The aura that surrounded Hyunseung when he entered the studio was not lost on anyone. Junhyung looked at Yoseob, who looked back at him with the same expression.

 

They watched as he walked over to the other side of the room to put his bag down on the floor and remove his jacket.

 

Yoseob, being the forever cheery person he was, bounded over to greet him as usual.

 

Junhyung, being the reserved person that he was, hung back and continued to make his edits on his notes, though he glanced up from time to time at the other two.

 

Hyunseung seemed to barely respond to Yoseob’s banter. On normal occasions, Junhyung observed that the boy was kind of quiet and he usually nodded except when he made seemingly out-of-this-world comments.

 

The hyperactive blond said something and a brief smile appeared on the other's face. At least he looked to be in a slightly better mood now. But that's just how Yoseob was with people. Junhyung envied him just a bit for it.

 

Yoseob was the boy that everyone loved and could never hate. If anyone did, god bless their souls, they would have to contend with just about every single person who knew him or laid eyes on him, or just one angry boyfriend.

 

"Shall we give this a run?" Junhyung cleared his throat and looked at them.

 

Practice got underway quickly, seeing how there was only a week left to the first round of the competitions.

 

It wasn’t perfect.

 

But that was okay.

 

This, however, wasn’t even near acceptable.

 

His form was far from his usual level of precision. His moves were sloppier than usual and his timing was off.

 

The rapper watched silently as the dancer stopped after making a mistake, glared at his own reflection in the mirror and repeated the move again. He squatted down beside his MP3 player, hit the replay button and went through the routine again.

 

Junhyung snapped his notebook closed and placed it on the floor beside him before easing himself up.

 

“Is that the choreography for the last part?” He asked as he walked over. “Not done yet?”

 

Hyunseung stopped, hand in mid-air. He shook his head in frustration as if attempting to clear his head.

 

“Yeah,” the orange-haired male muttered, not bothering to turn from the mirror.

 

Junhyung continued to stare at Hyunseung who had abruptly walked off to take a drink. He wondered if the male knew how much, or actually, how little time they had left. One week wasn’t a lot of time especially if they wanted to get everybody synchronized and in good form.

 

“We don’t have much time left.”

 

“Yeah, I know.” Hyunseung’s reply was quiet, fingers gripping the bottle.

 

“And I know this may not mean much to you-“

 

The bottle slammed on the floor.

 

 “-because it’s not your goal or anything like-”

 

Hyunseung stood up, trembling slightly.

 

“And how would you know that?”

 

Junhyung involuntarily took a step back as Hyunseung fixed his gaze on him for the first time ever since he had stepped into the studio. The direct force of his look as Hyunseung’s brown eyes hardened and bored straight into his own was shocking to Junhyung, who had never seen him like this before.

 

“How would you know that?” Hyunseung repeated himself, a little louder this time. “Would you really know what I want?”

 

“I don’t.”

 

“Yes, you don’t,” the dancer shrugged, a humorless smile on his face. “Please don’t act like you do. Why would you care anyway? Even if I did put in my best, so what?”

 

A hollow laugh.

 

“You don’t even know me that well.”

 

The Hyunseung in front of him was upset and openly so. It was scaring Junhyung.

 

“Look, Yoseob was the one who asked me to join in. Not you.”

 

He took a deep breath.

 

“He bothered, okay? You know what, forget it.”

 

Hyunseung picked up his stuff, tossed it into his bag and headed for the door.

 

“You know,” he paused, hand hovering on the doorknob as he turned his head backwards. “It must be nice. Getting to do what you want you to do without being hated for it. Without having to act like some sort of criminal. With people supporting you… There’s no point in being talented if it’s banned right? Appreciate what you’ve got.”

 

That look on Hyunseung’s face as he uttered those words were the very knives of guilt that now stabbed at Junhyung. It was his first time seeing the cool composure broken. Though what got to Junhyung the most were the underlying flashes of pain in his features and especially his eyes as he spoke, his voice cracking with emotion.

 

The door closed with a click leaving a stunned Junhyung standing there.

 

“Jun, you idiot,” Yoseob sighed.

 

He didn’t need Yoseob to tell him that he had just made a mistake.

 

Hyunseung… Why? What is it that you’re hiding?

 

“Well, don’t tell me you’re just gonna stand there too?”

 

Junhyung snapped out of it and ran out.

 

---

 

It was just as Hyunseung feared.

 

It was the feeling that one got when one just knew something was going to happen and the sinking feeling when it really did.

 

So when Jiyong walked into the café and took at seat at the counter, Hyunseung just nodded awkwardly and stepped out to take orders on the floor instead.

 

Having Yoseob and Junhyung walk in (or more like Yoseob half pushing half kicking Junhyung in) a while later did nothing to help the awkwardness at all. In fact, it only made Hyunseung feel like throwing a cup in their direction.

 

He sighed as he brought the used cutlery back to the counter, making sure to avoid eye contact with the two who had just entered.

 

“Hyunseung.”

 

His grip on the cup tightened at the sound of his name.

 

Hyunseung closed his eyes and turned around slowly, opening them again to finally look at Jiyong. Of all the people he knew, Jiyong was the one person he couldn’t say no to. It was the same then, and the same now.

 

“How have you been doing?”

 

Hyunseung could hear the uncertainty in his voice. Clearly it wasn’t just Hyunseung who was finding this difficult.

 

To be honest, Hyunseung had a lot he wanted to say and ask Jiyong but they remained stuck in his throat and refused to be put into words.

 

To Jiyong, his best friend.

 

To Jiyong, the person who showed him the world of dance and gave him a new meaning to life.

 

To Jiyong, the one whom he could count on no matter what and whom he cried to when things went wrong.

 

To Jiyong, the senior he fell in love with over the years.

 

To Jiyong, who broke his heart.

 

Even after such a long time, Hyunseung could still feel a stab in his chest whenever he thought about it. Now that Jiyong himself was in front of him, the imaginary knife seemed to twist itself deeper.

 

Everything was good, perfect even. But Hyunseung had to destroy it. And in the end, he ran away like the coward he was.

 

“Fine… I’m doing fine,” he finally managed, forcing a smile.

 

“Ah, I see.”

 

There was another round of awkward silence as Jiyong sipped his drink and Hyunseung fiddled with the rag on the counter.

 

“Oh by the way-“

 

“Seung-ah-“

 

They both stopped mid-sentence..

 

Jiyong gestured for him to go on.

 

“I started dancing again,” Hyunseung continued again. He was just fishing around for a topic to talk about because obviously they couldn’t just stand there and remain in awkward silence forever. So he told him about Junhyung, Yoseob and everything that has happened.

 

The older male nodded and listened while he talked, a sad smile on his face.

 

Hyunseung wished he wouldn’t do that. It was only making things worse because Hyunseung knew why he did. He knew that Jiyong was thinking about the times when they used to talk, just the two of them. He was thinking of the times when they used to be close and now, that was gone. And Hyunseung, wanted him to stop because he was thinking of the exact same thing too.

 

“Oh yeah sorry about that day,” Jiyong’s hands were clasped together in front of him as he fidgeted with his rings. “With Seunghyun and all.”

 

“Seunghyun?” Hyunseung asked in confusion. The only Seunghyun he knew was Lee Seunghyun, or Seungri as he preferred to be called, the little stubborn maknae of their group at that time.

 

The blond nodded with a wry smile that tugged one side of his mouth higher than the other. “He’s also called Seunghyun. Choi Seunghyun. Though he just goes by the nickname of T.O.P to avoid being mixed up with Seungri. We met him in university and found out he was interested in music too, though his dancing could use some help.”

 

“Hyung,” Hyunseung spoke up before he could stop himself. “Is it me or do you have some weird or phermones for attracting people with ‘Seung’ in their names?”

 

And Jiyong laughed, visibly relieved.

 

“Looks like that part of you hasn’t changed much,” he grinned. “Though you make me sound like some horrible ert.”

 

A small smile formed on the lips of the orange-haired waiter. “You mean you weren’t? I do remember a time…”

 

“That was an accident,” Jiyong cut in quickly. “It was the computer’s fault. And not like Seungri wasn’t already exploring such things on his own already.”

 

They both shared a knowing smile, the invisible wall of tension broken.

 

Jiyong lowered his head suddenly. “You know… I kind of understand how you felt.”

 

Hyunseung didn’t even need to ask. He was referring to that incident. When he made the mistake of confessing to the very person in front of him.

 

“It… Must have hurt a lot,” the usually eloquent man was struggling to find the words to express himself.

 

Hyunseung wanted to glance away but he forced himself not to. Instead he gripped the edge of the counter.

 

“Seunghyun.”

 

It wasn’t a question. It was statement.

 

“Yeah…” Jiyong nodded. “Which is why it kinda pisses me off that he’s letting one girl get to him so bad. And conveniently, forget that the rest of us are around.”

 

Hyunseung wasn’t sure whether to be happy that this was probably some form of karma getting back at Jiyong on his behalf because technically it was Hyunseung’s own fault for running away from it in the first place.

 

A hand reached over and grasped Hyunseung’s fair ones.

 

“I’m sorry, for everything.”

 

With that apology, Hyunseung could feel his heart clench tight and his eyes getting wet.

 

“I’m sorry too,” was all that he could whisper in reply.

 

“Hyunseun- Oh sorry am I interrupting…”

 

The orange-haired boy nearly jumped in shock at the sound of Junhyung’s voice as he quickly withdrew his hand and looked down, blinking away any traces of tears.

 

“Could I talk to you for a bit?” Junhyung asked, giving Jiyong a quick once over before directing his eyes towards his own.

 

Hyunseung nodded, not trusting his voice at the moment. He removed his apron and followed Junhyung outside.

 

The taller male turned the corner into an alley and waited for him to draw closer.

 

Hyunseung worried the bottom of his lip, still trying to regain his composure from earlier. It felt as if his heart was still jumping around and just before it had started to settle, this had to happen.

 

There was only one of two things that could happen. Junhyung would tell him to leave and he would totally understand why. Hyunseung knew, he shouldn’t have burst out like that. Hyunseung knew he could be unreasonable and childish at times and if Junhyung had a bad impression of him now, it was definitely his fault and no one else’s.

 

“Hyunseung, I’m sorry.”

 

The dancer could only blink and answer dumbly. “What?”

 

Junhyung fidgeted in his spot and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for what happened that time. It was stupid of me and you’re right, I wasn’t really thinking about what I was saying-“

 

It took a while for Hyunseung to process what was being said but when he finally did, the twinge of guilt resurfaced.

 

“No, it’s… Me who should be apologizing.”

 

Great work Hyunseung.

 

Two people whom he should’ve been apologizing to for mistakes that he himself had made had apologized to him first. All it did, Hyunseung concluded, was to prove that he was a coward. Who was he that made people apologise even though it wasn’t their fault?

 

Hyunseung hated it.

 

“I’m sorry for bursting out on you like that,” he said, trying his best to keep his voice as steady as possible. “Don’t worry about it. I just had a lot on my mind.”

 

Junhyung nodded. “Yeah, Yoseob spoke to me…”

 

“Oh.” Hyunseung wasn’t sure what else he could or should say though he wondered how much Yoseob knew. That boy’s information network was scarily extensive and accurate.

 

The older male felt a concerned hand on his shoulder and he froze at the sudden touch. His heart however, jumped at it.

 

“If you need someone to talk to or anything,” Junhyung continued awkwardly. “You can erm… Tell us. We’ll be willing to listen.”

 

If he could, Hyunseung would love to talk and just spill everything to someone but after what happened last time with Jiyong…

 

No, he couldn’t let it happen again.

 

Hyunseung couldn’t afford to lose any more people due his own emotions and dependency. Especially not this time, just when he might have found somewhere to stay. To belong again.

 

He gently but firmly removed Junhyung’s hand from his shoulder. “Thanks but I’ll be fine.”

 

Hyunseung flinched as Junhyung squeezed his hand softly.

“I’m serious, Hyunseung,” Junhyung insisted. “Just talk to us okay?”

 

He needed to change topics now, before it went any further and his brain went on overload as it tried to process everything that had happened since this afternoon. So Hyunseung pointed out the first thing he saw.

 

“Junhyung, why is your shirt wet?”

 

“Oh that,” he attempted to cover up the coke stain from earlier on his shirt, letting go of Hyunseung’s hand. “That’s another story. It’s Yoseob’s fault really.”

 

Hyunseung simply stared.

 

“Junhyung, if you really wanted to bathe in coke, you should’ve just told me. We have lots in the fridge.”

 

“It’s okay,” Junhyung shook his head instantly. “I’m fine. You don’t have to.”

 

“Oh,” Hyunseung replied, slightly disappointed.

 

He made it a point to remember to splash coke on Junhyung the next time he was mad. It seemed like a good way to relieve stress and make him suffer, especially for this spot that he was putting him in right now.

 

“You should be getting back to work, I guess,” the rapper placed his hands in his pockets. “Sorry for keeping you out so long.”

 

Hyunseung was quick to reply. “Please Junhyung. Stop with the apologies.”

 

The taller male nodded and started to walk backwards out of the alley. “Right. I’ll be heading back first then.”

 

Hyunseung sighed and allowed himself a small relieved laugh.

 

Yoseob was right. Junhyung was really a stupid idiot. A stupid idiot that reminded him a little of Jiyong at times. And that scared him.

 

Hyunseung bit his lip to keep himself from smiling. It was the first time he had seen Junhyung so concerned and it was so unlike his usual self that it was actually funny.

 

As it was, everything seemed to be alright again for now and he was determined to keep it this way.

 

Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Stupid Jun.