the last goodbye.

If I Knew

Lynda rinsed her plate out in Naeem’s wide and empty kitchen. The twins, Naeem and Naim, were in the studio downstairs playing about or something.  Lynda felt bad for assuming that Amahlie was being rude, when it was just Lynda’s own paranoia. Last night when Naeem told her what she meant to him, it just made matters worse her, and totally embarrassed. He loved her. And even went as far to say that it wouldn’t matter what the woman that he was committed to (Amahlie Brandt) thought of her, that he would still be by her side. He said he loved her, but as family member? It was so confusing to her. So the pain she felt in her chest was inexplicable. She made her way down the wooden stairway, dragging her hands along the forest green walls. Lynda stopped at the end of the stair. “Hey Lynda! Come in here, we need all the creative people in here that we can get.” Naim said. Naeem avoided Janelle’s eyes, as he did the whole night. He had also made indirect jokes, comments, and only talked to her directly when he was looking into his lap. Lynda sighed and walked over to the couches that were parallel to each other. She sat on the couch that Naeem was sitting on, but it was obvious that she purposely sat as far away from Naeem as the couch would allow. She pulled her red stained lips to a tight smile and nodded at Naim. “What you two been up to for the past...oh I don’t know. Five minutes?” Lynda questioned.  “Um...” Naeem said. Naim could feel the awkwardness all night, and neither Lynda nor his brother had said that anything went down. He leaned towards Lynda searching for answers. “..Well were just playing around for a second, and chatting ya know, but uh...?” Naim said shifting his attention to his twin, “...we didn’t speak on anything…interesting.” He said.  Naim leaned back and observed Naeem as he played with the cigarette box on the nightstand next to him. “Ah.”  Lynda said. She then got up to go inspect Naeem’s recording booth. “Nice studio Na,” She said, as she walked passed him. Naeem looked at Naim. He already knew that his twin was a man of confrontation, unlike himself.  “Naim, don’t.” he said, giving Naim a look. Naim smirked and chuckled “What in heaven’s name are you speaking of, Naeem-Khan?” “Oh my god Naim, stop.” Naim stood and waved for Lynda. “Hey, Lynn could you come here for just a quick second?” He said. Naeem had no idea what his brotherl was about to say or do. He slid down into the couch, wishing it would just swallow him. Naim knew how important Lynda was to Naeem. Naim also knew that she was a very important friend to him, but he  also knew that Naeem was in love with Lynda. And that hadn’t loved a woman quite as hard as he does Lynda, not even Amahlie. Naim and Lynda also had few similar conversations about Naeem in the past. During the Fools in Nirvana tour, after the tour, and they even texted the day she got to Hawaii. She wasn’t so sure about seeing Naeem. She had heard Naeem was visiting, so she went to Naim for advice. Of course he told her that Bruno would love to see her, and that is how she ended up here. So Naim kind of just knew what Naeem and Lynda both wouldn’t dare say to each other: that they were in love. He knew knew it all when it came to those two. He also knew that they were all adults, Naeem had a girlfriend, and they were semi “famous”, so anything couldn’t just go down between them. That was why Naim couldn’t take whatever he was planning too far, but that was also why Naim wanted to know what had Naeem and Lynda so distant.

              Naim cleared his throat, as Lynda approached him. “What’s up, Naim?” She said, with a faint smile. Hel looked over at Naeem, who had his head leaned on his fist, and was playing with the cigarette pack that was now in his lap. He looked back at Lynda. “It seems like there is this thick tension in this room. Like really thick…might need a chainsaw to cut through this tension...” Lynda’s faint smile dropped. “Wha?” She responded dumbfounded. Naim smirked and stepped aside to get a full face view of Naeem, who of course, looked like he was murdering Naim in tortuous ways inside of his head. Naim began to pace around the studio. “I don’t know…” He said “There’s just this huge vibe in the studio, it…it’s not necessarily negative. Just awkward.” He said, stopping in his tracks. Naim placed his hands on the back of the couch where his brother was sitting , and scoffed to himself. “..What, don’t tell me, that Naeem FINALLY confessed his irrefutable love for you?” Naim chuckled. The studio got dead silent. Naeem quickly stood up and turned to face Naim “Not exactl-“ “No! That’s ridic-“Lynda and Naeem said in unison. Naeem slowly turned towards Lynda. She stuffed her hands in her tight jean pockets. They held an intense stare down, that went on for far too long. “Well. There’s another layer of that awkward tension.” Naim stated. “Listen guys, I’d really love to just sit in this and see what happens, but I’m totally lying. I’d rather we just all jam we got some stuff we want to show you that’s coming up on this guy’s next album...” Naim walked in between the two. “…plus, its 9:53, and we gotta get Lynda, here, to the airport soon.” Naeem nodded and walked into the recording booth. When Naeem broke eye contact, Lynda exhaled. She turned around and slumped on the couch facing the recording booth. Naim plopped down right next to her. “What happened Lynda?” He softly said, nudging her. Lynda shook her head. “Nothing.” She responded. “Really, Naim. He just...” She looked over at the twin. “...he held me extra tight yesterday after lunch and everything. And he kept emphasizing on how important I was to him, no matter what anyone said or thought of me…” Lynda lolled her head back. Naim nodded, and said nothing more. Naeem was in the booth prepped to sing for his brother and almost lover. “Hey bro, I think I want this for the last part of this song, yeah?” Naeem said. Naim nodded, then checked his watch. “Okay, man, but we probably should get going after this. Time flies, and Lynda need to be at that airport by a certain time. It , we both love her...you probably much much more, but she has a job.” Naeem's tan skin turned pink as he chuckled with embarrasment . Naim nodded and smiled at Lynda. Naeem put on the head phones in the booth and stared into Lynda's eyes. “I’m gonna miss you crazy.” Naeem said into the mic. Lynda's eyes watered as she laughed, showing all of her teeth. “Don’t worry about it shorty, we’ll speak again in the next two years!” She shouted. Naeem chuckled and shook his head, then after a moment looked at Naim. The other twiin nodded and flipped on the recorder...

 “Baby, I, I wish we were seventeen

So I could give you all the innocence

That you give to me.

No, I wouldn’t have done

All the things that I’ve done

If I knew one day you’d come,

If I knew one day you’d come.”

 

                                                                          END.

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