There were days much harder than the rest, not that any day was easy, just that some days he didn't even want to breathe. Today, it was hard comparatively easier than some but still agonizingly hard. Seunghyun wakes up abruptly to a mild throbbing of a cut lip and a taste of iron as the inside of his cheek bled.

Damn. Did I get into a fight again?

He  runs his hand roughly through his hair, scans the house that she had once lived in with him. She was no longer there but her presence still lingers there. A broken promise of happiness. He picks an empty bottle of beer by the side table and with as much force as he could he hurls it across the wall. It shatters, a cascade of sparkling broken glass. Today, it was easier because today he hated her as much as he loved her at the same time.

He breathes out. Stands up. Head for the dresser. Yanks the dresser drawer and pulls out the letters she wrote him while she was sick and away. He hated those but like most days he felt compelled to read them, one by one until he felt like his soul has been ripped open and it bleeds. At the end of the day he would always feel like he was dying but death never comes to his chagrin.

All her letters starts the same:

Dearest Seunghyun,

I'm sorry. I love you...