*Warning: I drop the f-bomb and a few synonyms of the male ia*

"."

There was nothing else to do really, he was powerless until the morning, where his friend would pay bail and get him out, his friend who was probably, if all went well, engaging in the act of ion with his hot girlfriend. This same friend who had set him up on Valentine's Day for the worst possible blind date, which turned into a bar brawl, which turned into his arrest and his current situation in an already occupied holding cell.

It was bad, it was really bad. He'd never been arrested, he didn't know whether he should call an attorney now, or even where to get an attorney. He was terrified, but at least he wasn't paired with a burly, tattoo ridden gangster that would take one look at him and make him his .

There was a sleeping figure on the bench of the back wall, he seemed rather lean and young, nothing Yesung couldn't handle in a battle of wits, right? He took a closer look, once he was positive the sleeping man wouldn't wake up and make a meat pie out of him.

The man had soft brown hair and pale skin, and a pair of large glasses falling off his nose. He seemed to be at home, or comfortable enough to be sleeping on the barely padded bench. He was, objectively (Yesung was not about to develop a crush on a dude in his holding cell), attractive. He had thin pink lips, barely parted, breathing out softly.

And at that fateful moment where Yesung decided he had creeped on him for far too long, his knee let out a loud crack and the stranger's eyes shot open.

That's it, Yesung thought, he's going to chop off my and feed it to goats.

None of that happened, instead, the man groaned and sat up. He took a look at his surroundings and let out a small exclamation. Then he looked at Yesung, running his eyes up and down his body a few times.

"Have you ever gotten drunk on wine," he asked rhetorically. "It's a calculated process, how to savour the wine while getting increasingly intoxicated. The hangover is, however, no less tedious."

He gestured at the paper cups and water pitcher resting in the corner of the cell. Yesung, absolutely terrified, obliged. you're already becoming his , a nagging voice in his head told him next thing will be a goat nibbling on you manhood.

He handed the man the cup and took a step back to his original place, as far away as possible.

"I'm Kyuhyun," the man said, "You?"

"Please don't feed my manhood to a goat, I'll become your , just leave my out of it," he blurted before he could form a coherent thought and answer the question the man, Kyuhyun, had asked.

"First timer huh? I bailed out a friend a while ago, he said holding wasn't as scary as movies made it. I'm a web designer, you have nothing to fear as long as I'm away from a computer."

Yesung gulped and nodded weakly. He watched the man scoot over on the bench and pat the space beside him. He obeyed immediately, not entirely convinced by the man's promise of harmlessness.

"So what did you do to end up in here on Valentine's Day? Exhibitionism? Disorderly conduct? Trespassing? Loitering?"

"I got in a bar brawl," he responded simply?

"I really don't see that, if you're terrified of a scrawny guy like me, I don't see how you could've achieved that."

Yesung let out a long breath. His story was quite the story, that started with his friend pitying him for spending yet another Valentine's Day alone. He had set him up with a guy he knew from a friend of a friend, nice but slightly sketchy. They went out to a bar, and Yesung found he wasn't his match and had wanted to leave before the guy offered one last drink, clearly not understanding the meaning of no. Yesung declined and... of course it all resulted in three broken chairs, a few smashed beer bottles, and bruised cheekbones.

"Just a really bad date gone wrong."

"Oh yeah?"

"Well you know, a really persistent dude."

Kyuhyun nodded, "that's what got me in here too. At the bar, minding my own business, when I picked up a girl's distress signal when a burly man was being too forward. I hit on him, he didn't like that so he tried to punch me and...I may or may not have broken a bottle of wine over his head."

Yesung let out a small giggle, feeling at ease. As it turns out, the stranger wasn't what movies had made it to be, a tattooed inmate with a criminal record as long as his arm and ready to snap anyone's neck if need be. He was easy going and smart (and uncannily attractive), he made Yesung feel nice and important.

"So what does a guy named Yesung do with his life and why does he go on disappointing dates?"

Yesung was a lonely guy, he worked as a sound engineer for a small record company. He spent a lot of time in his studio, alone, and had lost his touch with relationships. His last boyfriend had broken up with him because he spent too much time at the studio, and his girlfriend before that had said she couldn't compete with his love of music. He was unlucky in love or too dedicated to the job. He also had three pet turtles.

"I understand," Kyuhyun told him after the long winded explanation. "Well, everything except the turtles. Turtles? Really?"

This setting was odd, Yesung almost felt like he should be having this conversation over a candlelit dinner. He shook it away and proceeded to answer Kyuhyun. "Turtles are very intelligent creatures."

Kyuhyun's nose crinkled at this answer.

"They're calm and peaceful," he continued, trying to justify his point.

The look Kyuhyun gave him at this point was more amused than skeptical, but Yesung went on.

"When I'm at the studio, I let my turtles roam free and it doesn't bother anyone."

Kyuhyun laughed, "you're a bit of a basket case, aren't you?"

Yesung was about to protest but a short blond passed by the cell and called out to Kyuhyun. "Thanks again," she said, obviously flirting with him, "if you ever decide to swing for my team you know where to find me." And with that she gave him a lewd wink. Kyuhyun waved her goodbye and laughed.

"That was Sunny," he supplied, "she's the girl I saved from that creep. I think she fancies me, unfortunately for her, she's missing a preferably large appendage."

The offended squawk that spontaneously came out of Yesung's mouth made Kyuhyun giggle, then tell him, just to add to his indignation, "I think in this world, we have to be brutally honest to get what we want, and it's definitely not Sunny in her hot pink heels. You, on the other hand..."

A blush rose to his cheek and he stuttered to respond, "w-what?"

"Come on, I thought I was being obvious," Kyuhyun supplied. "You tickle my fancy, quite a lot I might add."

Yesung was stunned...and for a few reasons: he never expected to find a date, especially not one in a holding cell, and not with a very attractive guy like Kyuhyun. Hell, he was on board for this, despite his previous bad experiences with boyfriends or girlfriends. Kyuhyun was funny and smart and made him feel tingly on the inside. That was a good basis for a relationship.

"Yeah...?"

Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow, "yeah?" He asked, "is that you agreeing to me propositioning you? Or is that you questioning the basis of my attraction for you? I mean, this is pretty sudden but I'm pretty sure my friend is coming to bail me out in like five minutes so I just wanted to make sure you were fully aware of my intentions."

"Yeah...?"

Yesung's cheek flared up, and he felt very flattered and...interested.

Footsteps echoed down the hallway, coming closer and closer, with the distinct sound of jingling keys.

"So?"

"Yeah," he said definitely, "yeah I'd like that."

Kyuhyun smiled slyly, "you know that hipster café on the main? Wednesday at noon?"

"Yeah."

*

This arrangement worked surprisingly well, after their first official date at the café, not counting their first encounter in holding, Yesung and Kyuhyun got to know each other very well...in very many details...in a more private context...

They met up quite frequently. Since Kyuhyun's work was on the computer 99% of the time, and Yesung hid out in his studio, they hung out in the same room and shared their feelings and thoughts through sarcastic comments and bad puns. It worked well, and late at night, when the place was empty, they did occasionally get to be handsy with each other on the studio's flowery couch. Two months into their strange arrangement, they decided to introduce each other to their friends as an item.

"So who are you?" Heechul, Kyuhyun's friend slash boss slash partner in crime, asked, glancing quickly between the two. "I mean, you don't seem to frequent the type of place  Kyuhyun frequents. Kyuhyun, did you pay this man to play as your boyfriend?"

The general consensus around the table was to ignore Heechul.

"So how did you meet?" Sungmin took matters into his own hands since Heechul not to be trusted with interrogation, having experienced this type of situation with him around, Sungming knew that Heechul's rambling would eventually lead to intrusive questions about their lives.

"And when?" Ryeowook, Yesung's friend and coworker added.

"We met on Valentine's Day," Kyuhyun started and judging by the not so subtly kick under the table from Yesung, he knew he had to add that one little detail. The majority of his friends didn't know about the failed date he had that fateful night, that landed him into police custody. His brother had bailed him out the next morning, so nobody knew nothing about it. "We met in jail."

Chaos ensued, and despite his boyfriend being an utter , the cheeky grin on his face made Yesung's heart swell with joy and contempt. His short stay in jail had, in fact, turned out to be a romantic escapade in holding. Yesung could live with that.

A/N

This is my definition of evening, I was watching a bad movie that my sister desperately wanted to watch. I also had chocolate fondue and angel food's cake. That's what I get up to on Valentine's Day. 

(I really don't know what is happening with the spaces between paragraphs, but I have given up on trying to fix it, sorry)

I don't think I will be updating much in the future, as I have mentioned,  I have a crazy semester and very little time to spend on writing new chapters for my fics. Sorry. Maybe things will get a little better after midterms, but I seriously doubt it. 

Please comment, subscribe and enjoy, and a belated happy Valentine's Day.