to all the boys I’ve loved before; 801 words

Naeun wrote letters to all the boys she’d loved before

**This is inspired by a novel with the same title written by Jenny Han, one of my fav YA authors

The first letter she wrote was to her first love, Kim Jongin. They grew up together and Naeun loved how he always blew her knee every time she fell.

Dear Jongin,

We met when you crashed to my tea party with my little sister. I hated you at first because you almost broke our special Mickey Mouse cup set. But then you charmed me with your silly jokes and occasional visits every time we had roasted beef for dinner.

Came high school, you had changed. You didn’t visit me anymore or stop by my locker to give me my favourite strawberry milk every morning like you’d always do before. I know you only dated Yoona because of her big rack. I don’t even know what rack is but that’s what your friend said when I overheard your conversation during gym class.

I cried that one time you blown me off, like you’d never spend times baking cookies with me or decorate Christmas tree at my house. It was a sad thing that we drift apart because you used to be the one I think of before sleep.

Goodbye, little friend. May we become good friends again in the next live.

The second letter was shorter because she only met him for a week at a summer camp.

Dear Jaehyo,

I fall for you after you saved that girl from drowning. You were so good at swimming that I almost believed you would join the Olympics one day. I only know that you like cinnamon roll because on Tuesday, they served cinnamon rolls and you ate like half of them. I like how the sugar crumbs were all over your lips. It was cute.

I want you to read this letter but I don’t know where you live. So I guess I’ll just keep it with me until I meet you again. Whenever that is.

The third letter was to a classmate who always compliments her clothes.

Dear Taemin,

I knew Soojung once said that you are gay but I don’t buy it. You are so handsome with your soft brown hair and your sparkling eyes. You always noticed how my cornflower blue dress brings out the colour of my eyes or that my shoes actually match my bag every time we bump in the school hall.

I sat two seats behind you in History class and I always stared at the nape of your neck and your broad back. I don’t care if the guys make fun of your flowery shirts. I think it’s cool that you have a thing for flower patterns because that makes the two of us.

I also don’t mind you use perfume instead of cologne because you smell good and that is enough to make me smile the whole walk home.

The fourth and the last letter was for the one and only, her true love.

Dear Kim Myungsoo,

You are my dream guy. You play the guitar, you’re obsess of black and plaid shirts, you drink coffee every morning and you sing to me ‘Betterman’, off tune. You bought me a necklace with my initial, S.N and you brew the best chamomile.

I remember our college graduation day when we took pictures together and you dropped your flowers. I gave you some of mine because you were upset and I wanted nothing but your smile. My favourite picture was the one we took in front of the parking lot. I love it because you caught me off guard, kissing my cheeks. I was smiling in the picture and there you were, beside me, planting a chaste kiss.

Because that just how we are. You and your random moves, me and my wide smiles. I can’t think of any gloom moments with you. Maybe that one big fight we had in our sophomore year. You were jealous because I went to the movies with Dongwoo, the captain of my Mathalon team. I only did that because you flirted with the hot new professor, Miss Jung who is, by the way, has crooked teeth. Not that it matters. I know you will choose me over anyone any day.

Kim Myungsoo, if I can go back to my past and count the days I have before I meet you, I will. Because maybe, I won’t fall for anyone until I meet you. I will save my heart for you, just for you. You make me laugh and more importantly, you make me happy.

I love you, Mr. Right.

She keeps the last letter in her music box and the rest in a brown envelope. She puts the envelope in her wardrobe, underneath layers of shirts and skirts. The music box is left on her make-up table, next to their framed wedding photo, right where they belong; her heart.

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