And then, there's a black out. But no, the black out I was waiting for did not come. Don't tell my I'm not dead yet? Or this is what heaven look like?

I open my eyes and see confuse faces of my friends. Don't tell me-

"And the second place go to Jin Jongeun! Good job! I didn't know you could do that, keep it up!" said the teacher as she pat my back.

Spontaniously, I froze. I never been touch that way. Shiver spread to my spine along with the warmth appreciation. The warmth I've been longing for, yet feel so unfamiliar. I wonder, will life be as magical as it supposed to be if I recieved warmth instead of curse? Will I be able to have a lobing family? Will I be able to have a laugh with friends? Will I be able to have relationship with my crush? Will I...still be alone?

I dragged myself out of the fictional life and back to the real life. My heart's pounding. Why I have to live such a life? This is not what I have planned. I need to leave this world. I can't stay here much longer. But hard to admit, I like the feeling, when I get noticed. It's like someone finally see you behind the wall. I feel like a normal human being. 

But let's not be naive, This is the world I live in. Cruel and dark. Despite the murmurs and the look from my friends, I walked away. PE class is over and it's already time to go home. Am I angry? Or feel a little tiny bit of happiness?

I was walking toward my locker room when a voice touch my ears. A soft, calming, yet deep voice.

"You improved so much, eh?"

I hestitated and stop walking. I know. I know that voice anywhere. 

I turned my head, and see a red-brownish haired guy smirking at me shyly. With his typical canine tooth at both side. I blinks. Is this even real? I can feel blood rushing to my cheeks and my heart goes boom-bara-boom. The feeling that was long again, arise within me. It's him. 

I look down at my own shoes, don't know what to say. Should I say hi? No it would be weird. Should I say yes I've improved? No it would sound like boosting. GAH! What should I reply?

Just then a pair of black converse can be seen infront of my worn-out pair of converse. I look up. Our eyes met. I diverted my gaze back down. 

"You still remember me, right? We've been classmates for-"

"4 years." I said cutting his sentence.

He chukles. A high-pitched yet cute chukles of him. My favourite sound. I look up again, just to see him looking at me, and again our eyes met. This time I didn't diverted my gaze back. I stared at him for a long time. Who knows this is might be the last time I can look at him? His perfect jawline, his thin but plump lips, his canine teeth that make me fell for him long ago, and his beautiful round eyes. 

"So you're not mute after all." he said looking at me, smiling. And again, I diverted my gaze.

I just stand there fiddling my locker's key with my fingers. We stand there for like 3 minutes not saying anything. Then he clears his throat and I immedietly look up to him again. 

"Congratulations on being second place anyway. I'll get going. See you around, Jongeun-a." he said waving his hand and turn away.

I stare at his back until it gone behind the door. I face my locker and lean my forehead. I close my eyes. 

I cannot hope again. I can't be in love again. We're in the totally different world. He's the kingka of your school, Jongeun! Wake up! He probably lose a bet or something. Don't get yourself hoping too much. Why would he, the kingka talk to you? I chukles. Of course, only a bet can make this happen. 

But deep down inside me, I feel this tingly feeling I used to have. I feel, peace and happiness. I cannot denied that I'm hoping that me and him can't be together. It's normal for every girl to have dream like that, right? Oh right, I'm not normal. But, can I, at least have a dream and he is part of it? In the middle of my messy life, can I still hope for a miracle? In the middle of my scrubs, can I still hoping for a rose?

I guess not. For he is, the un-reachable kingka, Mark Tuan.