“HakYeon?”

Ear twitch. A light sigh. Eyes glittering.

The days afterwards seemed to go in slow motion. HakYeon took it easy for the most part, and TaekWoon never made him go any further. He was still greeted with HakYeon leaning out the window as he turned the corner coming home from work. Sometimes they still went out on Thursdays to see the crepe man, and sometimes they would meet with the others to sit around at the park across the street.

When TaekWoon asked HakYeon when his birthday was, he was answered with a blink and a tilt of his head. “I… don’t know?” HakYeon replied. “I’ve never paid attention.”

It had been close enough to a year since the two met, so it was only fair for them to celebrate. The six friends crowded into TaekWoon’s apartment, groceries and a cake in hand. It was a little odd that HakYeon and WonShik weren’t roughhousing at first sight like they used to, and TaekWoon pushed the thought from his mind when he saw the two dogboys still managing to pester HongBin by stalking him around the living room.

TaekWoon knew when he had to cut the festivities off, when HakYeon subtly passed him a look and wouldn’t move from where he sat. The other hybrids could obviously pick up the silent cue, lingering close enough to almost sandwich HakYeon, but TaekWoon had to tell JaeHwan and SangHyuk it was time for bed. With expressions of concern, they bid farewell, giving HakYeon one more birthday pat, and urged their respective hybrids to go along.

TaekWoon hadn’t even shut the door behind them before he realized HakYeon had already retreated to the bedroom. He did a quick clean-up job and followed soon after. HakYeon was curled on his side and had mashed his face into TaekWoon’s pillow. When TaekWoon got close enough, HakYeon attached himself, and there was no more moving away for the rest of the night. HakYeon tried to hide his very obvious discomfort, but TaekWoon knew as the pain would rise and subside throughout the night. He kept watch over HakYeon and could only start to drift off close to dawn. Before his eyes fell, he texted JaeHwan to say he wouldn’t be coming into work. And, with HakYeon’s face still solidly buried in his side, HakYeon’s hands lightly gripping his shirt, he went to sleep.

“HakYeon?”

The tail thumped. The ear twitched.

There was absolutely no trying to get HakYeon to see MinWoo, even during his worse episodes, but TaekWoon still wanted the vet to try the most he could, so MinWoo made occasional house calls. During those times, HakYeon would whine and bury himself under the blankets of the bed to hide. At least he wasn’t jumping into the closet. Sometimes MinWoo would deliver medicine for HakYeon to try. Mostly painkillers but others experimental, courtesy of a chemist friend who was trying to develop better hybrid medications, MinWoo said. Obviously, the vet had asked first if HakYeon was willing to be a test subject, and, obviously, TaekWoon was a bit reluctant. Things could have gone south so easily. But the idea that there was a chance they would come up with something that could help HakYeon overrode TaekWoon’s pessimism, so he pitched the idea to HakYeon who looked wary but agreed in the end.

The medications were, in a sense, not very effective. They didn’t make HakYeon feel any worse, but they certainly didn’t seem to make him feel any better, either. There was one painkiller MinWoo had instructed to only be taken for severe pain, and the situation where TaekWoon almost had to pry HakYeon’s fiercely clenched jaw open seemed ideal. The effect was almost instantaneous; HakYeon relaxed and was able to fall asleep easily. TaekWoon breathed a sigh of relief himself, and even though HakYeon seemed like he was sleeping well enough, he was reluctant to leave the hybrid alone. It took a lot of convincing himself to finally get up and do minor things around the apartment, frequently poking his head into the room, just to be sure. MinWoo texted a few times to check in, and TaekWoon shared the good results.

When evening turned to dark night, TaekWoon wondered if this was the sort of thing that he could wake HakYeon up from. Surely waking him to eat wouldn’t be that bad; they hadn’t had anything to eat ever since TaekWoon got home from work. HakYeon was still in a deep sleep, though, when TaekWoon slowly sat on the mattress. He debated for a while before he reached out to pass his hand along HakYeon’s hair.

“HakYeon?”

His voice breaking the stifling quiet of night felt a bit too loud. HakYeon barely budged, his chest still rising and falling with his steady breaths.

2:00 a.m. came and went. < How is he? > MinWoo had texted.

< Still asleep... > TaekWoon replied.

< Still? > TaekWoon didn’t like the surprise from MinWoo’s end. < Let me know. Come to the office first thing in the morning if there’s no change. >

< I will. >

He didn’t want it to come to that, so he willed with all his might for HakYeon to wake up before the morning. TaekWoon was almost at his wit’s end by 5:48 a.m. and was all set and ready to bring HakYeon straight to the clinic when the dogboy finally stirred, taking a deep breath, and blinking his unfocused eyes open and immediately searched around. When HakYeon’s eyes landed on TaekWoon and took in the gaunt state of his human friend, he latched his arms around TaekWoon’s midsection, pressing his face into TaekWoon’s neck. TaekWoon decided against trying that medication again.

“HakYeon?”

Pause. Eyes blinking sleepily.

The days were getting heavier. HakYeon didn’t move around as much and was slower when he did. Even if the window was open when TaekWoon rounded the corner from work, HakYeon would still be sitting by the window by the time TaekWoon made it upstairs. Their small walks diminished from daily to weekly to if HakYeon was even able to get out of bed. The days were spent with the two on the couch, HakYeon leaning on TaekWoon’s shoulder with the throw wrapped around him, not really watching what was on TV. The chilling reality set in when HakYeon, already having downgraded meals because it had become difficult to eat, turned his head away after only one spoonful.

What more could he have done?

TaekWoon tried to resist the circle of questions, the Blame Game, but when he couldn’t sleep and would watch over HakYeon instead, the thoughts crowded his mind regardless of how much he tried to push them away. It was a new agonizing playlist, and he couldn’t figure out how to delete it.

Should he have let HakYeon sleep on the bed sooner? Listened to him sooner? Been more open and warm from the beginning? Should he have taken him out more often? Farther? Introduced him to more sights instead of staying around his neighborhood all the time? Should he have branched out more? Tried to find more hybrids to connect with besides sticking with his own friends?

Was he really happy?

That was a silly question, he knew. Surely HakYeon’s sunshining attitude and glittering expressions every day were an obvious indicator that of course he was happy. Compared to his history, there wouldn’t have been any reason why he wouldn’t be happy, right? Could TaekWoon have done more for him? Couldn’t he have done something – maybe at least one thing – more to where he could see, just one more time, HakYeon’s eyes glittering brightly, hear his warm voice, make him smile like TaekWoon was his whole word?

Maybe he was dreaming or hallucinating. In the dark room, with HakYeon lying next to him and the sun starting to make an appearance somewhere in the sky, he was sure he saw HakYeon staring back at him, his eyes glittering like they used to, a warm smile gracing his face.

Maybe it was a dream because TaekWoon woke up, the morning sun shining lightly through the window, HakYeon lying next to him, TaekWoon’s hand under his cheek, TaekWoon’s forearm captured in HakYeon’s hands. His eyes were closed.

The morning was silent.

“HakYeon?”

“… HakYeon?”

“HakYeon…”