Chapter 12

Han

“You were a what?”

I alway enjoyed shocking people with that, and it helped to distract me a little bit from the pain.

“You heard me, Golden Boy. I was a cheerleader.”

His hands paused in pulling the jacket from my back, and I was thankful for it.

“I’m trying to picture it,” he said. “But I just…”

He trailed off and I asked, “What? Can’t imagine me in a cheer skirt?”

“No, that’s an image I can think of easily.”

“Of course you can. Men.” I rolled my eyes, but I didn’t mind so much.

There was something empowering about knowing that I could attract a guy like him. Even if he had no idea the crazy he was getting himself into.

“But seriously… a cheerleader?” he started laughing. I enjoy hearing his laugh, despite the fact he was laughing AT me.

That seemed like a lifetime ago I was cheerleader. A different me.

I hated thinking about the past. Every time I did, I felt heavy, like gravity had doubled and instead of just holding me to the Earth, it flattened me.

I couldn’t explain why, but the words flowed with him. I said, “I spent a long time pretending to be something I wasn’t.”

He started pulling the material again, and I could feel the stretch of my skin followed by the trickle of fresh blood. he wiped the cloth over the cut tenderly, but my skin was so sensitive. I tried my hardest to keep from flinching when he touched me, but I failed a few times.

“At least you stopped pretending. A lot of people don’t.”

Had I really? I’d just traded one kind of pretending for another.

I needed a distraction… from the past and the pain. I clenched my eyelids closed, and said, “Jungkook, it’s your time. Sing for me.”

He dipped the washcloth in the bowl again, and I listened to the droplets falling as he wrung out the rag. The water was warm and soothing on my skin until he started pulling at the material again. I held my breath, and heard him start to sing.

His voice was sweet and soothing. He sang quietly, but his beginning falsettos gave me a nervous wring in my stomach. 

그 긴 밤이 널 따라,

흘러만 가는 것 같아 

geu gin bami neol ttara,

heulleoman ganeun geot gata

(That long night is following you,

it seems like it’s just flowing.)

His knuckles brushed my , and my muscles tensed and shivered like a plucked guitar string. His voice is so tender and loving, just like his caresses and I slowly found my breath caught in my throat, and I barely felt him pull my coat the rest of the way off.

He rewet the rag, and I waited for him to start singing again, but he didn’t. He sponged at one scrape, and then another… silent.

“Is that all I get?” I asked. It wasn’t nearly enough.

“As bizarre and… stimulating your cheertastic confession was, I’m going to need a little bit more before I start baring my soul.”

I could hear the smile in his voice. That mischievous, greedy bastard.

I gave an exaggerated sigh. “I can’t think of what else to tell you.”

“I believe the word dirty was thrown around earlier.”

I was unnerved by how scared I was at the tough of spilling my secrets to him. Normally, I could care less what people thought of me, but with him it was different,

“I got my first kiss from my babysitter’s son when I was five and he was seven. He kissed me and then pulled my hair.”

He chuckled lightly and dabbed at a scrape just above the waist-line of my shorts.

“We have different definitions of dirty then.”

I smirked and added, “To this day, nothing turns me on more than when a guy pulls my hair.”

There was silence above me, and his hand stilled against my back. I smiled. I would have killed to see his expression.

He cleared his throat, stood, and put distance between us.

“Bandages?” he asked.

I’d reduced him to one-word communications.

“Bathroom cabinet. At the end of the hall.”

I bit down on my lip but couldn’t stop the wide smile that stretched across my face. I told myself that there was nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting between Jungkook and me as long as it didn’t cross the line. Rap Monster flirted with other girls all the time. Neither of us was the jealous type, so it was cool. And Jungkook would be out go my life after tomorrow anyways.

He took several minutes to return to the living room, and by then I’d convinced myself that being here alone with him wasn’t a big deal. Our kiss wasn’t a big deal. The nauseatingly goofy grin on my face wasn’t a big deal. I deserved to relax and loosen up after the day I’d just had.

It was harmless, really.

“I found some ointment, gauze, tape, and scissors. I figured it would be better than individual bandages, since there are so many scratches. T