He lied to me.

He must’ve.

If not, then why is he acting so guilty, so suspicious, so distant?

“I’m not lying guys, you’ve gotta listen to me.” Minho backed away step by step from s that were staring at him like he was some kind of monster.
“I don’t believe you.” Jonghyun started as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“I don’t either.” Key added on.
“You’re lying.” Onew shook his head and sighed.
“I’m not! T-Taemin, you believe me, right?” Not knowing what else to do, Minho quickly turned to Taemin.

Taemin looked at him once and turned his head.
“I’m sorry.” He murmured before walking away from the scene and returning to his room.
“W-wait!” Minho held out his arm and tried to grab onto Taemin’s arm, but he caught nothing.
“I can’t believe it.” Key sighed and covered his eyes with his hand. “I thought you were someone different from those bastards. Maybe I was wrong.”
“It’s not ‘maybe you’re wrong’.” Jonghyun’s hand gently landed on Key’s shoulder. “You are wrong.” Finishing his sentence, Jonghyun turned his head and glared at Minho. Though Jonghyun was shorter than him, Minho still felt that undeniable, penetrating glare of accusing.
“Why don’t you guys give me a chance to explain? Why are you all just accusing me?!”
“You broke his heart, you idiot. You think that you can do something to mend that?” Key dropped his hand and turned his head slowly towards Minho. “You think you can get away with this?!” He walked over to the coffee table and picked up the newspaper, walked back and slammed it onto the dining table.
“You have eyes, don’t you? Read it then!” Key shouted.
“I know exactly what’s on it! That’s what I’m trying to explain!” Minho pointed at the large picture on the front page.

Choi Minho’s [SHINee] lover revealed?!

The picture of Minho leaning so close to a girl was printed undeniably on the paper with captions everywhere.
“Like I said before, this is nothing! You hear me? Nothing!”
“Nothing? You dare to say that this is nothing? Look, Choi Minho, look closely and carefully, you’re practically kissing her!”
“You think that I would do something to hurt Taemin?”
“No, but what can you say about this picture?”
“It’s photoshopped!”
“It doesn’t even look photoshopped!” Key snapped.
“You-”
“Forget it. I need to chill. I’m going out for a walk.” He shook his head and shrugged, walking towards the door.
“You know what to do.” Jonghyun murmured to him before following Key. Onew sighed and walked upstairs, leaving Minho alone in the living room.

Before Key left, he turned his head and looked at Minho.
“Please, don’t hurt him again. If you can’t love him, let go.”

Let…go?
I never betrayed him. I never forgot about him. But I…hurt him?

Minho shook the thought out of his head and walked towards Taemin’s room.

*Knock knock*

“Taemin? It’s me.” He spoke softly.
The place remained silent.
“Taemin?” Minho called out again.
Still no reply.
“Ta-Taemin…don’t scare me please…Taemin!” Minho began to furiously knock on the door.

The door swung open suddenly. Taemin stood there quietly, like a fragile glass doll that would shatter any second without protection.
“Taemin, I…” Minho began, but then was quickly cut off.
“Do you love me, hyung?”
“W-what? I…”
“Do you love me, Minho?” Taemin asked again.
“Taemin…you know my feelings…”
“Do, you, love, me?”
“I do. I love you.” Minho sighed and reached out his hands towards Taemin.

Taemin backed away automatically.
“Then why…” He choked out and walked back to his bed and sat down. “Why did you…?”
“I didn’t, Taemin. Believe me…please…”
“I’d believe you…you don’t know how much I want to…but…” He shook his head. “I don’t know anymore.”
“Taemin, listen. It’s photo-shopped, that picture…”
“No, not that!” Taemin covered his ears and shouted. “I’m not talking about that…”
“Then what? What are you talking about then?” Minho walked over and sat down on the bed. Taemin shifted uncomfortable and moved further away from him.
“I don’t know…anymore. I’m hesitant, Minho. Do you really love me?”
“Of course I do!”
“Ha…” Taemin chuckled mockingly. “I’m wrong. It’s not me anymore, is it? It’s you, Minho. You’re hesitant.”
“M-me?”
“Remember, when we first met? When we first fell in love? Do you remember what you said to me?”
“I-”

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart. Remember that? I felt it, Minho. I felt what can’t be seen or touched, but it was beautiful. Love, isn’t it?”
“Taemin, why all of a sudden…”
“It’s okay, Minho. I’ll understand if you…don’t…love me…anymore.” Though he was saying that with a forced smile, tears were already forming around his eyes and clouding his vision.
“That’ll never happen…never…” Minho promised, lifting Taemin’s chin with his hand. “I promise you, I’ll never leave you, or betray you.”

He then pressed his lips to Taemin’s, gently, fragilely, like he was afraid that Taemin would disappear from his arms. Taemin closed his eyes slowly, like he was accepting the truth, and letting fate toy with him.

I’m sorry…
I won’t drag you down anymore.
I won’t let you be hesitant and indecisive anymore.
But, I will…
Let you go.

Set you free.

Taemin made up his mind and lifted his hand to push Minho away from him.
“Sorry, Minho. Can you give me some personal space, for a while? While I sort out my mind?” Taemin wiped his lips with his hand and lowered his head.
“Taemin, I-”
“Please, Minho. Leave me alone.” He asked again.

Minho stared at Taemin for a few more seconds before sighing deeply, turning, and leaving. He took one last glance at Taemin.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered gently before closing the door behind him.

Why…did I do that?
Is this what I really wanted?

Hah…I’m such an idiot.

Taemin buried his head into the pillow and muffled his cries.
“I love you…” He muttered. “I really do…”

~Meanwhile~

Minho stood alone in the living room with his fists clenched tightly. Key and Jonghyun weren’t back yet, and Onew was upstairs. All electronics had gone to sleep, except for the light that shone dimly upon his head. The moon outside hung in a peculiar angle, as if it was mocking him for all the mistakes, feeble attempts to get everything right and pain that he had inflicted on the one that he loved.
“…” He murmured, his head lowered. He clenched his teeth together as he covered his face with both his hands and sunk into the couch behind him.
“I ruined him…I shouldn’t have…” He repeated to himself weakly.

He lifted his head up and looked at the blank ceiling.
“Why…?” He breathed out.
“Argh!” He shouted in frustration and picked up the coffee cup on the table and threw it again the wall.

*Crash*

The cup instantly shattered into pieces, the remaining coffee inside staining the wall and carpet.

It’s just like me…

Just like how I engraved a scar, a stain onto Taemin’s heart.

A scar unable to be erased…

The door unlocked as Key and Jonghyun walked into the house.
“Did you sort everything out?” Key asked Minho once he saw him sitting on the couch.
No reply.
“Yah, don’t you dare use the silent treatment on me now. I asked, did you-”
“I did, okay?! We broke up, are you happy?!” Minho growled.
“What…? You…Taemin…I…” Key was in a loss for words as he stuttered.
“Is this what you wanted?! Great! You have what you want now! So can you please stop torturing me?! I’m in pain too, okay?” Minho shouted as a single teardrop slid from his left eye and dripped onto the floor. “I admit it, it’s my fault…all…my…fault…” He wiped the remaining tears away quickly.
“Minho, I’m sorry. I…” Key apologized quickly.
“It’s okay, Key. I’m sorry too. Now…I’ll leave him alone. I won’t tie him to myself anymore, and I won’t let him get hurt. Emotionally, mentally, or physically.” Minho promised. “I’ll protect him, just as a different character. I’m no longer the main.”
“Taemin – is he okay?”
“I’m not sure…”

~Next day~

“Taemin, please, can you come out? You already skipped breakfast and lunch, at least eat something…” Key knocked on the door again for the nth time.
“Hyung, I told you, I’m not hungry.”
“You can’t do that. Even if you’re not hungry, you have to eat something. You’ll ruin your body like that.”
“I can’t bring myself to eat anything, hyung. I just don’t feel like it.” Taemin replied from the inside.
“Taemin…”
“Let me try.” Jonghyun walked up to Taemin’s bedroom door and said. “Taemin, I understand how you feel now, but locking yourself up in your bedroom isn’t going to help. Just eat something, and we won’t ask anything, or keep you out of your bedroom. Once you finish, you can come back, okay?” Jonghyun convinced.

Silence covered them at first before Taemin slowly opened the door. Key gasped and sighed.

Taemin looked worse than before. His hair was ruffled, and his eyes were red. It felt like he hadn’t slept for days, and he looked weaker than Key had ever seen him.
“I’m sorry, hyung. I’ll eat something now.” He apologized and walked over to the dining room.
“Hey, Onew hyung.” He greeted Onew and sat down as far away from Minho as possible.
“You’re not even going to talk to me now?” Minho felt insecure.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.” Taemin didn’t even look up from his bowl as he slowly lifted some vegetables and stuffed it into his mouth. “Hey, Minho hyung.” He emphasized on the ‘hyung’ part.

Minho stiffened before putting down his chopsticks.
“I’m full. Thanks for the meal.” He said and left the table.
“Taemin…” Key turned to Taemin, worried.

Taemin remained in his original position – his head down as his hair freely covered his eyes. His shoulders were shaking as he slowly put down his chopsticks.
“Hyung…” He cried out. “I can’t do it…I just can’t…” Tears streamed down his face as he covered his mouth to suppress the cries. “Why can’t I do it? Why can’t I just forget him? Why…am I still in love with him?”
“You’re trying…you’re trying…” Key could only repeat and gently pat Taemin on the back.

Minho, what’s gotten into you?
Why can’t you be more persistent?
Can’t you see that Taemin’s in even more pain than before?

That night, Taemin remained awake. All the memories, all the moments, everything in the past was replaying in his head like an endless film.

First hug…
First gift…

First kiss…

First everything…

First…heartbreak.

Everything they shared, everything they owned just kept flying into his head.
“Stop…” He shook his head.

I love you…I really do…

Don’t leave me, okay?
I promise you, I’ll never hurt you.
I’ll love you forever. Nothing will stop, will it, Taemin?
Taemin…Taemin…Taemin…

Minho’s voice was ringing beside his ear non-stop. He could hear it every time he breathed, every time he blinked.

The voice was everywhere.
“No…stop…”

He couldn’t take it anymore.
He had to end it, somehow.

Maybe…letting go wasn’t enough.
He had to leave, he had to get out of the place that made him remember everything so clearly.

He made up his mind.

Taemin lifted himself up from his bed and got dressed. Then, he sat down on his desk and pushed all the books away. Picking up a pen, he began to write.

To: Key, Jonghyun and Onew hyung.

I’m sorry for bringing you all this trouble. It must’ve been hard, putting up me right? I know I’ve been annoying with all my love problems, but they’re not a burden now. Take care of…Minho for me, will you guys? Please, don’t let him do anything stupid. Give him strength, give him hope. Do anything you guys can to let him forget about me.

Come and look for me, if you want, but your efforts will be in vain.
I’m leaving.

Forever.
Sorry, again.

~Taemin.

He folded the letter and slipped it into an envelope.

He slowly pushed open his bedroom door with his small bag of belongings – he was surprised at how less he had to himself once he finished packing. He turned to Minho’s room and stared at the door, unable to control his feelings.

The door creaked when he pushed it open, but he knew that it probably wouldn’t wake Minho up. He crept up to the bed slowly, smiling when he saw his lover’s peaceful face.
“I love you…you know that? So, so much…” He whispered deeply before leaning forward and giving Minho a gentle kiss on the cheek. “So much, that I can’t bear to see you lose control just to keep me around you.”

“I know, Taemin.” Minho’s voice suddenly echoed in the empty room. Taemin’s eyes widened as he pulled himself back quickly. But not quick enough. Minho reached out his hand and grabbed onto Taemin’s wrist, pulling him down on the bed with him.
“Minho, you…weren’t sleeping?”
“I heard you open the door…who else would come to my room at such a time?”
“Let go of me…” Taemin struggled and squirmed around, trying to free his wrist away from Minho’s tight grip.
“No. I’ll never let go of you again.” Minho whispered and pinned Taemin down by slipping his arm around Taemin’s waist.
“Min…ho…let go of me…” Taemin repeated again.

“Let go? So I can what? Watch you leave me forever? I’m not letting go, Taemin.”
“Please…Minho…let me go. I can’t…control myself…” Taemin sobbed and leaned uncontrollably against Minho’s chest.
“Taemin…I was such an idiot. I thought that if I gave you enough love, I would get the same amount back. I was wrong. I’m sorry…sorry…”
“Don’t pity me…please…”
“I’m not. Remember when I said that the best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart? Did you know what I was talking about?”
“Isn’t it…love?” Taemin wiped the tears away from his eyes.
“It’s not love. Yes, it’s beautiful and it can’t be seen or touched. And of course, you can feel it with the heart. But it’s not love.”
“Then…what is it?”
“It’s your heart, Taemin.” Minho sighed and pulled Taemin up so he was facing him.
“My…heart?”
“Yes, your heart. It’s beautiful, and I can’t see it, nor touch it. But…I can feel it. I can feel your feelings, so clearly, like you’re shouting them to me.”
“Minho…I…”
“Please, don’t go. Don’t leave me…” Minho pleaded as he cupped Taemin’s face with his hands and pulled him down for a kiss.

Taemin was drowning.

Drowning in a pool of confusion, but mixed with happiness, ecstasy, and of course, love.
“I’m sorry, Minho. I’ll never leave you again. No matter what happens.” Taemin promised.
“And I’ll never leave you too. No matter what. My heart...” Minho took Taemin’s hand and pressed it against his chest. “And your heart…” He then lifted his hand and gently placed it on Taemin’s chest.
“Are bonded together, forever.”