-I-

Sundays were Taekwoon's favourite days. He'd wake up around eleven, go write on his thesis he still had to finish up and as soon as the clock would hit four, he'd go for a coffee at his favourite place just around the corner.  

"The usual?" Taekwoon looked up to the man dressed in his all black waiter's outfit, tousled hair falling over his forehead and blonde colour complementing his tanned complex.   

Taekwoon just nodded in response. He had just never been one for unnecessary conversations.   

It didn’t take long for his order to get to his table as there were not a lot of costumers inside and he only asked for one coffee anyway. He flipped one of the pages of his book, the sound of rustling paper working soothingly on the brunette man as he absentmindedly sipped from his hazelnut latte. 

"Oh, I love that book. Have you read the latest of him? It'll thrill you even more than this, especially when you'll get to the part- oh no I'm not supposed to spoil but wow you read his books too I'm so surprised someone knows this writer as well." Taekwoon looked up from his book and blinked at the stranger who had somehow managed to sit down at his booth, a beaming smile on his features.  

"I.. like his writing." Taekwoon didn’t have the heart to tell him he was only reading it for his English class. The dark haired boy in front of him nodded enthusiastically, tapping the table excitedly. 

“His work is so wonderful. I was never completely into the adventurous genre, but the way the author portrays his characters and give them a rich background instead of mainly focusing on the development of the story just makes everything worthwhile and- oh sorry I need to take this.” Taekwoon watched the stranger fish into his pocket and take out his phone. 

“Hi, Hongbin speaking. Yeah. I was on my way and I got thirsty. I’ll be there in five alright. Yeah I know our assignment is due tomorrow. Bye.” Hongbin, apparently, sent Taekwoon an apologetic smile. 

“See you around.” He shot Taekwoon a last blast of his infectious smile. 

 
“See you.” Taekwoon watched Hongbin leave from the shop, talking into his phone once again and laughing at whatever the other person on the line had said to him. Without even noticing himself, a smile crept its way onto his face. 

“Cute.” 

-II- 

It didn’t take long for Taekwoon to return to the coffee shop. Exactly seven days later since his last visit. He was sitting there once again, book in his hand and coffee in the other. He faintly remembered the boy from last time.

He had sparked an interest inside of Taekwoon, his words about his favourite author making him experience his book in a whole different light. The way he described the author’s writing style, the way his character’s background stories were well thought through; it intrigued him.  

“Weren’t you reading that book the last time you got here too?” Taekwoon looked up from his book, seeing the familiar but unknown blonde waiter clean up some empty glasses from the booth next to him. He almost thought the question wasn’t meant for him, but when the worker placed the last glass on his trey and looked at him expectantly, he remembered to answer.  

“Yeah, I was.”  

“I don’t think reading a book you were already halfway through should take up so much time.” Taekwoon narrowed his eyes at him, not sure why he would even remember at what point he was the last time he visited the cafe, let alone interest him enough to comment on it.

 “I’m rereading.” Taekwoon made a move to read once again, but the waiter stopped him. 

“Why?” The slightly annoyed brunette now glared a little at the innocently smiling blond. 

“I didn’t understand the writer’s intentions before.” The waiter set his trey on the booth he was previously working on, sitting down in front of Taekwoon, holding out his hand for Taekwoon to shake. 

“Hi, I’m Hakyeon.” Taekwoon looked at the waiter warily before looking to his book again and turning a page.  

“Taekwoon.” The other did not seem unfazed by the cold reaction, lacing his fingers through each other and leaning his chin on top of them, studying the silent man for a while who just kept on ignoring him. 

“Can I give you a piece of advice, Taekwoon-sshi?” It was silent for a while, the question lingering in the air and Hakyeon took this as silence means yes. So the rustling of paper caught Taekwoon’s attention, his eyes falling on a little piece of paper shoved in front of him. Taekwoon just looked at Hakyeon confused at seeing a hastily scribbled phone number. “You should call him. It’ll do you good.”  

“Who..”  

“You’ve been coming in here for months now, with or without friends, and never once have I seen you smile. Until last week.” Hakyeon moved to stand up from his seat, Taekwoon remaining silent. “We should surround ourselves with the people that make us smile effortlessly. That’s the only way one can find true happiness.” And Taekwoon was left with a phone number from an unknown someone and a cryptic message from a waiter. 

-III- 

It wasn't until four days later when the college senior actually had time to read his book that an unfamiliar bookmark caught his eye. The bookmark turned out to be the unfamiliar phone number and Taekwoon took it between his fingers, fumbling around with it until he decided to safe the number inside of his phone under the name 'Stranger'.  He opened his Whatsapp, opening a new conversation with Stranger and clicked his info, waiting for the picture to load. That Hakyeon guy thought he was so smart hm? Taekwoon grinned, but it soon dropped when the image of Park Hyoshin singing his ballad Wildflower passionately appeared. Apparently Hakyeon was that smart or he knew an award winning vocalist and just passed his phone number to a stranger. To Taekwoon, the latter seemed unlikely. 

He hovered his thumb above the call button, contemplating rather he should call the number or not and decided on tossing his phone somewhere on his bed. If he wanted to call a Stranger who could end up stalking him and murder him in his sleep, he would be damned if he did so on an empty stomach. So one cup of ramen, two glasses of water against bloating and half an hour of that 70's show later Taekwoon decided that he had stalled his phone call - along with the amounts of work he still needed to finish - long enough. 

"Hello?" The voice coming through the other end of the line sounded strangely familiar, though Taekwoon couldn’t entirely place it. He swallowed down the nervous lump in his throat and fumbled with the hem of his t-shirt.  

"Uhm hi." There was a long and awkward silence before Stranger decided to speak up again. 

"Are you still there?"  

"Uhm yeah sorry. I uhm don't know who you are but uhm.. yeah. Hakyeon told me to call you. So uhm. Yeah."  

"Took you long enough. I've been waiting for days now."  Taekwoon blinked.

".. What?"  

"You're the guy from the coffee shop right? Who was reading 'Conduit'?" Taekwoon's eyes widen in realisation, words spilling from his lips before he could stop them. 

"H-Hongbin?"  

"Oh, you remember my name? That's so cool. I forgot yours hehe sorry." Taekwoon was at a loss for words, just keeping quiet. "Hey, where do you live?"  

"Uhm, just around that coffeeshop. Why?" 

"Wow me too!" Taekwoon could clearly hear the rustling of Hongbin either putting on or taking off his coat. "Text me your address and I'll come over. Bye!" Before Taekwoon could protest about the amount of work he still had to do or that now would not be a good time because he looked like he hadn't slept in three days, his phone alerted him that he was too late to do so. 

"Oh jesus."  

After sending his address to Hongbin, he darted for his shower, cursing all the way through it. 

-IV- 

"Wooow, your house is nice." Taekwoon awkwardly followed behind Hongbin, his hands in the pockets of his black slim fitted jeans. He had changed his shirt as well, now wearing a plain white sweater that hung a little loosely on his frame. Knowing he himself was taller than average, he silently admired the other from behind, his frame not broader than Taekwoon's but definitely almost the same height. Maybe save for one or two centimetres, but the difference was barely there. 

"Thank you." Taekwoon waited for Hongbin to inspect his belongings for a little while before speaking up again. "Do you want something to drink?" Hongbin looked up from the photo frame he was looking at to shake his head. 

"No, I'm good. Here." Hongbin held out a book, urging Taekwoon to take it with his smile. "It's Angie Martin's debut novel. It's hard to get your hands on because it sadly didn't sell as well as expected. I thought you should read it before I wore it out too much."  

"Why me?"  

"I don't know anyone else who likes her books. I'm just glad to share it with someone." 

-V- 

It’s four weeks later that Hongbin is at Taekwoon's house once again, just another one of his countless visits. The two have come to be in a relationship that could consider them as friends, even though Hongbin had initiated it from the start.

This time Taekwoon lay on his bed comfortably while the other is on his floor, leaning against it. Both were having books in their hands, engrossed in their stories and this time it was Taekwoon who recommended their current reads. When Hongbin first got the book handed to him, he was apprehensive about reading, but Taekwoon's heartbroken look and soft '.. I just thought you'd like it.' made him feel like possibly the worst villain to roam the earth. So he took the bundled work, finding himself inside of the other's apartment every day. Because the book wasn't his and he couldn't lend it to someone else. Taekwoon looked sensitive about it, so he decided not to press the matter on. 

"Taekwoon-hyung?" There was no answer, but Hongbin knew he was listening. He always was. 

"I'm tired of reading." There was another silence and Hongbin almost thought he wouldn't get an answer, but Taekwoon's soft voice broke it. He was probably just finishing reading his current piece.

"Then stop reading."  

"I want to know how it ends. There are just two more pages." Taekwoon sighed, motioning for Hongbin to come and he complied, looking as happy as a little kid. The elder set his own book aside on his nightstand, taking note that the other was already giving him his own book. He took it, careful to not let the book close and keep it open at the right page – not that it mattered. There were only two pages left as Hongbin stated. 

Instead of choosing to lie down vertically, Hongbin lay down horizontically, resting his head on his arms and his feet dangling from the edge of Taekwoon's bed. Taekwoon began reading, his soft voice reaching the other's ears pleasantly and making Hongbin sigh. He wasn't tired at all, but his infatuation with Taekwoon made it hard to not try and tease the other. Because unlike his innocent appearance, he was well aware of how the other would comply, not mattering how uncomfortable he was with everything; as long as Hongbin asked. It was endearing to say the least. And after a particularly amusing run in with his friend Jaehwan – or rather Jaehwan tried to run into Taekwoon's house – Hongbin came to know Taekwoon didn't let anyone in his home. So to say he felt somewhat special was an understatement.  

So naturally when he moved to lay his head on Taekwoon's stomach instead, he knew the other would let him do so. Startled at first though, but complying. And he also wasn't surprised when he found the other's fingers in his hair, absentmindedly running them through his locks while his calming voice urged him to drift off. 

-VI- 

Hongbin woke up, feeling strangely cold even though his form was beneath cosy covers and the room was faintly silent. Usually it was a comforting sound for Hongbin, who despite his energetic character found peace in the lack of sound. Now however, he missed the sound of Taekwoon’s voice, the one thing sounding more soothing than silence and was the thing that had lulled him to sleep.

He sat up to run a hand through his hair, feeling slightly disoriented because of sleep and the sound of typing caught his attention.

"Hyung?"  Facing Taekwoon's back he called out to him, seeing him engrossed in his work and the realization hit the younger that he had probably been keeping him from his work all the coutnless times he was visiting.

"Hmm?"  Taekwoon didn’t spare a look to Hongbin, continuing his work as quick as he could.

“How long have I been asleep?” Taekwoon momentarily looked at the corner of his screen, calculating the time of when he started and now.

“I think for about.. two hours I think?”

“ What!?”

“It’s alright.”

“But we agreed to do something fun and I just fell asleep.” Taekwoon got up from his seat, sitting next to Hongbin and smiling gently. He resisted the urge to cup his cheek and ruffled his hair instead, the cute pout on the other’s lips inviting him to do so.

“How about I finish up my report and we’ll watch a movie? It’s raining anyways, so going out would be a waste.” Hongbin nodded, smiling at Taekwoon and watching the elder wordlessly get up from his seat to take place behind his laptop once more.

“You can go downstairs and search for a movie. I have a lot of DVD’s in my cabinet. Or I’ll download a movie, whichever you like.”

“A DVD is fine. What kind of movies do you like?”

“They’re all movies that I bought myself. I’m bound to like anything you’d pick.” Hongbin felt an embarrassed red rush to his cheeks and bit his lower lip when Taekwoon sent him a playful smirk.

“Right.” He mumbled, turning on his heels to exit the suddenly stifling room and nearly tripping on his own feet in the process. Taekwoon watched him stumble from over his shoulder, his face cracking in probably the most apparent smiles he had ever worn.

“Cute.”

-VII-

Hongbin sat on the floor in front of the cabinet, different movie covers sprawled out in front of him and to describe it shortly, he made a mess of Taekwoon’s neatly organized piles of DVD’s. When Taekwoon said he had some DVD’s, Hongbin hadn’t actually expected the whole damned cabinet to be filled to the point that there wasn’t a millimetre to spare.

He was surprised by the variety of Taekwoon’s collection, mostly sci-fi releases and a lot of fantasy. He strangely had a lot of comedy movies, something Hongbin hadn’t expected of him. Romantic movies were a thing he didn’t have, apart from a copy of the Titanic and it made Hongbin chuckle. If he would ask him about it, he probably would respond with the fact that one should have classic movies.

He got even more amused when his eyes landed on a pink cover, reading the words Grease. Oh he was so going to pester him about this. He ultimately decided on a movie called ‘House at the End of the Street’. It looked slightly chilling, but the age rating told him he had nothing to worry about. Plus, Jennifer Lawrence was in it and in Hongbin’s opinion; you could never go wrong with Jennifer Lawrence.

“Hongbin, did you find-” Taekwoon’s words stopped as his movements, staring at the explosion on his living room floor.

“Oh, hyung! I want to watch this one.” Hongbin held up the movie, having Taekwoon absentmindedly nod, but inside he was screaming bloody murder. To be fair, he could have told Hongbin to be careful and that he had spent hours to organize his movies on an alphabetical order.

Taekwoon wordlessly took the cover from Hongbin and told him to sit on the couch, installing everything to his wishes. He sighed and shoved everything aside before taking a seat next to his friend on the couch. He would take care of it another time.

“Hyung, is the movie really as scary as the cover or is it alright?” Taekwoon shrugged.

“I haven’t watched it yet.” Hongbin looked at him incredulously.

“You told me that you’ve watched all these.” Hongbin’s voice went strangely high pitched and Taekwoon smirked.

“Jaehwan bought it for my birthday ages ago. Never bothered to watch it. Why, are you scared?” Hongbin narrowed his eyes at him in response.

“No.”

The first half of the movie was fairly calm, except for some eerie moments but they were manageable for Hongbin. He did however pressed his own side into Taekwoon’s, not leaning into him but rather having arm to arm contact and Taekwoon didn’t mind at all. He welcomed the slight body contact, but not initiated anything beyond it. That was until the first jump scare appeared, Hongbin suddenly rocketing up in the air with a loud scream, making Taekwoon burst out into a laughing fit.  The other slapped his shoulder with a glare, whining about how it wasn’t funny but only making him laugh harder.

“Hyung..” Taekwoon looked at Hongbin expectantly, but found him staying mute and instead lifted Taekwoon’s arm to rest on his shoulders. To say Taekwoon was surprised by the bold move was an understatement, but in no way was he going to reject the younger and only pressed him closer to him, allowing him to rest his head against his chest.

The movie ended quite soon after,  the plot twist at the end making it indeed a lot less scary and the somewhat happy ending being a relief to Hongbin. He felt Taekwoon move to get up and turn off the movie, but Hongbin stopped him without making eye contact.

“Can we.. stay like this for a little longer?” Taekwoon slowly nodded, reaching for his remote to switch his TV to watch Fox, some show airing he didn’t even know the name of but it didn’t matter – it only served as a distraction for his rapidly beating heart. He felt Hongbin shift in his hold, coming up to his eye level but burying his face in his neck instead and Taekwoon swallowed a nervous and thick lump. The soft breath hitting the skin of his neck was driving him into a dizzying state of mind, not able to redirect his attention to anything else and he didn’t want to anyways.

But it was soon getting too much for him. He hadn’t been ignoring the feelings he had for the other, but didn’t address them either. Having him so close without being able to anything was hurting him more then he would like, more then he could handle. He needed to stop this before they became too close and his heart would slowly start to crumble. Because they could never be together, even if Hongbin returned his feelings. And that was the danger of everything – he knew how Hongbin felt.

He knew it the moment he requested to stay like they had been. Hongbin wanted to be with him and he wasn’t only protecting himself. He was protecting the one person he loved the most from the greatest threat in this game of feelings; himself.

So he gently pushed Hongbin away by his shoulders, the confused and dazed look from the younger hitting him more then he would like. He had to tell him.

“I-I can’t be.. so close with you anymore.. ”Hongbin wordlessly took Taekwoon’s hands in his, holding them in his lap and smiling down sadly, willing the prickling in his eyes to fade away. He knew acting beyond friends was wrong and he didn’t care for it. Taekwoon however, just with that one sentence, made it apparent that he did. With it, he told him that they couldn’t be together, that they would never be happy. That they would never be accepted. His eyes told him that he could ever return Hongbin’s affection – even though he wanted it so much. Even though Hongbin could see that he loved him. He didn’t need to hear the words.

“I understand.”And he did. But it tore him apart. It was silent for a few moments. “I’ll leave, but you’ll have to let me do one thing before I do. I’ll.. regret it if I don’t.” Taekwoon nodded unsurely, but it was Hongbin. He trusted him as much as he always had done.

“Close your eyes. Don’t open them until I tell you to.” Taekwoon did as he was told, feeling the warmth of Hongbin’s hands leave him but not for long, as they cupped his cheeks in return. He was almost tempted to break Hongbin’s request, but he remembered he asked for it specifically. So he kept them closed. Because it was Hongbin who asked him so.

Even when he felt the other’s breath ghost over the skin of his lips and when they pressed against his own. Taekwoon gasped, allowing Hongbin to deepen the kiss, but not for long as the other’s breath hitched and he pulled back. Taekwoon never knew that he had to because he had tears running down his face uncontrollably, keeping his distressed noises in the back of his throat. And he never knew that he was too broken up to continue kissing him.

He did hear the ruffling of shoes, a coat and the front door closing with a soft slam, but oh so loud in his ears. He did feel his own cheeks becoming wet, his  tears running down pathetically. He had no right to cry, he was the one who rejected Hongbin.

His phone rang and he blindly picked it up.

“H-Hello?”

“.. You can open your eyes now.” So he did. Because Hongbin told him to.  

“Hongbin..” His name left his lips in a whimper, his breathing turning ragged and his arms wrapping themselves around his own frame.

“Goodbye Taekwoon-hyung.”  He listened to a last series of Taekwoon’s sobs before continuing. “I love you.”

And the line went dead before Taekwoon could respond to him.

"I love you too, Hongbin."