share it with his officers and barrack mates since his sense of taste left him earlier. He was found by his friends sitting on his bed food still in hand

“Yonghwa! Yo dude! are you okay?” Seulong asked him, it took him a few seconds to register what was going on

“Oh hey, yeah, done with the visit?”

“Yup!” as his friend removed his boots and sat on his side of the bed, little by little their barracks started to fill with his friends who was crowding around them for that free afternoon.

“Yonghwa your sister is pretty does she have a boyfriend?”

“Not that I know of, oh wait here are some food my mom said to share them with you all.” He started to hand the food over to everyone including their barracks superior who also became their friend. They started talking about relationships before they went to the army, there was just a small buzz with a bit of munching when they focused on Yonghwa who was zoning out again

“Hey you don’t look good? Want me to go with you to the infirmary?” another officer asked him

“No but let me guys ask you” his face serious and so does the everyone around him, he look at the people around him who was silent waiting for him to continue

“Do you have like girl friends? Not girlfriend in a romantic way but friends who are girls?”

A bunch said yes while the others says none, his superior then spoke

“A man and a woman can never have platonic relationship!”

“That is not true!” a few countered

The superior just shrug then looked at Yonghwa again “But why ask?”

He heaved a deep sigh and shook his head  “I have one and we’ve been bestfriends for a long time almost 9 years. We do everything together, assignments, projects, sleepovers, we hang out, go out of town just the two us. Looking back now, she actually did more work in our friendship than all my efforts put together. It won’t even add up to half of what she did. For us. For me”

He looked around waiting for someone to ask a question or change the topic but no one dared move except for their mouths who was chewing the food laid before them.

“I have been getting these weird feelings ever since I met her but it was never clear nor concise for me t