He was looking at her. Her hands were raised as if she was protecting herself. She was crying. He knew that she’s scared, fearing the man who is in front of her, like he’s someone who would gobble her up or might end her life.

He studied her face, it was full of bruise and flooded with tears. He can see that she was shaking. He sighed. How many times did he say that he doesn’t want to see her? How many times did he hurt her? How many times did he hear the word ‘sorry’ from her? He doesn’t know. He lose track.

He lowered his hand. He doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want to hurt her and he promised that. He promised that he wouldn’t hurt her nor let her cry. But everything change. He doesn’t know how or why. It’s just that, he woke up knowing that he does not love her anymore.

He tried to push her away from his life yet she chose to stay, even though she was always in pain. One time he asked her, ‘Why do you still love me?’ She simply smiled and said that she still loves him.

He thought that it was stupid, that she was stupid.

He fell right through his knees, he was surprised that he was crying. He doesn’t know why. It’s just that the tears suddenly came out from his eyes.

She kneeled in front him, her hands reaching his face. He felt it, her hands. It was soft yet very delicate. She is fragile. He knew that.

He looked straight in her eyes and his heart stopped, as if it was refusing to beat. His breathing stopped for a second. Pain rushed through all his body.

He knew better just looking at her eyes. He knew that she’s now giving up. He knew that she’s now tired, tired from everything that she have felt through all this years with him. She is now leaving him. He knew. It was written all over her eyes.

He held her hands tightly, as if he does not want to let her go. He was confused, for a moment he wanted her to leave but now he doesn’t want to let her go.

‘Daehyun, I love you’ she said between her sob. He held her hands more tightly as if telling her to stop what she’s going to say. It pained him so much, thinking that the woman who loved him with all her life is now leaving him.

‘But I think… I think it’s time to leave, to let go’

He leaned closer, their foreheads touching. He held her face gently, wiping every tear that came down from her eyes.

‘You’re going to leave me?’ He asked, looking at her eyes. Why would he even ask that, if he already know the answer.

She closed her eyes, ‘Yes’

He heaved a long sigh. ‘Why? But you-‘

‘I think that what we have is not right anymore. I think that we’re not really destined for each other. And I’m getting tired. I’m so tired with all the pain and this is what you want right? You’re asking me to leave you and now I’m giving it to you’ she said.

Yes, that is what he wanted but no. He does not know what to do. He got what he wanted, she’s leaving but he doesn’t want to let her go.

‘No, you-‘

‘I’m tired’ her voice wavered.

He is now scared. Pain, little by little, kept creeping in his inside, making it harder to breathe, making it harder for him to move and making it harder for him to say the words that he wanted to say.

‘Don’t go’ he thought.

‘Daehyun, I love you’ she whispered and kissed him.

Everything happened so fast, he was lost. He just knew that he was sitting at the floor, crying, yelling her name and asking her to not leave him.

But he was too late. She’s now gone, leaving him all alone.

There are too many what-ifs in his mind. And it’s making his head hurt.

But one thing for sure, he want her back.