I remember the tears falling on my pillowcase. They were unexpected and unwelcomed because they wouldn't fix anything. They wouldn't fix the fact that he would no longer be my side. My phone stopped ringing and his messages stopped coming; I think he felt shy. Sometimes, when the sky is dark and grey, I miss him. The warmth of his voice fills my ears and his childish jokes bring a smile to my face. But they're old jokes and I bet he sounds different now. He's older and stronger; he's a stranger. I don't think about him too much, though. On sunny days, I'll immerse myself in books and hide behind the pages of Shakespeare and Tolstoy so he can't find me. I'll practice until the early hours of the morning so the sun can't catch me. But I don't think about him at all. I just think about his smile and the way he tried to cook for me on the show. The Thai prince broke my heart and he doesn't even know it. He doesn't know I didn't sleep for months, afraid that if I slept I might miss his text message asking me to come out late at night. He doesn't know that whenever I see him on music shows, my heart drops and I suddenly crave his touch. I can't make eye contact for too long because his eyes are black holes; they me in and will eventually tear me apart. With just one smile, he could break all the walls I have built to shut him out. With one wave, with one touch, he could ignite a thousand suns inside my heart, and he doesn't even know it. Tiffany is lucky. She doesn't have cameras and crews weighing down on them. She has his pure, genuine heart and she will always have that advantage because what they have is real. But what we had felt real. When I found out they were together,