I still love you.

I wanted to tell you.

The one who couldn't take it anymore,

and gave up in the end.

It's been years since we broke up. We got together even after our stint on WGM. It was one of the happiest times in my life. I could finally call you mine, and YongSeo was actually real. I wanted to share my feelings with the world, but I wanted to be selfish and keep you with me all the time. I thought you felt the same, but I guess not. Despite all those years after the break-up, I still know how I feel about you. My heart still flutters hearing your name. There were so many times I wanted to tell you how much I loved you still. My heart broke watching you on stage or on TV. Watching you from afar was the only thing I could do. Hoping that you were healthy and not drinking coffee all the time, or skipping breakfast in the mornings cause of your busy schedules. There were so many times I wanted to pick up the phone and text you or call you, but I know you were doing well without me. You gave up our relationship, and left. So I guess you're doing well.

I miss you more than I hate you.

I long for you more than I'm sad.

Is this not it? Is this not it?

I hated you for breaking up with me. When we first met on WGM, I had no experience in love and relationships. You were the first. My first kiss. My first love. You taught me how to love. I gave my all in loving you then. And I know deep down, no matter how much I said that I hated you, I still miss you. I miss you so much. Your words that's like a melody to my ears. Serenading me in the middle of the night over the phone when I used to miss your voice. Your voice like a lullaby, gave me a feeling that even now, I don't know how to describe. I feel sad thinking about the times we shared on and off screen. The first birthday we spent together, you gave me a goguma field. Two rows field, but it was sincere from the heart and I was thankful. And our anniversaries spent with each other because we couldn't risk going out of the house were still the best memories I had of us. I long for you, for your touch. I long for it so much that it makes me sad. I wish I could hold your hand once more. Feel your warmth with your arms wrapped around me. And those kisses that left me embarrassed each time, giving me butterflies. I miss you. I don't know why you left, but I wished you didn't.

If we bump into each other, what would happen?

Would I hide from you amongst the crowd,

even if it's only a waste of insignificant feelings.

We are idols. Even after our break-up, there was no avoiding you. You are the leader of Korea's best band, while I'm the maknae of Korea's leading girl group. We were bound to bump into each other at music shows no matter how much I tried to avoid you, but I tried nonetheless. When I heard that CNBlue would be attending the same music show SNSD was doing, I'd prepare myself. If I saw you walking in my direction, I'd walk in the opposite direction and quicken my steps so I didn't have to face you. I didn't want you to see the pain in my eyes that you caused. I wanted you to remember me smiling and laughing. I wanted you to know that I was doing well without you, just as you are without me. When I see your CNBlue members, I would greet them cheerfully as I normally would. I wanted them to tell you that I am happy. During shows, when I had no choice but be around you, I wondered if you saw my face amongst the crowd of people. I doubt you did.

You may be smiling from happiness now.

You, the person who left hurtful scars more than happy memories.

I tried emptying out my heart that's filled with you,

hoping something movie-like would happen to me.

I see you smiling to everyone all the time, I can't help but wonder if you're really happy without me. I didn't want to accept it. You used to say that your smiles were because of me, and that your happiness was seeing me happy. I guess those were all lies. The same day you chose to leave, you also left scars. Hurtful scars that I will remember more than the memories we shared together. Some nights I wondered why you left me like you did. But I would end up crying and I knew that this isn't it. This isn't the way it was supposed to be. I am supposed to be happy. I tried moving on and forgetting you. I met other guys, but I couldn't help but compare them to you. None of them were as charming as you. None of them were as handsome as you. None of them made me laugh like you did. None of them had your toothy grin that made me crazy. I kept hoping that maybe you'd come back for me, like how the prince realized that he loved his princess before it was too late. But I was wrong.

Even I feel sorry for myself,

I want to bury this finished love.

This is goodbye, Jung Yonghwa. I don't want to feel sorry for myself thinking about this unrequited love of mine. Our story has ended and I should bury this finished love. I will forget you. I will bury the pain you made me feel. I will bury the memories we shared together. I will move on and be happy without you. I will succeed and achieve more without you by my side. I will be okay.

But this can't be it, this can't be it, this can't be it.

But this cannot be the end. Not like this. This can't be it.