It was still raining. 

She woke up late.

She was still Jessica Jung and the headache had not faded. 

She stared herself in the mirror. A familiar gorgeous face was staring right back at her and it had no make up on.

The girl was wearing a plain T-shirt with not-so-stylish training pants while bare-footed. 

How long has it been since she cared about her looks?

An image flashed before her eyes. An image of hers waving to hundreds of flashing cameras with a fake smile. 

Colored eyebrows, eyes surrounded by thick eyeliner and long eyelashes that did not belong to her, pink glossed lips, styled wavy hair.

A face that felt like it was covered with another layer. 

Branded dress, painful high-heels, designer bag and heavy accessories which the image was wearing were the complete opposite to what the girl in the mirror had on her body now. 

Did she miss being her?

She did not think she did. 

Another image appeared. It, too, was of hers. 

The clothes of this girl seemed a little casual but as costly. She had less makeup.

She held a mic and unlike the first image, her smile looked very genuine. The audience in front of her also mirrored her expression. Their hands were up in the air waving along the melody. 

So...

Did she miss being her?

*********

She came downstairs. A peek through the kitchen window showed her Yul cooking with a mask on. 

Yul saw her. Although the mask only revealed his eyes, it was evident that he smiled. 

She went inside. 

Usually, he would stop her by waving a cucumber at her. Yul said she was too distractive that it was difficult to focus. 

But this time, he didn't.

"Why are you wearing that?"

She pointed to the mask. 

"I have a bad cough.", Yul looked at Sooyeon. 

"What do you want for breakfast, today?"

"Ummm..anything really spicy."

"Really? You can't even take it well."

Yul gave her a questioning look. 

Sooyeon frowned at him. 

"Okay. That's it then.", with a smile he said. 

"Good boy."

She patted his shoulder teasingly and went out to take a seat. 

*********

Sooyeon walked along the path. The snow and the colour of the leaves indicate that it's autumn. 

It's been almost a year...

Her head became to hurt again. It did as soon as she left Yul. 

Should I go back or not?

What if I go back and what if I don't?

When she thought of her company and entertainment industry with so called friends, she remembered those looks, whispers, gossips and the fingers pointing towards her. 

She remembered crying her heart out as she read the hateful comments about her. 

She remembered that producer who yelled at her to go away when she was a no-name rookie but all smiled and humble when she became famous. 

She remembered the unbearable embarrassment when she caught her boyfriend on a date with one of his flings in front of her friends. 

The stinging pain she felt whenever she thought about him was still there. 

Sooyeon shook her head. 

She had always been a good girl, holding everything in. 

She did not want to live her life trying to impress others, pretending, smiling to fake people and
miserably.

She could be selfish and live her life in her way at least this once, could she not?

But then again would she really be able to live a life completely different from how she had lived all these years?

*********