They talked all night.

Some of the topics were mindless and short, while the other ones pegged into the furthest corners of their hearts. The feeling of being cut open without feeling scared was unfamiliar, but it was slowly welcomed to the both of them.

"He threw you in?!"

Byunghyun laughed at the younger's exclaimation and continued his story.

"Yeah, he threw me into the shower to wake me up! Like, I know that I'm not the most easiest person to wake up, but water? Really? After getting coffee, he spent the rest of the day apologizing to me for what happened earlier. I just pretended to be mad because he looked cute saying sorry."

The boy laughed and they continued bingeing on their delivered Chinese food. It was already 6 am in the morning.

"Hey," Byunghyun said in between bites, "you never told me your name."

"Chan."

"Chan?"

The teen just nodded and Byunghyun couldn't help but sigh.

"Okay, Chan. What happened?"

There was a bitter silence that entered when Chan didn't answer immediately. There was a pregnant pause and neither of them were feeling as comfortable as a couple minutes ago.

"You saw."

Byunghyun's eyebrows twitched at the half-hearted response. After a couple hours, he hoped that they wouldn't have this kind of problem.

"I did. You got beat up by some guys that you bumped into, then...now your wounds are slowly healing under the clothes I let you borrow. I'm talking about what's in your eyes."

Chan looked up with a questionable face. "What are you talking about?" he asked in no haste.

"You're crying."

What Byunghyun then saw was a frantic teenager trying to wipe away his trailing tears with his sleeves and trying to stutter out a reply.

'He's...really just a child,' Byunghyun thought sadly. Even after all these hours just talking to the teenager, Byunghyun forgot that he was an adult. Everything they talked about; dreams, aspirations, school life...age doesn't really matter? The fact that he cried in front of someone younger still shakes him, but maybe his feelings were childish. What was he doing with his life? All he's been doing is running away and suddenly-- Byunghyun looked up when he heard the stuttering die down but his eyes hurt. It made another crack on his heart to quietly watch the other like a stranger. This wasn't the time to think about himself.

"...I didn't know I-I was crying. I'm..I'm sorry.." was said quickly and Byunghyun was about to turn his head to look away, but the teen kept talking. "I just..haven't felt this happy in a long time..."

That comment made the both of their breathes hitch, but Byunghyun's was faster because he came to that realization too.

'I haven't been this happy in a while'  rang in both their heads. Sitting on the ground, eating cheap delivery in a lamp-shade lit room, talking to someone on coincidence because coincidence; it was normal to Byunghyun. With the fight going on with Chanhee and the struggling of trying to finish his next novel, and then having the stress of hitting someone with his car; everything was piling onto him. Maybe it's been longer than that. His life couldn't fit in having normal schedules or normal conversations in his life anymore. It was surrounded by a busy work day and long nights of excessive passion. Some times it wouldn't even be that. Chanhee and him still argued but it was over work hours and just...time. Byunghyun wanted to spend time with his lover, but he just couldn't stop working. When his boyfriend offered to take a couple days off, he immediately said no. He said that the way they lived was fine with him. Chanhee wouldn't talk to him for three days after that. Even within those three days, Byunghyun still found a blanket on him and a cup of coffee next to him when he fell asleep at his desk. All these little things, he wouldn't trade any of those moments away for a normal life. A normal life consisted of having a stable job and controlled, calm nights. That isn't what he wanted.

The two males just stared at their laps, but they understood.

"Happiness doesn't have to be normal" was whispered in the air but by who? Neither of them knew who said it but this fact was acknowledged silently. It was a truth that they accepted obliviously. A ring of a phone snapped them out of their daze.

"I'm sorry-"
"It's fine, just answer it, hyung."

Byunghyun flashed a smile and removed himself from the room to answer absent-mindedly, "Hello?"

"Hello? Byunghyun-ah.."

Byunghyun's mind went blank at the sound of Chanhee's voice. It was soft like a pillow, but hoarse like thick whispering. It was as if Chanhee was really there to be with him, next to him...

"..eat well?"

"Huh, what?"

"I asked if you ate."

"Oh uh, I did. I ate with a friend last night. Or is it morning already? Ahahaha," Byunghyun knew he was babbling, "it was some really good Chinese food. It's been a while since I've used chopsticks so I felt a little weir-"

"I miss you," cut his words off promptly and Byunghyun kept his mouth shut. His lips trembled but he held back. He suddenly thought of Chan and quickly left the apartment all together. He didn't want his friend to see him like this. There wasn't really anywhere that he could go to so he just stood next to his door.

"What are you saying, idiot."

There was a slight wheeze on the other side of the phone and Byunghyun felt bad. He didn't mean to sound heartless but he couldn't just accept Chanhee back like that. Something was holding him back.

"Byung-ah.." He was using Byunghyun's pet name now. The tears started wielding up, and his knees gave out so quickly. Byunghyun was sitting on the ground now, head hung low. Since when did love start feeling like this?