"Ah, this is kind of... awkward, isn't it?", I said, as I ruffled my hair.
"What do you mean?", Xiumin asked with his clear voice cutting through the dusty morning air of my messy room.
"We. This. ...Waking up next to a stranger, after we didn't... You know... 'Do' anything."
"You think so? I think waking up next to a stranger after having would be far more awkward."
"Well, I never thought about it this way, but... I guess you're right."

To say that I was squeezing Xiumin's hand tightly would be an understatement.
I pretty much grasped it as if my life was depending on it. Still, the shorter one made up for his height in strength and didn't mention it.
Nervously I fiddled with my green bracelet as the club came in sight.
"They will notice...", I mumbled warily.
Xiumin gave me a reassuring squeeze.
"They won't. And even if they do notice, there's no need to worry."
I threw an unsure gaze to my bracelet. I had been so accustomed to it that I could tell the difference right away. The color was a little more on the dull side. Maybe more of a lime green?
I mumbled a few motivating phrases to myself. Now greet naturally.
"Hello Tao~"
Oh, . That came out forced, didn't it?
Still, the door man didn't seem to notice. Instead, he gave the two a friendly once-over.
"I haven't seen you in a while, Lu. You brought the little Baozi with you again, I'm happy for you."
And as the dark panda-like eyes shone with genuine benevolence, I couldn't hold back a smile. A thought struck me.
With the bracelet on, I wouldn't be able to truly appreciate his words.
When we actually entered the club, the anxiety began to come back. We went past the usual lot, greeting them with a quick wave, and made our way to the bar.
"Let's get you a little help to warm-up.", Xiumin said playfully. We weren't here to get overly drunk, but a little drink would probably help to calm my nerves.
"Lulu, long time no see! And you've brought along Xiumin, hello there!", Chanyeol greeted them happily.
"Hey Channie~"
As we sat down, the barkeeper looked at me with a tilted head. I almost began fiddling again.
"You're... Different. Not bad different-", he hastily added as he must've seen my expression falling, "-Just... A tad different from usual." His gaze fell onto my green bracelet and for a second he didn't say anything. Then he played along, teasingly asking:
"What can I offer you two lovebirds?"
I nudged him over the counter and he laughed.
"Surprise us?", I suggested with a shrug. "Oooh, now that's new~"
As Chanyeol worked busily, Xiumin discreetly rubbed my thigh in a calming way. I slightly relaxed. Chanyeol was my friend. He had already seen me without the bracelet. He was my family. There was no reason to be nervous.
"Ta-dah~ If I may present: My newest creation!"
A colorful drink was placed before us. It was grass green on the bottom and went through a sun-set-like color flow at the top. Of course with my exclusive crusted sugar on the edge of the glass.
"It's really good!", I exclaimed in honest approval, taking a deeper sip.
"You think so?", the tall boy with the crimped hair said with ecxitement. Suddenly he looked much more like the young 19-year-old he was.
I wouldn't have been able to see him the way he is.
"Then I'll name it after you. It's now officially called Bambi!"
"Oh, thank y- Wait, what?! I'm not Bambi!"
Chanyeol laughed loudly as Xiumin dragged me to the dance floor.
"Wait, wait! Wasn't Bambi a girl?!"
"Come on Luhan, let's go meet the others, don't fight with the cute bartender."
"You... You think he's cute?" I knew I sounded insecure and whimpish, so I added: "I mean, I know he's cute. He is, isn't he?"
"Luhan, are you serious?", Xiumin laughed as he nudged me.
"I meant cute as in '19-year-old-cute'. 'Kiddo-cute'."
"O-of course I knew that!"
The shorter one tip-toed to brush his lips against my cheek fleetingly.
"Stop being dorky, that's Chen's part.", he said lightheartedly as we approached said one, who was again dancing with Jongin, another regular at the club.
The two of them made an odd couple, but only on the first impression.
Jongin's skillful and passionate dancing alongside Chen's... Well, Chen was also pretty passionate, but more on an "I'm drunk and having fun"-level.
"Heyyy Xiu! And Luhan!", he greeted us enthusiastically, throwing an arm around our shoulders.
Actually, I was nervous to the point I wanted to just run away. Being at the bar, ok. But being on the dancefloor... I was afraid people would notice the lack of green happiness in my veins. But both of the guys didn't mention anything and as I swayed along in a rather reserved way, Chen almost jumped me in an attempt to force me into fooling around with him. I admired him so much that moment. His laugh was loud and hearty, it made me feel so warm and welcomed. Meanwhile, Xiumin shook his head at his friends' antics.
"How can such a hot guy as him stand such a hot mess like you?", he asked over the music, pointing at Jongin who was lost in the music, swaying sensually.
"You say that now, but just so you know: Outside here it's exactly the other way around~", Chen said as he leaned towards us, so Jongin wouldn't hear.
"You'd be surprised what it looks like in the bedroom~"
"Gross, Chen. Gross.", Xiumin chidingly said as I blushed.
As if on cue, Jongin called out for me. Though I couldn't compare with his dancing skills, we were quite a good duo. Even though I was hesitant at first, surely rather robotic in my movements, Jongin's flowing movements managed to pull me along. With satisfaction I noticed Xiumin's eyes shining with admiration. And clearly some form of lust. But also something else.
And as Jongin gave me one of his lazy, calm smiles and Chen laughed so lively, I felt very good, actually.
I was enjoying myself. Without it.

When we went over to the bar to relax, I already felt a little more confident. I had fun.
I slunk into a chair next to Tao, who usually payed the bar a visit before ending his shift.
As the four of us talked a bit about this and that(including a discussion about the now so-called 'kitty-cat couple' Jongin and Chen), I noticed something. The way Tao threw glances at our tall bartender.
With the bracelet on, I would have never noticed other peoples' feelings.
But now I did and thought more about whether it had always been like this. Chanyeol, as well, was smiling even more vibrant than usual as he brought the doorman his new 'Bambi'("Not funny!", I winced pathethically) cocktail.
As much as Chanyeol had smiled, he seemed to slump as soon as Tao had left. I could feel something wasn't right when he repeatedly glanced on his mobile phone.
"What's wrong, Yeol?", I casually asked as he flinched.
"It's... Uh, forget about it."
"Tell me, my dear dongsaeng.", I said with a hard smile. Aiming at the age hierarchy always worked and so he hesitantly answered.
"It's just... My baby sister had a fever when I left. I can't help but worrying about her being all alone. I'm watching out in case she gives me a call, but..."
"What are you doing here, go to her!", I replied forcefully.
I had always known that Chanyeol worked hard to support his little sisters' life, since the two of them were on their own. Still, the girl was only 6 and all on her own at night.
"I can't, you wanna get me fired?", he answered with a weak laugh.
"I'll take your place."
"For 7 hours? Now THAT's gonna get me fired even quicker."
"Can't you bring her to a friend or relative of yours?", Xiumin chimed in.
"I... Wouldn't know who-"
Just when I could sense Xiumin being about to offer himself(well, us), I had a better idea.
"Ask Tao."
"W-what? Why Tao?" He was so flustered. Cute.
"He just went home, he's surely not sleeping just yet. I'm sure he won't mind watching over your sis for today.", I said sneakily.
"Go, call him. And while you bring her over, I'll hold up here. I know this place better than my room, don't worry~"
"You... Are already worrying me right now. I'll go and call him...", he said hesitantly.
As predicted, Tao was more than happy to help his crush out. And as Chanyeol went (not before repeatedly telling myself not to burn anything down), I couldn't help but to feel a little pleased with myself for helping them out, in more ways than one.
Without it, I could be a reliable support to people dear to me.
I positioned myself behind the counter, immediately moving to make a drink for Xiumin to test my skills. As I said, I knew the menu, the prices and everything by heart. Holding up for an hour wouldn't kill me.
When Xiumin didn't immediately drink, but kept looking at me, I began to fidget again with the seam of my shirt.
"W-What?"
He smiled and took a sip through his straw, his eyes never leaving me.
"You're a very colorful person, Luhan.", he said with a tilted head, giving me a thorough look, "I think the colors suit you better than the signature green. Oh my, are you blushing?"
His eyes were twinkling mischievously.
He leaned forwards a little, making me uncounsciously hold my breath as his deeper voice murmured into my ear.
"You're cute. I'd love to make you blush a little more, but I guess that'd be inappropriate, seeing as you're at work. What a pity."
Then he backed off and stood up.
"Well, see you in an hour then? Have fun mixing cocktails.", he winked at me and left me to fight the rising heat in my cheeks.
Such a tease. I know he hadn't been like that on the first night we met. But I understood now. This playful way of flirting and teasing wasn't possible if you wore the green bracelet. There was no room for witty remarks if you immediately jumped someone.
Inwardly I cringed at the memory of my bold self. How we could both end up in this club under those circumstances - I'd never truly understand it.
The way he just stepped into my life, my room, my heart.
It was the only thing remaining surreal.

I really thought it was a dream when I had woken up with a firm hand around my waist, fully clothed. No one had ever stayed until the morning. Well, no one but Chanyeol, but that was really nothing but a platonic one-time thing.
We had gotten up and ate breakfast outside, seeing as I didn't have anything to offer.
Over breakfast, we had talked. At that point I had already known for sure that I wanted this, us, to work out.
And I had put the bracelet onto the table.
But Xiumin merely shook his head.
'I'm not gonna take it.', he had said.
'Simply taking it away by force will not change anything. You keep it. It's up to you whether you use it or not.' He was calm, not accusing in any way.
'...I'm scared.', I had broken out into the silence. For me it was a huge thing to admit this. But Xiumin's gaze was steady and reassuring.
'I'm... Terrified, actually. B-but I will try.'
I had loosely worn the bracelet around my wrist, without properly clicking it on.
That day, we had returned to my mess of a home.
Xiumin insisted helping me to clean up.
Everything was fully run-down and dusty. Xiumin didn't ask any questions. Not about the lack of any photos, not about the broken bathroom mirror and neither about the remains of the broken cellphone in the living room nor the amount of sleeping pills in my drawer.
He just switched on some very loud pop-music he liked and forced me to help him completely cleaning every room.
And all the while, the bracelet lay forgotten on my bedside table.
It had been two weeks, but I had successfully managed to keep my flat kinda clean.

"Cuba Libre, please."
Woken from my thoughts, I hurried to prepare a Cuba Libre for another kind-of-regular called Kris.
Then I noticed Xiumin staring intently at me from the dance floor. Oh. Had he been trying to get my attention? Then he began to dance along and I handed Kris his drink without even sparing him a glance, because... Wow. Just then, Xiumin had only swayed along slightly, watching over me attentivly, but damn. He knew how to move.
And yes, even from a distance his muscles flexed nicely.
Ugh, such a tease. I couldn't wait for Channie to return so I could join him on the dancefloor.
It might come as a surprise, but despite one or two kisses we hadn't done anything the past two weeks. We had mutually agreed on taking it slow, seeing where it took us. And I knew he wanted to make sure my feelings remained the same, without some bracelet telling me so.
And they did. Actually, without the happy haze fogging my brain the attraction I felt towards him was only growing steadily, day by day. I was so grateful my attraction towards him was strong enough to even outdrown the green stuff in my body. I looked down onto my wrist, where two bracelets were. One was loose and dark in the club's light and the other one was gleaming in a lime green. Today was some kind of a test, I knew it.
I had been wary, too anxious to face all those people without the spell of inviolability.
It was stupid, I knew it. And even though the temptation was still there, a look over to Xiumin drowned out my inner voice screaming to finally click that thing around my wrist properly.
I slid down the cheap green glowing plastic-bracelet and idly placed it below the counter. I didn't need it anymore.
Then I saw Kris clenching his fists on the counter and I looked up to see Xiumin... Being flat-out d by Sehun.
"What the hell.", I muttered.
Sehun, with the smile ever so present on his face as he was wearing one green bracelet clicked on and a second one loosely dangling along, was obviously trying to flirt with Xiumin. His lanky figure was dancing just a little too close, his arms were purposefully running down Xiumin's much more muscular ones and I seethed.
Damn him. He had so many guys, why did he have to touch what was mine(or what would be mine, in the near future)?
How dare he?
I trusted Xiumin, yes. But I was so angry.
If I had worn the bracelet, I would have simply run over to them, throwing myself in between. But I had a responsibility here. I couldn't just selfishly leave and put Chanyeol in a spot.
Two weeks ago I was unable to put other people before me.
And so I watched with gritted teeth as Xiumin surely and firmly rejected Sehun's advances.
Xiumin was strong and mature and I knew I could count on him. Still, the sight maddened me. The little brat was so persistent. But hadn't I also been that persistent, a tiny voice asked me. What made me so different?

When Chanyeol returned I hardly heard him thanking me as I immediately rushed over to the dancefloor where Sehun was trying to forcefully integrate himself in between Jongin, Chen and Xiumin.
This time I was quicker than Xiumin, slapping his hands aside.
"What are doing, Sehun?", I questioned angrily, "He's not interested, obviously!" The blonde one only pouted.
"Aw, come on Lulu!", he whined childishly, "Let's have some fun! What's the problem? We can always share a little, can't we? You have a bracelet, I have two - It'd be the night of our lifes!"
"What the is wrong with you?!", I hissed, shoving him roughly.
"Luhan.", Xiumin said calmly, laying a warning hand on my forearm.
"You're not a 'thing' to share!"
"I know that. But he is not able to understand that. It's not his fault."
Xiumin stepped before me. To protect Sehun from me or the other way around, I didn't know. Instinctively, I wrapped an arm around Xiumin in a possessive manner. Of course he was right. Sehun merely blinked at me, fighting to regain his balance. Of course he didn't understand. I wouldn't have understood it, either. And that thought scared me.
"Lulu, what's wrong with you today? You're no fun at all!", Sehun broke out, as he once again happily advanced. Suddenly his wirsts were grabbed by Kris, who had appeared behind him.
"That's enough."
I watched in a mix of amazement and horror as Sehun began to struggle against the grip and I saw tears of desperation running down his cheeks. Repeatedly, he hit Kris with all his might but the taller one didn't budge at all.
"Go away!", he screamed loudly, hitting the broad chest again and again, "You don't make me happy! You make me feel scared and you make me feel angry - I hate you!" Kris simply nodded at Jongin before dragging the shouting teenager away.
"Well, that was... Interesting.", Xiumin carefully said.
I didn't reply.
"Luhan? You're ruining my shirt."
I was gripping his shirt so tightly, my knuckles were white.
That could have been me. Maybe, if it had been me... I wouldn't have fought for Xiumin. Maybe I'd have just agreed to Sehun and tried to talk him into a . The idea sickened me to a point I just wanted to vomit. I felt more fear than ever as I wordlessly dragged Xiumin behind me, outside and into the cool air.
"Are you alright, Luhan? You want to leave already?"
"I wanted to talk to you.", I said calmly, holding his hands with my trembling ones.
I inhaled deeply as Xiumin patiently waited, his attentive eyes trained on me.
"Actually, I might be quite disappointing.", I blurted out.
"I'm pretty scared of most people. And I'm anxious and weak-willed. I have no idea what I did to deserve your attention. But still..."
I slid the bracelet off my wrist and clicked it open. With a quick and determined movement, I broke the bracelet at the hinge. The breaking noise echoed in the otherwise deserted and quiet street.
Holding out my slightly shaking hand, I offered him one of the pieces.
"...If you would still have me, I'd be very happy."
Xiumin gave me a genuine smile as he reached out to carefully grasp my hand.
"I'm very proud of you.", he said sincerely.
Then he held my hand up to his lips to place a soft kiss on my cold fingers.

"And I'd be even more proud to be able to call you mine."

Tadah~
I was asked for a sequel and there you go.
I had half a heart centering the sequel around Sehun only, but that seemed kinda mean to me xD
Anyways, I'm honoured people actually read the story and three people even asked for a sequel - That's new!
However, there's still no , sorry 'bout that. I'm not confident in writing actual - besides that it didn't actually fit what I had in mind~
Again, thank you for reading this and any form of feedback - I appreciate all of you deeply ♥

Love,
Sugar-and-Salt ♥