It was totally Changmin’s fault for starting it, Yunho thinks.

Or maybe it was Jaejoong’s since he was the one who gave Changmin the idea in the first place.

But it was probably the alcohol that was the real one to blame here.

In any case, it was not in any way his fault.

Jaejoong sort of brings it up when Yunho and Changmin are arguing over a mess of footprints that litter the floor and leave a muddy trail right to Yunho’s bedroom door.

“Hyung, is it really that difficult to take off your shoes? I don’t know how many times I’ve asked you to stop and you just never listen.”

“What’s the big deal, Changmin-ah? I’ll clean it up tomorrow.”

Changmin throws his hands up in the arms and groans. “You won’t! That’s the whole problem! Every time you leave a mess everywhere guess who has to come and clean it up after you?”

Yunho scrunches up his nose in anger. “That’s because you don’t even give me the chance to clean it before you start nagging at me.”

“God Yunho, why are you such little sometimes?”

Jaejoong lets out a low whistle in the background.

Yunho turns blue in the face. “A-a little WHAT?”

“God, stop fighting like an old married couple. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were dating.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Changmin snaps and storms off to his room.

Jaejoong gives Yunho a shrug. “Touchy, touchy.”

Yunho rolls his eyes and storms back to his.

Later that night, Changmin crawls into Yunho’s bed and pokes him awake.

“Hyung. Wake up.”

“Nnghffh?” Yunho says.

Changmin’s in a loose long sleeved shirt that cups over his hands. “… I’m sorry for calling you a little .”

Yunho sighs and lifts the covers. Changmin crawls under and snuggles up to him, head on his chest.

Yunho scratches the hair behind Changmin’s ear until he’s snoring softly.

So Changmin and Yunho are drinking together in Yunho’s room, and they’re both still a bit sensitive and emotional from their fight.

And this is where the problem starts.

Changmin’s on his second bottle of Soju when it gets brought up.

“Jaejoong hyung was right. We really are like a married couple when we fight, aren’t we?” Changmin muses into his shot glass.

Yunho lets out a soft chuckle. “I’m the husband.”

“Like hell you are,” Changmin counters, standing up on unsteady feet and pointing an accusing finger at Yunho. “First of all, you dance like a girl. Your gestures are all feminine and you dance like—“ Changmin shimmies his hips and arms in a poor, alcohol filled imitation of Yunho flailing to Rising Sun.

Yunho puffs his chest out. “How narrow minded of you. Gender stereotypes, Changmin.”

This is too difficult for Changmin’s alcohol ridden brain to process correctly. “Okay fine, let’s just say we’re both the husbands.”

Yunho nods in acquiescence .

Changmin sits back down and nudges up to Yunho’s side, resting his head on the older man’s shoulder. “But if you think about it, Jaejoong, Junsu, and Yoochun hyung would totally be convinced we were dating if we told them we were.”

“It would be kind of funny.”

“It kind of would.” Changmin lifts his heavy head and stares at Yunho with this mischievous twinkle that makes Yunho very, very nervous.

“Oh god, I know that look.”

“So like, I’m just saying, how funny would it be if we did actually pretend there was something going on? And without saying it, see how long it takes them to catch on.”

“Um,” Yunho says.

“Just think about how awkward we could make it. Think of the possibilities. But if anyone asked us if there was something going on we’d just be like ‘no we’re only best friends’, because it’s true. It would drive Jaejoong hyung mad.” Changmin was already giggling with delight just imaging it.

Yunho hums are haws. “I don’t know…”

“Oh come on. It’ll be fun.”

His head’s feeling a bit too fuzzy for him to be making any rational decision, but whatever. That was what morning afters were for. Plus, torturing Jaejoong was always kind of on his to-do list. “All right. I’m in.”

Yunho can’t believe he’s going along with this. It kind of seemed like a funny idea at the time but now he’s confronted with the prospect of pretending to date Changmin, well, it just feels ing awkward.

“So there has to be ground rules, right?” Changmin says around his toothbrush the next morning, scratching his chin as they wash up in the bathroom to get ready for dance rehearsals.

Yunho pauses with white face cream all over his face. “Do we really have to do this?”

Changmin spits in the sink and points his toothbrush accusingly at Yunho, bits of toothpaste flying and hitting the older in the face. Yunho gags. “You can’t back out now. You promised.”

. He’s using that tone of voice that makes Yunho feel horribly guilty for even existing.

Yunho had thought about it last night when Changmin had fallen asleep next to him. He’d come up with a few excuses to bail himself out of the deal, but then he really started thinking about it and thought that maybe it wasn’t totally a bad idea.

Because Yunho had his own agenda, and could possibly profit from this idea.

Still. Even if he’s already agreed to it in his head, it’s not going to stop him from whining.

But when Changmin uses that stupid voice, he crumbles. “Right. Fine. We’ll do it. And yes we’ll need some ground rules.”

Changmin grins wide and his eyes sparkle.

“I’m not kissing you,” Yunho says quickly.

Changmin looks horrified. “No. NO. God why would you even bring that—“

“YOU WERE LOOKING AT ME WITH SPARKLY EYES SO I JUST—“

“MY EYES DID NOT SPARKLE.”

“OKAY. End of topic!” Yunho shouts, face burning.

There’s a brief silence between them as they both measure each other up.

Changmin looks a bit wary now. “…Holding hands is good.”

“Excessively long hugs are good.”

Changmin nods sagely. “I think I’m fairly open to anything that makes the other three uncomfortable. But, we’re definitely drawing the line at anything to do with lips. And under clothes. I am just—no. It’s not happening.”

“… I wasn’t planning on it,” Yunho mumbles awkwardly.

Changmin runs his hand through his hair and pokes at a colossal pimple between his eyebrows. “But we need to make it believable. We already act like a married couple, so we just need to step it up a bit.” He nibbles his lip in thought and squeezes some white paste onto the problem pimple.

He snaps his fingers. “Pet names.”

Yunho just stares at him and leans against the counter with his arms crossed. “Are you being real with me right now,” Yunho deadpans.

“A hundred percent, Yunnie-bear.”

“Oh god. Anything but Yunnie-bear. I’m serious, I will trade you my life savings if you promise to never use that again. Just use something normal, like baby or honey. But try to make it kind of secretive sounding, you know? It’s more suspicious that way.”

Yunho can’t believe how far he’s getting into this bull.

He also can’t believe how much fun he’s having.

He briefly wonders if this is morally wrong, then decides he doesn’t really care.

“Good idea,” Changmin says, rolling his shoulders and clapping his hands together. “We just need to pretend we’re trying to be subtle about our affection, right? And if someone sees, we’ll pull away and get all defensive about it.”

Yunho nods. “Exactly.”

Changmin takes one last look in the mirror and then smiles at Yunho cheekily, holding up his hand for a high five. “To us.”

Yunho slaps his hand. “To us, Changdola.”

Changmin turns bright red at the endearment and grumbles something unintelligible, stomping out the door way.

Oh Yunho was going to have so much fun with this.