At the age of 18,Mark’s relationship with Yugyeom vanished into thin air.Yugyeom’s biggest star has

now turned into a lost star who couldn’t find his way into anyone’s galaxy.

Mark’s galaxy consists of his parents’ stars and Yugyeom’s .He knew that Yugyeom wouldn’t want

to be friends with him anymore.

He never returned his calls.

Yugyeom’s letters that Mark replied,well…

Mark has the feeling that Yugyeom threw them away.

Mark was so worried because

His father just called and told them that they’ll move back to Korea.

 

Poor Mark.

Another phase of ‘fitting in’.

‘Fitting in’ was very hard for Mark.

Every school he went,all the kids would give him a hard time.

And he remembered how hard it was when he moved to Korea from Taiwan.

The children at the elementary school called him a weirdo.

He never talked to any of them.

But among those children.

A boy stood out.He wasn’t afraid of Mark.

He said Mark looked nice.He wanted to be friends with him.

He was Yugyeom.

But,all that’s left of Yugyeom is just their memories.

Memories that brought sorrow.

 

 

Mark and his parents flew to Korea in no time.It felt very fast.

Mark moved in his old house.

He missed his bedroom.The posters of Oasis and Rolling Stones hanging by the walls.

His vynel and a box of records.

And at his vanity,a photo of him and Yugyeom was placed there.

A photo of them on Mark’s birthday.

Good times.Good times.

 

 

 

It was the first day of school and Mark was transferred to same school as Yugyeom.

How?

His mother thougth that he and Yugyeom are still friends.

Because Mark had a teribbly hard time in Los Angeles,his mom didn’t want him to have a hard time

making friends anymore.

What a clueless Ms.Tuan.She’s so sweet.Sometimes you just want to wrap her up in pretty

present paper and finish off with a ribbon and bring her home.

Mark walked the empty hallway with the head master.

The head master had round eyes and a long face.

They entered a classroom and Mark scanned around the class and saw no trace of Yugyeom.

He felt relieved.He didn’t want to meet eyes with Yugyeom.

 

Recess bell rang and the students rushed out of the class leaving the weak and lonely Mark

all alone.He walked to the cafeteria and he saw two boys hanging up a sign.

 

‘ School’s Talent Show’

 

The boy on the ladder who had bright hair looked at Mark and

‘MARKKKK! IS THAT YOU?’

Mark stopped.

Who are you?How do I know you?You’re not Yugyeom.

‘Hey,it’s me!’

‘Umm…’

Mark was clueless of who he was.

‘Oh,come on!It’s Youngjae!’

‘Youngjae?’

‘Skateboarding,blood sausages,pancakes.’

DINGDINGDINGDING!NOW IT RINGS THE BELL.

‘OHHH YEAHH!Yugyeom’s cousin right?’

‘Yes!’

Youngjae was excited to see Mark.Then,a boy with round eyes and adorable cheeks came.

‘Mark,this is Khunpimook.He prefers to be called Bambam.And Bambam,this is Mark.So shake

hands.’

They shook hands and exchanged smiles.The three of them went to the cafeteria and grabbed their foods

and they sat at a table at the corner of the cafeteria.

Then Mark heard noises and he looked up and saw a group of boys playing around.

‘Don’t worry Mark.They won’t bother us.’

Bambam was as cute as a button.Mark flashed him a smile and they continued eating.

 

Mark went to wash his hands and when he saw the group of boys who made chaos just now,

He saw him.

His hair was no more dark.

It was pinkish.Mark thought he hated pink.

He got tall.Very tall.

He was shorter than Mark before.

The lips he used to kiss Mark’s cheek was still the same.

Mark stood there.

Like a statue.

Waiting for him to notice.

But he was laughing with his new friends.

 

Mark wanted to call out for him.

But he’s afraid he won’t look.

Mark wanted to brush his hair.

Bur he’s afraid he would run away.

Mark wanted to run and hold him tight.

But he’s afraid he would be called gay.

Mark wanted to come right at him and look him in the eyes.

But he’s afraid he would be called a weirdo.

Mark wanted to do anything so that he would notice but no,

He hates Mark.Mark knows that.

 

But Mark did something.

He can’t believe himself.

He couldn’t fight the urge.

He couldn’t handle himself.

And he knows something bad will happen if he did it.

But still.

 

 

‘YUGYEOM!’

The whole cafeteria stood in silence.

The students were shocked and kept on questioning each other.

Yugyeom was shocked too.He was literally shocked.He couldn’t move a muscle.

Yugyeom’s friend,Jackson stood up and came to Mark.

‘Who’s this pretty boy,Gyeomie?Your secret boyfriend?’

The whole cafeteria laughed their asses off.

Yugyeom stood up and stood next to Jackson.Mark’s ears got red because he was nervous.

It has been a while since he saw Yugyeom that close.

The other boys from the table named Jinyoung and Jaebum went behind Jackson and they started to

ask questions.

‘Who are you?How do you know him Yugyeom?’

‘Isn’t he the new kid?’

Yugyeom’s tongue was twisted.He couldn’t say anything.

But then,

He spat out words that Mark knew he did not mean to say.

‘I don’t know him at all.This kid is crazy.I bet he got transferred from a mental institution.’

Jackson,Jinyoung and Jaebum laughed their lungs out.

Then the boys left the cafeteria.

Mark was about to cry.

He felt as if a knife was stabbed into his heart.

Mark wanted to crawl into a black hole and never come out again.

Bambam and Youngjae who saw the incident ran towards Mark and took him out of the cafeteria.

They sat under a tree and talked.

‘Mark,are you okay?’ Bambam asked with a worried look on his face.

Mark nodded but they knew he wasn’t okay.

Youngjae put his hand on Mark’s shoulder and Bambam laid his head on Mark’s lap.

Youngjae started to talk.

‘Yugyeom told me about you not replying his letters.He was very mad and he said he hated you.He said

you promised to keep in touch but you didn’t.He’s depressed.’

 

Mark said

‘I know,it’s my fault.But I read his letters.I knew what happened to his father and when the heck did he

start smoking?What about drugs?Drugs Youngjae,drugs.’

A tear landed on Bambam’s face.

Youngjae continued

‘He started to smoke when he became friends with the triple J.When his father died,he needed

someone to hold onto and he hoped for you.His mother started drinking a lot.Jackson,Jinyoug

and Jaebum are bad influences.I knew from the start that Yugyeom would turn out this way

when I saw them walking with him home the other day.He never talked to me.He doesn’t

treat me like his cousin anymore.I understand how you feel Mark.’

 

Mark let out a huge sigh.

 

 

On his way home,Mark walked slowly on the pavements.

He turned his head to the right and saw Yugyeom smoking at the bus stop.

He took this chance to ask for Yugyeom’s forgiveness.

He crossed the street and walked towards Yugyeom.Yugyeom looked up and saw Mark.

He threw the cigarette away and stood up.He walked away.Mark followed him.

‘Yugyeom.Can we talk?’

‘There’s nothing to be talked about.’

‘There is.Forgive me for not replying your letters on time.But I read them.I replied your letters.

 You didn’t return my calls.You didn’t send me any emails.Where were you?’

‘I have new friends.I don’t need you.Where were you when I needed you?My father died.I needed your

 comfort.I needed someone to talk to.You weren’t there Mark.So,why bother asking for forgiveness

now?’

‘I’m sorry!’

Yugyeom kept quiet.

‘Yugyeom.’

‘WHAT?’

‘Am I still one of the stars from your galaxy?’

‘Shut up man..You’re nothing but a dust.’

 

 

Mark laid on his bed thinking about what Yugyeom said.

He remembered the note Yugyeom gave.

He said Mark was the biggest star in his galaxy.

But now,

To Yugyeom,

Mark is just a speck of dust.

Mark cried the whole night.Maybe it was caused by the dust that he really is.

Mark hated Yugyeom for being so mean to him.He was so angry.

He punched the mirror in his bedroom.

Pieces of shards stucked to his skin.

Blood running down his fist.

Mark didn’t felt any pain.

It wasn’t as painful as the words that Yugyeom threw at him.

 

 

 

 

Mark had a plan.If he can’t have Yugyeom as his friend.No one can.

 

It was the night of the talent show.

Yugyeom and the triple J made a dance routine for the show.Everyone knew they can dance.

They are dancing machines.Give them any beat.Problem solved.

Before Yugyeom performed,Mark called him.

‘Hey,please come up to the aviary.I need to talk for a while.’

‘I can’t.Don’t talk to me.I hate you.’

‘Please,I promise I won’t bother you anymore.’

‘Fine.’

 

The aviary was located on the top floor of the school.Yugyeom walked up the stairs and he saw Mark.

He stood there while the breeze blew his dark hair swiftly.

‘Hey!’ Yugyeom shouted.

Mark turned around and told him to come near.

Yugyeom walked towards him and he leaned against the short knee walls.They could see the beautiful

scenery from the top floor.

‘Yugyeom,I beg for your forgiveness.Please.’

‘Shut up Tuan.I told I…’

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mark pushed him.

But Yugyeom held onto the wall.

Yugyeom’s hands got slippery.

‘MARKKK!HELPP!’

Mark took Yugyeom’s hand.

Yugyeom hoped for Mark to pull him up.He knows Mark wouldn’t dare to do this to him.

 

 

‘Yugyeom,I know you had a hard time.I had a hard time too.Do you know what it feels like to survive

 at a foreign school wihout a friend?Do you know how worried I was?Do you know how lonely I felt?

 I read your letters.I know every single thing that happened to you.I thought we were bestfriends.

 But look at what happened?It’s because of your misunderstanding,I’m doing this right now.

 If I can’t have you.Nobody can.’

 

 

 

He let go of Yugyeom’s hand.

And Yugyeom fell.

 

 

 

 

 

His head cracked and sticky red blood flowed on the street.

A woman screamed.

A man called the ambulance.

But when the ambulance arrived.

Yugyeom was already dead.

 

Jackson,Jinyoung,Jaebum,Youngjae and Bambam ran to the aviary.

They saw Mark crying.

‘What happened?’ Jackson said.

 

Mark looked up and said

‘He said he loved me.If I didn’t say I loved him back.He said he would jump.’

‘What did you say?’ Jaebum asked.

‘I said I didn’t.Then he jumped.’

Youngjae hugged Mark and Bambam brushed his hair.

 

Jinyoung was speechless.Jackson let out a big

‘WHOOH!I KNEW THAT KID WAS GAY!’

 

Mark went to the police station and explained everything that happened.

He didn’t say he was the one who pushed Yugyeom.He said Yugyeom jumped off himself.

 

After a few days,Youngjae and Bambam brought Mark to a food stall and treat him for a meal.

As Youngjae was buying the food,

Bambam sat with Mark at the table.

‘Mark,are you okay?Aren’t you sad that he’s gone?’

Mark smiled and said

‘It’s okay.Good for him.’

Bambam was puzzled and then Youngjae came with the food.

They ate together.It was like dejavu.

Mark suddenly remembered the time when he skated with Yugyeom and Youngjae.

The time when they ate a meal at the same place.

But,there’s nothing left of Yugyeom.Why would he care.

Mark stuffed his face with food and acted as if Yugyeom never existed.

 

 

Mark doesn’t want to reach someone he can’t see.

Cupid demanded back his arrow.

Mark’s love for Yugyeom has gone.

Buried together with Yugyeom.

Mark is going to turn the page and start a new ending with his new friends.

He was just a lost star trying to light up the dark.

 

 

But he will forever be the dust to Yugyeom.