A minute that equals a beautiful two hours. Filled with earnest movements, he danced out through the melodious, slightly-mourn slow music blasting over the concert venue's wall. He wondered sometimes if it was really the price of every sacrifice he made, but then again it was the vow he scratched the very first day he entered the practice room. It was his dream to perform, to dance, to tell billion unspoken words through emotional movements. Everything comes with a price, so does his dream. He lost his youth, his freedom partially, and did he also lose his chance.

A chance to pay back all the unintentional faults he did for her.

A chance to be there on her precious birthday.

A chance to draw a smile like how he pictured on his mind before–a reverie he has yet to transform into reality.

A chance to meet her, touch her, feel her.

Jongin had done a great job camouflaging his bitterness in front of the audience. Faking a smile was no longer impossible for him in front of his fans. All they would care about was to see the boys satisfying each of every demanding expectation, making them an object for mere satisfaction. And Jongin had grown used to it and rather chose to live the path for the rest of his life for the sake of his life passion to perform. As much as he loves living a real-life, he loves his career more just like his own blood. And without the audience knowing, through all the songs, dances, smiles, and words were spoken that night, the only thing going through Jongin's head was a scenario of how Soojung's birthday was supposed to be like. 

The concert ended as they lifted down the stage slowly, bidding goodbye to the very last sight, and dispersed from the crowd. In a flash of seconds, all the smile on the members' faces were gone for tiredness. Their knees felt like giving up, having to dance along to five songs without break in the last minutes they're up on the stage. Most of them were desperate for something to lay on but nor sweats and racing breathe could distract Jongin’s mind from the burden.

Jongin slammed open EXO's waiting room door in the backstage, walking so fast he almost knocked on the desk, and slouched himself on the couch. He checked his phone and it’s 23:39 pm already, meaning that the 25th of October was drawing closer. He was too excited to even remember that he had work right on her birthday, out of the country to make it worse.

He tossed his phone in between his hands, sulking and his face couldn’t scream stronger dejection. Suho caught Jongin’s behavior the entire day and decided to step up. They had four interviews waiting and knowing how Jongin is, he would probably give in through the third interview with his current mood condition that's filled with rage over the fact that he couldn't be on Soojung's side for her birthday.

“If you’re that much pissed off, give her a call,” Suho said, claiming the empty spot beside him where no one wanted to approach. Even Baekhyun and Lay chose to lay on the cold marble floor rather than dealing with Jongin for now.

Jongin grimaced. “No difference.”

“At least she knows that you care about her birth–"

“Shut the up, will you?” Jongin got up and rushed out of the room with a loud door slam following him behind. 

Sehun unknowingly laughed right after the door was sealed. Seeing Suho’s priceless stoned face was always entertaining for him. “He told the leader to shut the up! Oh, how funny.”

“He should be the one to shut the up though,” Jongdae thundered. “Look how that child never grows up. I wonder if Soojung will bother to deal him with such an attitude.”

“Then what? Like there’s someone who can change his ed up attitude, right?” Chanyeol said as he took over the spot filled by Jongin before.

Suho heaved a heavy sigh. It’s his duty to straighten up things between the members he wants it or not, no matter how boiling he is inside. “I’ll go talk to him.”

“There’s no use talking to him, hyung. Call Jongdo. Let his brother bring him back to sense,” Sehun nonchalantly said.

“What happened with him though?” Lay, who was zoning out the entire time from exhaustion, finally aware of the situation. People were suddenly serious and bitter, their faces were frowning except for Sehun whose face looked more like he’s underestimating Jongin’s entire being.

“Where were you, Yixing?” Xiumin sighed. “He’s been planning things for Soojung’s birthday, from telling Jongdo to replace him for work today, bringing her to SM Coex Artium, giving her his phone number and stupid stuff, but the managers denied his demand. Replacing him with Jongdo is too risky. That's why they don't let Jongin come back to Korea tonight.

“Really? So we’ve been with Jongdo the entire time?!” seemed like Lay was already in his normal state, being clueless and disconnected almost the entire time.

Baekhyun, who was lying exactly arm-to-arm beside him, wrestled him but somewhat looked like he was snuggling Lay. “He said the manager said no!!! Hyung! Will you ever–Oh, Gosh. It was just a surprise birthday plan.”

While the members were discussing over things inside the waiting room, outside the balcony stood Jongin still with a convoluted mind. There’s no one he's disappointed in more than his own self. The hours ticked by and it got closer to 00:00 am and still, he hadn’t spared even a word for Soojung. He didn’t know if it’s necessary to still give her a call, but he wanted to be there for her, not merely just a short call. He was upset with things and hope that none of his surroundings ever existed. For some reason tonight, he loathed his decision to go through this path. If only he was living a normal life, approaching Soojung wouldn’t be something impossible. He wouldn’t have to consider people’s attention, his stage image, the group reputation, and all that came with his choice to be an idol.

His phone rang and Jongdo was across the phone. Jongin dithered whether to pick up the phone or to let it pass. He wanted to oppose but he couldn’t lie that he needed someone to talk to. 

“What do you want?” Jongin answered rudely.

There was silence for a while before Jongdo speaks. “Is that how you answer your older brother's call? I might be your twins, but I'm two minutes older than you.”

“Cut it. What do you want?” he spat.

Jongdo heaved heavily, knowing his brother's sulky attitude. “You will live your life difficultly if you’re still acting like this over a small thing.”

“Small thing?” he sneered sarcastically. “Small thing, you said? You don’t know how mad and furious I am the whole day? Do you think her birthday is nothing for me? You think I chose my job over her? You think I’m joking whenever I told you I’m serious about her? You think her entire existence is a joke for me?!”

Jongdo was startled by the sudden outburst but tried to