Summary: Yunho gets a visit. The new group gets PR training.

A.N.: Here we go: the second part of Ch 11 is now its very own chapter. I think you’ll see why I split it up. ^^

If this story continues as scheduled, I’ll be wrapping up Part One in the next three chapters. Soon, right? But don’t worry, that’s plenty of time for more YunJae than you all can handle. Trust me. ^^

I love all your comments and messages. Thank you so much! ♥ I think about them a lot as I’m writing. 

—)(—

When I open my eyes, the room is dark. How long was I out? I cautiously move my head, but the stabbing migraine pain is gone. I sit up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes with the back of my hand. I feel groggy, drained. Part of it is the grueling schedule we’ve been working. Part of it is Jae. My stomach roils with stress as I remember our fight. I wish I could stay here in bed and pretend that talk never happened.

I lie back down and stare at the ceiling. Music and chatter filter up from the courtyard below my dorm window as the trainees celebrate their Saturday night. For once, I have no desire to join them. Their laughter seems to belong to a different world than the one I’m in. Here, in the dark of my room, nothing makes sense anymore. Everything that defines my world, that seemed so solid and sure a few hours ago, is in question now. I feel lost, adrift. Confused.

If I believe Jae, then I have to accept that my kind Uncle Soo Man is a monster. And not just that, but that he’s made the people around me do monstrous things, too. No. I can’t believe it.

If I don’t believe Jae, then I have to accept that he’s…what? So desperate to get out of being with me that he’d make up a crazy story so I’d hate him? When a simple “no” would work? That makes even less sense.

I want to believe this is all a big misunderstanding.

I scrub my face with my hands in frustration. There has to be a way to get at the truth. I can’t go to Ssem. I picture standing in his intimidating office, surrounded by photos of the people he’s made into stars, and asking him if he’s blackmailed his trainees. I picture the look on his face at my question. No, that won’t work. True or not, I can’t do that. What else can I do?

Then it hits me. Heechul.

I pull out my cell phone and text him.

>You there?

I get a response right away.

>Right here
>What’s up?

Where do I start? There’s too much to say. Texting won’t work.

>I need to talk to you

A minute passes. I stare at the shadows on the ceiling, waiting.

>BRT

Huh? Is he coming over? I thought I’d call him. I’m tapping in a response when there’s a knock at my bedroom door. It can’t be…

“Who is it?”

“Who do you think?” says Heechul, opening the door. He peers in my direction. “Why are you sitting in the dark?”

He flicks on the overhead light, and I squint against the sudden flare of brightness. Shielding my eyes, I sit up, swiveling to put my feet on the floor. Heechul sips on an iced latte as he inspects my room. He shakes his head. “Wow, this place might be worse than your old room.”

“It’s exactly the same.”

“Mm. If you say so. This room seems more depressing, somehow.” He grabs the ladder-backed chair from my desk and drags it over to the bed. He plunks himself down on the hard, wooden seat and crosses his legs, grinning. “Or maybe it’s just you.”

“I’m having a bad day.”

“So I’ve heard. You’re not the only one.” He looks pointedly in the direction of the hall.

That explains why he’s here. “Did Jae call you over?”

He nods. “He told me what happened.”

“What did he say?”

“That he finally told you about his deal with dear, old Seonsangnim and you freaked out on him.”

“Are you saying it’s true?”

Heechul takes a long pull on his latte, shrewd eyes assessing me. He’s silent for a moment as if weighing his words. Then he releases the straw from his mouth and sighs. He leans back in his chair, shaking his head. “Yunho, I love you to death, but you are one of the most naïve people I’ve ever met.”

I frown. That’s not what I was expecting to hear. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you’ve led a very sheltered life. Do you know what the music industry is like? Not for you, but for people like Jae and me?”

He’s confusing me even more. I don’t understand what he’s asking me. “How is it different for you?”

“Most of us don’t grow up with the CEO of Korea’s biggest entertainment company as our doting godfather. We don’t have wealthy parents who can support us if we don’t make it as singers. We don’t have careers as lawyers to fall back on if we fail.” He gives me a direct look. “We’re all doing the same high-wire act, but some of us are doing it without a safety net. Do you understand?”

His words sting and I feel a flush creeping up my face. I don’t know if I’m angry at his implied reproach or ashamed that I never thought about it that way before. Golden Boy. Because I worked as hard as everyone else, because I knew I was talented, I thought I’d earned that position. In my memory, Jae’s voice scolds me: Welcome to the real world, Yunho. Okay, so I knew that I had a special relationship with Ssem. Of course I did. But I never thought he let it influence his treatment of me as a trainee. Is Heechul implying he did?

“I know that not everybody has the same advantages I have. I’m not stupid, Heechul. But I don’t get what that has to do with Jae spying on us. No matter what, he still betrayed us. That was his choice.”

“Don’t be so quick to judge a situation you’ve never been in.” He wags a finger at me, but his eyes are kind. “I sympathize with you, I really do. I know this must all be a shock to you. I can imagine how hurt you feel right now. But I’m on Jae’s side with this one.”

“So you’re telling me that the CEO of SM Entertainment is blackmailing trainees? And forcing them to be spies? Do you realize how crazy that sounds?”

“Do you have any idea what goes on in this industry? I mean what really goes on, in the back rooms. Let me educate you. Remember that actress a few years ago? The one who committed suicide? After her death, it came out that she was being forced to e herself to visiting businessmen by the CEO of her company. Or what about the company president who was jailed for his underage trainees last year?”

I remember those stories. They were in all the headlines. Tragedies.

I protest. “But those were extreme cases. That doesn’t happen all the time. And not at reputable companies like SM.”

“How do you know that? Because it hasn’t happened to you? There’s a whole dirty, cruel world out there that you know nothing about, Yunho. People who love you have worked hard to keep you from knowing about it. You’re lucky. The rest of us aren’t so lucky. The reality is that trainees and idols are forced to do terrible things. All the time. All over Korea. And yes, even here at SM. Passing along a little information about your friends isn’t so bad. To be honest, I think Jae got off easy.”

He sounds wistful. Envious.

“What’s your deal with SM, then? What did you agree to do?”

He answers in a velvet-soft voice. “That’s none of your business.”

We sit in uncomfortable silence. Heechul sips at the straw of his latte, downing the coffee in measured pulls. I perch on the edge of the bed, hands in my lap, overwhelmed by everything I’ve learned.

Jae’s telling the truth. Seonsangnim is making him spy on me—making other trainees do bad things. It seems impossible. I can’t reconcile what Heechul is telling me with a lifetime of memories. He seems to think I can turn around and reject Ssem. Accept he’s a bad guy and forget about everything he’s done for me, without giving him a chance to defend himself. It’s not that easy.

Haltingly, I try to explain. “Ssem has been so kind to me. He’s encouraged me and supported me my entire life. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. I owe him everything. And now you expect me to believe that he’s a monster, when I’ve never seen him do a single thing that wasn’t fair and honest. I can’t.”

I get up and start pacing. I need action, need to move as I sort things through. “I trust him. It feels disloyal to suddenly turn on him when he’s been nothing but good to me. But,” I stop and look at Heechul.

He meets my eyes with a calm patience that encourages me. I continue. “But I don’t think you’re lying to me. I don’t see why you would.” I take a deep breath, trying to quiet the distress in my voice. “I don’t know what to do.”

Heechul stands up and walks over to me. He puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. I’m struck again by how unusually sympathetic he’s being.

“I know. And I’m sorry. But I can’t help you. You have to figure this out on your own. All I ask is that you’re not too hard on Jae. I know you can’t see it right now, but in his own way, he’s been trying to protect you. He’s torn his heart out over this deal for years now, trust me on that.”

“You’re not upset that he spied on you and Kangin?”

He gives me a sharp look, dropping his hand from my shoulder. “Ah, so you know about that? I’m surprised he told you.”

“I already knew. I saw you two once. Together, I mean.”

For the first time since I met him, Heechul blushes. I didn’t think he knew how to blush.

“How…indiscreet of us. Well, there’s nothing to spy on anymore. That’s all done.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

There’s an awkward silence. Then Heechul clears his throat and says, “I know you have a lot to think about, but you should probably come out and let your members know that you’re okay. Everyone is worried about you.”

I’ll bet. God knows what they think of the scene I caused today.

I nod. “I’ll be right out. Just give me a minute to pull myself together.”

Heechul inclines his head and moves toward the door.

“Heechul…”

He looks back, one eyebrow raised inquiringly.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. I haven’t done you any favors today.” He shakes his head, face troubled. Then he turns and walks out of the room.

I go over to the mirror and try to make myself presentable. My hair spikes out in every direction like a sea urchin. As I flatten it into place, I try to calm my racing thoughts. I have to convince my group that everything’s fine, that I have everything under control. I can’t fail them on my first day as leader.

When I finally look human again, I walk over to the door. I take a deep breath, open it, and force a smile. Showtime.

—*—

“What do we have here?” Raena, the PR director, stops in front of me and peers over the