Months are passing. Infinite left South Korea and now they're on their world tour. I am still stuck on the same place. Training,singing,dancing,company,nothing more. Now I have been Woollim's trainee for more than one year. I see news about Infinite on Twitter,media,how they're rocking their tour. But I am feeling so desperate. Like,I'm waiting for something to happen. After I graduated,a lot of job offers came to me. I rejected it all. But I regreted it as well. Those job offers were from big companies. I never planned on becoming an trainee,it just happened. If I wasn't one,I'd surely now work at those companies. Also,my parents miss me,but I can't go back. They told me to leave the company and accept job offers. I spent nights without sleep,thinking about my future and crying. What am I doing? I really want to become an idol,but what if that is just another empty dream? I waited. And waited. And waited for that opportunity. But company just keeps on telling us nothing. In February 2014,debut of girl group started spreading around Woollim. One week later it was revealed that girl group will debut in late 2014. I saw that as my chance. I worked really hard. 2 weeks later,possible members were listed. And guess what? I wasn't on it. But MinAh was. And 10 other girls were on it. Honestly,I was happy for MinAh but I was also and jelaous. But how could I say that to her? She has chance to debut,of course I'd be happy for her. She cried for me,telling me she doesn't want to debut without me. I wanted to say then don't to her,but I couldn't,she's my best friend. Later,in September,members for new girl group were confirmed. The girl group will be named Lovelyz.

,,I'm not debuting with them." - MinAh entered the practise room and smiled to me. Why was she so happy? She came to me and hugged me. Somehow,I felt relief. I never want to feel jelaousy over my best friend again. The girls who were debuting as girl group were Baby Soul,that pretty girl that debuted as solo singer before,Yo JiAe,also debuted as solo,Seo Ji Soo,that girl I really like,Lee Mijoo,my really good friend,Kei,I didn't know her to much but she looks cute,Jin,also debuted as solo,Ryu Su Jeong,also my good friend and Jeong Yein,she is really young and joined Woollim two months ago. I was kinda jelaous. After 2 years with that company,nothing just nothing. I started to feel really pissed off. As the time for their debut was nearing,I walked around the room and thought how lucky and happy they must feel now. Soon,they'll appear on TV and everything will be about them. Why wasn't I even enlisted as possible member? In practise room,I saw that trainee named Park Han Bi. She was crying.

,,Han Biah? What happened,why are you crying?"

,,I was...happy for her....she debuting before me....we were sad for not...debuting together...but such thing to happen to her..." - she sobbed really hard. Somehow,I knew she was talking about Seo Jisoo. They were best friends and Jisoo will debut with Lovelyz.

,,Seo Jisoo? Something happened?" - Han Bi started crying even harder. Later,I found out Jisoo was involved in some scandal. I was really shocked! Such thing to happen to her but she didn't even debut yet!

,,Anniya,CEOnim,Jisoo is not like that! She's good! She would never do those things!" - Han Bi cried really hard in front of our CEO. I have never seen her like that. Company went really crazy about this scandal. It will indeed harm Jisoo's idol career. I was really worried.

,,Han Biah,don't cry so much,please! I know she's not like that! She's my friend too! I'm sure everything will be solved!" - I tried to comfort Han Bi. I really became clode with her later.

,,Thank you,Eonni,you're really kind." - she thanked me with one big hug. So,Lovelyz debuted without Seo Jisoo. She was shocked and couldn't debut with them. But she didn't leave the group. I watched them from the TV. I will not practise with them anymore. Now,they're idols. When will I be like that? They look so happy on that stage. When the New Year's eve came,I decided to go back to the Serbia and forget everything. I missed my family. When I came back home,they told me a lot of things that happened. My sister got engaged,but she's two years younger,only 20!

,,Don't worry,sis,I won't marry soon! My fiance and me will travel first!" - I was so sad to be the last one to learn that. I spent one whole month in Serbia. While heading back to Seoul,I thought about giving up. Being an trainee really is great,but I can't go on like this forever. On the airport,one familiar figure waited for me. He was really masked with glasses and wardrobe. I smiled and recognized him immediately.

,,Oppa!" - I runned to Myungsoo.

,,Shhh,follow me!" - He grabbed my hand and we went to his van. In there he hugged me ,,How was the flight?"

,,Uhh,it was tiring..But why did you came? What if somebody recognized you?"

,,How not to come? Besides,nobody find out about me so I'm safe." - he smiled. I adore him. But he also said ,,I know how tired eyes look. Tell me why you cried." - I was really surpired. I grabbed my little mirror and looked at my eyes. They were a bit swollen,but a lot of people would think it's from lack of sleep.

,,How did you...?"

,,Tell me."

,,Oppa..."

,,Please." - he looked at me seriously and my eyes filled with tears again. I told him my fears and how I doubt everything and how I want to give up. How I don't know anything that's happening in my family,how my sister is engaged and how they miss me,but I really want to pursue my dream and I forgot about them all.

,,I know,I know. I really doubted about debuting too. All trainees do that. But when I did debuted,I rarely saw my family too. But I guess I can't compare to you since your family is on different continent. But hey,you worked hard until now. If you give up now,you'll regret it even more. What if I could debut? You'll ask those questions all the time while being stuck on some boring work all day. So,I'm telling you,don't give up yet. You're almost there." - he kept on saying that while playing with my fingers. I found that really cute. I leaned on his shoulder.

,,Last time you slept on my shoulder. So,payback now."

,,It's okay,sleep please."

,,But,thank you Oppa really..."

,,Nothing." - we arrived back at the company. I felt somehow full of energy after his words. So,I started dancing.

,,That's right I can't give up now. Not yet." - I danced like that. And singed and I was later really proud. As I stopped to catch some breath,I heard cursing out the door. I hurried to see who is that out mannered. Outside the room,I saw that girl named So Jin Ae. She is in Woollim for 7 years now.

,,Sh*t,stupid, ing sh*t. Why did I choose this stupid company?" - I saw tears rolling down her cheeks. I neared her.

,,Jin Ae Unnie? Hey."

,,What do you want?"

,,To talk." - I sat next to her. I gave her water to drink. She was really red from crying ,,It will be easier if you share."

,,Why would I have to share my problems with you?"

,,Because I think we have the same problem." - She looked at me. As she stared at me,she looked like she will open a bit.

,,Give me that water." - she drank a bit of water and started her problem. She talk how she was only 16 when she was accepted in Woollim. How she hoped she will debut soon and she even left school for it. How she can't do anything else expect for singing and how she is desperate. She thought she will get a chance in Woollim. And she thought she will debut with Lovelyz when she find out she was enlisted.

,,I even cut my family ties. They think this is all absurd and gave up on me. I really miss them,but I can't go back. My mother never answers her phone. And my dad never even calls. My sister sometimes remembers me only because she's big Infinite fan,but nothing more. I'm clinging onto this company for 7 years. I pray every night. What can I do?" - she really reminded me of myself. But her story is really sad.

,,Eonnie...Let's not give up. What if you give up now and later ask yourself ,,what if I could debut? Won't you regret it?"

,,But you don't understand..."

,,Don't understand what? Being 2 years or 7 years,every trainee thinks the same way. But the thing that keeps them to go trough it all is hope. So,let's not give up!"

,,You think so?"

,,Woollim will surely let you debut. I mean,after 7 years? And you're pretty,talented and smart. What are you lacking?" - she smiled. Finally.

,,Thanks,Chris. I thought you're just some girl who thinks she's the best only because of her looks,talents and brain."

,,Anniyo,Eonnie,don't think like that!"

,,I won't anymore." - she smiled at me. We talked some more and I really liked her. I made one new friend.

One day,on one ordinary day,one news came trough company.

,,What? Why will they debut new girl group? Lovelyz debuted only 5 months ago!"

,,Woollim wants to debut new girl group so what can we do."

,,When will possible members list be out?"

,,Tomorrow." - I still can't belive. New girl group will debut in 2015. I really hoped for MinAh and me to be at least enlisted as possible members. Whole night,I couldn't sleep. If they're debuting new girl group,it means the next girl group will debut years later. And I can't wait that long. This is my only chance. Tomorrow,MinAh and I were really nervous. I couldn't stop my heart from beating so fast. I thought I'll die. As I entered the company,I saw trainees gathered at one place. Some of them cried,some of them looked surprised. And they all looked at one wall. I knew that's enlistment paper. Ever step until I reached that wall was heavy as rocks. I really wanted to see,but what if I am not on that list? I apprached slowly. The trainees saw me coming and made some space. I heard one telling me ,,Congrats" with a smile. As I heard that,I hurried and looked at that paper. On the second place for the possible member,my name was written. As I saw that,tears formed in my eyes. I am the possible member of new girl group! I wanted to scream. I looked once again. I wasn't fooling around it really is written! Two places under me,MinAh's name was too!

,,M...MinAh,did...did you see..." - she still didn't reached the paper. As I called her,she tried hard to go trough all those trainees and reached me.

,,What? What does it say?" - she looked at me. I couldn't speak. She looked at the paper and as she saw our names she started screaming and hugged me,then hugged other trainees then jumping around like an moneky. I was still standing in one place and couldn't move. the first name on the list was So Jin Ae. When she saw that,she hugged me and thanked me for telling her not to give up. Also,Park Han Bi was on that list as well as 3 other trainees. Two days later,the name of the new girl group was revelaed.

,,Candy. New girl group's name will be Candy. Do you like it?" - CEO smiled at us. Now I'm possible member of new girl group called Candy.

,,CEOnim,why did you decided to debut new girl group? Lovelyz only debuted..." - Han Bi asked.

,,That's one good quienstion. I really wanted to debut one more group,that's why."

,,That's the only reason?"

,,Yes,hehe,do you not like it?"

,,NO,apsolutely,I love it,hahhaha,it's okay,hahahha" - Han Bi started smiling like crazy. So,after that meeting with him,we started practising like crazy. This is my only chance and I won't blew it. One month later,CEOnim said one sad news.

,,This group will be five membered" - there was 7 possible members. That means,two will need to be out. I was really scared ,,and I will reveal confirmed members of this group next week so girls,be ready."

,,But CEOnim,why so fast?" - one girl asked.

,,Because,your debut is set for August."

,,AUGUST?" - we all screamed in one voice. This August? That's for 3 months! Now it's May and that means the preparations for new group will start soon! One week passed really fast. I was really nervous and MinAh looked like that. Two will be out,and I hope that won't be us. But I will feel really sad for those 2 girls. We entered the company and the room where it will be revelaed confirmed members for new girl group.

,,Now girls,you all worked hard. So these are the confirmed members for new girl group Candy" - the first picture shown was of Park Han Bi. When she saw her picture,she jumped out her chair out of happiness. Next picture was of MinAh. She looked at me and I saw how surprised she was. Now,she will debut,but how about me? As I looked at her,I returned my look on the pictures when I saw my picture on it. It said ,,third confirmed member". I stood up and looked at it. Then I looked at the CEO and he smiled at me. I can't belive it! I will debut! As an idol! Words debut and idol started jumping around my head! MinAh hugged me. We will debut together! I needed to see who will the rest of the members be. 4th member was some girl called Choi Karen. She was quarter American. She looked really happy. But I then looked at So Jin Ae.She closed her eyes as she expected she won't be choosen.

,,And the last confirmed member will be...So...Jin...AE!" - CEO started applauding. Jin Ae still holded her eyes closed.

,,Eonnie! You'll debut!" - I came to her and she opened her eyes. There were joyfull tears inside of it and she just hugged me!

,,Finally! Finally,after 7 years! I still can't belive it! Thank you! Thank you,Chris! I'm glad we'll debut together!" - she cried really hard. I cried too. MinAh joined us and the rest two members. CEOnim asked us to scream our group's name for the first time.

,,Okay,hana,tul,set, URIGA CANDY NIDA!" - after grou's confirming,we went to celebrate. The five of us decided to drink a lot now and to learn about each other more.

,,Okay,Karen so you're our maknae,right?"

,,Neee! I'll be 18 in July!"

,,Omona,so young!"

,,I guess Jin Ae will be the leader since she's the oldest in the group." - MinAh said.

,,I will be proud leader hehe!" - Jin Ae was already drunk a bit. I think she still can't belive what is happening.

,,Who will be visual?" - Han Bi asked.

,,Uri Chris!" - MinAh was really drunk ,,Look ...how cute she issss...with those eyes..."

,,Yaah,I think we are all pretty!"

,,You stand out mostly!" - Han Bi smiled at me.

,,It's not on me after all..." - I really don't care who will be visual. I know that I just want to be part of this group. After some time,MinAh,Han Bi and Jin Ae were wasted. Karen is still minor so she didn't drink and I drank only a bit.

,,Aish,and I have to take that girl back to our flat...."

,,Chris Eonnie,are you happy?" - Karen asked me.

,,Huh? Of course I'm happy."

,,That's good. I like you Eonnie,please take care of me well."

,,Oh,I like you too,Karen! If you need anything just ask!" - I really liked our maknae. But MinAh was really wasted. Karen somehow took care of Jin Ae and Han Bi. But I still couldn't lift MinAh out of her seat. She was so stubborn.

,,Ah,I know who will make you stand up!" - I grabbed my phone and looked at the hour. It was already 1 AM in the morning.

,,I wonder if he'll come..." - I found Sungyeol's number in my phone and called him. He answered. But I could hear he was sleeping by just listening to his sleepy voice. I told him MinAh was wasted and that I can't take her home. His voice immediately brightened and he told me he'll come right away. I waited for him and when he came,he looked happy.

,,Oppa,I'm sorry,but we are debuting and she drank so much."

,,Chris,it's okay I know,CEOnim told us. We're all exited." - he smiled and looked at MinAh. He patted her and gently lifter her. He took her into his arms.

,,So where do you want to go with her?"

,,I'll do you a favour and let you take her whenever you want,Oppa. But please stay with her." - he looked me surprised and smiled.

,,Araso then..I'm going." - he left the restaurant with her in arms. I looked how he cared her. She's so lucky to be liked by such an wonderful person. I smiled and I thought about everything that happened today. I couldn't help but smile when I remembered how they showed my picture as confirmed member.

,,Waaa,you're smiling like that but not thinking about me,right?" - as I woke up from my toughts,I saw him.

,,Myungsoo Oppa! But...what are you doing in here?"

,,I came here with Sungyeol. But I didn't want to enter right away."

,,Ah,so it's like that..."

,,I want to congratulate you. Have you gotten time?" - we went together on one rooftop. I could see stars on this clean,May night. He some classic music and gave me his hand.

,,Are you in the mood for the dance?" - he smiled at me and I just grabbed that hand. We started dancing together. I felt like some princess dancing with her prince on some ball. I leaned my head on his shoulder.

,,Don't forget your promise,Oppa."

,,Hum?"

,,You told me you'll tell me everything when I debut. So,I'm waiting."

,,Doll,I'm determined to dance with you forever."

,,What?"

,,Nothing,you just reminded me of something."

,,Of what?"

,,Of an eternity."

,,Eternity?"

,,Uhm." - he smiled at me and looked me with his shiny eyes. We continued to dance like that until we saw Sun rising.