Prompt 18: "Every second here makes my heart beat faster; finally think I found what I'm chasing after." - Alive, Krewella

Marionette

"Doctor Lee, the patient in room 10B is next."

"Thank you. Tell him I'll be there shortly."

Scribbling some last minute details on her chart, Soeun sighed as she briefly glanced at the paper.  It looked identical to at least half of the last twenty she had filled out during the day.  Another patient, another fracture, same cause.  Despite being a young woman not even in her thirties, she lead an established and renowned career.  The most brilliant mind to graduate from the most prestigious medical school, to attain the most prestigious fellowships and work under the most prestigious minds.  

Her parents had engrained the mentality that hard work and books paved the path for an affluent, prosperous, and fulfilling future.  When her parents decided that they wanted to have a child, they immediately began planning the future.  What classical music was most suitable for a future doctor, what color blankets would promote an active brain, what teachers the child would have from entrance to graduate--they mapped it all out.  Instead of reading fairy tales at bedtime, her mother would read chapters from Biology and Chemistry textbooks. When her classmates screamed over SHINee and Super Junior, she listened to Mozart and Bach.  When it came time to worry about university, she never panicked once.  Why should she?  University was part of the plan and she never deviated from it.

That was her, Doctor Lee Soeun--from child genius to head of Orthopedics Surgery, she was the epitome of success.  

Placing the form into the proper tray, she tried to ignore the whispers of nurses as they added a tally to their "secret" list.  It was a waste of their time to be amazed at how many patients she saw in a day--it was not like one patient was totally unique from the rest.  Every person who came in with a broken bone was there for one of two reasons: either they had a genetic disorder that made them more susceptible to injury or someone else caused it.  One brief conversation told her all she needed to know (she preferred to spend her time performing a diagnostic report opposed to performing the actual surgery--there were trained professionals whose abilities almost matched her own to do that).  

Everything happened for a reason because there existed a man-made cause.

People landed themselves in the uncomfortable chairs of shame because they did something stupid and more often than not, that stupid thing they did was trust another person.  Whether it was trusting someone's idea that doing skateboard tricks in a busy public street was completely safe and rational or trusting someone who would only betray and injure the person himself, people were stupid.  That was why she kept to herself.  She had no interest in befriending any of the staff who worked with or under her.  She trusted their intelligence and skill--otherwise they would not have been hired at such a renowned hospital--but beyond procedures and facts, she held no faith.

Walking towards the bathroom, she stole a glance at the tally marks. 

Twenty one.

She was behind schedule, an anomaly the first of its kind for her.  Despite being late for her last appointment, Soeun continued on her detour.  She needed to take a breath before the boy in 10B.  Throwing the door open, she veered straight towards the sinks.  Upon taking in her appearance, she almost scoffed.  Her hair was in its typical ponytail, sleek and professional.  Her makeup was scarce and clean, her coat ironed.  Her eyes, though, were exhausted, filled with anxiety, fatigue and the slightest hint of excitement.

She was a doctor--a skilled and revered one at that--why should she be avoiding the last patient of the day.  Most doctors would run at the chance to finish and go home.  After all, a patient was meant to be a patient, nothing more, nothing less.  Even so, she couldn't help but feel the slightest bit reluctant to attend to her last appointment.  

Doctor Lee was objective. 

(Lee Soeun was objective.)

Doctor Lee was critical.

(Lee Soeun was critical.)

Doctor Lee was rational.

(Lee Soeun was rational.)

Doctor Lee was unprepared.

(Lee Soeun was afraid.)

"Hello.  I am Doctor Lee.  I will be attending to you today." She said clearly as she observed the guy in front of her.  He was good looking and smiley--twenty years old.  People only sat in his spot, right in front of her on the patient's table, if they were broken somewhere and in most cases, they wore an expression of fury.  Someone put them there.  But behold, he continued to smile--dimple and all--as she calculated him.

"Hello. I'm Zhang Yixing, but you can call me Lay."

"Well, Mr. Zhang, what brought you in today?"

Grimacing as he turned slightly, she lifted up his shirt to get a good look at his back, only to see no signs of bruising or breaking.  

"It's my ankle." He said sheepishly, rubbing his neck.  Immediately letting go of his shirt, she focused on his ankle.  There was definitely swelling--how did he even make it up on to the table? "My back is just a side effect from dancing too much."

Nodding, she continued on with her examination, lightly pressing his ankle while recording her findings.  He needed x-rays, she needed to send a nurse in with a wheelchair to send him over.  As he winced when she touched a particular spot, she quietly apologized.  She needed to finish this up quickly so she could review her flashcards for her interview for the position of head of orthopedic surgery.  The panel was already impressed by her, but she refused to allow herself to find comfort in the notion of a bias in her direction.  Preparation was what mattered.

"How did you hurt your ankle?"

She watched as he chuckled and shrugged slightly from embarrassment. His eyes shined as he looked her way.

"I tripped."

So much for last minute studying.

"You tripped?"

"Yeah, it's actually a funny story..." He trailed off, but seeing her expectant look, he continued. "I was dancing with my friends on the streets when suddenly I got caught in my own shoelaces.  How pitiful, right?"

After a pause, she put her pen down. "Is there any chance that you didn't just trip, Mr. Zhang?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, his face contorting in confusion.  "I don't really remember it too much..."

"Amnesia is not a symptom of a shattered ankle." She deadpanned.  Upon registering the surprised look on his face, Soeun realized what she had said and immediately apologized.  She had not intended to speak that aloud, but the guy's reaction was absurd.  He got injured a day ago yet he was unable to recall if someone sabotaged his performance?

"It's okay, don't worry about it--please, speak your mind Doctor.  I tend to be forgetful.  But in all honesty, I just tripped."

A trained dancer just tripped.  Right.  Part of her wanted to ask him if he thought she was stupid, saying things like that, but she restrained herself.  Head of orthopedic surgery ran through her head as she took in his innocent smile.

"Ah, I see." She said skeptically.

"Everything happens for a reason, you know?  Maybe this is God's way of telling me that pursuing dancing as a career was the wrong choice."  He mused thoughtfully.  Toying with the purple headphones that sat in his lap, his face continued to shift as he contemplated his own words.  Soeun, on the other hand, couldn't believe it.  His future was pulled out from underneath him and he thought it was God's will?  He must have known that someone got jealous or threatened by his talent and eliminated the competition--in an industry such as dance, it was common and likely.  An obviously skilled dancer falling was just an insult to her intelligence and a sign of his ignorance.

"May I say something to you, as a person?  You're welcome to say 'no,' for I won't hold back."

"No, please, speak freely!  My feelings can handle it, I'm a big boy." 

"The saying 'everything happens for a reason' is just the ignorant's manner of finding comfort in the cruelty of the unknown."

"Please don't take my answers as insults to your intelligence, Doctor Lee--your reputation proceeds you.  The nurse told me how lucky I was to have you as my diagnostic examiner.  But what's done is done, pointing fingers--not that I even care to know where to point them--won't do me any good.  What's the use in lingering in the past?  I just want to heal and move forward."

Lost in her thoughts, Soeun slowly danced around the hospital staff on her way to his room.  Turning to her right, she was met with a fork in the hallway.  Leading directly to the patient's residency, the left was the most practical choice--going to the right meant passing through Oncology and Radiology first.  The time difference wasn't that great, but it was enough for her to veer right.  

He would just have to wait a little bit longer.

"Mr. Zhang, your x-rays have come back.  Your ankle will require surgery."  She explained, carefully gauging his reaction.  He didn't seem as upset as she had expected--when most people heard surgery, they automatically thought of everything that could go wrong.  Sure, surgery was nothing to laugh at, but some people just did not know how to handle the news.  The chances of something going wrong--especially with her as the surgeon--was slim.

"Okay."

After a beat, she continued. 

"If you're agreeing to the surgery, then we can perform it in half an hour.  It's a simple and quick procedure, but you will need to be prepped with pain medications prior.  Do you have any allergies?"

Shaking his head, he glanced down at his ankle.  He was clearly upset with his situation--why did he want to believe that some greater being injured him for a "reason?"  Wasn't the point of putting faith in something beyond you for the sake of salvation or something along those lines?  Soeun could not understand him.  The concept of believing in something invisible to the eye went against everything she was raised to think about, but even so, she tried to understand the appeal of organized religion--but this, this was confusing.  

"Doctor, will you be performing the surgery?"

Stealing a look at her watch, she sighed.  Her interview was in half an hour--it wasn't plausible for her to conduct the operation.  Her specialty was in diagnosing bone damage anyway, there were plenty of better qualified surgeons to treat him.

"No, Mr. Zhang, I will not.  My presence is needed elsewhere, so you will be treated by Doctor Park.  He is very talented and well respected." She said.  A nervous glint briefly shone in his eyes before he smiled to himself.  Why was he smiling?  Nothing happened that should have elicited a reaction of happiness.  Then again, Doctor Park was also in the running for head of Orthopedic Surgery, and his record of successful surgeries was much more extensive and impressive than hers.  It would make sense to be happy to be treated by the superior doctor, that was bulletproof logic.  

But then again, this guy did not seem the type to be controlled by logic and rationality.  Dealing with patients made her much more skilled at reading people.  People were like chapters of a textbook, each offering different insight and examples.  Regardless of what humanity liked to believe, no one person was totally unique.  Homo sapiens were not snowflakes.  From what she could tell, he was the more, go with your gut, " happens," heart over brain kind of guy.  

In all honesty, he was her patient, part of her could understand if he felt safer with her.

Softly buzzing in her pocket, the phone reminded her that she needed to review for her interview.  She felt bad for the guy (well, if she ignored the fact that he chose to be ignorant to why he was in the hospital in the first place, she did) but her future was calling.  Unlike him, whose future would be back on track in a few hours, hers hinged on performance, connections, and a whole ton of -kissing.  It was uncertain.

"Well," He started, looking more optimistic, "I've also heard good things about Doctor Park.  If you say I'll be fine, I'll believe you."

Why did it matter what she said?  Statistics proved that Doctor Park was a better surgeon.

"He is a brilliant surgeon.  The nurses will take you to the room and the Doctor himself will prep you for surgery."

Nodding his way as she left, Soeun practically ran to her office.  Complimenting Doctor Park's talents made her slightly anxious.  It was no secret he was the best around, but saying it aloud made her feel incredibly inferior.  She was intelligent, beautiful and outspoken.  She was made for the job.

Chanting facts and encouragements to herself, she barely noticed that fifteen minutes had passed.  Her interview was so close.  Standing up and straightening out her jacket, she smiled confidently in the mirror when suddenly her office door flew open.  Letting out a small scream, she whipped around to find a nurse standing there, panting.

"Doctor Lee, your patient--the Chinese boy--reacted badly to the numbing shot.  He's seizing!"

"What!?  Where is Doctor Park!?"

"He's with the boy, but he wants you to come stat!"

Running out of the room, fear gripped her heart.  This was her fault--she should have taken more time asking about his allergies (the angel on her shoulder whispered soothingly that the boy himself was probably unaware of his allergy).  Should she be glad that she wasn't in there herself?  How guilty would she feel if she had pushed that needle into his ankle? 

Quickly sanitizing herself, she urgently entered the room.  He had stopped seizing and the nurses were just checking vitals.  

"Soeun, it says here that he has no allergies!"

She hated when her coworkers called her by her name when working.  It was condescending.  It was demeaning.  She work all she did to be talked down to.

"Doctor Park, that is what he told me." She ground out.  He was brilliant but he was a jerk.  She hated the way his eyes mockingly glared down on her.  She knew that he was convinced the position as head was his--he was the great-great-grandson of the hospital's founder--but was she ready to kick him down to Earth.

Their staring contest was broken by the sudden beeping of the machinery.  His heart rate was increasing.  Looking frantically at each other, the nurses started to panic.

"Quickly get him a shot of--"

"No! What if he reacts--"

"We can't just sit here--"

"Enough!" Soeun yelled. "Doctor Park, it is up to you how to proceed from here, but I implore you to get him to a clean room."

And with that, she left.

Was she ready to see him?  After the failed surgery, the nurses tended to him with great care.  The board believed that he had Multiple Chemical Sensitivity--he was allergic to the world.  What caused it to flare up at that moment was unclear, but what was clear was that neither she nor Doctor Park were responsible for his seizure.  His parents had come in later that day and refused to allow the staff to perform any more tests.  She wanted to tell them it wasn't their choice--that was an adult now--but given the boy's condition she didn't push it.  

Stopping outside of his door, she peeked through the window.  He was sitting on his bed toying with his guitar.  

Even though she didn't believe in miracles (which is what it would take to change her mindset), she believed that he had impacted her for the better.  His parents were heartbroken at his decision.  She wished she could tell his parents everything that he told her, that she could guarantee to them that everything would be all right because he was just that amazing of a guy, but she couldn't.  He had spent the past three years locked up in that room.

Freedom came when she stepped through the door.

Hang lingering on the door knob, she closed her eyes.  She wasn't ready to say goodbye.

"Mr. Zhang--"

"Doctor Lee, please call me Lay.  You've been my attending doctor for two years now, I like to think we're a little less formal."

Two years.  It had been two years since the rest decided he had MCS.  At the time, she had only suggested a clean room so that everyone could clear their minds, but his parents took it as an official diagnosis of multiple chemical sensitivity.  She tried explaining to them that it was just a precaution, but they wouldn't have it.  Their stubbornness lead Lay to where he was today, in the same clean room as two years ago.  They weren't willing to test God and see how he would stand in the outside world. Soeun reasoned that it was unlikely that MCS randomly appeared like it did, but they were too afraid of the unknown.  

When she was bestowed the position as head of Orthopedic Surgery, her first motion was to assign Zhang Yixing as her patient.  She didn't care if it was outside of her area of expertise, some part of her felt responsible.  

She understood his parents' concern more than most people.  Her whole life was certain--the most uncertain was being promoted--the idea of not having a plan B frightened her.  Most people knew what medications they were allergic to, so she was certain that they wouldn't react because of surgery prep, yet having Lay as a patient warped everything.  Heck, he was even uncertain as to why he broke his ankle in the first place!

Since meeting him, the realities of the unknown became much more real to her.  That was why she visited him everyday--why she took him on as her patient.  

He was a magnet for the unknown--she wanted to reassure herself that he was wasn't going to just disappear.  Seeing his face was her rock.

"Well, Lay, the hospital director has decided that you've been well long enough to decide what you want to do next.  Your parents can't over rule your choice."

"Where are they?"

"When the director contacted them, they were abroad." She said bitterly.  What started as concern for their son became greed.  Upon realizing that they didn't have to worry about where Lay was or what he was doing (he was in a clean room), they took a vacation to clear their mind.  Soeun didn't blame them, but what was one vacation became two, and two became three until they were world travelers.  What killed her the most was not that the director took this long to give Lay his own medical proxy over his negligent parents, but that Lay didn't bear a grudge against his them.

"Oh, I hope they're in France.  They always wanted to go their for their honeymoon." He pondered.  Anger bubbled in her chest--why couldn't he see what was happening?  Just has her parents took advantage of her young age and ignorance to raise her into the ideal child, his parents were taking advantage of his poor health.  She wanted him to be happy--she truly and honestly did--but she wanted him to be aware, too.  When push came to shove, ignorance was bliss but knowledge was power.  

"Lay, in the spirit of informality, can I tell you something? You can feel free to stop me whenever, because I will be blunt and rude."

"Doctor Lee, you're always blunt."

"And rude." She added.

"And rude." He agreed with a dimpled smile.

"We all are marionettes who are controlled by our friends and family--they are the puppeteers.  My parents pulled my strings to raise me in to the perfect child--I am the prime example of a puppet--and when we do something that pleases them, that goes according to their plan--they think their winning.  People have a sick desire in finding pleasure when they are superior to others--when they win and others lose.  Humans find joy in seeing the setbacks of others because all they think is 'glad it's not me.'  Lay, I don't say this to hurt your feelings, or to push you into making a medical decision, just to inform you.  The dancers that put you here, the nurses, everyone--they think you're losing."

In the discomfort of the silence, a small smile graced his lips.  His face was one of genuine happiness that she had to wonder if he was truly sick.  She had just tore into him like a lawyer--she had practically told him his parents were happy he was hospitalized--and he was smiling.  Was he mocking her intelligence?  Did he think she was wrong?

"Doctor Lee, I know that.  But if my situation gives other people some sort of relief, isn't that enough?"

"Are you kidding me--"

"The truth is," He continued, "they're wrong.  I'm winning."

"You're winning?"

"Every moment that I spend in here, I get to interact with the staff.  I've met so many kind people--so many intelligent people.  Those aren't the types of experiences that you can gain from watching others.  Seeing you every day makes me wonder how much you truly trust what you say.  We both can agree that people are puppets, but I think we can also agree that we don't trust it enough to let it completely control us. Rationally...um...er..."He paused as if looking for the words.  She anticipated what he had to say next--she was not aware of how insightful he was.  But as she watched him scratch his head with an embarrassed smile, she couldn't help but chuckle. "I forgot.  Lost my train of thought."

"Don't worry about it.  I understand."

Raising his eyebrow, he looked surprised. 

"You do?"

Humming a 'yes,' she stood up and made her way to the door.  Stopping at the threshold, she gave him a knowing smile.

"Let me know when you decide what you want to do next."

Taking a deep breath, she pushed the door open.  As if on queue, his attention transferred from his guitar to her.  Flashing her a wide, dimpled smile, he strummed lightly.

"Soeun."

"Lay."

Having acknowledged each other, they sat without speaking.  He played a song.  She tried to focus on the music, but her mind couldn't help but wander.  This was the last time she would see him in this room.  After today, he would be far away.  While he was here, right next to her and willing to listen, she had to tell him something.  

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm winning, too." She whispered, her voice barely audible above the soft guitar.

"I know."

"Do you know why?" When he didn't respond, she placed her hand gently on his shoulder.  It wasn't romantic by any means, it was a simple touch.  A means to find comfort through contact.  "Because I met you."

Finishing the song, he put his hand over hers.  "I'm going to miss you."

Giving his hand a squeeze, she look him in the eyes.

"Zhang Yixing, as your attending doctor, I, Lee Soeun, give you clearance to check out of the hospital." She declared. "The future is unknown, the truth to your diagnosis a mystery, but I can only hope that we'll cross paths again."

She was shaking.  With those words past her lips, he was free.  He could officially leave the hospital. Part of her wanted him to stay--he could have multiple chemical sensitivity for all she knew, one step out and he could be right back in.  But the other part knew that this was for the best.  He wasn't one to be tied down by strings and mysteries.  There was nothing to be gained from sitting around scared.  

"Life is all about the adventure, Eun."

"I know.  You'll come back with epic tales,won't you?  I'll have to live vicariously through you." She mumbled. Even though she understood the benefits, even if she wanted to, she could not bring herself to leave.  They weren't lovers. She had nothing waiting for her on the outside.  Her life was built upon planners and notebooks--she met him because she never strayed far from the path--she could not just walk away to take off on some uncharted endeavor.  

"Of course."  He agreed.  "My first stop will be room 10B."

As the two of them sat there, side by side, he played one last song.  Soeun tried not to focus on the future, choosing to live in the moment of next three minutes.  As the soothing tune of Elvis' Can't Help Falling In Love floated around the room, they both stared straight ahead.  She, at the plain wall facing her, he, at the enigmatic world that awaited.

A/N: I present to you, my one shot!  It was only based every so slightly off of the prompt, but it helped me get going.  Also, as a disclaimer, I am not a medical professional.  Some of the above mentioned may not be completely accurate.  I looked up what I could, but please understand that I am only an aspiring writer and not House MD.

Let me know what you think down below :)

~Admin K