Somewhere in Time ~Key arc~

Description

Key's mysterious time traveling for an unknown reason for his loved one. Do you believe in destiny? Do you believe in second chances? Love does not know time, space or place. Even death and disappearance will not prevail.

Foreword

There was a blinding light.

My chest hurts as I try to grasp at that sudden appearance.

What's going on?

Where is she? I need to go to her! I need to find her!

I thought... I thought I was going to die at that moment.

I felt like my body began to be as light as feather, this is strange.

Little by little...

I closed my eyes, grasping that gold vintage watch.

.....

"Where am I" I woke up lying on a dry gound with fallen leaves all over. Good thing there's not much people around, but that's not the problem. The fashion, the brands, they were kinda... old school. Nervousness crept around me, as if I was a lost child. I scanned around, I looked for evidences, but my mind wasn't functioning well right now. I felt like I was asleep for months.

I walked around the city. People are staring at me as if they saw something weird and unusual. Maybe because of my blonde-dyed hair and my high-fashion sense, I understand... but... something's REALLY different. As if they saw a brand new material in a catalog. I had no choice but to swag a bit, showing off what I've been spending with lately.

Reality check... WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?! WHERE AM I? I don't remember the moment before this space shifting or something.

I'm starting to get hysterical but someone got my fullest attention.

I saw a girl, a young girl. She looks familiar. I couldn't see her face since she is facing the opposite side and slightly to her right. At first I thought that she should not be a waste of time but I felt uneasy all of the sudden, I know curiosity kills but I have to dash closer.

"Oh no... "

"This isn't real Kibum this isn't real you're just dreaming"

she finally faced towards me but it lasted for like five seconds since she had a group with her.

Now I know...

I need a calendar.

Comments

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HanMauro
#1
kei, so I tried reading your fic like you asked me to and to make creative criticisms about it.<br />
so first of all...<br />
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it's a nice start but as soon as i read on, all the ideas were hanging and bit jumpy here and there. You might want to double-check the grammars and spellings also. I saw a lot of grammatical errors in the two chapters.<br />
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If you're going to describe something, make sure to describe it all the way and don't leave any hanging ideas. I was kindda questioning some parts of the story so I though I might tell you now.<br />
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The plot was fast-paced. It happened all of a sudden, and Key met her and told her He was her watcher, then her father invited him so nicely. If I was her father, I wouldn't allow a stanger enter my car with my daughter so easily. there were no narrations about her father's background relationship with key if there is, it's minimum.. After that he was now living in her house, and became so close to her so on and so forth.<br />
<br />
You told me about your plot when we have a sleepover here at my house and I told you to make notes and arrangement on how the story will move on. Consider my advice, It may help you improve a lot.<br />
<br />
Also, If you were to write a story make sure to read it over and over again. I advise you to skip days before you read your fic again. Read it in a Reader's perspective not an author. This will help you see errors more accurate and edit them at the very least.<br />
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I'm not saying your fic is bad. It just need some work and improvisations.<br />
The idea you have is unique but it needs more progress.<br />
<br />
Take my criticism in a positive way, Okay? I know you'll get better :)<br />
Hwaiting!
vikKiBeoMin #2
no problem!<br />
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aww Key, it's okay to be like that than not to be with her in the future.<br />
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update soon!
jaekey26 #3
@vikKiBeoMin: thank you very much! I'll be updating very soon. you're the first comment for my very first fic haha. :)
vikKiBeoMin #4
this seems interesting. can't wait for other chapters to make it clearer on how Key had been gotten into this situation.hehe<br />
<br />
update soon!