None of them will ever forget the sickening sound that Mark's head makes when it hits the solid floor, failing to land properly after a flip. None of them saw it, but all of them heard it, immediately rushing over to Mark's prone form --- Jackson and Jinyoung screaming Mark's name, Jaebum and Youngjae a deathly shade of white, BamBam and Yugyeom calling out "hyung!" and crying uncontrollably. When they see the blood and Mark unmoving, they all begin to cry and yell, Jaebum forcing Jackson away so that he doesn't move Mark like he was about to, for fear that he hurt his spine. He yells for help, music show staff already scrambling for aid, as Jinyoung takes one of Mark's hands as he sobs, and BamBam takes the other. Jackson pushes past Jaebum, angry and sad, gently holding Mark's face and begging Mark to wake up in a heartbreaking voice. Jaebum hears and sees all of their grief, his own leaking out in steams down his cheeks, but all he can look at is Mark's pale, lifeless face, wishing with all his heart that this is just a nightmare.

It isn't.

Mark is rushed to the hospital, Yugyeom tormented by the puddle of blood left behind (Jaebum has to pull him away from it, staring at it like he's lost his mind). Jackson had been hysterics when he was denied entry into Mark's emergency vehicle, so when they all pile into a waiting van by one of their managers, Jackson is the first one in. Another manager is in the emergency truck with Mark. Jaebum does what he can to help the youngest ones, reassuring them the best he can, but he doesn't think it's really helping. How could any words help right now, unless they were from Mark?

The van is filled with sniffling and choked sobs, until Jackson shouts, "He's not dead! He can't be dead! He is not dead!" at no one in particular, but the pleading look he sends everyone destroys them. Jinyoung, closest to Jackson, just wraps his arms around him and cries into Jackson's neck, yelling Mark's name and Jaebum hates seeing the way Jackson crumples when no one confirms his words as truth, clinging to Jinyoung as he cries so hard he chokes. BamBam and Yugyeom are a mess, wailing even louder now, but Jaebum is most worried about Youngjae, who sits like a zombie with silent tears that never end. He can't reach him though, being in the front and Youngjae in the back, so he just stares at the younger boy until he becomes blurry with tears, covering his face with his hands and breaking down at last. 

When they get to the hopsital, it's a mad dash inside, and Jaebum can only imagine what their faces must look like -- pale, tear stained and snot covered, hair a mess and makeup ruined. No one cares, of course, but Jaebum briefly thinks what a sight they must be. They learn that Mark is in surgery, and are told to wait in the lobby of the second floor -- the head trauma unit -- and everyone is in fresh tears once more. They hurry to the 2nd floor lobby only to be told they must wait. Jaebum collapses in an uncomfortable seat, while all the others do too, except Jackson and Yugyeom. The pair paces back and forth, Jackson occasionally sitting for a couple seconds before bouncing back up again, running frustrated hands through his hair. Yugyeom can't stop moving -- even standing he is tapping his foot or moving his hands -- and Jaebum wonders if he should force him to sit or not. He knows better than to tell Jackson what to do right now.

Jinyoung has woven his hand with Jaebum's, resting his head on Jaebum's shoulder and Jaebum can feel the hot tears soaking his shirt.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Jinyoung asks, voice hoarse yet a mere whisper.

"I-I don't know," Jaebum truthfully answers, and god, does Jaebum feel completely useless. He thinks what a ty leader he is, unable to console his group or offer the right words, unable to protect Mark, when Jinyoung squeezes his hand in reassurance. Jinyoung could always read Jaebum the best. 

Jaebum reaches over with his free hand to grab Youngjae's, surprised when he feels how cold it is. He tries to rub some warmth back into it, and Youngjae doesn't even seem to register his touch, but Jaebum doesn't stop. He watches as BamBam walks over to Jackson, grabbing his clenched hands and gently prying them apart, speaking to the older boy in a low tone through his own tears. Whatever BamBam says seems to make Jackson deflate a little, vulnerability shown briefly in his face, before he sits down with BamBam permanently. Yugyeom is still pacing.

After a few hours of torment, a doctor finally appears to give the group news about Mark's condition. They all wait, holding their breath in fear, and even Jackson doesn't speak. The doctor mentions Mark's fragile but currently stable condition, and they all sag against each other, Jackson crying into BamBam's shoulder just as Jinyoung also does into Jaebum's, each boy muttering "he's not dead!" in relief. Jaebum can feel his manager's hand digging into his shoulder, tense. Then the doctor continues, explaining Mark is in a coma and has had severe blood loss, paired with cranial swelling, and his outcome is still up in the air.

Mark might be fine. Mark might not remember anything or anyone. Mark might wake up but with brain damage. Mark might not wake up again. 

The relief they previously felt flees, and it's all the manager and Jaebum can do to keep them all upright. The manager also tries to get them to go back to the van, to go back to the dorm for the night, but Jackson and Jinyoung immediately resist, refusing to leave until they've seen Mark. Jaebum can see from the look on the others' faces that they feel the same, and Jaebum agrees with them.

They are allowed a brief visit, and seeing Mark with tubes stuck in him, deathly pale, unmoving, pains them all to the core. BamBam, sweet BamBam, tries to remind everyone that Mark can make it through this, and at least he's alive. Jaebum smiles weakly at BamBam's effort to stay positive and lift everyone's spirits, trying to support BamBam while at the same time unable to be positive himself.

They are all led away after that, even though Jackson tried to convince their manager to let him stay to keep Mark company, and Jaebum watches as Jackson's eyes continue to watch Mark even as he's pulled away, until he can no longer see around the wall. Jinyoung is the one leading Jackson, and BamBam grabs Yugyeom, walking hand and hand close together. Jaebum takes the time to do the same to Youngjae, who has still not uttered a word or come out of his trance, except to stare at Mark with a look of misery when they were in the room with him.

Back at the dorms, Jackson crawls into bed with Yugyeom, BamBam, and Jinyoung, who pulls his mattress over into the bigger room. Jaebum thinks it's best to join them, with Youngjae, but when Jaebum enters his shared room, he finds Youngjae finally breaking down. Jaebum gets scared -- Youngjae seems to be having some kind of panic attack -- and he quickly grabs Youngjae into a tight embrace. Youngjae falls apart in his arms, wailing, and Jaebum can't figure out the reason for the depth of his despair. They are all worried, sad, and terrified, but Youngjae is behaving more erratic than even Jackson was.

Youngjae falls asleep after exhausting himself, and Jaebum stays by his side, eventually falling asleep. He wakes to Youngjae crying tears into his shirt, and Jaebum tries to soothe him. Youngjae mutters something, crying some more, and Jaebum has to pull Youngjae away from himself so that he can understand him.

"What was that, Youngjae?"

The boy looks miserable, and looks at Jaebum with red, teary eyes. "It's m-my f-fault,  Jaebum! I-I didn't think that this w-would happen!" It's several minutes before Jaebum can get Youngjae to calm down enough to explain.

"What do you mean?"

"I-I saw water on the ground when we were practicing. Some-someone must've spilled some-something before our practice. I thought it was out of the w-way so I didn't clean it up, and now Mark might d-d-die because of me!" Youngjae is almost yelling by the end of his confession, tormented, and Jaebum just drags him back to his chest, rubbing his back, reassuring Youngjae it isn't his fault.

Now, Youngjae's zombie-like state last night makes sense. Mark must've slipped on the water when he landed, and Youngjae blames himself for not cleaning up the water when he saw it.

It's not Youngjae's fault, but it sure as hell is someone's, and Jaebum is going to find out. He feels all his grief channeled into long-tempered rage.

Funnily enough, it was mostly thanks to Mark (and Jinyoung) that Jaebum managed to mollify a lot of his anger when it arose. Now, there was no Mark to calm him, and Jinyoung would be in a rage himself once he found out that Mark was hurt thanks to someone's negligence.

Youngjae finally calms once he gets it into his head that Jaebum isn't mad at him and doesn't blame him, although he's clearly still affected by Mark's circumstances like everyone else, occasionally sniffing back sobs. Jaebum finds the others already up and moving, Jackson practically frothing at the mouth to leave to visit Mark. Jaebum hates the grimace and defeated look Jackson gets when Jinyoung sadly tells him they can't visit yet today and that they have to wait until noon. A knock is at their door, and Jaebum opens it to find their manager and JYP himself. They all gather together quickly, and JYP takes the time to hug each of them, his own eyes teary. JYP gives Jaebum a special squeeze on the shoulder and an understanding look in his eyes, and whispers, "Stay strong," and Jaebum wishes he were better at expressing himself so that he could tell PD-nim just how much that means to him.

They explain that all their activities will be halted, including individual activities. No one wants to do them right now anyway. The news about Mark has gotten out already, and JYP let's them know that for now, there will be no visibility from the group -- simply a statement for privacy and support. Mark's family has been notified as well, and will arriving late that night. BamBam and Jackson break down a little at that, knowing how horrible it would be for their own parents if something like this happened to them, being so far away, and knowing the grief that the Tuan's must be feeling.

Before JYP and the manager leaves, Jaebum pulls them aside to explain what Youngjae had told him. JYP's face becomes a thundercloud, nodding to Jaebum to show he understood -- Jaebum couldn't just walk into the broadcasting station's building and demand answers, but JYP could, and it was clear that he would.

A week goes by, with the group going to visit Mark at every opportunity, and Jaebum feels his rage boiling over with every day that passes and no punishment is meted out. Jackson gets Mr. Tuan's phone number so that he can contact the boys if something should happen while they aren't there. Jackson checks his phone a lot. Mark still doesn't wake, and Jackson has been acting more desperate. Jaebum expected Jinyoung to do the same, but surprisingly Jinyoung has taken a leaf out of BamBam's book and has been rather positive, watching over the others like a mother should. Jinyoung had come to him after a particularly hard day for Jaebum, trying to calm and support Yugyeom and Youngjae both while Jackson just sat on the couch staring at nothing, hugging one of Mark's pillows. He hugged Jaebum tight, telling him he'd worked hard. "You've held back, all for us. Let it out, Jaebum. I'm here for you."

Jaebum proceeded to cry pathetically all over Jinyoung, hugging him back like a lifeline. Leave it to Jinyoung to know that even their leader needed a break sometimes. Jaebum allows himself this time to wallow in the sadness over what has happened to his group mate, his best friend, his rock. 

After that, Jinyoung started his mother routine, allowing the duo to try to keep the others going while still allowing each other time for their own breakdowns. 

All of them continued to sleep together, piling mattresses and blankets into the maknae's room. Jackson always slept with his arms around one of Mark's pilows, and Jaebum always gave special attention to Jackson at night, rubbing circles into his back or simply allowing Jackson to curl into him to muffle his cries. Jackson's taking this the hardest, understandably. Despite their differences, he and Mark just get each other -- much like Jinyoung and Jaebum. It's a special bond.

Jinyoung informs him that Yugyeom is having nightmares, but that he and BamBam are helping him. Still, he makes sure to check in on him and gets him to sip soothing tea before bedtime in hopes that it will help.

10 days after the accident, and the news is filled with gossip about someone trying to sabotage GOT7 and Mark, implying the water found was left there on purpose. Jaebum manages to get to the broadcasting station, angry in the extreme, determined to find answers, but Youngjae appears and stops him in time. Over the next two days, Youngjae also has to stop Jinyoung and Jackson from doing the same, having seen the news.Yugyeom gets put on "hyung watch" to make sure they don't sneak out again and stir up trouble.

14 days after the accident, and Jaebum finds out the gossip isn't true, that some poor stage manager hadn't realized his water bottle leaked. His rage lessens, especially after the man comes to apologize profusely, but he knows it won't go away completely. He knows that from now on, he will forever and always check the stages before they perform -- every square inch.

15 days after the accident, people start speculating that the group is going to disband. Jaebum has to admit that if Mark isn't in the group with them, he's not entirely sure he wants to continue. He has never felt so helpless and so useless.

20 days after the accident, and Mark still isn't awake. JYP explains that they have to have a news conference -- it's been too long, and people are demanding answers. Jaebum wants to tell them all to off, but one look at BamBam reminds him that their fans are also worried sick about Mark and the group, and that despite the horrible journalists banging down the doors, the news conference would be for the fans, too. 

So they reluctantly prepare, waiting in a side room at JYP studios to be called in for the announcement and questions. Jackson hasn't spoken in days, except to talk to Mark in hopes that it helps bring him back, and he looks at Jaebum pleadingly. Jaebum knows that he's begging Jaebum to answer all the questions -- Jackson normally jumps at the chance, but Jaebum knows it will be all Jackson can do to not cry the minute they get out there. Looking at his group mates, his friends, his family, he sees the horrible toll this has taken on them all. No matter who was in that hospital bed, they would all be hanging on only by a thread. He gets them to form a circle, holding each others' hands tightly, and he tells them that he will do the talking. Jinyoung looks like he's about to protest, but when the manager calls for them to come out, tears spring to his eyes and he closes his mouth.

Jaebum is their leader, and the oldest with Mark gone. He can do this for them. He can do this for Mark.

JYP begins with the official statement before opening the floor to questions. Jaebum blinks in the bright lights, forgetting that a whole world has gone on around him while they drowned in sorrow. He manages to find fans in the back, silently holding up signs of support. He hadn't checked any social media since the accident, and had stayed away from the JYP building where fans could've been, but he had heard from BamBam about the overflowing support the fans (and non-fans) had given them. There had even been vigils held for Mark. Jaebum stares at the fans, sees the tears on their faces, and gives them a small, meaningful nod. He hopes they understand his gratefulness. He'll show them in a better way, next time.

He answers some basic questions, generally about how the group is holding up and what they've been doing. Jaebum gives honest answers, unable to stop a tear or two from escaping, but when one journalist asks what they'll do if Mark never wakes up, his anger boils up again. Jaebum clenches his fist, ready to go down and deck the guy, when a quiet buzzing sound interrupts his train of thought.

Jackson, who is sitting next to him, grabs his arm in a tight death grip. Jaebum thinks at first it's to stop him from punching someone, but then he sees the cell phone in Jackson's hand, and the desperately hopeful look on his face. He shows the cell phone screen to him. The text is from Mark's dad.

He's awake.

Jaebum and Jackson send one pleading look to JYP and then they bolt out of their seats when he nods once, having gotten the same text himself. A surprised roar from the journalists follows them as Jackson and Jaebum sprint to the van, the others trailing behind in confusion. Once in the car, Jackson practically erupts in noise, talking ridiculously fast in a mix of languages, urging their manager to drive, damnit, drive whie Jaebum explained to the others that Mark was awake, causing the others to hug each other in happiness, tension and excitement at their max.

They burst into Mark's hospital room, falling over each other in order to stop and look at Mark, his parents on either side of his bed. Mark looks up, startled, and smiles. "Guys...," he says happily, before Jackson is smothering him and the others follow, trying to hug and touch whatever part of Mark they can reach. They're all crying fresh tears of joy, Jinyoung wailing about Mark remembering them, and Jackson simply letting out a mantra of "Mark, Mark, Mark" while Yugyeom sobs in Mark's mom's arms. Youngjae sits on the edge of Mark's bed, rubbing his foot, while sobbing out, "I'm so happy! I'm so happy!" in English. BamBam holds Mark's hand while he jabbers on about everything that's happened, about how worried they were, and Mark, for his part, just sits there, taking it all, the smile never leaving his face.

After Mark's parents leave to get dinner, and after Jackson and Jinyoung have gotten their momentary fill of touching Mark to ensure he really is okay, that BamBam finally quiets down and the boys are able to talk without tears and grief weighing them down. Mark cries a little for making them worry so, telling them all that they look too thin and tired, and it hurts Jaebum's heart how Mark is trying to take care of them when it should be the other way around. So Jaebum tells Mark to shut up, leader's orders, and that Mark just needs to focus on recovering. Mark gives Jaebum a weighty stare, and Jaebum looks away.

When they are forced to leave by hospital staff (it's BamBam this time that refuses to leave, crying for the older boy until Mark promises to answer when Jackson calls as soon as they get home), the boys pile in the car, a lightness in their chests. Jackson talks non-stop, discussing with Jinyoung about how Mark had color back in his cheeks, and how bright his eyes were, as if they are medical experts who can expedite Mark's recovery, forming a plan to help him. Jaebum takes the time to talk to BamBam alone, worried about his outburst when they left. Jaebum realizes that he thought BamBam was handling things well when Mark was in his coma, but his positivity was a way to hide his fears from the others. Jaebum hugs the younger boy tight, apologizing for not seeing it before, how much he was hurting, and that he should've comforted him more. BamBam wraps his arms around Jaebum tightly, whispering how worried he was that Mark wasn't going to wake up, ever. Jaebum's so, so glad that he can say to BamBam that that won't happen -- Mark is awake and well. Afterwards, BamBam is much more like himself again, and Jaebum makes a conscious effort to watch him better.

The next few weeks find the boys settling back into a routine that is more like themselves, with the exception that Mark is doted on a bit more than usual. Mark hates it, Jaebum knows, but he puts up with it after Youngjae let's it spill what a mess they all were in their worry and confesses his guilt. Mark, in his usual silent way, understands immediately that they need this, they need to baby him a little, to make themselves reassured that he's really still here and awake, and to show how much they care. He also assuages Youngjae of any remaining guilty feelings, as Jaebum knew he would.

Mark is out of the hospital and slowly getting back into things. Jackson and Jinyoung fuss over everything, and Jaebum steps in when necessary, although he does his share of fussing in his own, subtle way. Mark, of course, knows he's doing it, but let's him every time, even when he fights Jackson and Jinyoung about theirs (although that isn't often). Yugyeom has taken to being Mark's personal assistant, and Youngjae his personal cheerleader. BamBam is his entertainment, whether Mark wants it or not.

One night, officially one month after Mark awoke, Mark waits for Jaebum outside his room. When Jaebum appears, Mark says, "I've done this with everyone but you," before pulling Jaebum into a tight hug.

"Thank you for worrying about me. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for taking care of the others. I know it must've been hard for you." Jaebum tears up a little at that, but manages to control himself.

"I'm just really glad you're okay," Jaebum whispers.

"Me, too." Mark gives him one final squeeze, and it's all Jaebum can do to not crush Mark to him again. He knows all of them will be haunted by this for a while -- Jaebum wants to keep Mark close, as if that would protect him. He kind of wishes he could tie all 7 of them together to keep them safe, as ridiculous as it is.

But then Jackson appears, zeroing in on Mark, and pulls the older boy to him. He shares a look with Jaebum, and Jaebum knows that Jackson will take care of Mark for now.

They are friends, brothers, family. They will all do their best to keep each other safe. Jaebum falls into a peaceful sleep with that knowledge.

This has changed them, and Jaebum knows they will never be the same. They will fall into old rhythms, and new problems will arise, new joys and new losses -- but as Jaebum watches the group, seeing them laugh and goof around, he knows they'll be okay for now. 

After all, they have each other.