I sat down under the shade of a big oak tree on the university grounds, legs outstretched and leaning back against the old bark. A lot of couples had scribbled their names all over it with love hearts and confessions, but such things only made me feel bitter so I ignored them.

It was a bright and sunny day with a fresh summer breeze rustling the leaves occasionally —a perfect day to spend some time outside. I usually liked staying in the lab no matter what, but it felt way too hot and stuffy to stay inside today. Besides, I had started reading a novel a few days ago about a poor girl from the slums falling in love with an aristocrat and I got so into it that I wanted to read it without people constantly walking in and out of the lab.

I stretched my arms out and yawned as I reached the end of a chapter and adjusted my glasses before flipping to the next page when I was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a guitar.

Surprised, I looked around me and realized that the sound was coming from the other side of the tree trunk. Soon the person started singing along to the beautiful tune with a low and charming timbre to his voice. Whoever this guy was, he sounded almost like a professional singer and the huskiness in the way he sang was making my heart beat a little faster although I hadn't even seen his face yet. I wanted to see who it was, but at the same time I worried that he would stop playing if I made a sound.

 As I continued to listen to it, it eventually occurred to me that it sounded like the tune that Hongbin always played on the piano. And now that I thought of it, the voice was very much like his too.

I hadn't seen Hongbin ever since that day in the lab. It had already been almost two weeks now but I had heard him practice a few times as usual.

"Liked it?"

I jumped a little in shock and stared up at the person suddenly standing next to me. I realized that the music had already stopped and the guy was leaning over me with a smirk and the guitar in one hand. I was right, it was Hongbin indeed.

I was flustered and unable to answer him fast enough after learning it was him and ended up just staring at him until he sat down beside me. He started talking about the weather, the rooms being too hot and something about having seen a guy trip and roll down the stairs earlier. I wasn't sure what exactly was happening as I blinked at him whilst he continued to casually talk to me about random things. In the meanwhile I was thinking about how to feel about this, how to feel about HIM, because I really couldn’t figure it out. I wouldn't say I was over my crush on him, but I had accepted our differences and how we couldn't be together. He'd made that pretty clear in the past but the way he interacted with me now just made it seem like he didn't remember a thing.

"Let's skip," Hongbin randomly suggested, looking at me seriously with anticipation. I stared at him in surprise, taken aback by his absurdity.

He chuckled, "Do you even know what skipping means? I wouldn't let it past a brainiac like you."

"Tch," I grimaced at him for making fun of me and shook my head, showing him that I was a proud nerd who was always on point, “I don't skip lessons, plus I have an important lecture today which will be on the exam."

"Aisshh," Hongbin looked disgusted at my loyalty to the lectures and just got up, grabbing his stuff from the ground whilst nagging to himself about how I was so stubborn. "This weather isn't suitable for school..."

I remained sitting against the tree as I watched him blankly, thinking he would just leave. Instead, he suddenly grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me up on my feet. Shocked by the sudden action, I almost lost my balance and stumbled into him.

"Eh?" I blinked up at him in confusion until I realized he was just going to take me with him against my will. I attempted to wriggle out of his grasp, protesting as I found myself effortlessly being dragged along by him.

Unfazed by my attempts at freeing myself, he stared at me a little strangely as if wondering what I was trying to do.

"Aish!" I huffed, frustrated that he was quite easily keeping the hold on my wrist whilst I was putting all my energy into making him let go.

"Man you're weak..." he mused as he looked at me, "Or maybe I'm just stronger than I thought." he began flexing his arm in front of me with that annoyingly attractive smirk on his face.

I took the chance to slip my hand away from him and walked away whilst he was still in the middle of admiring his biceps and bragging.

"Oh? Yah, Brainiac!" he shouted when he realised I was escaping and followed me into the building quickly.

Honestly I thought he'd fall off on his own pretty soon because I wasn't about to give in to his temptations to skip lessons with him. But, next thing I know he was sat right next to me in the lesson, instead of leaving on his own. He basically ended up trapped in my science lab and was pretending to be one of us. I observed him as he continued to nod his head repetitively at the professor, pretending to understand what he was saying when in fact he had no clue. I couldn't help but shake my head as I thought about what an idiot he actually was... a cute idiot.

In this particular practical we were creating shampoo, which fascinated Hongbin more than I had thought was possible. It was like he was seeing a whole new perspective on the science that I loved so much, and that itself made my day. We ended up working together to create our own shampoo and were able to take our samples home, which he was incredibly excited about. I couldn't help but smile.

"I'm totally going to use this! If it works, I can just make my own shampoo from now on!" he grinned to himself as we walked out of the laboratory at the end of the practical.

After that, we split ways and I didn't think I'd see him again that day until I heard the piano playing again while I was working on my research late in the lab again. I smiled to myself as my focus increased to the soothing melody, but strangely I was starting to get distracted instead by thoughts of Hongbin and the cute side of him that I had seen today. I managed to ignore those thoughts eventually, knowing that no good could come out of letting my guard down.

Once I was done for the night, I put the apparatus away and packed up before tiredly leaving the laboratory. The piano had stopped playing a while ago so I assumed that Hongbin had already left, but he almost gave me a heart attack when I walked out of the exit to be greeted by his grinning face again. What was he doing here?

"You seriously take ages," he complained as he pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against and walked towards me. It was only then that I realised he was standing here because he had been waiting for me.

"What's wrong? Is there something you needed to ask me?" I frowned, concerned if he had some kind of urgent problem. I couldn't comprehend why he would wait for me. It got even more worrying when he seemed a little hesitant to answer me, avoiding eye contact and shifting around a little.

"It's dark outside, I'll walk you home," he eventually said, leaving me to stand there staring at him dumbfounded. This was the first time anyone had ever worried about me getting home safely. I still couldn't get my head around it though because it didn't make much sense that he would care. I couldn't help but suspect that it was some kind of prank. After all he had had no problem humiliating me in the past, so if he'd really cared for me then he could've at least spared my image back then.

"I'll be fine," I declined politely, "I often go home this late anyway."

"Just because you've been fine before doesn't mean it'll always be like that! It could get dangerous when you least expect it," he suddenly started telling me off for being so careless about my safety. He then dominantly grabbed hold of my arm and led me away with him, "Let's go, I'm taking you home."

"Yah! Stop trying to scare me, I'll be fine!" I struggled against his firm grip, but to no avail.

"I know you'll be fine. I'm trying to make sure you go back home instead of creeping around those poor guys' houses," he said whilst dragging me along, "Those guys on your list."

"What?! I don't do that!" I bore into the back of his head with a fiery glare, but ended up giving in to him anyway. He was being way too stubborn for me to refuse him any further, so I just let him take me home as he wished. It wasn't as if I didn't like it, because being protected by someone who cares for you is every girl's dream... but the issue was, I didn't believe that he cared. No matter how much I wanted to ignore the warning alarms in my mind, there was a constant voice at the back of it telling me that I shouldn't let my guard down, and that I shouldn't trust him.

I wasn't exactly able to think much about it while we were walking home, because he was constantly babbling about all sorts of things. Just as I had thought he was from watching him from afar, he was indeed a bright and social person who loved to talk and could cheer people up effortlessly. I didn't even realise we had reached my place until he notified me with a nudge.

"Um," I lingered by the front gate as I looked up at him, "Thanks I guess, for walking me home... although I still think I'd have been completely fine."

He shook his head, looking a little amused, “You might be too brave for your own good. Go inside."

I shrugged and headed to the door before opening it with my key, "Okay, you can go home now."

"See ya tomorrow," he waved at me with a dorky smile, making my heart skip a beat. Flustered by the sudden wave of emotion in my chest, I slammed the door shut and exhaled deeply.

What exactly was he trying to achieve by doing all this?

I headed up to my room and plonked down on my bed after washing up and getting changed into my PJs, constantly thinking about this. Was this really about that stupid list? Why did he want to be on it so bad anyway, it’s not like he wanted to date me in the first place. I rolled over on my bed to reach for my bag and pulled out the notepad with the boyfriend list in it. Somehow it was really starting to annoy me and looked utterly pathetic... If this was really why he was doing all these unusual things then I'd rather this didn't exist at all. I wouldn't be able to handle the same kind of pain twice.

Without thinking about it any further, I ripped the page out of the notepad and shredded it into pieces before throwing it all away.

"It was childish to begin with anyway," I huffed, lying back down on the bed and closing my eyes, hoping everything would be alright from now on.

Things didn't go back to normal after that, however they did remain more or less the same... with Hongbin around me. He'd pester me whenever he saw me and I had to admit though, I had started going to sit under the oak tree more and more often so it wasn't like I was trying to avoid his pestering either. He'd also always walk me home now without fail and honestly, I knew that I liked having him around but denying it was like second nature to me. Ever since what had happened in the past, it became a habit, almost like a defense mechanism. And it also wasn’t just our past that reminded me of how far in status we really were. His mother made sure I didn’t forget that fact either.

I met her by chance on one of these days when Hongbin and I had decided to head out to buy some snacks during a break together. While we were stood by a tteokbokki stand outside the campus, Hongbin's mother seemed to have spotted us while driving past and had her driver pull over. Hongbin rushed over to greet his mom and adorably hugged her, looking happy to see her here. I was smiling like an idiot about it until I noticed that his mom didn't have quite so much of an affectionate attitude towards me. I could feel her eyes burning holes in me with so much hostility that I couldn't even open my mouth properly to greet her at first. Hongbin noticed her looking at me and went on to introduce me.

"This is Kim Mirae," he said, "She's a good friend from the science department."

Despite Hongbin's enthusiasm, his mother looked down at me with a degrading glance and nodded, "I see."

Hongbin didn't seem to catch on, but I got the message she was trying to convey. While he briefly turned around to take the tteokbokki from the guy at the stall once it was ready, I went on to greet his mother properly.

"Hello," I politely bowed at her, feeling completely out of place and unnerved, but what happened next felt like a slap in the face.

She looked at me as if I was dirt on the side of the road and turned away, heading back into her car. Even until now Hongbin didn't really know what had happened, but I remember being so frozen in shock that I remained standing there speechlessly for about a minute.

It was an unpleasant experience and I never wanted to meet her again, but it wasn't like I could get rid of Hongbin even as a friend because of that. After all, I liked having him around regardless of our differences.

A  couple of days after that I was sat under the oak tree as usual, reading yet another romance novel in which the female protagonist was just about to be kissed by the male character. A refreshing breeze blew a few leaves down onto the page of my book and I paused with reading as I removed it.

"Aish, is he going to do it or not?" I muttered to myself regarding the male character when I noticed a batch of students walking in through the university gates. In the midst of them I saw Hongbin walking onto the grounds and it took me a moment to absorb the scene. Hongbin already always stood out amongst the other students as it was, but the random pink hair was really making him conspicuous.

He caught sight of me and without further delay he was heading straight towards me with a fast pace. The closer he got the more I stared at him weirdly, seeing how pink his hair really was. What happened to him suddenly… was he trying to make a statement?

"It's all your fault!" he complained grumpily as soon as he reached me, touching his hair with a forlorn expression.

"How is it my fault?" I frowned, eyeing him weirdly.

"Your stupid shampoo did this to my beautiful silky hair!" he pointed accusingly at me.

It was only then that I realised what had happened and tried to the best of my ability not to laugh. I pressed my lips together and cleared my throat, "Seems like we went a little wrong with the ingredients…"

"Yah! You told me it was safe to use!" he got even angrier as he continued to nag and wail about it. This went on for almost the whole day, and although I found it hilarious I couldn't help but find that the pink hair actually suited him. It was pretty evident from the way the girls were giving extra attention to him today.

Later that day we were both working in our respective departments as we usually do —Hongbin on the top floor, me on the one below. I was really starting to get tired when I noticed that the music from above had stopped, so I quickly packed my things and got ready to leave too. We kind of fell into this routine eventually, where I would also pack up as soon as he stopped practicing on the piano otherwise he would end up waiting for me again.

I saw him walk into the lab while I was still putting some test tubes away, "I'm almost done, I just need to clean the workstation up."

Hongbin just nodded and sat down where my jacket and bag were piled up. He remained strangely silent, but I didn't think anything of it since I assumed he was probably tired just like me.

After I dragged myself home with Hongbin trailing after me, instead of leaving right away he stood by the gate a bit longer than normal. I wasn't sure what was up with him because he was acting strange quite a lot today. He hadn't said much the entire journey and when I glanced back at him from the front door he just smiled at me and left. It wasn't his usual dorky grin but that genuine dimple smile that could make every girl on campus swoon.

I decided to shrug the thought off for now and went inside to get ready for bed. As usual I pulled out my textbooks from my bag to get the right ones ready for tomorrow's lectures when I saw a letter fall out of my bag.

I picked it up and examined it with a frown, confused as to how it got in there. Then I carefully opened it out of curiosity to see what it was.

It was an invitation to a house party from Hongbin.

I guess we hung out often enough for him to invite me to such things but the way he's been acting and the way his words in this letter were written kept telling me something that seemed outrageous. You could call me insane but it honestly seemed like he was subtly dropping hints that he had feelings for me. Even thinking about that now was absurd but this was making me so nervous that it seemed almost unmistakable.

"I've been thinking a lot lately. I have something to tell you, so I really hope you can make it. I'll be waiting."

I read those words over and over, and every time I did I could only conclude it as a discrete confession.

"Kim Mirae, you've lost it…" I muttered to myself all night, unable to sleep. I wasn't sure what to do anymore because if it really was conveying his feeling, then would it mean I accepted them if I went?

"Do I want to accept?" I pulled the blanket off my face as I stared at the ceiling, thinking hard. I placed a hand on my chest and felt how hard and fast my heart was beating right now, just with the thought of him having feelings for me alone. I really was never over him –in fact, I liked him more now than ever before. But, after what happened in the past I wasn't sure how I could just repeat the same mistake again. As much as I knew how much I liked Hongbin, I also knew I just wasn't up there on the social ladder that I could be with him and it was as simple as that.

During the past few years I had learned that social status was a powerful thing and whilst Hongbin was somewhere at the top, I was somewhere on the other end.

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