today was a very long day. i can see it in the way your eyelids slowly dip down and your head softly rests on my shoulder. it’s usually the other way around. we’ve been editing footage all afternoon and i think this is all really getting to you. there are times when sadness washes over us with such indifference but unparalleled vigor. a couple of days ago you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you feared feeling helpless. i could barely make out your figure in the dark but just like that night i kissed you, i had never seen you so clearly. your voice cracked as you told me your fears and it felt like you were whispering as if someone was outside listening in. i told you to remember that day on the plane when i told you to capture what captures you. i made it sound so easy but on days like these i wish you knew how hard it is to do that for me. sometimes as i film these people and their stories and their home, it hits me that this is some of the last footage people will have of this place. we can capture what captures us what if it slips away from our fingers? on days like these i also wonder why we never talked about the kiss. you could just as easily slip away. it’s your favorite time of the day and you’re missing it. we usually make dinner by now and i watch you edit so intently as you rewatch every little second and i can see how precious it is to you and i don’t know if you know how much i admire you but i do the way your chin rests on your palm and your