*Step*
 

*Step*

*Step*

She slowly walked to her desk, her eyes fixated upon the floor as though it was of great fascination and her black wavy hair covering most of her face, as she arrived the top was a mess of profanity, lewd body parts and insults etched upon the wooden top one which read ‘ugly mermaid’. Her eyes, once brown with defiance, had long since dulled into soulless windows that peered into the abyss with no wonder for the dark, only defeat.

Class started as usual, the students would greet the teacher in monotone followed by the teacher giving a brief rundown of the class to come and once the teacher turned to the blackboard, it began. First it was a tissue and then scrunched paper followed by an eraser, all in attempt to elicit a reaction.

If she acted, they would win, satisfied they got her angry it would be their victory. Thus, she sat there, taking notes and ignoring the projectiles that rained upon her, ignoring the humiliation that constantly dampened her life.

-

The bell rang for recess, quickly packing her things she darted for the door. ‘Where do you think you’re going?’ the teacher called causing her to abruptly pause as she reached for the door handle. ‘Clean up after yourself before you leave’ indicating towards the litter around her desk, the three boys that sat around her table snickered. ‘Yeah, don’t be so inconsiderate’ the blond one called out. ‘Yeah, you may spend all that time in the bush but don’t be such a pig’ jeered the brunette who sat in front of her, while the black haired boy giggled trying to hold back his laughter. This was her limit, tears welled up in her eyes, and shooting the three perpetrators a look that could kill, she hurriedly picked up the rubbish and threw them into the bin. As she left through the doorway tears could be seen glistening upon her face. The black haired boy, who could not hold his laughter in any longer, burst out laughing hysterically. Realizing the true perpetrators of the scene, the teacher turned to the boys, ‘you three need to grow up and stop with the bullying’

‘We were only playing around sir’ retorted the black haired boy

‘You may see it as fun but try looking at the situation from her point of view! I highly doubt running out of the class crying is a sign of enjoyment’ the teacher snapped back causing the boy looked down shamefully as his friends laughed at him for being told off.

With her head hung low, her hair covering her face, she hurriedly walked passed the giggling girls and the gawking boys, their attention an insult to her injury.

~

Slowing down, she reached her destination; a set of black Victorian gates of intricate design and the walls that connected to it, colored with crawling vines. She pushed the decrepit gates caused them to creak as though in pain and then, before them lay the school gardens teeming with color.

A sea of green grass greeted her that seemed to be dotted with small white flowers, further ahead various flowery plants bloomed on island like flowerbeds on the green sea. A path of rather large stones lead formed a path of stepping-stones, guiding the visitor to the center. With a deep sigh, she stepped upon the first stone, thinking of what had just transpired, she took a deep breath, exhaled and stepped on the second stone, she then envisioned her desk, a sketchpad for obscenity, letting her anger wash away she inhaled deeply and exhaled. Thus, repeating for each step she took, her troubles alleviate a little and the weight upon her heart was lessened. As she walked towards the center of the garden, she was greeted with red and pink camellia followed by blue and violet hydrangeas, the flowers seemed to bow before her as she walked by. The path narrowed and the green sea greeted her once more, lifting her upon until she arrived at the center, a small hill atop the garden on which situated a long wooden chair, its legs gripped with the same vines which decorated the front gate. She sat there, drinking in the sight, her fascination with the garden were the reason for one of her nick names ‘fertilizer girl’ which she paid no mind as it was the least of the offensive things they called her. As she sat there, she would quietly watch the bees buzz around the flowers, the birds chirp in the trees and the gardener tend to the plants. The gardener that drew her attention was not someone of princely qualities, however, the young man still entranced her. She would watch as he weeded the grass, pruned the roses and watered the flowers from afar, too afraid to approach him. She watched, enchanted by the man’s attentiveness to his tasks as her mind was whisked away to another world, where flowers bloomed as far as the eye could see in as many colors as the mouth could speak, her only companion, the gardener as he would smile at her while tending to the garden and she would dream that one day, she would have the courage befriend the gardener and they would converse about all the different flowers that existed till dusk. Her eyes closed and time seemed to cease to exist.

Alas time consistent, prevalent and cold, regardless of one’s attentiveness, it waits for no man. The bell rang once more, bringing her back to the harsh reality and once more she returned back to class, her legs seemed to grow as heavy as her heart did. However, once class had ended she would once again return to the garden, and when the gardener wasn’t there, she would go and smell each different flower and gaze upon them, wondering what secrets they could tell if they could speak.

~

Days came and went and soon spring was in its peak. Upon a particularly hot day, the school gathered in the gym for an assembly, for a big announcement. As usual the school band set the mood with a musical number and various academic awards were given to up moral. Soon the applause died down, the principle, a short balding old man with a squeaky voice, rose to the microphone and cleared his throat. “Ahem, good morning students, today I am here to make an announcement. We, as a school, will be evolving, modernizing and therefore, in the process, we shall be getting a swimming pool”, the students cheered loudly as the principle attempted to calm them down ‘hopefully the pool will be completed before the intense summer heat’ he gleamed. The school cheered, the boys ‘wooed’ and the girls squealed, the principle tried to settle the students down to further his announcement however, seemingly unable to do so, he gave up and attempted to speak over them ‘h-however, due to restriction of space, quiet please, the pool will be in replacement of the garden which we will begin removal of tomorrow’.

Silence overcame her, everyone was talking, but she couldn’t hear a thing, deafened by her own racing heart. The crippling cold began to crawl upon her, the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, her breaths became shallow, a stinging hollow pain struck her chest, then emptiness, solitude and fear…

The students returned to class with everyone a chipper, the euphoria of a new playground for the summer had become the hot topic for everyone, but one girl. The one spot of darkness in a room full of light, her existence was ignored, her presence unfelt. She had become lifeless, slow dragging steps to her desk; her eyes seemingly peering into nothingness, her teacher’s voice had became the wind and her mind gone with it.

“Hey loser! Why the long face!” yelled the blond boy, the girls around him giggled.

“If you’re such a crybaby why don’t you go to your little garden and cry” the brunet called out knowing full well the reason for her mood. The black haired boy just sat there smiling in agreement to his friend.

She gave no response, not a glare, not a look, not a breath even as the verbal abuse escalated.

The verbal bullying continued until class started, then, the projectiles began. With her dazed look and her robotic demeanor, no matter what the boys threw at her, she did not shift. Tissues changed into paper, paper turned into pens, which turned into erasers aimed at her head, however; even so she, nothing. Determined, the blond boy, impatient from being ignored, threw his whole pencil case, which caused the teacher to yell, “STOP! NARCISSUS! GET OUT!”

~

School ended and she, defeated, decided to head straight home.

Angry and frustrated, Narcissus stopped her outside the school, his eyes b with hatred, pushed her over and poured the contents of her bag on top of her and began kicking dirt at her with a devilish grin “look at you, disgusting, you should clean yourself up! Hey Florian help me cover up this piece of crap so no one steps on it!” the brunet laughed hysterically and joined in, covering her in soil. Sand drizzling from her hair as she coughed and spat at the dirt that got in . Leaving her surrounded by gawking students the laughing boys ran before the teachers could come. Looking at her belongings scattered in the dirt, her body showered with embarrassment, she could only weep, not from the pain, from the abuse or from the humiliation, but for she would have nowhere to go, nowhere to belong, no where to cry her heart out.

The sun set as she sat on the wooden chair atop the garden’s small incline, looking up at the orange sky until it fading to a dark blue, her heart was heavy and her mind bleak. When the stars arrived, she left, picked a single yellow chrysanthemum for her own.

~

Day came once more, the sun shone as it did every other day and she walked to school under the cloudy sky she saw the young gardener uprooting the flowers near the gate, wincing at the scene she quickly ran towards him and pulled his arm away from the now broken stem.

“Oh, yer the girl whose always around here” he said with his usual gentle smile “Sorry bout all this but, just doing my job”

Her eyes furrowed with doubt as a look of shock and hurt washed upon her face.

Confusion struck the gardener as he looked at her expression ”there are plenty of gardens around, or you can just grow your own” giving another yank and snapping the flower from it’s broken stem.

“Here kid,” he said handing her the broken sweet pea, “a memorabilia of this place, now go to class, I have a lot of work ahead of me”, angry she kicked him hard on the shin leaving him to curse in pain as she ran to class.

~

The rest of the day flowered liked a river, unyielding, English, Math, stolen calculator, recess, apple cores thrown at her by the brunet and then back to class for history and science with Narcissus on a personal vendetta to further humiliate her. Like a lifeless corpse, she paid no mind to his antics, for her mind was elsewhere. Her thoughts were wavering, on the flowers that were weeping petals.

When the bell rang a final time, she went straight to the black gates, now removed of its vines looking bare and incomplete. No longer welcoming she stood before the looming gates, the flowers that stood just behind were now replaced with divots in the dirt and the stone steps now seemed further away with the ones nearest to the gate now removed. The thought of what may lie further beyond the gates played in her mind, gnawing as she left for home, under the arrogant watch of Narcissus and Florian.

However, the feeling of regret clawed in the back of her mind as the paranoia grew, putting doubt in her mind and latching at her legs until she became a puppet to her own fears. In an instant she spun around and began running, back to the path from whence she came and straight towards the vine-less gates.

Rushing past the entrance, past the path with the missing stones, she was greeted with broken flowers strewn across the floor, the remaining stone steps marred by dirt and graffiti reading ‘feces’, ‘mute’, ‘dirt girl’ amongst other profanities, bits of her beloved wooden chair embedded along the destroyed flowerbed. The scene before her was a almost a post apocalyptic scene, her eyes were taking in the sight but her mind was in disbelief. Who? No, she knew whom but why? Why would they want to further destroy something that was already near its end? However she was answered by a cruel snickering from beyond the garden as a group of student was seen laughing at her from afar, in particular the Florian and Narcissus holding baseball bats and surrounded by a laughing group of friends.

Her heart sunk to the ground and she began to cry silently. Her tears dotted the final stone step she stood on, and soon the raindrops joined it. Her tears could no longer be seen, as the rain grew heavier. Sobbing, she slowly began to pick up the scattered flowers she could find into a pile, looking up at the raining sky ‘I’m so scared’ she thought to herself. Suddenly, an umbrella obscured her vision of the sky, shielding her from the rain, was the black haired boy.

As he crouched down to bring the umbrella closer, she could see he was panting slightly and his uniform below his shoulders were damp with rain. ‘I- I’m sorry’ he blurted out nervously, her expression furrowed with confusion.

‘T-this, this mess… it was my friends doing, they went too far this time, no… we’ve always gone too far’ he said shamefully avoiding eye-contact

“I’m really sorry that I’ve hurt you so much… I didn't realize… no… I’m making excuses again, I noticed, but I ignored, the things we do to belong” his eyes darting at the chaos “it use to be so beautiful, just because they are demolishing it for a pool doesn’t mean those idiots can deface it for a laugh or revenge” a small sigh escaped his mouth as the silence between them was only drowned out by the sound of rain.

“Here” he said holding a small and delicate flower in his hand, “It’s a rue flower, it’s been called the flower of regret…” when she looked at him confusingly he replied, “my parent’s are florists and we own a flower shop”. He awkwardly smile in attempt to diffuse the tension, “I feel like I cannot say sorry enough… I- I won’t hassle you from now on, and I am also sorry for my friend’s action, I’ll speak with them, if you don't forgive us, I can understand” he slowly placed the flower before her.

“I live close so take this umbrella” he placed the umbrella next to her and awkwardly turned to leave, his black hair quickly becoming wet from the rain.

“A-Ah”

Surprised, the black haired boy quickly turned around and stared around for a moment, for a second wondering where the sound had come from. Until he realize it had come from the girl who quickly grabbed a broken twig and wrote on the dirt “Name?”

“Jay, it’s Jay” he replied.

‘Madeline’ she scrawled on the dirt before pointing to herself.

“Madeline” Jay whispered to himself, the mute girl in his class now had a name he thought, “I’ll see you tomorrow then” Jay said with a smile before running into the rain.

~

The next morning when Jay got to class he saw Madeline, her green eyes catching his a few seconds, then she returned back to staring out the window, which did not surprise him considering the emotional torture him and his friends had caused he had not expected her attitude towards him to change. However when he arrived at his desk, upon it was a single white tulip.