*Step*
 

*Step*

*Step*

As she slowly walked to her desk, her eyes never leaving the floor before her until she reached her desk, the top a mess of profanity, lewd body parts and insults aimed at her. She had long gotten use to the ever increasing, no longer even reading the newer ones glistening with fresh ink ‘human fertilizer’.

Class started as usual and once the teacher turned towards the blackboard, it began. First it was a tissue, then some rubbish and then an eraser, all aimed at her, to hurt her, to humiliate her and to elicit a reaction. She knew if she acted, they would win, satisfied they got her angry they would be victorious. Thus she sat there, taking notes and ignoring the bombardment of missiles at her, the human target from her classmates.

As the bell rang for recess she quickly got up, her patience was wearing thin as the growing amount of litter surrounded her table grew. Packing her things she headed towards the door, away from it all. ‘Where do you think you’re going?’ the teacher called causing her to abruptly pause as she reached for the door handle. ‘Clean up after yourself before you leave’ indicating towards the litter around her desk, the three boys that sat around her table snickered. ‘Yeah, don’t be so inconsiderate’ the blond one called out. ‘Don’t be such a pig’ jeered the brunette whose desk was in front of hers all the while the black haired boy covered his mouth in attempt to hide his laughter. Tears welled up in her eyes as she was at her limit, shooting the three stooges a deathly glare she hurriedly picked up the rubbish they and threw them into the bin. As she left through the doorway, tears now streaming from her face, the black haired boy who could not hold his laughter in anymore burst out laughing. Realizing the true perpetrators of the rubbish the teacher turned to the boys, ‘you boys need to grow up and stop bullying her’ he said sternly, in which the blond haired boy retorted ‘we are only playing around sir.’  ‘It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt’ the teacher replied.

With her head hung low so that her hair could cover her face now wet with tears she hurriedly walked passed the giggling girls and the gawking boys to her haven.

~

She slowed down as she reached her destination, her one solace, her haven and her Garden of Eden. She arrived at the front school garden, the ground covered by a sea of green grass dotted with small white flowers and the boarders bloomed flowers of every color, cut through the center were stones like Lilly pads forming a path ahead. With each step she felt her troubles alleviate a little. Beside the path were shrubs teeming with red and pink camellia, the blue and violet hydrangeas followed, bowing before her as she walked by. Beyond the hydrangeas were tiny green bushes cut into round shapes and Japanese maple trees arching above her as if shielding her from the sun. As the path narrowed and the flowers on either side were replaced with perfectly cut hedges. She arrived at her usual spot, a lone wooden seat with veins of vines slowly crawling up its legs, situated above a small hill overseeing the whole garden and shaded by a large green tree. She sat there, at her usual spot, breathing in the sweet scents eased her pain and as she sat viewing the scenery, quietly blending in with the background, she would watch as the gardener, a young man with red hair and a twinkling in his eyes tended to the garden. She would quietly watch as he weeded the grass, pruned the roses and water the flowers too afraid to approach him. She watched, enchanted by the man’s attentiveness to his tasks as her mind was whisked away to another world, where flowers bloomed as far as the eye could see in as many colors as the mouth could speak, with only the gardener tending to the fields as she sat on the wooden chair listening only to the gentle breeze as it blew by.

The bell rang once more, bringing her back to her harsh reality and once more she returned back to class, towards the mockery that was her life. However, once class had ended she would once again return to the garden, and when the gardener wasn’t there, she would go and smell each different flower and gaze at their wonder while her worries seem to float away.

~

Days went by and as the middle of spring passed, the school gathered in the gym for an assembly, as there was a big announcement. As per usual the school band opened with a musical number, the beginning segment of ‘spring’ by Vivaldi, followed by a few academic awards achieved by some students. As the clapping died down, the principle got upon the stage and cleared his throat. ‘Ahem, good morning students, today I am here to make a large announcement, we, as a school, will be expanding and getting a swimming pool hopefully to be completed before the intense summer heat’ he gleamed. The school cheered, the boys ‘wooed’ and the girls squealed, the principle tried to settle the students down to further his announcement however, seemingly unable to he gave up and tried to speak over them ‘h-however, due to restriction of space, quiet please, the pool will be in replacement of the garden which we will begin removal of tomorrow’.

A dome of silence overcame her, everyone was talking, but she couldn’t hear a thing. The crippling cold began to crawl upon her as her chest, her breaths became shallow, a stinging hollow pain struck her chest before it felt empty and then, she felt alone…

Class continued as usual with everyone a chipper, but as for her, she became lifeless, slow dragging steps to her desk, her teacher’s voice became the wind and her mind gone with it. Not even the usual harassment from the boys could break her out of it.

“Hey loser! Why the long face!” yelled the blond boy, which caused the girls around him to giggle.

“If you’re such a crybaby why don’t you go to your little garden and cry” the brunet called out knowing full well the reason for her mood. The black haired boy just sat there smiling.

However in her state of mind she gave no response even as the verbal abuse escalated.

The verbal bullying continued until class started, then, the projectiles began. With her dazed look and her almost robotic demeanor, no matter what the boys threw at her, she didn’t provide a blink of reaction. Tissues changed into paper, paper turned into pens, which turned into erasers aimed at her head, however; even so she did not react. Determined to get a response, finally the blond boy threw his whole pencil case at her, who caused the teacher to yell, “STOP! YOU! GET OUT!”

Even after school ended the torment did not end. Looking for someone to blame for being caught and also to vent his frustration on to, the blond boy stopped her outside the school hall, pushed her over and poured the contents of bag on top of her before ing the bag back at her face and laughing, leaving her surrounded by gawking students. Surrounded by her belongings and her face stinging from her bag being thrown at her, she wept, not from the pain, from the abuse or from the humiliation, but for the fact that she would now had nowhere to go to heal her pains, to ease her sorrow, to cry her heart out.

As the sun set she sat on the wooden chair atop the garden’s small incline, looking up at the orange sky fading to a dark blue, her heart heavy and her mind bleak with sadness and when she left, she picked a single yellow chrysanthemum to take home for her own.

~

The next day as she walked to school under the cloudy sky she saw the young gardener pulling the flowers near the gate, wincing at the scene she quickly ran towards him.

“NO!” she cried grabbing him by the hands in attempt him from uprooting the plant

“Oh, you’re that girl who always hangs around here” he said with his usual gentle smile “I’m removing the garden in preparation for the pool, weren’t you there at the assembly before?”

Her eyes filled with hurt as trudged towards him, snatched the broken plant and attempted to replant it to no avail.

Confusion struck the gardener as he watched her try and save the plant “It’s just a job kid, there are plenty of gardens around, or you can just grow your own” he replied before giving another yank and snapping the flower from the upended plant.

“Here kid” he said handing her the broken sweet-pea, “a memorabilia of this place, now go to class, I have a lot of work ahead of me” and he said no more once again returning to the task at hand of removing all plantation from the area.

Thus the rest of the day continued as any other school day would for her, English, Math, stolen calculator, recess, apple cores thrown at her by the brunet and then back to class for history and science with the blond boy constantly trying to trip her in-between classes. But like a lifeless corpse, she paid no mind to their antics for her mind was elsewhere. Her thoughts were wavering between visiting her fading haven or not.

The bell rang a final time, gathering her things, or rather those that remain, she took the path straight home, for she’d rather not see her place of safe haven ravaged. However, the thought that the place would be a literal baron land the next time she saw it kept gnawing at her, the feeling of regret clawed in the back of her mind as the paranoia grew, putting doubt in her mind and latching at her legs until she became a puppet to her own fears. In an instant she spun around and began running, back to the path from whence she came and straight towards the school gardens.

Broken flowers strewn across the floor, the stone steps marred by dirt and graffiti reading ‘feces’, ‘pig’, ‘dirt girl’ amongst other profanities and bits of the wooden chair embedded along the destroyed flowerbed. She stood there, the scene before her like a scene from a post apocalyptic movie, her eyes were taking in the sight but her mind was in disbelief, why would someone want to further destroy something that was already near its end. However her curiosity was answered by a cruel snickering from beyond the garden as a group of student was seen laughing at her from afar, in particular the brunet and the blond haired boys surrounded by a mix of girls and boys from other classes she didn't know.

Her heart sunk, the word ‘why’ echoed in her head as she sunk to the ground and began to cry, her tears dotted the pavement she stood on until it was joined by the raindrops as it began to rain. Soon her tears could no longer be seen, washed away by the rain. Sobbing, she slowly began to pick up the scattered flowers she could find into a pile, looking up at the raining sky ‘I’m so tired’ she thought to herself. Suddenly an umbrella came into view as someone held an umbrella above her, shielding her from the rain, it was the black haired boy.

As he crouched down to bring the umbrella closer to her she could see he was panting slightly and his uniform below his shoulders were damp with rain. ‘I- I’m sorry’ he blurted out, her expression furrowed with confusion.

‘T-this, this mess… it was my friends doing, we went too far this time, no… we’ve always gone too far’ he said shamefully avoiding eye-contact

‘I’m really sorry that I’ve hurt you so much… I didn't realize… no… I’m making excuses again, I noticed but I ignored it because I wanted to feel like I belonged with them… I thought I belonged there… look at this place’ his eyes darting at the chaos ‘it use to be so beautiful, just because they are demolishing it for a pool doesn’t mean those idiots can deface it for a laugh at someone else’s expense’ a small sigh escaped his mouth as the silence between them was only drowned out by the sound of rain.

‘Here’ he said as she realized that he was holding a small and delicate flower in his hand the whole time. ‘It’s a rue flower, it’s been called the flower of regret before…’ with an awkward smile she looked at her with eyes of sorrow and regret ‘I feel like I cannot say sorry enough… I won’t hassle you from now on, and I am also sorry for my friend’s action, I’ll speak with them, you don’t have to forgive, and we have no right to ask for forgiveness’ he said quietly as he slowly placed the flower before her.

‘I live close so you can have this umbrella’ he placed the umbrella next to her and turned to leave, his black hair quickly becoming wet.

‘A-Ah!’

Surprised, the black haired boy quickly turned around and stared around for a moment, for a second wondering where the question had come from. Until he realize it had come from the girl who quickly grabbed a broken twig and wrote on the dirt ‘What is your name?’

‘My name’s Jaejoong’ he replied, his expression softening to a smile.

‘Caroline’ she scrawled on the dirt before pointing to herself.

‘Caroline’ Jaejoong whispered to himself, the mute girl in his class now had a name he thought, ‘I’ll see you tomorrow then’ Jaejoong said with a smile before running back home in the rain.

The next morning when Jaejoong got to class he saw Caroline sitting at her desk but she made no acknowledgement of his existence which did not surprise him considering the emotional torture him and his friends had caused, however when he arrived at his desk, upon it was a single white tulip.