Backstage Chaos II
There's Never Ever Been a Show Like This
The problem, Siwon had forgotten, wasn't necessarily that the members of Super Junior tried on purpose to make life difficult; it just always happened that way. Put 15 boys ages 19-25 together in an enclosed space for more than 30 minutes and before you know it Kyuhyun is eating everyone's food, Henry can't understand half of what is being said to him and Hankyung's too busy trying to keep Heechul from rewriting the script to help him, Zhou Mi is muttering about how that color so doesn't fit Kui Xian's palette at all, and Eunhyuk is pouting because Donghae he's too busy braiding Kibum's wig to pay attention to him-
Wait, what?
Siwon does a double take and sees that indeed, Donghae is combing his fingers through Kibum's wig and seperating it for braids. Kibum keeps fidgeting and he looks like he would rather be anywhere else, but Donghae.... Siwon is actually taken aback by the look on his face. Usually he's only that focused when he's dancing.
"Uh, Siwon," Sungmin says when Siwon points it out. "That's more like the look of someone who's beyond comprehension."
Siwon doesn't answer. Instead he goes and sits in a corner with his knees pulled up to his chest and tries not to cry.
"Welcome to my world," Leeteuk says cheerfully as he pats Siwon's head.
"Oh my god will you get a room!" Henry shrieks, but nobody can figure out exactly who he is taking to and so it is Henry who winds up having to find a room AWAY from all the madness ("I'll be one of the peas," he says exasperatedly to Siwon on his way out. "I'll be anything you want me to be as long as you promise to save my childhood from these crazy people."). Siwon lets him go; one less person he needs to worry about.
"ALRIGHT!" Siwon finally yells, and the noise reduces to mutters. "Everyone who has a role assigned to them- get out. Go buy us all lunch or something, just get out of this room."
He winds up having to pull some people (namely Heechul) back into the room. By the time everyone's been sorted out and locked in the room Siwon has a pounding headache and he just wants to get this whole thing over with.
"Sungmin, you're going to wind up as one of the peas."
"No way in hell," Sungmin says. Siwon curses his age- he can't scold any of these people, they're all older than him. Well, except Ryeowook, but he hasn't done anything wrong yet so he can't scold him anyway.
"Sungmin," Siwon says seriously, "You need to accept your role and-"
"No freaking way," Sungmin interrupts. "And nothing you say or do can make me."
Siwon briefly considers resorting to physical violence (it's amazing Leeteuk hasn't killed anyone yet, really) but then Heechul catches his eye from the corner and mouths something. Siwon squints and then his eyes go wide.
'Christmas Party'.
Siwon pulls Sungmin over and puts his mouth to his ear. "If you don't cooperate with me, I'll tell Ryeowook what really happened at the Christmas Party last year. You know, with-"
"I will do whatever you say," Sungmin says in a strained tone, looking faintly green.
By the time Siwon finishes assigning the rest of the roles- the Gourd Brothers to Yesung and Shindong, Junior Asparagus to Ryeowook, Mr. Nezzer to Kangin, and Bob the Tomato to himself, he is already feeling an incoming wave of nausea.
Thankfully, a surprisingly thoughtful Kangin had managed to convince the other members to just shut up and accept their roles before Siwon snapped and roundhouse-kicked them all to America or something. (Moral values be darned, Siwon had his black belt for a reason.)
Siwon barely had time to thank him for his help, though.
"Now that we've got this over with, let's go eat!" Kangin announced loudly.
Wait, what? Siwon died a little more on the inside as he realized that no one would be reading their scripts tonight.
"I second that motion!" cheered Shindong.
"Siwonnie, you'll pay right?" Kangin asked with a grin. Siwon could only stare at him in bewilderment. "Great! It's decided then! Let's go!"
And with that, Kangin looped an arm around a dazed Siwon's shoulders and guided him roughly out the door.
As Kangin gathered the other members, informing them that they would be going out to eat, and that Siwon would be paying, a concerned Donghae approached Siwon, dragging Kibum behind him.
"Hyung... are you okay? You look like you've been traumatized or something. Hellooooo? Siwonnie hyung?"
Siwon just blinked.
"Kibummie, I think there's something wrong with Siwonnie today. Did we break him?"
Kibum shrugged.
Before Donghae could ask any more questions, Kangin strode over to where they were standing, and gave Siwon a hearty slap on the back.
"He'll be fine- a few pints of beer'll loosen him up for sure. Everyone's waiting for us now, c'mon, let's go."
Siwon briefly considered trying to make a run for it, but decided against that idea. As fast as he was, he wasn't too sure he could outrun all twelve of them. And besides, how much could everyone eat anyways? Surely the bill wouldn't make him go broke or anything- he could just make up for it by selling a couple of his used towels to fans saving up his money responsibly. Because he was a responsible person. Definitely.
The responsible man squared his shoulders, let out a sigh, and followed a bouncing Donghae into their van. Just by the look on Kyuhyun's face, he could tell that it was going to be a very, very long night.
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