“You and I? It’s a risk worth-taking.”

“So… you and Yoona unnie have been going out for a long time ago, eh?” It is Naeun’s first statement after Jongdae has explained everything about our relationship. He couldn’t have lied about not going out with me because he is here. Why would he show up in my condo in the first place if he weren’t my boyfriend?

I, on the contrary, could only look down at the floor. I barely in the conversation. No words can describe how utterly abashed I am at the very moment. After all this time I’ve been so distant about my personal love life, and Naeun is the first to know about this clandestine relationship, albeit she only discovered it by a mere coincidence.

 “Not really,” Jongdae answers with a mere shake. “I think Yoona noona and I started going out two months ago.”

The younger girl falls silent, as though she’s still digesting the truth about the relationship between both of us.

“You know,” Jongdae pitches in, breaking the fleeting silence. “I really hope you will not tell anyone about this, Naeun.”

Naeun gapes at him.

“I know what we’re doing is wrong—we hide the fact we’re dating, but this is it.” He takes a deep breath. “I love Yoona noona and I couldn’t bear to let go of her hand.”

He envelopes my finger in his grip, and I respond to it despite I’m a little bit alarmed.

“I won’t tell anyone about this,” Naeun says eventually, though her eyes are fixed on our linked hands. She then averts her eyes to him. “But I’m pretty disappointed in you, unnie…”

I feel a jolt of surprise. “Huh?”

“Is this why you didn’t want Heechul oppa to find you a guy?” she asks directly. “Because you’ve already had one?”

It shoots me right in my heart. I am at loss of words.

“Hey, what are you guys talking about?” Jongdae is curious. “Why did he want to find Yoona noona a guy?”

“It’s nothing,” I respond and get back to my stylist. “Naeun, listen. It’s just…. I had to say that I didn’t care about dating anymore because of Jongdae. I wanted to seal our relationship. That is why it led me to say that I just wanted to work for the rest of my life.”

“Still…” Listening to her vague response, she seems to have melted. The words I just told her was deep from the bottom of my heart—I didn’t lie anything nor exaggerate. It’s the truth.

“You could’ve told us,” she adds, puckering her lips. “I’m disappointed in you, unnie! Really!”

“I’m really sorry, Naeun… and I mean it.” I am being sincere, but if she still doesn’t want to forgive me, then that’s it. I’ve tried my best.

“I think it’s all my fault,” Jongdae butts in darkly, to my surprise. “I’m the one who dragged Yoona noona in this relationship. You can hit me, Naeun. I’m ready.”

“Jongdae, what on earth are you talking about?” My stare meets his. “It’s not all your fault. It’s my fault too, so stop it at once.”

He only gives me a weak smile.

“Why does it feel like it’s my fault?” Naeun breaks in with a bouncy chuckle. “Stop saying sorry to me because you two are not at fault!”

We both look at her expectantly.

“I don’t think it’s wrong to be in love. In fact, I’m happy for Yoona unnie, though I did feel disappointed at first. I mean, who would have thought she’s actually dating someone, right?

Jongdae and I exchange glances later before I could see a crack of smile forming at the corner of his lips. The problem’s been eventually solved. We can now sigh a relief because Naeun’s accepted our apology and the fact that she would keep it a secret.

“Noona, I’ll get going.” Jongdae gets to his feet a moment after Naeun trudges in my room for a shower.

“That’s it?” I say, perplexed.

“Yes.” He nods coolly. “I just came here to check on you.”

“I was wondering why you were here in the first place, Jongdae. I mean, you said you wouldn’t be around during my birthday, didn’t you?”

“I returned this evening, which is a day earlier than expected,” he enlightens. “I could’ve texted you beforehand, but I didn’t. I was thinking to surprise you, but instead, I was the one to be surprised. You know, I was really shocked to see you bring someone home!”

I let out a chuckle of amusement. “How did you get in my condo? There’s no way you’d actually know my passcode!”

“Didn’t you remember last time? You told me your passcode.”

“Did I?” I raise an eyebrow at him.

“Yes, you did,” he says with a laugh. “You let me know your passcode because it’d be easier for me rather than wait for you outside.”

“I really forgot when it was,” I say. “Anyway, are you going to go home for real?”

“I’m afraid I have to.” He casts me an apologetic look as he squeezes my shoulder. “My manager hyung’s going to pop in my house at any time, so I’d better hurry up!”

There’s nothing I could do to stop him, right? “Well, then. Text me once you’ve reached home.”

“Promise.” He gives me the sweetest smile he has before scurrying towards the door.

“Goodbye.” Sadly, I wave my hand at him.

“Goodbye!”

I thought the door has been closed, but it hasn’t yet. To my horror, he jumps in front of me when I was about to swivel on my heels towards my room.

“Hold on, noona.” Smiling, he leans in, slightly tilts his head and presses his lips against mine. I am quite taken aback, but melt in the kiss. It only lasts for a moment, but that’s enough for me. It’s like, the days we couldn’t meet because he was busy in Japan, have been compensated.

He chuckles sweetly. “I’ll get going for real.”

I nod and watch his footsteps out of my condo. After the door’s been closed shut, I pivot and head towards my room, only to be shocked when Naeun is standing at the door. She couldn’t possibly be spying on us just now, could she?

Though she says nothing, she gives me this kind of an omg–you–guys–kissed look.

I shrug, laughing. “I’m going to shower!”

It’s now 3:30 AM and yet, I could not get a wink of sleep.

I turn sideways to Naeun, who’s sleeping soundly next too. She is really adorable when she sleepss. She’s got no sleeping habits, though. The way she has the pink bolster in her embrace amuses me, as though she were hugging her boyfriend.

I have no idea why I couldn’t sleep. To say it’s because of the wine I drank during dinner with Heechul oppa and Naeun, it wouldn’t make sense because I only had two mere glasses of wine. Then, what is wrong with me?

Opting to do something that can help me drift to sleep, I reach my cell phone and click on the gallery. I was thinking of giving Jongdae a call, but I halt my intention because he might still be working or instead sleeping at the moment.

Browsing every photo in the gallery, I’ve come to a thought where I just realized that I had no single photos of him with me.

We haven’t taken a picture before, so it wouldn’t make sense if I had one, right?

That’s fine. I’ll snap one with him if we get to meet later.

Bored with the cell phone, I get up and walk up to the study desk, to which I come across the bouquet of baby’s breath given by Jongdae a week ago as my birthday present. I was supposed to put in a watered vase, but I forgot. Now the flowers have wilted.

Out of the blue, I find my eyes stuck at a particular blue-colored letter inside the flowers. It’s particularly notable, but why didn’t I notice it before?

To: Yoona noona

With shaking heart, I open the letter and start reading the content.

Hello.

You must’ve been expecting for a birthday present instead of a letter, right? I actually intended for it, but I changed my mind because I heard that women appreciate hand-written letters more than presents.

Anyway, I would like to say thank you so much because you accepted me to be part of your life. I’ve never been so happy in my life, to tell you the truth. 

Despite we’ve temporarily broken up, we still got back together in the long run. I would also like to say thank you for giving me a second chance. Whether you were willing or instead forced, it’s okay. I still am happy.

Here, I genuinely hope we will be together for a long time or until the moment we walk down the aisle, maybe? I love you and will always love you, Im Yoona.

Yours sincerely,

Kim Jongdae

p/s: I’ve never been a great writer and writing is the last thing I’d ever do, so please forgive me if it doesn’t live up to your expectation ;)

Once I’ve finished reading the heartfelt content, I close it and keep it in my drawer.

I don’t know what I’m feeling like at the moment, because it’s all mixed. I’m happy, touched, and my heart is beating like crazy. If he were in front of me right now, I think I would have hugged him so tightly and kissed him as much as I want to convey my deepest thoughts.

I walk up to the night stand and reach my cell phone.

To: Jongdae<3

Thanks for the touching letter. I just discovered it. Your writing is not that bad, by the way. It got my heart beating so fast <3

That particular Saturday where there is no drama filming, I head to the recording studio to pay Changwook oppa a surprise visit. Today he’s going to record a song for our drama, ‘Starstruck’ as part of the original soundtrack. He’s always known for not only having brilliant skill of acting, but also sings very well. He’s started his c