Length: 14.6k

Genre: romance, fluff, drama, high school, blind!kyungsoo
Rating: pg-13

Summary: Kyungsoo is blind, surrounded in a world of darkness until he discovers the light at the end of the tunnel (he just doesn’t realize it’s been beside him all along).

The pad of his fingers trace against the small bumps raised on the smooth paper, dots blended together to form words and sentences that others found complex except for Kyungsoo. After moving his hand from one line to the next and flipping over to the next page, he can hear the rustle of papers being stuffed into backpacks before they’re zipped closed, then the steady rumble of shoes scuffling against the tiled floors when the final bell shrills throughout the building and the rest of his classmates leave the room.

Kyungsoo closes his book shut, then reaches for his backpack sitting on the ground beside his chair, grabbing the rest of his notebooks and papers. The noise gradually sinks into nothing when most of the students exit the building and Kyungsoo hurries to put everything away.

From the back of the classroom, he listens to another pair of shoes stepping quietly up to him, followed by familiar hands holding onto his backpack and helping him put it on.

Kyungsoo grips onto the straps of his backpack as it hangs lightly over his shoulders before asking, “Hey, Jongin, did I leave anything on my desk?”

The younger man tilts his head to look, then shakes his head in response when he doesn’t find anything, “Nope, nothing there. You ready?”

Kyungsoo reaches out and grabs onto Jongin’s right arm, pale fingers pressing lightly onto tan skin before Jongin guides him out the door.

The heat of the afternoon feels warm against Kyungsoo’s skin when he steps out of the building. Beside him, he can hear Jongin sighing happily, pulling his arms up to stretch the stiffness embedded in his muscles. They’ve been sitting in the classroom for so long, hours of studying for their upcoming exams making it nearly impossible for them to have any free time. But now classes are finally over for the day and they have only a few hours left to themselves.

Jongin gives a soft hum of delight, lifting his head back to stare up at the sky. There wasn’t a single cloud in sight and he lets his arms fall back down to his side, “Man, the sun feels so nice today.”

With his lower lip caught between his teeth, Kyungsoo tugs against Jongin’s arm and asks in a soft voice, “Can you tell me what it looks like? The sun, I mean.”

“Again?” Jongin laughs, trying to sound annoyed, but when his best friend clutches onto him with the same hopeful smile on his face, he answers back without a second thought, “Well, it’s round, huge, yellow, and if you stare at it for too long, there’s a chance you can burn your eyes out and go blind.”

“Hey, at least you can be like me,” Kyungsoo jokes, their shoulders bumping against each other as they walk side by side. Jongin slows his steps at a red traffic light and holds onto Kyungsoo to stop him. After the light turns green, they continue forward, walking past busy restaurants and small clothing boutiques until they finally make it to the more suburban part of town.

“I don’t think I can live without being able to see. No offense, Soo,” the younger snickers when Kyungsoo punches him against the arm, pretending as if it hurt more than it actually did. He just loves making fun of his best friend even when there’s no real intention behind it. “But if I ever do lose my sight, you’ll help me out, won’t you?”

“If you’ll stop being mean to me, I might,” Kyungsoo snaps back.

Jongin chuckles lightly, then reaches his hand up to ruffle the shorter man’s raven-black hair, “I’m guessing that’s a yes?”

Kyungsoo only hums in response, falling silent so he can feel the rough cracks of the solid earth pressing underneath his feet. He likes how it echoes whenever he walks, especially how the sound changes when he steps from concrete to asphalt and the rough pebbles tucked in the sidewalk poke against the bottom of his feet. It’s weird but he enjoys it. Because when one of the senses is lost, the others are strengthened and Kyungsoo views the world in a much different perspective compared to the average person.

They continue walking through the neighborhood until they make it to the fourth house on the left, a small one-story building with a warm glow behind the golden-brown paint and a large garden filled with flowers peeking behind the white picket fences. It’s sort of an instinct when they reach the front door—the same routine ever since they started elementary school together. Jongin holds out the palm of his hand and Kyungsoo reaches into the lower pocket of his backpack for the house keys. After Jongin unlocks the front door, opens it, and hand Kyungsoo back the keys, the latter places a foot through the threshold and turns back, hand still rested on the handle of the door, “See you tomorrow?”

Jongin nods, shoving his hands inside his pockets, “Yeah, I’ll see you in the morning. Make sure to do the assignment that Mr. Park gave out today, and call me if you need anything. He said it’s pretty hard so I don’t know if you can do it by yourself.”

“I think I can handle it on my own,” Kyungsoo replies, the corner of his lips tugged into a small grin and he holds up his hand to wave, “Bye, Jongin.”

“Bye, Kyungsoo.” He doesn’t step away even after Kyungsoo closes the door behind him, silently watching the blurred silhouette before it fades out of sight.

Seconds later, Jongin walks back home with a heavy weight still residing in his chest and words left unsaid.

 

~~~~

Mornings in the month of February are slightly chilly, the telltale signs of spring settling in and most of the students are already crowded inside the school building, huddled together in front of metal lockers and empty classrooms as they finish their homework at the last minute.

Jongin gives a tired yawn, slender fingers running through his messy black fringe as he tries to keep himself awake. School shouldn’t start as early as this, yet here he was, feeling slightly cranky and having a sudden craving for coffee.

All around him, every corridor is covered with bright pink, red, and white flyers—the annual dance that the school holds for the students. It’s overpriced, with cheap food donated by local chain restaurants and students gushing over what they’re going to wear for the night and who they’re planning on asking to take to the dance. Jongin wrinkles his nose when he sees another flyer taped against the window of a classroom, a tacky image of a girl in a fluffy dress and cupids and hearts dotted around the paper, “Who would even go to this thing?”

Beside him, Kyungsoo turns to Jongin, “Go where?”

“The dance that they’re setting up for the school. It’s pretty dumb, in my opinion,” Jongin says. He’s never been the type to attend and participate in school events and this upcoming dance still hasn’t sparked any sort of interest in him.

“Maybe to you. I hear a lot of people who went last year and told me it was fun.”

“Probably because Jongdae spiked the punch bowl when the chaperones weren’t looking and everyone got semi-wasted,” Jongin teases. After a while, he elbows Kyungsoo beside him, “And by the way, did you finish that paper that was supposed to be due today?”

“Yeah, I did,” Kyungsoo reaches behind him and pats the front pocket of his backpack, “It’s in here, but I had to ask my mom for help looking it up on the computer though. I’m not sure if I did it right, but hopefully he won’t be too strict on the grading.”

“Why didn’t you ask me for help?” Jongin asks, “We could’ve just done it together.”

“I didn’t need that much help anyways. I just wasn’t sure about this one part of the paper—”

He’s cut off, the sound of laughter and excited voices ringing in the air. It makes his heart beat faster, nails digging into Jongin’s bicep when he stops and turns to listen. He can recognize that voice anywhere and hearing it has blood rushing up to his cheeks before he hisses to the taller male, “Is Hyunsik in front of us?”

Jongin looks ahead and sees the senior talking with his usual group of friends. With a roll of of his eyes, he answers back a bit bitterly (though Kyungsoo doesn’t notice), “Yeah, he is.”

The warm and deep voice across the hallway has Kyungsoo clutching onto Jongin’s arm a little tighter, biting on his lower lip to keep himself from smiling so hard when he hears the older student walking closer and closer to them.

Hyunsik stops when he sees the two of them, “Hey, Kyungsoo.”

“H-hi, Hyunsik,” Kyungsoo stutters. He can feel his face growing hot and he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Jongin snorts quietly beside him but then flinches when he feels Kyungsoo’s blunt nails digging into his skin. He tries not to glare at Hyunsik, lips pressed into a thin line and eyes narrowing at the latter while Kyungsoo is busy blushing like a lovestruck teenager.

“Hey, Jongin,” Hyunsik says with a subtle nod.

The younger man nods back without saying a word. He then pulls against his best friend, “Let’s go or else we’ll be late for class.”

“Oh, okay… Um, bye Hyunsik,” Kyungsoo calls out, lifting his head up to wave at the senior. Suddenly he feels fingers carding through his hair, messing it slightly with a small shake, “See you in fifth, Soo.”

He and Jongin don’t say much to each other as they walk to class. Kyungsoo can still feel the heat in his cheeks from earlier and hopes it isn’t obvious enough for Jongin to see.

(And the sad thing is, Jongin does notice.)

The younger holds his thoughts in by biting on the tip of his tongue. But it becomes too much for him to handle, curiosity poking at the back of his skull.

Kyungsoo can hear Jongin as he takes a soft breath before he sighs out, “I really don’t understand why you like Hyunsik so much.” They walk a bit slower to their classroom and Kyungsoo ignores the tired grumble coming from his best friend. Jongin has never been a fan of Hyunsik—or anyone in particular —but that doesn't mean he should automatically despise someone.

"I like him because he's a nice person. Is there something wrong with that?" Kyungsoo asks.

Shrugging his shoulders, Jongin replies back, "I don't know. He's just... There's something about him that I can't find myself to like. I guess you can call it a gut feeling or something like that."

"Maybe you're just paranoid," Kyungsoo laughs, "And what did he ever do to you to make you not like him? You guys barely even speak to each other."

"Like I said: it's a gut feeling," Jongin mutters, feeling a bit more irritated than before, "I'd just be careful if I were you."

"I will."

Once they make it inside the classroom, Kyungsoo pulls his hand away from Jongin's arm, remembering the way to his desk at the very front of the row. Seven steps forward and one step to the left, he reaches out his hand until he feels the cool desk touching against his palm. His fingers hover around until he grabs onto the back of his chair and he takes his seat, taking off his backpack and setting it onto the ground. Meanwhile Jongin moves to his own spot at the back of the classroom and he drops his backpack onto his desk with a loud thud before resting his chin on top of it. The bell rings not long after and everyone hurries to get to their seats while the teacher steps inside carrying his usual stack of assignments in his arms.

And somewhere between the teacher's dull lectures and the squeak of dry-erase markers pressed against the whiteboard, Kyungsoo finds himself thinking about Hyunsik more than usual. It's no secret that he's had an on-going crush on the senior ever since they met around the early years of middle school, and as the years passed, the distance between them has grown shorter. Five years and counting, yet Hyunsik never fails to make his heart swell.

~~~~

The room is silent, the empty gaps filled with the scratch of pencils against paper and soft much playing from the computer across the room. Kyungsoo sits on his bed, legs dangled over the edge of the mattress while Jongin is sitting on his leather chair, spinning himself around by pushing his foot against the wall. It's not uncomfortable when they don't speak to each other, but today something is pricking at the back of Kyungsoo's mind and he stops reading, fingers falling to a halt before he closes his book shut, "Jongin?"

The younger man hums in response, lifting his gaze from his calculus book to look up at Kyungsoo, "What is it?"

"This might sound really weird to you, but just be honest with me," Kyungsoo says, sitting up straighter as he bites his bottom lip, "Do you think I'm attractive?"

Jongin snorts, biting on the eraser end of his pencil, "Why are you suddenly asking me this?"

"I don't know, but just answer my question," Kyungsoo says. He crosses his legs together and waits for Jongin's reply, hands clenched tightly in anticipation.

"Um..." Jongin rubs the back of his neck and thinks for a moment, "Well, in my opinion, I think you're alright."

"Alright?" Kyungsoo repeats to himself. Feeling slightly disappointed, he purses his lips and says, "Can you describe to me what I look like? I know I've asked you a bunch of times before but I just want to know again. Like another fresh reminder that I can think about."

Jongin closes his book, tossing it aside on the edge of the computer desk before he sits up and looks straight at Kyungsoo. He looks at every detail and curve of Kyungsoo's face—at the subtle flaws and light freckles that he's grown to love.

"Well," he starts off, "You have a pretty small nose and dark hair." Deciding to be a little more fun, he adds with a satisfied grin, "And you have these huge eyes."

"Really?" Kyungsoo rubs the palm of his hand over his eyelids, brushing past long eyelashes and the dark circles embedded in his skin, "Is it that bad?"

"Oh, yeah," the younger chuckles as he plays along. "It takes pretty much the entire area of your face."

When Kyungsoo gives an angry huff, Jongin snickers in amusement, "Hey, you said to be honest, and I'm telling you the truth. You do have really big eyes, but it's not terrifying or anything." He hesitates before saying, "I guess you can say it's kinda... cute?" He laughs behind the back of his hand, "I'm not very good with this, Kyungsoo."

"Alright, fine," the older male says angrily, still unsatisfied with his best friend's vague attempt to describe the details about him. He's trying to picture everything in his head, but all he gets is a faint blur of nothing. He can't picture colors or shapes nor can he imagine his eyes and how 'it takes up the entire area of his face'. Not being able to see was somewhat frustrating and he lets out another irritated sigh.

"But if you want me to add more... You also have pale skin compared to me," Jongin grabs onto Kyungsoo's wrist and presses their arms together, "Like really pale, or maybe you just stay inside a lot. I think I'd lose you if we ever had a really bad snowstorm or something. Promise me if it does happen, you'll wear a bright neon yellow jacket so I can find you. It'll make it so much easier for me, and then your mom wouldn't kill me for losing you."

He can see the corner of Kyungsoo's lips pulling to form a small grin and he stands up from the leather seat to sit next to his best friend, wrapping an arm over the latter's shoulder and holding him close, "But back to what I was going to ask earlier. Why do you want to know? You're usually not the type of person to care so much about how you look."

Kyungsoo traces his thumb over the back of his hand and, for a moment, Jongin notices the faint flicker of doubt in his eyes as he tries to come up with the right words to say.

"I kind of wanted to know what Hyunsik looked like too. Jongin, can you describe him for me?"

And once Kyungsoo mentions the senior's name, Jongin can feel something snap inside his chest. He clenches his jaw and shifts away while Kyungsoo is smiling to himself, smiling at the thought of Hyunsik, Hyunsik, Hyunsik. It was already annoying seeing him during school, but hearing his best friend constantly talk about him has Jongin pulling his arm away from the latter's shoulder, the distance growing stronger between them.

"Jongin?" Kyungsoo lifts his head up when he feels Jongin moving away.

"Maybe you should go ask someone else. I barely see him at school so I can't remember," Jongin mutters under his breath. He knows he's making a dumb excuse but he can't stand listening to Kyungsoo talking about the senior. There was nothing special about Hyunsik—at least not to Jongin.

He grabs his book and flips it back to the spot where he had left it earlier, taking a seat back on the leather chair across the room, "I have to study. Mr. Jung might give a pop quiz tomorrow and I have no idea what it's going to be about."

Kyungsoo notices the shakiness in Jongin's voice when he speaks, but rather than saying anything, he replies, "Okay."

The palm of his hand roams around the bed, pressing against wrinkled sheets until he touches the hard cover of his textbook.

Like before, the room is still, only this time there's some sort of tension left in the air. What once was happy and fun has disappeared underneath the small crack of the door, replaced with something dark and gloomy that has a heavy weight pressed over Kyungsoo's shoulders. From across the room, Kyungsoo can hear Jongin's fingers drumming against the arm of his chair and occasionally the crack of his knuckles when he flips to the next page.

They don't speak much after that, even when Kyungsoo's mother comes home carrying armfuls of groceries and yells at them to help. After coming outside to the kitchen and putting away the bought items, she wipes her hands with a towel and turns to Jongin, "Are you planning on staying the night?"

Normally he does stay; they would be up until one or two in the morning, watching movies with Jongin describing how the scene looked like while Kyungsoo focused on the gunshots and explosion of cars in the background, their legs tangled together into a jumbled mess and traces of popcorn scattered all over the couch. By the next hour, the two boys would be knocked out until the sun rises, colors of red and pink bleeding into the black sky.

"Sorry, can't today. I have other things to do," Jongin answers and Kyungsoo flinches at how cold he sounds.

After that, Jongin grabs onto his backpack, says a quiet goodbye before he leaves the house, the door slamming shut behind him.

~~~~

More than a week passes after the incident between him and Jongin, and luckily everything has died down for now. They speak to each other like before, and Jongin has no problem wrapping an arm over his shoulder or playfully messing with his hair. Everything was back to the way it was, but Kyungsoo still has the urge to find out more about his senior crush. So he decides to come up with other options, meaning the student sitting next to him in class.

His name is Park Chanyeol, and he spends most of the period taking his morning and afternoon naps and occasionally getting yelled at by the teacher.

Kyungsoo has his hands folded neatly on his desk, listening to the quiet snores and slurred grumbles coming from his right. He waits three, four, five seconds before stretching his arm out and tapping the other student against the shoulder.

Chanyeol jumps, wiping the dried drool from the corner of his mouth before glancing at Kyungsoo, "What do you want?" He rubs his tired eyes with the back of his hand, "You never bother me when I take my naps."

"Sorry..." Kyungsoo smiles sheepishly. He begins bouncing his leg and bites on the inside of his cheek, "This might sound really weird, but do you know Hyunsik?"

Chanyeol blinks, "Are you talking about that one senior?"

"Yeah, that's the one," Kyungsoo says, "I just wanted to know what he looked like. Can you tell me?"

"Lim Hyunsik..." Chanyeol yawns as he thinks, "Well, he kinda has dark skin, he's tall, and he has short, dark hair. And I also know a lot of people who have huge crushes on him apparently." The older male shrugs, "But I don't pay much attention to him so I'm not sure. Why do you even want to know?"

"It's nothing. I was just wondering and wanted to know since I've talked to him for a while."

"Why couldn't you just ask him yourself?" Chanyeol scratches the side of his head, "You said you talked to him for a bit, didn't you?" When he notices the obvious blush in the younger man's cheeks, he gives a small smirk, leaning close until his arm brushes against Kyungsoo's, "Wait, do you like him—"

"Go back to sleep Park Chanyeol," Kyungsoo stutters, face now a flaming red.

"Hey, you're the one who woke me up in the first place," Chanyeol mumbles rather sleepily, "But if you're so interested in him, maybe you should just ask him to that one dance that's coming up in a few weeks."

Kyungsoo pauses, "Really?"

The older male shrugs, "It's up to you, but I'm sure he'll say yes if you do."

"And what makes you think that he'll agree?"

"Just give it a try. If all else fails, he'll just tell you no. But you better hurry fast. I heard a lot of people are planning on asking him so you might be a bit too late."

Biting on his lower lip, Kyungsoo says, "... I'll think about it for now."

Chanyeol shrugs before laying his head back down on the desk. He falls asleep in an instant but this time Kyungsoo doesn't bother paying attention to the loud snores beside him. He's too busy trying to imagine a tall, dark figure with a handsome face and a perfect smile, just how Chanyeol described him. But asking him to the school dance was a completely different story; the event was almost in less than two weeks and most of the school has already grabbed a partner for the night event. There was no way Hyunsik would say yes to him out of all people that went to the school.

Just give it a try.

Park Chanyeol, for once in his life, was actually starting to make sense.

~~~~

Fifth period was Kyungsoo's favorite class of the day. Because when he walks into the classroom, he can hear Hyunsik laughing or shouting before he takes his seat at his usual spot in the front row.

They still don't talk to each other that much during class since Hyunsik spends most of the period talking with his friends at the back of the room. He doesn't mind though, as long as he gets to hear the sound of his crush's voice while he works.

But today Kyungsoo fails to notice the tall figure grabbing the empty seat next to him around the middle of class until the same deep voice asks quietly, "Mind if I sit here, Kyungsoo? Mrs. Kim told us to find a partner to work with and Changsub's absent today."

He freezes when he recognizes Hyunsik's voice, but then he remembers how to speak, stuttering in embarrassment, "Yeah, I think Joonmyun hyung's absent today too. You can sit down if you want."

He's pressing hard against the page of his book, fingers trembling until they turn white. It's hard to imagine that Hyunsik actually wants to sit next to him during class, but then again, he remembers Hyunsik saying how Changsub was absent and needed a partner to work with on the assignment. That was it. He was just the second choice.

But Kyungsoo still has no idea what to say. It's hard grasping the fact that he's sitting right beside Hyunsik, but the latter cuts the silence between them and gently nudges against the book that was in Kyungsoo's hand, "Is it hard to read braille?"

"Not really," the younger man croaks out, "I mean— it takes a lot of practice but once you get used to it, it's pretty easy."

A hand reaches out to grab the book that Kyungsoo was holding. The crinkled pages slip between his fingers and he can hear the senior flipping through it absentmindedly before asking, "Can you teach me?"

"O-okay," Kyungsoo slowly reaches his hand out and grabs onto Hyunsik's wrist, tugging him towards the top of his book and helping him run his fingers along the fine bumps printed against the paper, "You just feel the pattern of it and memorize the letters that match with this."

Hyunsik chuckles, "It feels kinda weird, but it's cool."

"And when you move your hand, it becomes a sentence..." Kyungsoo gently pulls the senior's wrist along the first row, feeling the warmth of Hyunsik's hand against his. "But it's hard the first time, so it'll take a while for you to get used to the whole thing."

Hyunsik nods to himself and hands the book back to Kyungsoo, "Is it hard being blind?"

Kyungsoo flips through the pages, shoulders sinking lightly, "At first it was, but then again, I know I have to live with it forever so might as well start learning how to deal with it."

"It's nice to see you act like it's nothing. You're probably the only person I know that doesn't complain about their life, yet... you can't see."

"It is kind of frustrating," Kyungsoo says with a sigh, "But I don't think it matters not being able to see. It at times, but..." He shrugs his shoulders, "For now, I don't really mind. All my friends help me out and I can go to sleep during class without getting caught. I do it all the time in this class; Mrs. Kim doesn't even know."

When he hears Hyunsik laughing beside him, he blushes even more. It sounds like music ringing against Kyungsoo's ears and he smiles knowing that he was the one who made Hyunsik like this.

(But it ends a little too soon when the teacher comes over and shouts at them for not being productive with their work. Quiet snickers are muffled behind the back of their hands and Kyungsoo finds himself falling hard for the senior.)

~~~~

Jongin bounces his right leg before turning back to stare up at the clock. Most of the students in the classroom are wandering around to different desks, having already finished their homework early. As for Jongin, he prefers sitting in the back and ignoring the rest of the people in the room.

A backpack falls on the empty desk beside him and when he looks up, Sehun is taking a seat, throwing an arm over the older student's shoulder until Jongin shrugs it off with an angry glare, too tired and irritated to even greet his friend back.

"So, what're you going to do for the dance?" Sehun asks. It's a random question to hear from the brunet and Jongin snorts in reply, "I'm not even going."

"You really should go, Jongin. It's almost the end of the year..." the younger man turns to look at him, "And you still haven't told Kyungsoo yet—" He's cut off when a hard fist punches against his gut. Sehun keens over, clutching onto his stomach with a pained look on his face, "What the —"

"Can you not be so ing loud," Jongin bites his tongue to refrain himself from shouting when he notices a few of his classmates staring over at their direction. Once they look away, he snaps angrily, "I swear you have the biggest mouth."

"But it's true!" Sehun hisses back with gritted teeth, still wearing the same exact expression, "When are you planning on telling him?!"

"Obviously not right now!"

Sehun leans back against his chair with an annoyed huff while Jongin rolls his eyes, turning his attention back to his phone. In a few minutes, another student takes the empty seat in front of theirs and spins the chair around to face them.

Jongin nods, "Hey, Yixing."

Said student flashes a dimpled smile when he sits down and Sehun takes it as the perfect time to start arguing again.

"Yixing, tell Jongin that he's getting really ridiculous right now," Sehun points a finger at the older male beside him, "Obviously I'm right, aren't I?"

"Sehun's the one being stupid right now. Not me," Jongin sends a menacing glare towards the brunet's direction, "Besides, I'll tell him when it's the right time."

"But when exactly is the right time?"

"I don't ing know!"

They continue bickering for the next several minutes and the anger residing inside of Jongin continues to grow. It wasn't Sehun's business to tell him when or when not to tell Kyungsoo that he likes him. It was much more complicated than a simple confession. He and Kyungsoo have been best friends for years; to have it all taken away because of some stupid crush wasn't worth the risk, and Jongin was still waiting for the perfect time to tell. For now, he's still left hidden among the shadows while Hyunsik is standing in the glowing spotlight of Kyungsoo's life.

"He's not even interested anyways," Jongin grumbles bitterly, "Kyungsoo's all lovey-dovey with that one Hyunsik guy, so obviously I shouldn't tell him anything."

"At least tell him before Hyunsik takes the chance."

"Why don't you ask him to the dance?" Yixing asks calmly unlike Sehun's usual whining. He tilts his head to the side when he notices Jongin shifting his gaze towards the ground, "You really should. That's my best advice to you."

"Too bad Jongin doesn't want to go," Sehun sticks his tongue out teasingly.

"I'm still thinking about it," Jongin smacks a hand against the back of the younger man's head, smirking in satisfaction when the latter rubs the back of his head with a small pout on his face. He doesn't say anything after that, only biting on the inside of his cheek while he's leaning against the back of his chair. At the same time he's still on the debate between telling Kyungsoo or holding back the truth. But both Yixing and Sehun were right; there was too little time left and Kyungsoo was gradually showing interest in somebody else other than him. It's frustrating, making Jongin's stomach churn uncomfortably at the thought of not being able to be with Kyungsoo for very long.

He lets his head rest against the desk, the cool table pressed up against his heated forehead before he closes his eyes.

His peace his interrupted when he feels a hand grabbing onto his shoulder and shaking him, "Hey, Jongin."

Lifting his head up, Jongin grits his teeth when he sees one of his classmates, Taemin, staring down at him with a playful smirk on his face, "What do you want?"

The older student points over to the door, "Jinri wants to talk to you about something. Better go and check with her."

Jongin, along with Sehun and Yixing, glance over to the door. There's a young girl standing near the entrance of the classroom, cheeks a light shade of pink as she fiddles with the bottom hem of her white blouse. Park Jinri; he's known her since middle school but the amount of contact they keep with each other is close to none. He exchanges a glance over at Sehun and the latter shrugs nonchalantly before Jongin grumbles under his breath, scooting his chair back before he stands up and follows her out of the room.

He leans his back against the wall, folding his arms across his chest with a soft frown on his face, "Did you need something?"

She begins playing with her hands and, for a split second, it reminds him of Kyungsoo's habit whenever he gets nervous—only Kyungsoo is cuter, and the way he constantly mumbles under his breath whenever he's flustered makes him even more attractive than he already was. But when he sees Jinri doing it, he doesn't feel any different, just the sudden urge to get this done and over with. He watches her in silence, waiting for her to finally speak and when she does, she stutters out embarrassedly, "Are you planning on going to the dance?"

Jongin blinks, thinking for a moment before giving a slight shrug, "I don't know. I still haven't thought about it yet."

"Well, if you are planning on going..." She lifts her gaze from the ground and looks at him, "I was thinking that maybe we can go together?"

The students in his class are looking over at them, the majority already knowing what she was planning on asking. They all have playful grins on their faces, smiling over at Jongin and telling him to say 'yes'. Jongin ignores all of them and focuses his attention on Jinri.

It feels as if hours have ticked by when he finally answers. When he does, he takes a deep breath and sighs out, "I can't."

Jongin looks away when he notices the quiver in his lower lip and the way she clenches her hands tightly against her sides. He says after a few seconds when the guilt slowly takes over, "I'm really sorry though. It's just... I really can't—"

"Can you at least tell me why?" She asks, "I just wanted to know the reason."

He stops. Why did he reject her in the first place? Even though he barely knew her, she was a nice girl with a sweet personality and an attractive face, and every guy at the school would kill to have someone like her as a date for the school dance. She's staring at him still, wide eyes that suddenly remind him of Kyungsoo's and how the latter's blank gaze looks more warm and inviting, to the point where he could almost drown in those chocolate-brown irises.

"I-I was already planning on asking someone else," he hold his breath and waits for her response. It's somewhat true with Yixing's advice still running through the back of his mind.

"Oh." There's disappointment laced in her voice but she tries to smile, taking a few steps back with her hands behind her back, "Well, hopefully the person you're asking will say yes." She gives a final wave before running off to her own classroom and Jongin turns back around, walking through the entrance of the room and ignoring the faint whispers swirling around him when he takes his seat and falls back onto his desk.

"What did she ask?" Sehun props his chin in the palm of his hand.

Jongin rests his head over his folded arms and mumbles in reply, "She just wanted me to go with her to the dance."

The youngest nearly chokes on his own spit before leaning closer to Jongin, "And you rejected her?"

"What else?" Jongin scoffs, "It's not like I even wanted to go with her in the first place. We barely even know each other."

Yixing hums as he leans back against his chair, "Did you just tell her no?"

The younger man nods, "Yeah, she didn't take it very well though, and she asked me why I rejected her."

Sehun leans even closer (a little bit too close in Jongin's opinion) and wraps an arm around his shoulder, "And you said?"

Jongin breaks away from Sehun's gaze and buries his head in his arms, "... That I was already planning on asking someone else."

"Someone else as in... Kyungsoo?" Sehun says with a subtle smirk. His words end too soon when Jongin punches him in the stomach again and the younger keens over, reaching out to grab onto Yixing for support.

The eldest of the three claps a comforting hand over Sehun's shoulder right when he looks over at Jongin, "You really should ask him. It wouldn't hurt if you tried."

Jongin considers Yixing's advice throughout the rest of the period. The latter was right; if he didn't ask Kyungsoo to the dance, there was no other way to tell him—not with Hyunsik constantly standing in the way.

Today. Jongin tells—promises—to himself. Just do it today and get it over with. There was no turning back now and something inside his stomach churns when he thinks about telling Kyungsoo the truth, that he's been in love with his best friend for the past couple of years. He doesn't want anything to end between them; they've known each other for so long and Jongin doesn't want to risk losing his friend over some dumb confession.

He inhales slowly before letting out a shaky breath, not paying attention to the world around him until Sehun finally shakes him back to reality. It's the end of the period and almost everyone is already out the door before Jongin comes back.

"Hey, are you okay?" Sehun asks, looking a bit more concerned. Jongin scratches the back of his head and grabs his things, stuffing them messily into his backpack before he stands up.

Jongin nods right before he follows Sehun, reassuring him with a quick reply of, "Yeah, I'm fine."

And nothing screams 'fine' like the anxiety pounding in his chest and the way his fingers tremble as he clutches onto his things.

~~~~

It's been more than a few days since Hyunsik decided to sit next to him during class and even when Changsub comes back from his absence, the senior still chooses to take the seat next to Kyungsoo, ruffling the younger student's hair with the shake of his hand before they finally get to work on the afternoon's assignment.

They're in the middle of talking about integrals and derivatives when Hyunsik suddenly grabs onto Kyungsoo's wrist, stopping him from reading on through the rest of the page, "Hey, Kyungsoo, I wanted to ask you..." Hyunsik hesitates before clearing his throat, "Do you have any plans next Friday?"

The younger man pauses, swallowing thickly before replying, "I don't think so. Why do you ask?"

"You know that school dance that's coming up, right?"

His heart stops, "Yeah, Jongin and other people told me about it. I heard it's really fun."

Hyunsik nods, clearing his throat again when he suddenly feels how dry it is. "This might be really weird, but... do you want to go with me?"

It hits him for a split second that Hyunsik was asking him and he has to think about it for a moment. The word are still processing through until he senior is shaking him slightly, "Did you hear what I just said?"

"I heard," Kyungsoo says rather quickly, "And yes, I-I'd like to go with you." He stumbles on his words but catches them at the last second, clutching hard against the yellowing pages of his book. If only the ground could open up and swallow him whole, but then he hears the breath of relief next to him, followed by the screech of the chair being pushed back. "Great. Just tell me when you want me to pick you up and I'll see you then. See you on Monday, Kyungsoo." And when Kyungsoo lifts his hand up to wave goodbye, the older student leaves.

He's still in a daze even when the bell rings and Jongin helps him out of the classroom, leading him out from the school down to their normal route.

Twenty minutes feel like twenty seconds until Kyungsoo breaks away from his thoughts when Jongin begins shaking his shoulder. He replies in a shaky, uneven voice, "W-what?"

"Your keys?" Jongin says, holding his hand out.

"Oh, right. I totally forgot," Kyungsoo gives a weak laugh and reaches into his backpack. Once he pulls it out, he hands it over to the younger man and Jongin unlocks the door. Today was a Friday, and Friday's usually mean Jongin staying over for the night and returning home later in the evening on Saturday. The younger man steps inside the house followed by Kyungsoo and they hurry into his bedroom, quickly dropping their backpacks onto the white carpet and blasting on the TV.

"Popcorn?" Jongin asks.

"Two bags," Kyungsoo replies. He waits until Jongin leaves the room before he takes in a shaky breath, nails scratching against the soft material of his sheets. So many things have been running through his head lately and he hasn't told anyone—not even Jongin. He's not sure how to bring it up exactly, but either way, Jongin was his best friend and he wanted him to know.

Jongin comes back minutes later, juggling a large bowl of microwaved popcorn, bags of chips, and cans of soda cradled in his arms before he drops everything onto the mattress. The bed shakes when he jumps on it and he reaches for the TV remote, flipping through the channels, "Action?"

"What else?" Kyungsoo replies and he hears the sound of Jongin laughing beside him.

During the next hour, Kyungsoo tries to listen to the words coming from the actors in the movie, but he finds himself distracted most of the time. Beside him, Jongin is laughing at something the main role had just said, reaching into the bowl of popcorn and grabbing a handful. He gives a quick glance over at Kyungsoo, the grin on his face fading to a small frown when he sees the dazed look in his best friend's eyes. Normally when they watch movies together, Kyungsoo would be laughing along with him, tugging on to the sleeve of his shirt and asking what was happening in the scene. At the end of the day, he's drowning in all the words Jongin described yet he wants to know more. Today, it seems as if they're watching together because it's expected—some sort of routine.

After a few more minutes, Jongin reaches for the remote and pauses the TV. The loud curses and car explosions from the movie fade into silence and Kyungsoo lifts his head up when the noise suddenly disappears out of thin air. He grabs onto Jongin's arm and gives a light squeeze, "Did something happen?"

"It's nothing. I just wanted to see if you're alright," Jongin mumbles, "You weren't exactly paying attention to the movie."

"Oh," Kyungsoo says. Jongin sees the way he looks almost guilty, biting on his lower lip as if he wants to say something but can't think of the right words.

Jongin sets the black remote down and turns to Kyungsoo, "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong."

The younger man snorts, "You're lying."

"Lying?" Kyungsoo repeats with a laugh, "What do you mean?"

"I've known you my entire life, Kyungsoo. I can tell when you're lying and when you're telling the truth. And right now, you're definitely lying about something." Jongin smirks when he sees Kyungsoo's cheeks turning red with embarrassment, "C'mon, you can tell me. You didn't kill someone while walking with your cane, did you?"

Kyungsoo punches him against the arm, "Stop being ridiculous."

"I won't stop unless you tell me what's going on with you. If you need something to say, just tell me," Jongin says with a shrug. He watches his best friend and the way he looks so hesitant, fingers curling into his palm before adding, "Fine, if you tell me something, I'll tell you something back."

Kyungsoo looks up with interest, "You're hiding something from me?"

"Sort of..." Jongin rubs the back of his neck, "But you can go first and then I'l go next. An eye for an eye if you want to put it that way."

"Now I really want to know what you have to say." His best friend laughs, but the amused look on his face quickly changes into something more serious and somewhat worried. He gnaws on his bottom lip and inhales, "Okay, um... It's about Hyunsik."

Jongin can feel his heart sinking from his chest down to the bottom of his stomach when he hears Kyungsoo mentioning the senior again. He's starting to feel angry and Kyungsoo can't seem to stop talking about Hyunsik no matter what they do or where they go. He's so sick of hearing that name, sick of people at school being so incredibly infatuated by the senior, sick of Kyungsoo being one of the people who are in love with him too.

"What about him?" Jongin asks. He hopes he doesn't sound any different because now his hands are trembling and his voice is starting to shake.

Kyungsoo still doesn't notice and he scratches his fingers against his black trousers, "He asked me to that one dance that's coming up in about a week." There's a deafening silence ringing in the air and Kyungsoo waits for his best friend's reply but receives nothing. He keeps going, playing with his hands and filling the emptiness with the noise of his voice, "I don't know. I'm starting to think that I really like him a lot—"

"You barely even know the guy." Jongin snaps suddenly. The word he's trying to come up with are spitting out of him and Kyungsoo jumps, surprised at the harshness in the younger man's voice. "What makes you think you're so into him?" His shouts bounce off the walls and hits straight through Kyungsoo like a knife. "You don't even hang out with him yet you think he's so ing amazing. He's this stupid know-it-all who thinks good looks are the only way to get what he wants."

Kyungsoo never knew he had it in him when he yells back, "Why do you always get so mad?"

"Because I'm tired of hearing you talk about Hyunsik all day. Who the hell cares what he looks like and what he does during school."

Kyungsoo tries to swallow back the words that are creeping up the back of his throat, but it slips and he says under his breath, "You're just jealous of him."

The words repeat in the back of Jongin's head. Jealous? Yeah, he's ing jealous; not just because of the senior, but because Kyungsoo won't look at him the way he looks at Hyunsik. And it hurts him to think that later on, Kyungsoo won't ever love him as much as he loves his best friend.

His bottom lip is caught between his teeth, biting hard enough to draw blood and he gives a shaky laugh. His shoulders are trembling and anxiety is shaking in the core of his bones, "Then if Hyunsik's so perfect, you should ask him to take you back home every ing day when school's over. See if he'll care when you constantly ask him to help take you from one classroom to the next since you don't want me to do it anymore."

"Fine, I will," Kyungsoo snaps back.

Jongin grabs his things and leaves, slamming the door hard enough that the room shakes from the impact and Kyungsoo can feel hot tears streaming down his face. He's never felt this angry before—especially at someone like Jongin. Of course they've had a few arguments here and there, but this time Kyungsoo can hear his heart pounding in his ears, teeth gritted and nails digging into the palm of his hands. If Jongin didn't want to be his friend anymore, then so be it. He had plenty of other people who were willing to help him—not that he even needed help in the first place.

He feels the vibration of footsteps walking closer and closer to his bedroom until the door finally opens.

"I just saw Jongin coming out of the house on my way here and he didn't even say anything when he saw me," Mrs. Do asks. "And I could even hear yelling from outside the house. Did something happen?"

"It was nothing," Kyungsoo says angrily, looking away from the direction of the door. He didn't want to see him crying and he wipes his face with the back of his hand, "This happens to me all the time. Don't even worry about it."

"Are you sure—"

"I said I'm fine."

She doesn't say anymore, watching the way his body trembles and the red swell in his cheeks. He's trying hard to smile, to reassure her that nothing was wrong and not to worry about him. Giving a soft, disappointed sigh, she nods and closes the door softly behind her, leaving Kyungsoo to finally realize that he's actually alone.

By the time he stops thinking, it's already morning and he's almost late for school. He's stumbling to the bathroom down the hallway, hands pressed against the wall as he guides himself to his closet. After changing into his uniform, he hurries outside and grabs onto his backpack on the couch, listening to his mother as she prepares their morning breakfast.

She stops when she notices Kyungsoo and says out loud, "Jongin called earlier. He said he couldn't take you to school today. Something about going to class early to make up an test he missed—"

"It's fine," he replies.

"Are you sure?" she asks, "I can always take you to school if you want."

"I can just use my cane. It's not a big deal. The school isn't far from here either." He's not a fan of using his cane, and ever since Jongin started walking to school with him, he never really thought about using it until now. He hurries over to the front hallway where his cane is propped next to the door and grabs onto it, tapping it on the ground and listening to the hallowed echos bouncing off of the walls.

She hesitates at first, but then agrees after, knowing that her son was completely capable of walking to school on his own despite his disability. Kyungsoo had always been a stubborn but strong-willed person.

"I made your lunch," she smiles, letting the tension seep down when she walks over to Kyungsoo to fix his messy hair and works on the buttons to his white shirt. Her thumb brushes against the side of his cheek, "Be careful then, and make sure you pay attention when you cross the street."

"I know," Kyungsoo says. He whines when he feels her kissing against the top of his forehead, rubbing it with the back of his hand to make sure there wouldn't be any bright lipstick stains. "Please tell me there's nothing on my face."

"I can't tell you that," she teases.

Kyungsoo grumbles in annoyance, "I'm going to school then." He grabs his backpack and clutches onto his cane, "See you when I get home."

~~~~
 

He hasn't spoken to Jongin for a while—not that Kyungsoo's counting. He doesn't want to keep track of the time they've been away from each other. As a matter of fact, he doesn't need Jongin. He can handle things on his own like a normal person.

Yet it feels odd whenever he walks to school by himself, fingers clenching around air or onto his plastic cane. There's no one to tell him what's happening. He constantly feels trapped inside his own head, hearing laughter and people talking loudly but not being able to see anything. But rather than being brought down by the thought of Jongin not standing beside him, he clings onto Hyunsik for comfort instead. He replaces Jongin's arm with Hyunsik's and ignores the fact that holding onto the senior feels completely different.

Different can be better, Kyungsoo reminds himself as he holds onto the older student's arm.

 

~~~~

The guilt is still eating Jongin alive. He can't help but stare at the back of Kyungsoo's head whenever they're in class together. It's their last period of the day, and most of the students are busy roaming around the classroom looking for something to do to pass the time. His fingers drum against the desk as he glances over at Kyungsoo. One part of him wants to go up and apologize while the other is telling him to stay in his seat and ignore everything. Kyungsoo was only interested in Hyunsik. That was it. He had no business to be a part of it.

When class finally ends, Jongin hurries grabbing his things, stuffing papers back inside his folder before he gets up and heads out of the door. He doesn't want to look back at Kyungsoo, but the sound of papers fluttering in the air has him peeking over his shoulder and he finds the latter kneeling on the ground as he pats the tiled floors. Papers and pencils are scattered everywhere and Kyungsoo looks almost frustrated. He's barely halfway done and the majority of the students have already left the classroom.

Now was his chance. Jongin wets his dry lips and turns back around, swallowing away the anger and jealousy that had precipitated so long ago—

Someone moves beside him, then hurries to where Kyungsoo was, bending down to pick up the rest of his things, "Need some help with that?"

Kyungsoo lifts his head after recognizing the sound of Hyunsik's voice, embarrassment flooding to his cheeks when Hyunsik grabs onto his wrist, palm facing up, and places the neatly stacked papers into his hand, "T-thank you."

"Ready to go?" Hyunsik helps Kyungsoo up on his feet and grabs onto his backpack.

Jongin's feet can't seem to move no matter how hard he tries. He watches as the cracks in his chest grow bigger and deeper when Hyunsik turns around and notices him standing near the door, "Oh, hey, Jongin."

The smile on Kyungsoo's face drops, eyes widening and his fingers tightening against Hyunsik's arm.

Jongin glances back at Kyungsoo, then back at Hyunsik. He gives a quiet nod before he walks out of the room and down the hallway. Walking turns into sprinting and before he knows it, one of the teachers at the school is yelling at him to slow down. But he can’t slow down—he doesn’t want to. Because he still won’t be able to get the image of Kyungsoo and the way he looks whenever he’s with Hyunsik out of his mind.

Sehun and Yixing are already standing near the row of lockers when he turns around the corner. They stop talking after seeing Jongin running towards them and, even from the distance, they can tell that the latter was not in a decent mood.

“No offense, but you really look like ,” Sehun says when he takes one glance at Jongin, not looking away from the frown on the latter’s face. Standing next to him, Yixing nods in agreement and the two of them snicker when Jongin grumbles to himself, aggressively throwing books into his locker, “What’s up with you?”

“Don’t want to talk about it,” he mutters in a bitter tone.

“So it’s about Kyungsoo then,” Yixing says. He smiles innocently when Jongin looks at him, “Did you guys fight over something?”

“What makes you think it’s about Kyungsoo?”

“Dude, I’ve never seen you this pissed off before,” Sehun snorts, “Is has to be about him—”

“Can we just drop it?” Jongin snaps, “God, why can’t people just give me a ing break.”

“Maybe because you lash out over the dumbest things,” the younger brunet states and Yixing nods in agreement yet again, “Look, if you just want to forget about him, then come with us. We’re planning on going out somewhere this week.”

Jongin slams his locker shut, the metal door ringing down the empty hallway, “Where?”

“The dance that they’re doing at school.” Sehun glances from Yixing to Jongin, an excited grin tugged against the corner of his lips, “So, are you coming?”

“Don’t feel like it.”

“Well, too bad. I’m forcing you to come, and Yixing wants you to go too.”

“But—”

“We’ll pick you up at seven then,” Sehun cuts him off, “Be ready by then. If you don’t, I’ll just drag you out myself.”

Before Jongin can even protest, Sehun grabs Yixing by the wrist and drags him down the hallway, turning over his shoulder while he’s sprinting, “See you Friday night, and make sure you get a suit!”

They turn around the corner just when Jongin yells at them to stop and the latter curses under his breath, slamming his head back against the metal locker. Suddenly he wished he didn't have friends as obnoxious as Sehun and Yixing.

~~~~
 

Time passes by too quickly. Kyungsoo counts the days until it’s finally the night before the school dance. It's been a while since he's felt this excited and he asks his mom for the hundredth time if he looks decent enough (even after she tells him a hundred and one times that he looks fine). His fingers are jittery, both filled with excitement and anxiety at the thought of finally being able to spend some time with Hyunsik.

He clings tightly onto Hyunsik's arm as they walk inside the school gymnasium, following the throng of students pushing their way through. The atmosphere is loud with music vibrating through the soles of his feet and the stuffiness of having so many people stuck inside one room. If only he could see how the world looks like around him, what people are wearing, the decorations hanging from all over the walls and ceiling. He's about to ask Hyunsik to describe him everything when a swarm of people surround them, making it hard to get the older student's attention, but he bites it back with an eager smile and saves the anticipated questions for later. Now was the time to have fun, and he had plenty of hours left to spend with Hyunsik.

They make it to the tables and Hyunsik pulls the seat back for Kyungsoo, sitting in the empty chair next to him when the whole room has finally settled down and everyone is paying attention to the host making his way up the stage. Kyungsoo listens to the whispered conversations around him, then to the booming voice of the principal talking through the microphone as it echoes around the gymnasium.

Everyone begins clapping after that, then the music starts and Kyungsoo jumps when he hears the sound of chairs being pushed back as people make their way to the middle of the floor. Kyungsoo waits for that moment, for Hyunsik to grab him and ask him to dance.

"Hey, Kyungsoo," Hyunsik places a hand against his shoulder and shouts close to his ear, "I have to do something really quick so just stay here and wait for me."

The swell in his chest deflates slightly, but Kyungsoo says, "Okay, hurry back," and hides the disappointment with a wave. Before he knows it, Hyunsik has already left and he leans back against his seat, taking in everything as much as he can. Everyone is talking all at once, describing the scenery of the room in such excited voices that it makes it harder for Kyungsoo to understand what's going on.

But Hyunsik should be coming back anytime now. Kyungsoo bounces his leg, waiting for the same, familiar hand to be placed on his shoulder but receiving nothing instead.

~~~~

Jongin takes a sip of the cheat fruit punch in his red plastic cup, nose wrinkling at the bland, watery aftertaste before he tosses it into the nearest trashbin. He watches the rest of the crowd as they swarm over to the tables across the room. The principal finally arrives up on the stage to give his speech for the night. Jongin presses his back against the wall, ignoring the crowded roomful of students until a lanky arm wraps over his shoulder.

"So what do you think?" Sehun says playfully, "Beats being stuck at home all day doing nothing, am I right?"

"I'd rather stay at home any day," Jongin snorts back, folding his arms across his chest. The suit he was wearing feels itchy against his skin mixed with the humidity in the room, his dad's shoes are a bit too big and the tie wrapped around his neck is a bit too tight. He rubs his hands together, pushing away the nervous jitters and focuses his attention on the decorations and flashing lights around the room.

Just then, Yixing shakes him slightly and points across the room, "Hey, look over there."

Following the direction where Yixing was pointing, Jongin's eyes land on Kyungsoo. He's sitting by himself at one of the tables, looking a bit nervous but smiling nonetheless. His stomach continues to perform somersaults when he sees Kyungsoo, but he tries to remain nonchalant, glancing back at Yixing with a frown on his face, "What about him?"

"Dude, he's alone," Sehun says in disbelief, "Go over there and talk to him."

"Are you out of your mind?" Jongin hisses back angrily, "He probably hates me right now. Why should I go over there?"

"Goddamn— just do it or else I'll drag you there myself!" After giving a hard shove, Jongin stumbles across the gymnasium until he finally catches his balance. He turns around and gets ready to run back but both Sehun and Yixing are glaring at him, pointing directly at Kyungsoo as they make throat-slitting motions with their hands. It makes Jongin swallow nervously and he circles back, inhaling deeply before he takes a step forward and walks over to the semi-empty tables. Once he makes it to Kyungsoo's table, he clears his throat and says out loud, "K-Kyungsoo."

Said man looks up, expecting it to be Hyunsik but hearing the person front of him say, "It's me, Jongin."

"Oh, hey, what are you doing here?" Kyungsoo asks. He shifts uncomfortably in his chair and gives a nervous grin. They haven't spoken to each other since the incident and it seems as if there's still a heavy tension hanging between them. "I thought you didn't like going to school dances."

The younger man shrugs his shoulders, awkwardly fixing his crooked tie, "Sehun and Yixing forced me to come. I didn't really have the option to say no. Plus my mom was yelling at me to go out and do something other than stay at home."

"You should thank them at least," Kyungsoo chuckles, "They're good friends for dragging you out and giving you a social life."

Rolling his eyes, Jongin tucks his hand inside his pocket and looks around the room. Hyunsik is nowhere in sight and he watches as Kyungsoo fidgets in his seat, "Where's your date?"

"You mean Hyunsik?" The shorter male says, raising his voice over the noisy atmosphere, "He said he had to do something really quick and he'll be right back."

Jongin nods, then proceeds to look over to the middle of the room where the dance has already taken place. Almost the majority of the students are already at the floor and Jongin in a shaky breath when he glances at Kyungsoo, the latter tapping his foot and bobbing his head along to the beat of the music.

"You know what," Jongin calls out, "Since you're just sitting here by yourself, do you want to dance with me?"

Kyungsoo laughs before asking, "Really?"

"Why not. It's better than just sitting at the tables while watching everyone else have a good time. Plus, we paid a ton for this. Might as well get our money's worth, right?"

Kyungsoo hesitates, biting on his bottom lip before he replies, "Okay."

And just like that, Jongin grabs him by the hand and brings him up from his chair, pushing through the crowd of students until they make it to the middle of the dance floor. The song has changed from a catchy pop song to a slow ballad and Jongin fidgets awkwardly, not sure how and where he should hold onto the shorter male. In the end, he settles for his hands on Kyungsoo's waist with the latter's on his shoulder as they shift along to the soft melody of the music.

"Who did you bring for your date?" Kyungsoo asks, leaning close until their chests touch so the taller man can hear.

"No one. I just went with Sehun and Yixing," Jongin answers back, "But they ditched me to go find other people to dance with. They're stupid, I tell you. I'm so glad you're not like them."

The younger man feels the vibration of Kyungsoo's laughter and something warm fills his chest being able to see his best friend smiling again. It's been a while since they've talked to each other and those seconds have been wasted missing him. The way they hold onto each other feels as if it was just yesterday since they had last spoken and the heavy tension has gradually faded. Because in the end, they can't really stay mad at each other for so long.

But Jongin wants to mend things back together; he wants to fix the growing cracks of their broken friendship before it finally shatters. Now was the chance and he decides to finally take it, holding onto the shorter male a little tighter. "... And I also really need to tell you that I'm sorry," Jongin says, "I was such a , and an , and a tard, so you can just 'I told you so'. You can like and date whoever you want. It doesn't even matter to me anymore. I just want you to be happy."

The dip of Kyungsoo's fingers pressing against his shoulders is enough for him to know the answer. A breath of relief escapes past parted lips when he looks down at the shorter male, noticing the way his hair is slicked back unlike his usual messy bedhead and the redness in his cheeks from the stuffiness of the room.

And they continue dancing along to the slow music playing through the speakers surrounding the building, uneven to the beat and they occasionally step on each other's foot yet they find themselves more comfortable with it. It's clumsy and awkward, but somehow it manages to fit when it comes to the two of them.

"What does it look like?" Kyungsoo yells over the noise of the music and the people surrounding them.

Jongin glances around the room, taking in everything before he leans close and says loud enough for Kyungsoo to hear, "There's balloons and streamers scattered all over the ground and ceiling in all different colors."

"What color are they?"

"Blue like the tie Baekhyun's wearing, white like the clouds in the sky outside, pink like Luhan's hair while he dances like a psychotic maniac in front of Minseok, and red like the color of Joonmyun's face right now. I seriously think Jongdae spiked the punch bowl again and someone's going to kick him out of the room. Oh god, it's going to mess up his record to become valedictorian. Soo, now's your chance to prepare your end-of-the-year graduation speech and beat him for first place."

For the first time in what feels like forever, Kyungsoo is laughing hard, shoulders shaking as he clutches onto the taller man to keep himself steady. He can imagine everything that Jongin is pointing out and younger continues on, describing what dresses the girls are wearing, what type of suits the boys are dressed in, and whether or not the teachers are not-so-subtly flirting with each other as they chaperone the dance. It's playful and warm and the more Kyungsoo holds onto the taller man, the more he wants to hang on forever. He misses Jongin. He really does, and it's safe to say that Jongin feels the same.

Jongin tries to hold in his laughter but it's not use, at least not with Kyungsoo as he grabs onto the latter to help him keep his balance. And something about the dim lighting of the plastic disco ball and cheap paper streamers hanging from the ceiling makes everything seem so right. He likes having Kyungsoo in his arms, a sudden need to protect—to love—his best friend. It feels like the rest of the people in the room have disappeared, leaving only him and Kyungsoo to stand on the middle of the floor as they spin and dance along to the long and slow ballad.

His fingers tighten against Kyungsoo's waist and he swallows away the dryness in his throat. Suddenly the room feels a lot warmer than he had originally thought. Everything fades away and all he sees is Kyungsoo. Adrenaline begins pumping through his veins and he knows he shouldn't be doing this right now, but he can't help it—not when Kyungsoo is with him, smiling his usual heart-shaped smile and holding onto him like an anchor. He lifts his hand away from Kyungsoo's waist and settles it against his cheek, feeling the smooth, pale skin underneath his palm and the latter freezes at the touch.

"W-what are you doing?" Kyungsoo stutters, the smile on his face quickly disappearing to a look of slight fear. The brush of Jongin's calloused fingers send goosebumps rising against his skin and he tries to hide the shiver that comes when the younger man's hand rests against the back of his neck, pulling him in closer.

Kyungsoo can feel Jongin's breath ghosting against his lips. It sends butterflies coiling inside his belly and his breath hitches when he feels the taller man beginning to lean closer and closer. His fingers tighten against Jongin's shoulders, heart beating frantically when he knows their lips are just barely centimeters away from each other—

"There you are, Kyungsoo."

And just like that, Jongin pulls back before Kyungsoo can react, acting nonchalant as if nothing happened. Kyungsoo turns around to the sound of the voice calling out for him and smiles weakly, "Hyunsik?"

"Yeah, I thought I told you to wait at the table."

"Sorry... I just got bored and wanted to go dance."

The senior chuckles, grabbing onto Kyungsoo's wrist and pulling the latter towards him, "It's fine. Just thought you started roaming around and got lost. I'm glad Jongin was able to take care of you while I was away." Looking up at the younger male, he asks, "You mind if I steal him for the rest of the night?"

Something inside Kyungsoo wants to tell Jongin to stay, but he remains silent. Jongin shrugs his shoulders, tucking his hands in his pockets, "He's all yours." When he turns to Kyungsoo to speak, his voice is soft, a secret tucked underneath his words when he mumbles, "Have a good night, Kyungsoo."

He leaves before the latter can reply back, shoving his way through the crowded floor and back to where the empty tables are. Not long after, Sehun and Yixing come back, the amused grins on their faces faded into looks of concern when they see how blank Jongin's eyes were. The two are giving him questioning looks, urging him to spill but Jongin shrugs his shoulders. There was nothing to say when nothing happened.

"Still want to dance with me?" Hyunsik asks, interrupting Kyungsoo's thoughts. "I know I'm not much of a dancer but let's just have fun tonight."

And Kyungsoo agrees. He forces a small grin when the older man grabs him by the waist and they dance along to the music. It's not the same like how he was with Jongin; there was something missing when Hyunsik holds onto him but Kyungsoo decides not to question it. He was the one who agreed to go with Hyunsik in the first place. He should be having just as much fun as everyone else in the building.

He doesn't see Jongin for the rest of the evening. It dwells inside his head and Hyunsik has to grab his attention in order to tell him the dance was over and it was time to leave.

"You haven't been talking much tonight," Hyunsik says quietly as he leads him through the neighborhood. The sound of crickets chirping in the night mixed with the echo of the sidewalk underneath his feet aren't enough for Kyungsoo to stop thinking.

"I'm sorry. The dancing just made me tired, that's all."

(That night when Hyunsik kisses him lightly on the lips, he expects to feel a spark of electricity but rather gets nothing instead. Just emptiness and the faint reminder of Jongin).

~~~~

They still don't see much of each other. Rather than holding onto Jongin's arm, Kyungsoo has his hand loosely interlocked with Hyunsik's, fingers filling in the empty spaces but nothing that has his heart skipping like before. He's thinking too much about this, remembering how Jongin held onto him and pulled him in for a kiss that never came.

He dwells too much on it, to the point where Hyunsik has to shake him back to reality to ask him if he's okay.

"I-I'm fine," Kyungsoo reassures the senior, "Really, I am. I just had a lot of homework lately so I barely get enough sleep at home."

"You sure?" Hyunsik asks again. After a while, he gives in and decides to say anymore. "Just tell me if anything's wrong."

"I will," the younger says, giving a smile that soon disappears when he knows Hyunsik is talking to someone else.

But Hyunsik sees it. He notices the faint flicker in Kyungsoo's eyes that tells him something happened the latter isn't willing to tell. It happens most of the time when Jongin is across the hallway, yelling loudly with Sehun and Yixing while Kyungsoo is standing beside the senior. He hears the faint sigh coming from the younger and when he asks Kyungsoo if everything is alright, the latter still reassures him that he shouldn't worry. He masks the frown on his face with a fake grin and it doesn't take long for Hyunsik to finally put the pieces together.

That after all, maybe they weren't meant to be together.

~~~~
 

"Hey, Kyungsoo."

The younger student lifts his head up when he hears the senior speaking in front of him. His muscles stiffen when he hears the shift of the tall figure as he takes the empty seat beside him and he lets out a weak smile, "Hi, Hyunsik."

He hasn't spoken to the latter in a while, claiming he just wanted to go home on his own when he's still caught up between Jongin and Hyunsik. He listens to the older student as he clears his throat, "I have to talk to you about something."

Kyungsoo pauses, then asks quietly, "What is it?"

"I can't talk about it now, though. Do you have any time to talk after school?"

"... I can't stay for long, but I can take a couple of minutes."

"A few minutes is enough," Hyunsik whispers. "Just stay here when class is over and I'll come by to talk."

The bell rings and all the students hurry to their seats. Hyunsik gives one last glance at the younger student before he leaves the classroom, the words still sitting heavily on the tip of his tongue and over Kyungsoo's shoulders.

He wants to know what Hyunsik was planning on telling him after class. It's enough to distract him during third period, hand hovering over the bumps on the paper but not paying attention to it at all. Even Chanyeol breaks away his distant gaze by elbowing him against the arm, pulling him back from his thoughts to tell him to pass back the papers to the students sitting behind him.

The final period ends by the time he blinks. The swift brush of the board eraser indicates that the teacher is cleaning up and getting ready to leave the classroom and almost all of the students have already gone by now except for him. He's glued to his seat, hands pressed on his lap and the uncomfortable coiling in his lower belly making him feel nauseous.

There's a quiet knock against the frame of the open door, followed by Hyunsik's voice echoing across the room, "Hey, it's me."

Anxiety continues to grow inside Kyungsoo and he barely manages to let out a weak, "Hi." He still has no idea what Hyunsik was going to talk to him about. He's feeling slightly worried, but then again, he shouldn't have agreed to stay behind in the first place.

The seat next to his shifts, metal legs screeching against the floor and creaking when Hyunsik sits down. Kyungsoo's nails dig into the palm of his hand and he stares straight ahead. The clock hanging against the back wall ticks along to his frantic breathing and he swallows nervously before stuttering out, "You said you wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Yeah," Hyunsik mutters in reply, voice low. He places his hands on his lap and taps his foot against the floor, "It's been on my mind for a while and I kinda wanted to just let it out and tell you face-to-face."

"I understand," the younger whispers, "So what did you want to say to me?"

It almost feels like an hour has passed before the man beside him decides to finally speak and Kyungsoo catches the hitch in his voice when he parts his lips and says quietly, "You like Jongin, don't you?"

He turns to the sound of the senior's voice and gives a nervous laugh, "Jongin? Yeah, of course I like him. I've known him for a really long time—"

"Not like that," Hyunsik cuts off, "As in, you have feelings for him."

For a moment, Kyungsoo stops breathing. His brows knit together and he splutters, "Why would you say that?"

"It's not that hard to see," Hyunsik mumbles, "You're not the same without him. Like... you're not as happy as you usually are. You seem a lot better when you're with him."

Kyungsoo can't find himself to speak. All of Hyunsik's words come together at once, drowning his brain with thoughts of Hyunsik and Jongin all jumbled together into a messy pile. But as the seconds tick away, he can't seem to find any reason to argue against the senior.

Because maybe Hyunsik was right. Maybe he really does like Jongin.

The chair beside him screeches back and Hyunsik stands up, walking towards the door, "I'll give you some time to think. When I come back you can tell me how you feel." He walks out of the classroom without another word and Kyungsoo is left speechless.

Some time to think. Kyungsoo's not sure when Hyunsik will come back, but for now, it's enough time for him to tell that he does have feelings for Jongin.

~~~~
 

Jongin heads back down the hallway of the empty school, feeling slightly more irritated than before. He couldn't find his history notebook after he went to his house, but then he suddenly remembered leaving it in one of the classrooms during passing period.

The school feels weird being one of the few people inside. He can see a few teachers working on assignments in the staff lounge and the janitor cleaning up the floors with a mop in his hand. No one seems to pay attention to him though and his pacing grows quicker. Just go to the room, grab the notebook, and go straight back home—

"Hey, Jongin."

He turns around when he hears his name, the frown on his face deepening further when he sees Hyunsik walking towards him, face calm. Jongin stops in the middle of the hallway and replies coldly, "What?"

"Nothing," the senior shrugs, "I was just wondering why you're still here."

"Left my notebook in the class, so I have to go back and get it. Need it to finish homework and stuff."

He's standing close to Jongin now, staring directly at the latter with a strange glint in his eye, like he knew something Jongin didn't. The younger man eyes him suspiciously but choose not to say anything.

"Cool," Hyunsik nods in reply, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then."

Before he can walk away, Jongin stops him by grabbing onto his arm, "Weren't you supposed to take Kyungsoo home today?"

"Yeah, but it turns around I have to do something after school. Totally forgot that I had to make up a test today," Hyunsik scratches the back of his head and gives a somewhat sheepish grin, "Do you mind taking him home for me?"

Jongin can feel his heart pounding. He wants to. So, so bad, but instead he mumbles with a slight shake of his head, "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Just this one time. If you don't want to take him home, I'll do it from now on. I swear I'll pay you back."

With a soft inhale, Jongin nods after a few seconds, "You don't have to owe me anything. I'll take him home."

"Thanks, I really appreciate it," Hyunsik says, "He's still in Mr. Park's class waiting."

Once Jongin leaves, the smile on his face still remains. Because finally things might be turning back to the way it was before.

~~~~
 

Jongin turns to the second floor, rounding up the flight of stairs and hurrying over to the fourth door on the left of the hallway. He swings the door open, "Kyung—"

"Wait, Hyunsik, I want to talk first," Kyungsoo cuts him off, standing up from his seat.

Jongin blinks in confusion, noticing the way Kyungsoo is biting his lip and how he's clenching his fists against his sides. When he doesn't say anything, Kyungsoo wrings his hands nervously, his throat feeling dry and the frantic skip in his chest unrelenting. "I-I've been thinking about what you told me earlier and..." He pauses and says quietly, "I think you're right. I really do like Jongin."

The younger man's hand is still clutching onto the handle of the door while the words are left swirling in the air.

Kyungsoo likes him.

"I'm really sorry, hyung. It was kinda obvious from the beginning that I had a big crush on you, but now I have mixed feelings about everything. Jongin has been with me all this time and I never noticed how much I liked him until now." Kyungsoo waits, hearing only the sound of loud breathing and he says in a quiet voice, "Hyunsik, did you hear what I just said?"

It's hard when he can't tell what Hyunsik's reaction is, to see whether he's angry or happy about this sudden confession. The sound of heavy footsteps walk up to him, and before Kyungsoo can ask again, hands cup the side of his face and lips are pressed against his. He's in temporary shock, then bliss, feeling blood rush up to his face as he grabs onto the hands that were placed on cheeks—Jongin's hands. He feels almost lightheaded, knees growing weak as Jongin tilts his head and kisses him, all the years of being together and not saying anything poured into a single touch.

Jongin finally pulls away, smiling at the sight of the shorter male's flushed face and wide eyes, pupils dilated as he drowns in the sight of chocolate brown irises, "Took you long enough to say that."

"I-I thought you were Hyunsik," Kyungsoo's voice barely comes out as a whisper. He then slaps a hand against his forehead and groans, "Oh, god. I must've looked like an idiot when I told you that."

Jongin shakes his head, the corner of his lips still pulled to an amused grin, "I'm glad you told me." He kisses Kyungsoo again, "Because I get to do this." He presses his lips against the tip of his nose, "And this." He kisses Kyungsoo's eyelids, "And this."

He kisses every part of Kyungsoo that he loves, from the way his eyes take up half of his face to his skin, pale enough that he could lose his best friend in the middle of a snowstorm. But unlike before, he's come to the realization that Kyungsoo was more than alright. He was perfect, beautiful, amazing. Everything Jongin could ever ask for.

~~~~
 

The pad of his fingers trace against the small bumps raised on the smooth paper, dots blended together to form words and sentences that others found complex except for Kyungsoo. After moving his hand from one line to the next and flipping over to the next page, he can hear the rustle of papers being stuffed into backpacks before they’re zipped closed, then the steady rumbles of shoes scuffling against the tiled floors when the final bell shrills throughout the building and the rest of his classmates leave the room.

Kyungsoo closes his book shut, then reaches for his backpack sitting on the ground beside his chair, grabbing the rest of his notebooks and papers. The noise gradually sinks into nothing when most of the students exit the building and Kyungsoo hurries to put everything away.

From the back of the classroom, he listens to another pair of shoes stepping quietly up to him, followed by familiar hands holding onto his backpack and helping him put it on.

Kyungsoo grips onto the straps of his backpack as it hangs lightly over his shoulders before asking, “Hey, Jongin, did I leave anything on my desk?”

The younger man tilts his head to look, then shakes his head in response when he doesn’t find anything, “Nope, nothing there. You ready?”

Kyungsoo reaches out and grabs onto Jongin’s right arm, pale fingers pressing lightly onto tan skin before Jongin guides him out the door.

The heat of the afternoon feels warm against Kyungsoo’s skin when he steps out of the building. Beside him, he can hear Jongin sighing happily, pulling his arms up to stretch the stiffness embedded in his muscles, "It feels so nice outside."

"Can you tell me what the sun looks like?" Kyungsoo says. It's their daily routine yet they both can never grow tired of it.

Beside him, Jongin chuckles lightly, "Again, Soo?" He tries to sound annoyed, but there's a wide grin laced in his voice and he answers the shorter as he lifts his head up to look at the cloudless blue sky, "Well, it's huge, yellow, and extremely bright enough to make you go blind. We've been over this before so I won't go to anymore detail."

After a while, he stops walking and before Kyungsoo can ask what's wrong, Jongin kisses him against the cheek, "But I think you can outshine the sun any day."

"You're so cheesy," Kyungsoo says with a laugh.

Jongin shrugs, "But you love me still."

Kyungsoo doesn't reply, just merely loosens his grip along Jongin's arm and grabs onto the latter's hand instead. The empty spaces between his hands are filled, the warmth of his boyfriend's fingers radiating through his palm like the sun beating across his back.