But then he left.

And my perfectly constructed world shattered. Everything was in shambles and I couldn't seem to get up. The world is dark and I couldn't find the light. It's that moment when everything about my life is in complete disarray and I couldn’t fix it. And I am afraid to say that it was also that moment when I hated everything in my life. And it's all because of a broken heart - a pathetic excuse to hate everything, I know. 

At that time, I got depressed and I couldn't eat and sleep. Everyone was worried but I couldn't care less until my body gave out and I got hospitalized. It was then that I found out that I was pregnant with Mark's child.  

I cried and cried and cried. I couldn't believe that one night's mistake could produce such development. Yerin and my parents all gave me encouragement and told me all the things that they could to pull me out of the darkness. All I needed was a speck of light and all that is dark would slowly disappear.  

I tried to pull myself up, I'm not the only one in this life - I'm not fighting for one but for two. I am a mother now, I have to keep fighting and living for the sake of my child. I carried the child for 9 months, held on tight to the hope that Mark would come back and we'd be one happy family. But that hope soon turned into disappointment which turned into anger which later turned into apathy.  

I named my baby boy Lucas and fondly calls him Luke; he giggled when I said his name so I believe that he liked it.

The OB Gyne who had been handling my pregnancy turned out to be a great lady and had become a good friend of mine. She referred me to a good pediatrician for Luke and she said that the doctor is "single and ready to mingle". I snorted and told her that I am not in the market.  

"Hello? Dr Sunmi referred you to me for my son." 

"Ahh, yes, she called me yesterday. Come in, Ms. Bae." 

We have talked about Lucas, his vitamins, what's good for him, what should be done to make him more healthy and then he asked the inevitable, "Ms. Bae, may I know where's the father?"  

I tensed and I could see that he felt my unease.