WARNING: can be triggering. Mention of blood. Don’t read if you have had or have depression/anxiety/ any mental disorder or a past in self-harm. If you have any mental disorder or if you self-harm please seek help or talk to someone you trust.

Theme: Angst

Pairing: Junghope

A/n: please read the warning beforehand! 

 

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Tell me goodbye

I can’t even let you go

You’re fading away with every step you take towards me

I’m just here momentary

Filling up an empty space

But as you come closer towards me

You start to disappear

 

Hoseok wanted this moment to last forever. The closed eyes in front of him. the slight smile across the other’s face. He loved this sight.

 

But it didn’t last forever. A couple of seconds actually. Soft lips met his, and he could feel his hear beat in his throat.  He felt his face glowing a slight reddish. Lips colouring pink from excitement. Hands getting sweaty. Legs turning to jelly and temperature rising to more than humanely possible.

 

And as soon as their lips met the warmth disappeared. Leaving a pair of cold lips with a fading colour of cherry pink. 
And a silence.

 

The silence was only disturbed by their breathing. Slow but steady. It lasted for a long time. 
Maybe even forever.

 

But Hoseok couldn’t keep it up. He was distant, in the dark and moving away further from the dark, from the warmth surrounding the person before him. He knew he couldn’t stay, he would leave any moment now, and don’t come back. He wasn’t meant to stay at one place. Drifting from place to place, meeting different people. But never getting close enough, as he knew he would only hurt them. He couldn’t even keep himself safe from himself.

 

Jungkook was different. He wasn’t like the others. And for once Hoseok didn’t want to leave. He forgot about his past, his difficult self and met Jungkook. But he knew he couldn’t stay. He would only hurt Jungkook. But also himself.

 

And as he was different than the others. Jungkook was pushed away. But he didn’t care and with every step Hoseok took away from him. he took two towards him.

 

But it wasn’t for the better.

 

Hoseok knew this day would come. He knew he would blow up someday. He knew it would happen soon. He knew he should have been alone when it would happen. 
But he wasn’t.

 

He didn’t remember anything when he came back to his senses again. He looked around. Broken furniture. Broken glass shattered around on the floor. He looked at his arms, he himself too was broken. He noticed the small boy sitting across of him. shivering as he cried. Hoseok didn’t have to ask. He knew. 
And he couldn’t stay.

 

He left the next day in the morning. As he spent the night comforting the younger. Making sure he wasn’t hurt more. As soon as Jungkook fell asleep he removed his arms where the younger was held in. he stepped out of the bed. He looked at him. sleeping softly curled up into a little ball. Hoseok sighted. He leaned forwards and placed a soft kiss on the other’s lips. He took his bag from the floor and walked out the room, out the house and out of Jungkook’s life after two years.

 

“Goodbye Jungkook. It was nice knowing you.”